"GCI Wife"'s question

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

You may read and post, but some features are restricted to registered members. Please consider registering to gain full access! Registration is free and only takes a few moments to complete.

[EverAStudent]

Linda, someone else stated earlier that GCx does things, odd and bad things, for the good of the movement over and above the good of the Kingdom or the good of the saints.  I think that testimony is true.

[newcreature]

I crashed and burned and ended up in the GC ash pile years ago. By God's grace I eventually found a small fellowship with a pastor who understands that Christ is our life -- not the church, not leadership, and not any other human endeavor or relationship.

Someone in here mentioned Maj. Ian Thomas; my pastor knew him. I got to hear him speak once a few years before he died in 2007. I read "The Saving Life of Christ" and it was a spring board for me to start reading the Bible again. In my years in GC, the Bible more or less became my military handbook and God was the General whose orders came down through the elders. blecchhhhhh!
 
Now I am getting reacquainted with Jesus and realizing anew what true love really is. How many of you have the "Footprints" passage on your refrigetator door? I do!

Jesus sticks closer than a brother, and his consolations have started delighting my soul again. I never responded to all the warning flags at GC until the damage was done in my life. Ultimately, I am responsible for listening to error. I had the Holy Spirit to lead and to guide me, but I let men lead me instead. I am not minimizing the effect of the error preached at GC -- it is tragic to read so many of the stories in here -- but take heart, Jesus is still the Truth, and He will set us free.

[everythingchrist]

new creature:  how do you get over the bitterness?  I'm two years post-GC and still feel like a victim.  Want to move to get out of this small town where there's still casual contact and definite avoidance by those still at GC

[newcreature]

Hi everythingchrist, sorry... I hadn't checked this forum for several weeks.

I can imagine a small town situation would make it more difficult for you. I very rarely see or hear about people I once knew in GCI. I am in a bigger city, and like I mentioned, by the grace of God I found another church where I enjoy good teaching and encouraging friendships and fellowship.

For quite a while after I left GCI, I couldn't even stand to listen to anything on Christian radio. I would change the dial in anger when listening to another list of "do's and dont's" or another "10 Steps to Holiness" or another guilt trip about "sin and confession" or another "send us your money so you will be blessed tenfold!" Heck, why didn't they send me their money since they would have made ten million according to their theology? I also didn't like the "Christian rock" music playing on the local stations; so I just tuned into classic rock, or jazz, or John Denver, or Johnny Cash.

There was no magical formula, and I hope this doesn't sound trite, but for me it's been a matter of getting back to basics, especially the one expressed in the hymn: "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."  I discovered there are actually three verses to that song when a young boy requested it one Sunday (#185 in the Celebration Hymnal by Word Music...lol) It's very encouraging!

I quit going to the Bible to get my "marching orders" or my superficial "verse for the day." I once heard a message comparing the Bible to a menu. The menu has a lot of great pictures and information, but it doesn't satisfy my hunger. It doesn't help if I just read the menu and then get up and leave. It doesn't nourish me by just memorizing the menu and quoting it to others. The menu is just a means to an end -- eating a delicious meal. Jesus is the meal. He is the bread of life, he is the good shepherd, he is the way, and the truth, and the life, and he is my friend who sticks closer than a brother. The more I hear and accept those truths by faith, the more it seems to set me free from my worries or fears or selfishness or bitterness.

I still struggle with feelings of disappointment or discontentment or weakness; who doesn't? But the passage about God completing the good work that he started in me gives me a lot of hope. It simply takes a while (or a lifetime) to replace a lot of misguided teaching that I bought into (and even sold) in school, in life, in GCI, etc. We do have an enemy of our soul who likes to deceive us and get us to focus on temporal things. But thank God he gave us the Holy Spirit to comfort and lead and guide us while we look forward to our new bodies and our eternal home.

I am not saying anything you don't already know; for me it's just helpful to be reminded of these things. If you want to chat in private, send me a pm. God designed the body of Christ; so it's nice to enjoy the encouragement of fellow pilgrims.

[Rev. Russ Westbrook]

Sad.  My heart breaks for the original poster. 

My experience was the other side of the coin.  I was pursuing a Christian gal who I loved deeply; but, becuase I wasn't "leadership material" leadership told her I was "too immature" to consider.  I was dropped like a hot rock.  I only got to speak to her one last time before the war broke out, and nothing was really said.

God's providence for me was such that He gave me a much better suited Christian gal to be my wife, and I love HER with all my heart; she is my true love.  I wouldn't trade her for anyone.  But it still drives me to rage to think of how the "leaders" in "my church" transgressed their lawful authority and took matters into their own hands.  The biblical brackets around this matter are "but only in the Lord".  As a minister of Word and Sacrament these last 23 years, I have had to counsel many a diciaple that we are only to marry in the Lord: but beyond that, I have no authority, declarative or otherwise; and I'd never want to live with the burden of giving someone else the marriage I believed they should be in.

Thanks to the leadership's overstep, I'll never know if it would have worked out between me and "sister 1".  I'll never know what she actually thought of me, whether she loved me, Etc.  I have not been cheated; by God anyway.  But I still feel the pangs of anger at how I was cheated by men.  Joseph is to me a kindred spirit.

Yet for the original poster- I want you to trust in the God who provides all things, whose Law is clearly stated before our eyes, and who can bring life from void and chaos. Your marriage may have been the result of lies and deceit, but you and your husband DID make vows before God.  And God has given you three precious diciaples to raise in the Lord.  Having ministered to so many marriages over these years, I know that indwelling sin can make a Hell of any marriage; and a marriage dedicated to God can be made a window on Heaven, no matter who is in it.  You only have this moment; the past is gone, and no one has promised you tomorrow.  Seek God in Christ for help in growing into love with the man you vowed to love and help.  Don't add to former tragedy by breaking God's Law; it NEVER makes anything better.     "Falling" in love is way overrated anyway.  Seek God who can help you BUILD something lovily from the ruins.