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Author Topic: A note to Gary Miller, John Van Dyck, Natalie Hoffman, and the rest you  (Read 13899 times)
jeromydaviddarling
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« on: May 03, 2018, 09:17:02 am »

While you are all feasting on the corpse of my family, I thought I would point out a couple important things you apparently missed last night:

Suzanne said the abuse went on for five years, until she got married. She met my dad in approx. 1987 and got married to John in approx. 1989. Someone care to unravel that lie?

Suzanne said that my dad asked about her and her current boyfriend's sexual positions, but she didn't have a boyfriend when she met my dad and she and John did not have sex until they were married. Know how I know that? Because Suzanne used to tease John about their wedding night. See John was a virgin. And up until they first had sex he thought women got pregnant through their belly button. I actually always found that very endearing about John and his commitment to sexual Integrity before marriage. Anyone care to unravel this lie?

See either Suzanne thinks we're to stupid to catch these things, or she's struggling mentally much more than any of you realize - which one is worse?

Natalie was not victim A or victim C. She has a massively successful blog and life coach Ministry attempting to coach women out of their marriages. She's quite successful at it. She's had any number of opportunities to tell her story to her massive following but never did until she could put her face on television. It's the worst kind of pandering and opportunism. Since no one on here likes to hear the other side of the story, I can tell you unequivocally that her ex-husband was a decent guy that I knew and loved for many years. He is not the abusive monster she has written about relentlessly and she has systemically destroyed most of his life.

So John finally steps up. You guys kept trying to tell yourself that it wasn't weird that he said nothing for months on end, only to find a couple random strangely worded comments buried in Facebook threads supposedly by him. When he finally did make a public statement he didn't even call Suzanne his wife. He sat there last night nodding dutifully and only had comments on the supposed bribe money. Heidi since you're so intent on inserting yourself into this conversation, why don't you be the one to break the news to everyone on this forum about their martial history? And while you're at it, please stop lying about the basement. I know you babysat me, and if and when you ever had a conversation with my father in the basement, it was about 20 feet from my bed. Nothing weird about that at all. What is weird is how devoted you were to our church for most of your adult life
« Last Edit: May 06, 2018, 05:39:46 pm by jeromydaviddarling » Logged
G_Prince
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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2018, 09:33:44 am »



Suzanne said that my dad asked about her and her current boyfriend's sexual positions, but she didn't have a boyfriend when she met my dad and she and John did not have sex until they were married. Know how I know that? Because Suzanne used to tease John about their wedding night. See John was a virgin. And up until they first had sex he thought women got pregnant through their belly button. I actually always found that very endearing about John and his commitment to sexual Integrity before marriage. Anyone care to unravel this lie?



I got to say, that's a scary amount of detail to know about someone else's sex life. Was this common conversation around your house growing up? 
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Here's an easy way to find out if you're in a cult. If you find yourself asking the question, "am I in a cult?" the answer is yes. -Stephen Colbert
bourneforHim
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« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2018, 12:03:34 pm »

Really Jeromy?

 John thought women got pregnant thru their belly button?  John Van Dyke has an engineering degree.  I highly have a difficult time believing this statement.  

  Nor are they getting divorced as you have stated in another post.

  Furthermore, Jeromy, I have seen no gloating here.  Most people posting here, no matter which side they are on or neutral, are rather pained by this.  I understand this is a very emotional time for you and your family, but making lies and assumptions plus your intimidation and bully tactics do nothing good for you, your father, or Evergreen.

  John had little to say?  We don't know that.  Ever hear of editing and time constraints?? John is also a relatively quiet individual who I can imagine might not be the most comfortable on camera.
  Gosh, John didn't refer to Suzanne as his wife!  Once again, we don't know that.  Editing is possible.  That being said, I love my wife's name and often call her by that!!


  



  
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 06:43:21 pm by bourneforHim » Logged
Gary M. Miller
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« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2018, 01:18:46 pm »

Jeromy,

I had to have someone point out this note because I haven't been on this forum for at least 7 or 8 years.

A few things:

I haven't the slightest notion how you think I "blame [your] father for ruining your life and your marriage. I know you've abandoned your faith as well."
Make no mistake, Jeromy, there is NO ONE to blame for 'ruining' my marriage besides me. Not your father, not my wonderful ex-wife and no one else. I can't even begin to fathom how you got either of these notions since I have literally had no interaction with you for well over a decade. It is also news to me that I have 'Abandoned my faith'. I assure you, I cling to Christ. I know in GCM vernacular that when you leave a GCM church you are whispered to have 'abandoned your faith', but that is not the case. Careful, friend. Libel is a looked upon by the law as unfavorably as is sexual predation.

The fact of the matter, Jeromy, is that I adored your father. And I still have a fondness in my heart toward him. And contrary to him 'ruining' my marriage, he actually gave me several tools to improve my marriage. Now, to be clear, I also picked up some acutely misogynistic habits from Evergreen leadership, but I don't blame anyone else for my not being able to discern those things until my marriage was at an end.

All that being said, Jeromy, your father displayed a level of sociopathy with women unlike few men I've known. I hope time and reflection have changed that.

Again, I have no idea how my name got drug into this other than the fact I expressed solidarity with my former sister-in-law who has the highest level of credibility and character as does Natalie Hoffman and John van Dyck.

I would respectfully ask you retract your statements made about me above.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 02:11:06 pm by Gary M. Miller » Logged
Gary M. Miller
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« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2018, 01:44:50 pm »

And, Jeromy, I would be delighted to visit with you face-to-face. I seek to be at peace with all people. <3
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« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2018, 04:49:03 pm »


Jeromy, I do not think she said, "my current boyfriend" as she did not have a boyfriend...it was a past relationship that she was referring to.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 04:51:05 pm by searching » Logged
HughHoney
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« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2018, 05:31:11 pm »

Lastly, The Reckoning was only the appetizer - the main course is up next. Enjoy the wait...

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
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jeromydaviddarling
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« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2018, 07:24:46 pm »

Jeromy,

I had to have someone point out this note because I haven't been on this forum for at least 7 or 8 years.

A few things:

I haven't the slightest notion how you think I "blame [your] father for ruining your life and your marriage. I know you've abandoned your faith as well."
Make no mistake, Jeromy, there is NO ONE to blame for 'ruining' my marriage besides me. Not your father, not my wonderful ex-wife and no one else. I can't even begin to fathom how you got either of these notions since I have literally had no interaction with you for well over a decade. It is also news to me that I have 'Abandoned my faith'. I assure you, I cling to Christ. I know in GCM vernacular that when you leave a GCM church you are whispered to have 'abandoned your faith', but that is not the case. Careful, friend. Libel is a looked upon by the law as unfavorably as is sexual predation.

The fact of the matter, Jeromy, is that I adored your father. And I still have a fondness in my heart toward him. And contrary to him 'ruining' my marriage, he actually gave me several tools to improve my marriage. Now, to be clear, I also picked up some acutely misogynistic habits from Evergreen leadership, but I don't blame anyone else for my not being able to discern those things until my marriage was at an end.

All that being said, Jeromy, your father displayed a level of sociopathy with women unlike few men I've known. I hope time and reflection have changed that.

Again, I have no idea how my name got drug into this other than the fact I expressed solidarity with my former sister-in-law who has the highest level of credibility and character as does Natalie Hoffman and John van Dyck.

I would respectfully ask you retract your statements made about me above.

Doesn't feel great does it? Having someone say something about you online that isn't true. I'm well aware of what libel/defamation is. Suzanne has suggested multiple times that my dad is a pedophile - I don't think that's quite at the level of what I said to you Gary. Also, you technically just libeled him again in this post ("your father displayed a level of sociopathy with women unlike few men I've known"). So perhaps I can clarify why I said what I said:

1. While I'm actually very pleased to hear you're clinging to Christ, I have spent some time on your facebooks/twitter/blog/podcast and see no mention of Jesus Christ and certainly don't hear His words in yours. I think you could excuse me for thinking you weren't following Christ based on the outpouring of your heart on social media no?

2. No one ever told me why you and Jean left. I know you sent my dad an email in 2006 that he described as very angry, but he never read me the contents and I didn't ask him to. I have no doubt you were missed, but no one said a word to me about why you left. The reality is Gary, it's been your own words on this forum that betrayed you. Could it be that the same things you took responsibility for when your marriage ended were instrumental in your departure from Evergreen? You are the common denominator in both scenarios.

As for misogyny and sociopathy with women - I doubt anyone on this forum realizes this but no man has spent more time being discipled and mentored by my dad than me. It was his love and kindness towards my mother, the way he hugged and kissed her all the time, the way he apologized whenever he was wrong, his tenderness, his service with her years of persistent illness, the way he did laundry, ironed clothes, ran errands, lightened her load and ravished her with love that taught me how to love my own wife of 15 1/2 years. I wanted what my parents had, I wanted to love a woman the way my dad loved my mom - other than introducing us to Christ, this was the best thing he ever did for us. So how in the few years that you spent with him at Evergreen did you see such a different man? I was a "PK" (pastor's kid) and many kids like me grew up resenting their father for being a saint on stage but not a great dad/husband at home. My father must be the first man in history to be a saint at home and sociopath in public, but I digress.

Shoot me a note and I'll buy you dinner somewhere. I'm sick of this cyber-communication crap where tone is buried, as I'm sure you might also be
« Last Edit: May 05, 2018, 05:56:14 am by jeromydaviddarling » Logged
jeromydaviddarling
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« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2018, 07:28:03 pm »


Jeromy, I do not think she said, "my current boyfriend" as she did not have a boyfriend...it was a past relationship that she was referring to.

Well fortunately, the internet can tell us exactly what she said:

From Fox9.com
ďHe would ask me what kind of sexual positions I liked. What kind of sexual positions this guy I was dating liked."

No one phrases it like that unless they're referring to a CURRENT relationship
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searching
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« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2018, 07:33:38 pm »


Jeromy, I do not think she said, "my current boyfriend" as she did not have a boyfriend...it was a past relationship that she was referring to.

Well fortunately, the internet can tell us exactly what she said:

From Fox9.com
ďHe would ask me what kind of sexual positions I liked. What kind of sexual positions this guy I was dating liked."

No one phrases it like that unless they're referring to a CURRENT relationship

I guess you know everything, or at least in your mind you know everything  and what people mean. But, you are wrong. 
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 07:37:17 pm by searching » Logged
jeromydaviddarling
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« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2018, 07:39:56 pm »

Really Jeromy?

 John thought women got pregnant thru their belly button?  John Van Dyke has an engineering degree.  I highly have a difficult time believing this statement.  

  Nor are they getting divorced as you have stated in another post.

  Furthermore, Jeromy, I have seen no gloating here.  Most people posting here, no matter which side they are on or neutral, are rather pained by this.  I understand this is a very emotional time for you and your family, but making lies and assumptions plus your intimidation and bully tactics do nothing good for you, your father, or Evergreen.

  John had little to say?  We don't know that.  Ever hear of editing and time constraints?? John is also a relatively quiet individual who I can imagine might not be the most comfortable on camera.
  Gosh, John didn't refer to Suzanne as his wife!  Once again, we don't know that.  Editing is possible.  That being said, I love my wife's name and often call her by that!!


  



  

Oh friend - I NEVER said they were divorced.

And for the record, I knew John quite well - as a bold man of action - so if what you're saying about him is true and he's been too "shy" to defend his wife, than you're view of him is much worse than mine.
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Heidi
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« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2018, 11:35:58 pm »

Jeromy-  I have a lot of questions for you-

1.  Does the marital status of John and Suzanne change the facts of what Suzanne and the seven other victims are saying happened ?
Yes, John and Suzanne's marriage has struggled.  No they are not divorced.  Does that change the history of what happened? 

2.  Why is John van Dyck wiped out of the Evergreen History?
 Have you heard John's side of the story regarding the disunity that happened between your Dad and John?  Did you know that John did address concerns he had with your Dad, and the way he treated single women. John communicated to your Dad that his behavior had negatively influenced his wife. This was communicated to your Dad in 2001.  In a letter and and in counseling.  Did you know that John and Suzanne had more than one counseling session with Suzanne's counselor and your Dad, along with Mark Bowen being involved.
 
3.  Why did your Dad not follow through on professional counseling in 2001-2002?   Is Christian counseling a bad thing?

4.  Why is Greg Larson wiped out of the Evergreen History and the Rock History? Greg married you. Are you still friends? 

5.  Why did your Dad not talk in the interview and defend himself?

 6.  Why has he not made any public statements or written statements?
You have criticized John for not speaking up. Now you have criticized him for not saying enough, yet he did appear in the news report.  At least he said something.   

7.  Why do you say that you slept 20 feet from the family room in your basement? 
It was an "L" shaped layout.  You slept in the south west corner of the basement.  The fireplace and family room were in the North east corner of the basement.  From where you slept, you would not be able to see the fireplace room.

8.  How old were you in 1987-1988 ? 
Those are the years I babysat you and you sisters.  I did have talks alone with your Dad in the family room late at night.  The rest of your family was sleeping.  Nothing sexual happened in our talks- but it definitely caused me to have emotional bonds with your Dad.  He met needs for me that were not appropriate for a married man to have with a single woman.  At  the time it made me feel special.  It did not seem odd at the time.  Now it does.  I realized it was unhealthy in 2002. 

8.  Do you think I am lying?
I verified with a few people if they remember a fireplace and fire in the basement.  It was confirmed to me by five people.  One person even remembers having Renew meetings in your basement, with a fire going.

9. Favoritism- Would you admit that your Dad had favorite single women he cared about?  Julie Jones and Natalie.
  I remember before you were courting Gretchen, You visited the New Hope location . You told me how wonderful these two sisters were who attended the Rock.  Gena and Gretchen. You said they were kind of like Julie Jones and Natalie were.  Julie and Natelie were  favorites to your Dad then. Many other singles remember that they were favored by your Dad.

  Just a few questions I wondered if you would want to answer.
Sincerely- Heidi
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« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2018, 12:37:12 am »

You are awesome Heidi! Very much respect you. (I remember you and that you were a great nurse!) The Darling's point their *holy* fingers at you, the VanDyck's and don't see the log, the HUGE HUGE log in their eyes. Jeromy D cannot think in those terms. His father is innocent; the 7 women are ALL LIARS.
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Barb
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« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2018, 04:17:42 am »

Thank you for speaking up, Heidi. <3
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« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2018, 04:38:31 am »

Since no one on here likes to hear the other side of the story, I can tell you unequivocally that her ex-husband was a decent guy that I knew and loved for many years. He never abused her and she has systemically destroyed most of his life.

Lastly, The Reckoning was only the appetizer - the main course is up next. Enjoy the wait...

Jeromy - you DO NOT KNOW what happens behind closed doors.  Stating that Natalie's husband "never" abused her is not something you can say because you were not with them 24/7.  People can put on the facade to the world of being great, wonderful, caring, kind and loving, but behind closed doors be a completely different person.  Both my father and my ex-brother in law were perpetually and horrifically emotionally abusive to their wives (I know - I've been there and heard the profanities they sling and how they've systematically, emotionally berated their wives into submission).  Yet friends and even close family members have had a difficult time believing that because they have never seen that side of them.  But both those men have systematically destroyed their families.  You cannot state, unequivocally that something like this 'never' happened. 

And as for your "reckoning" I'm not sure a lot of people care (other than those that have followed you with the 'snap of your fingers').  With your ranting and raving you have lost a lot of credibility and probably done your father more harm than good.  And just for the record, I still attend an ECC church, I know your family, I know the VanDycks and I've been around for a long time.  I'm not some newby to ECC.  This is all so sad.
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Differentstrokes
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« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2018, 05:17:22 am »

I wonder how many women have been called liars about their husbands abuse because outside people couldn't see it, probably a lot....
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jeromydaviddarling
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« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2018, 06:02:56 am »

So the silence on this board is pretty deafening. 2 absolutely glaring lies from Suzanne and no one wants to take a crack at unraveling them huh? Quite a relief actually. Heidi, I'll answer your questions if you can provide any kind of clarity on Suzanne's lies.

Heidi, Barb - it's telling that you are able to find such common logical ground with Jason Stauffacher/blonde. This man has cyber-stalked me and my father for 10 years, impersonated both of us on Facebook and through some kind of email automation program has sent literally hundreds and hundreds of disgusting emails to us.

Watching - I know Natalie wasn't abused just from reading her blog. She's redefined "abuse" to include years of "subtle" spiritual abuse and never talks about her own failings. Maybe this will help: someone very special to me was physically abused by her husband for years - dragged across the floor, beaten, threatened with guns - she's a true survivor and a courageous hero. That's not Natalie's story - not even close. Reading her blog was enough to inform me that she wasn't living with a psychotic, violent, abusive husband and she's hurting real survivors of abuse by redefining what "abuse" means. It's a high crime in my book and deeply offensive.

But you and strokes are right - lots of people don't see abuse on the outside. Evil men can terrorize their families but appear quite normal in public. Unlike apparently my dad, who was I guess some kind of super creep/narcissist at church WHERE EVERYONE COULD SEE, but an amazing, loving, peaceful, kind, gentle, loving, funny, humble father away from the public eye.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2018, 06:15:59 am by jeromydaviddarling » Logged
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« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2018, 06:51:15 am »


Heidi, Barb - it's telling that you are able to find such common logical ground with Jason Stauffacher/blonde. This man has cyber-stalked me and my father for 10 years, impersonated both of us on Facebook and through some kind of email automation program has sent literally hundreds and hundreds of disgusting emails to us.


Jeromy, Iím not sure how or why you are connecting my praise of Heidi to Blonde. Quite honestly, it makes no sense whatsoever. I do not condone Blondeís behavior towards your family at all! If he has indeed sent all those emails, I find that disgusting and completely unacceptable. 

Blonde and his behavior have NOTHING to do with my praise of Heidiís courage to speak up.

Peace to you, brother.
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« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2018, 07:03:32 am »

Watching - I know Natalie wasn't abused just from reading her blog. She's redefined "abuse" to include years of "subtle" spiritual abuse and never talks about her own failings. Maybe this will help: someone very special to me was physically abused by her husband for years - dragged across the floor, beaten, threatened with guns - she's a true survivor and a courageous hero. That's not Natalie's story - not even close. Reading her blog was enough to inform me that she wasn't living with a psychotic, violent, abusive husband and she's hurting real survivors of abuse by redefining what "abuse" means. It's a high crime in my book and deeply offensive.

Jeromy - your friend has suffered PHYSICAL abuse.  And I'm so very sorry for what she's gone through.  There are women who have silently suffered EMOTIONAL abuse at the hands of those who are supposed to love them.  Emotional abuse can be very subtle, like the frog thrown into a bath of water.  Slowly the heat is turned up til the frog boils to death, not realizing what's happening to them. Emotional abuse is insidious often for the very reason that most people don't see it happening.  There are no physical wounds.  But there are deep emotional wounds that these women courageously try to hide because they have been so emotionally wounded that they begin to think it is ALL their fault.  And it can be difficult to explain. So please don't disregard the pain and the reality of those who have endured this type of abuse.  It happens probably more than we know.  And I do recognize that there are two sides to every story.  Natalie's.  Suzanne's.  Your father's.  We are all anxiously waiting for the truth to come out to explain both sides.
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« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2018, 07:25:46 am »

There is no way to reason with pride and arrogance.  Claiming you know who has been abused and who hasnít is ridiculous.  How many threats will you throw out.  How much will you attack the victimsí character.  The women arenít seeking money or compensation.  What would be another motive for coming forward and speaking out?  Your manipulative use of fear to stifle other people has worked for you in life up to this point.   But you wonít win.  This story isnít going away.  God hates sin.  Pride is a sin.  And no one cares about your appetizer or main course.  We are not hungry.  We want the lies to be exposed. 
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