Dear Walnut Creek's youth pastors ....

Wow, sounds like a step in the right direction at least! Wish they would have had some of that when I was there. Still, so many things can still be taken out of context and twisted. I still see postings from time to time on facebook and see people putting up verses regularly. I think of it as people trying to show others that they are being super-spiritual, like having quiet times in public places where you know other Christians will see you. I suppose I'm projecting my feelings here to some extent.

On the other hand, there is a redeeming quality in the fact that many people do read scripture there. For me, that is one thing I am very thankful of, my time alone with the Bible. In spite of myself and bad teachings, I was able to learn quite a bit from just reading the Bible. Eventually, I began to see inconsistencies and that helped me leave. I was back earlier this year and saw people reading in the coffee shops. I had a brief talk with one of them and felt a lot of pity for her. I prayed that she would see truth in scripture and be freed.

Another great thing since leaving that has helped me heal has been keeping in touch with former alums. Two people who were there right before I came have gone forward in ministry. One may be going to India as a missionary and the other is a national evangelism coordinator for a major denomination. I asked them if they were still in contact with any of the folks, and they said that they were shunned when they left. How sad, but yet God used it somehow.

I think that about myself. I am very sad about the controls I experienced there and feel as if I wasted a lot of time. Still, there were things from that which formed me into what I am today, and I am learning to accept that. I write because I want people to know that what happened to me and so many others was wrong, but also to give some hope to people who are looking around online.

Repent n believe - Maybe you could help me. Did you speak with leadership before leaving and try to bring things to their attention? I was accused of not reconciling things biblically. But I did speak to leaders and tell them what they were doing was wrong. I also told them what was wrong. The Pastor initially thanked me and told me that they were unaware of the problems. However, they also gave answers to make it sound like I was just seeing things. I felt really betrayed later when I spoke with a friend who told me they spoke with the same Pastors before leaving and that they also acted as if they had never heard these allegations before. Later I read the 'GCM Statement of Weakness' document online and realized I was part of something very wrong.

Keep telling them to repent and believe. Some of them will. They will repent, believe, and leave! I'm afraid that the powers that be will never repent en masse. The message must still be given, but as in the days of Jeremiah, it will most likely fall on deaf ears.