How do you explain your time in GC to others?

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[araignee19]

I have very recently gotten to the point where I feel able to talk about my time and experiences in GC. It's not something I am thrilled to talk about (I still feel a bit of confusion and a fair bit of guilt and shame for having been "duped"), but there are certain people I want to tell because I feel like it is very difficult for them to know me without knowing this part of my history. I am at a bit of a loss how to explain what happened, and slightly scared about what their response will be. I don't have any specific question, and I know everyone's past experiences, current situation, and the responses received will be different. But I'm curious what you have told people about your experiences and what types of responses you have received. Thanks!

[Ned_Flanders]

I have very recently gotten to the point where I feel able to talk about my time and experiences in GC. It's not something I am thrilled to talk about (I still feel a bit of confusion and a fair bit of guilt and shame for having been "duped"), but there are certain people I want to tell because I feel like it is very difficult for them to know me without knowing this part of my history. I am at a bit of a loss how to explain what happened, and slightly scared about what their response will be. I don't have any specific question, and I know everyone's past experiences, current situation, and the responses received will be different. But I'm curious what you have told people about your experiences and what types of responses you have received. Thanks!

Glad to hear you’ve reached the point of recovery to allow you to talk about the things that happened to you.  If you don’t mind some advice, I’d just like to share with you some steps that may help you to continue in your healing:

1) Consider talking to a professional counselor.  I believe in counseling (GCx didn’t, no surprise) and I recommend Christian counseling first.  I think it’s important to talk to someone who shares my faith in order to make a spiritual connection.  I recommend getting in touch with NewLife.com.  They are very good and they have a daily radio program and they take calls from people looking for answers to the situations going on in their lives.  They also have a network of local counselors and they can connect you with one in your area.

http://newlife.com/

2) Realize you’re not alone.  I’ve heard many stories about people who had to be counseled out of GCx.  As for your guilt feelings over being involved in that Church, take pride in the fact that you got out of it and you don’t have to go back there.  Normally I don’t like to get into comparisons but consider yourself blessed as opposed to the people who are still there, trapped in a very messed-up place.

3) Be careful in who you talk to about your experiences.  This is why professional counseling is the best thing.  Stay away from shame-based, judgmental people who will seek to put you down for something you can’t change- i.e., your past.  Surround yourself with healthy people who support you where you are.  

4) Think about why you chose GCx.  The counselor will very likely ask you to do this.  I’m not saying what happened to us at that Church was our fault because we got involved.  But I think for many of us, something in our lives- low self-esteem, fear and guilt, being out of touch with who we are and misconceptions of who God is- made that Church attractive to us in the first place.  I do believe the worst of GCx is a cult and cults prey on people with a poor self-image.  You may need to take a hard look at yourself- and that could get uncomfortable- on what kind of person you have been to get involved in a Church like GCx.

5) If you haven’t done it already, find a healthy Church.  Jesus is not the problem; GCx is.  No Church is perfect but I believe it is possible to find a fellowship that accepts you for who you are and respects your personal relationship with God.  Pray and He will help you find a good fellowship.  Christ is my light in a very dark world first, last and always.  

6) Remember that God wastes nothing.  I was so angry and hurt when I left GCx- really at myself because I felt I never stood up to the people who hurt me.  And I’ve seen other people on this board who grieve the time of their lives they wasted being involved in a shame-based, legalistic cult.  But I believe God will use that experience for some good thing in your life.
 
I hope something here can help you.  Happy Thanksgiving.
Ned

[Janet Easson Martin]

Dear Araignee19,

Just last week I was explaining to my small group (from church) about what I used to be involved in.  First I talked about "pits" Satan lures you into, and how you can't get out of them on your own (without God's help).  I went on:  False teaching, is one of them.  False Teaching is not like an anti-christ cult where Jesus, the son of God and also God in the flesh, is denied.  It is a church that preaches Jesus and even the cross, but oh so subtly IMPLIES something more is needed to be favored, recognized, or worthy enough to be used as his servant or minister.  As if there are man-made hoops that must be passed through, heavy burdens that must be carried.  Most importantly, men in these churches make up the hoops or burdens that must be performed so that they may lead rather than God.  Because they are men's rules, the hoops and burdens they invent keep changing as they cease to fit with the culture.  People become confused about how to please God.  They listen to the men so long, they don't know what God is really saying anymore.  Even God's own words have been distorted and twisted for personal gain; and so they find it hard to hear His Real Voice.  

I also said that it seems these False Teachers can be believers who have been deceived by their own selfish ambition and jealous passions.  They are proud and wordly (though outwardly may appear "spiritual"), pursuing "spiritual" greatness and fame rather than God himself.  They are often "gifted" in tongue and persuade many with many an empty argument.  They are harsh and abusive toward others though they may disguise it with soft smooth speech.

His words were smoother than butter, and softer than olive oil.  But hatred filled his heart, and he was ready to attack with a sword.
  _{Psalm 55:21}

The man-made rules or hoops give the people a false sense of spiritual confidence in themselves rather than God.  The weight of "the rules" becomes a BURDEN for the people in the church (although no one feels safe enough to admit or share this) and so the joy is lost.  They feel it's BECAUSE they are NOT SPIRITUAL ENOUGH.  So, what they have been taught they do:  MORE.  They try more this, more that, always hoping to get back their first joy, which actually is from a person not a DO MORE list.  They end up spinning down deeper into the pit.  People in these churches do not speak the TRUTH to each other (Oh, they may quote bible verses).  I mean they are not sincere toward each other due to their training (by example) on commending themselves.  As a result, they are too fearful or shamed to open up about real STRUGGLES they have.  I would venture to say that one of the biggest struggles is lack of reliance upon God and therefore a deficiency of Christ's joy.  Oh they can out-smile the best of them, but true joy from Christ produces LOVE.   Their boasting denies the very scripture they commend themselves to follow, and oh so subtly turns them away from the One they boast that they follow.            

Probably way more than you were asking for, but I pray it is helpful.  Satan constantly uses many schemes on us to get us away from PURE and SIMPLE devotion to Our Saviour so that we won't experience the surpassing and inexpressible JOY God has planned for us by following Him purely and sincerely.
Even though we as believers will still go to heaven, we'll take very little precious in with us if we MIX our devotion to Christ with devotion to men or men's praise; and if we complicate it with illusions of what the "devoted" life looks like or "holiness" itself looks like (rather than looking to Christ himself for this).  This is a faith war which we are invisibly fighting against Satan.  He uses many schemes to fool us and one of them is FALSE TEACHERSand their teaching.

Like someone said at my small group, it's not like we made a deliberate choice to be in a deceptive church. Satan had his eye on us and led us there.  He hates us and will stop at nothing to bring destruction to a believer, and our FAITH is like a big red target to him.  We are all duped by him in some way at some time.  But, the ones who will experience excruciating shame are these teachers themselves as they stand before God at the believer's judgement.  

Praying to be Aware of His Schemes,

Janet Easson Martin

[Linda]

Well said, Janet. Thank you.