Is your church doing these things?

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[AgathaL'Orange]

http://www.culthelp.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=280&Itemid=8

[AgathaL'Orange]

I don't know it this was unique to us, but my husband and I didn't even realize we were being "discipled".  We thought this one particular couple were friends.  That was one of the more"twisted" things in GCx for us.  They took friendship and made it partnerships, mentor/mentee, discipling, etc.  But the one kind of friendship it wasn't was the normal kind... the kind where you go to the movies or out to eat and don't feel pressure to be anyone but yourself.  This was a real shock to me as we thought people were our friends, then when small groups changed or new churches were started all of a sudden we had to make new friends at the same church.  I still was not able to see this.  It wasn't until someone told me specifically that her husband didn't want her doing things with one woman because there wasn't any fruit.  It made sense then why I was doing Bible studies with her... I was being mentored and had absolutely no clue.  I thought we were friends and that she was just exceptionally pious and never did any "friend" stuff.

[wounded]

My experience was very close to being in a cult. There were rules that were not spelled out in the Bible. There were pressures to conform and meetings, meetings, meetings. I tried explaining to a pastor where he was off in teaching, but I was seen as being divisive. It wasn't good.

My reason for commenting is because I read a book, entitled "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse". I felt sick to my stomach after I read it because so many things I experienced at my church lined up with the unhealthy things listed there.

My reason for posting isn't to damage anyone who is there. In fact, I only plan to post once. I ask for those who are looking to take a step out of your comfort zone and look into practices of abusive churches. I came to this site several years ago and my "leader" spun it to make it seem like the problems listed here were fabricated. Now that I am gone, I can see clearly that they were not. However, it was so hard for me to look into it because I didn't want to believe I was in a bad group.

I entitled this "close to a cult". The reason is because allegations often are made that it is a cult, but because it isn't, people draw the line and say "as long as it's not a cult, it's ok". I want to say that people can be in very abusive groups that control your life to unhealthy degrees. I would encourage people to know the practices of abusive groups. That's all.

http://www.batteredsheep.com/abusive.html

[MarthaH]

Insightful article, wounded

"Abusive churches are characterized by the manipulation of their members. Manipulation is the use of external forces to get others to do what someone else wants them to do. Here manipulation is used to get people to submit to the leadership of the church. The tactics of manipulation include the use of guilt, peer pressure, intimidation, and threats of divine judgment from God for disobedience. Often harsh discipline is carried out publicly to promote ridicule and humiliation.

Another tactic is the "shepherding" philosophy. As practiced in many abusive churches this philosophy requires every member to be personally accountable to another more experienced person. To this person, one must reveal all personal thoughts, feelings, and discuss future decisions. This personal information, is not used to help the member, but to control the member.

Another means of control is isolation. Abusive churches may cut off contact between a new member and his family, friends, and anyone else not associated with the church.

How different this style of leadership is from the leadership of Jesus, the Good Shepherd who lovingly, gently, humbly, and sacrificially leads His sheep."

http://www.batteredsheep.com/abusive.html