It’s a Marathon–Not a Sprint

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Genevieve]

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” –I Cor. 9: 24-25

Agatha asked me to write more about why I can’t read Paul’s Epistles anymore. Just looking through my Bible for that verse made me feel a little nauseous. I think it comes back to the ideas expressed in this verse, though (I hope) an exaggeration of its intent.

GCM does church like it’s the 100-yard dash, and everyone’s competing–and everyone’s keeping tabs. We all know about the meetings, conferences, and small groups. But more than that is spending hours in the dorms trying to evangelize and all the prep time (organizing, practicing, setting up, taking down) for college group outreach events. Then there’s teaching Sunday School, serving on committees, getting instruction and discipleship from others, and spending as much time as possible in the “Word” and prayer.

Is this for seasoned veterans? No, they hope new believers are trained in this way of doing church as quickly as possible. Basically, constant activity, even if that activity is reading your Bible and praying.

But, you know what? It’s never enough. They’re constantly striving, trying to get more people in the college group, more people in leadership, more church plants, more missions trips, more giving, more salvations, more prayer. Frankly, it’s exhausting.

They’re a utopian group looking to change (”revolutionize”) the world. They don’t have time to waste.

Paul has that passion. He writes with that intensity and clear black and white instructions. He’s telling them to go all out–to not let anyone or anything slow them down. But it’s that feeling of striving that I can’t deal with. I can’t read the Epistles without hearing a GCM sermon in the back of my mind.

I don’t know. I feel so confused sometimes about who God wants me to be and what He expects (yes, I read Purpose-Driven Life!). I know there must be another way of understanding these letters. It’s hard to see it, though, when they were repeatedly used to hammer the message in common GCM sermons on loyalty, commitment, submission, obedience, service, sexual purity, and zeal (run like you mean it!).

I hope Bertrand or Gene will post on what the Early Church was really like so I can start getting the skewed GCM vision of the early days of the church out of my head and read Paul’s letters as they were meant to be read.

I think reading the Narnia series last year was part of my healing process. Aslan loved (and received joy from) the Narnians not for what they did but for who they were. There were long periods when the country was happy and at peace and only a few moments when great strength or great courage was required.

I hope the same is true for us and God. I hope me being me makes Him happy and that when great things are required of me, I’ll be able to do them. I hope being normal is enough. I hope I have the strength to finish the race.

[AgathaL'Orange]

To see how this manifests itself directly through GCM teaching go to this link: http://www.graceforstate.org/faithwalkers.shtml

At this link you will find many sermons available for listening online. They are kind of long but illustrate what Genevieve is saying perfectly!

The two I found most relevant:
1. 12/28/04 The Great Commission Story by Martindale and Clark 16.3Mb

2. 12/29/04 Raising Up An Army by Tim Borseth 16.1Mb

If you didn’t grow up in GCM or were saved into GCM, these messages will stand out as something different from other evangelical groups. They directly speak to keeping people busy, at one point the speaker says that, “The greater gratitude someone feels towards you for what they were saved from, the more they will do whatever you ask.” I think the key here is that we need to be doing what God asks not GCM and the two are NOT interchangeable!

Thanks, Genevieve. This forum has been so incredibly helpful for me. I can’t believe how this stuff still affects me just under two years after we left. C.S. Lewis, I think, does speak to bravery in the Christian just about right. It is necessary and honorable, but not something you need to aim to use every day.

The four children spent far more time with their fingers buried in Aslan’s fur or speaking with Aslan than they did in battle. And when it was time for battle, they knew why they were fighting and had a quiet assurance that they were in the right place.

Your post was encouraging to me today, and I think I may just pull out some Lewis today.

[MamaD]

“The greater gratitude someone feels towards you for what they were saved from, the more they will do whatever you ask.”

A speaker said that referring to GCM leaders and not to GOD?

Astonishing!

And frightening.

[G_Prince]

GCM thinks it is running The Race but their race is the Iron Man, which only a few of the most in shape athletes in the world can even complete. It ridiculous for GCM to demand such spiritual activity and commitment from their members, and then to shame them with not completing The Race, when they fall short. I remember many such sermons centered on this topic; all attempting to garner more commitment to GCM. Running the race meant more time praying and reading the Bible, but it always ultimately translated into being more active in GCM. This is not at all what Paul was talking about. He didn’t say, “Run the race so that you can be hopelessly active in Great Commission Ministries.” In fact the only church activity Paul ever commands is meeting for the Eucharist, something GCM churches rarely do.
This is one of my major complaints with GCM. Often non seminary trained leaders, misinterpret the scriptures and turn it them into some obscure command relating to a topic selected for this weeks sermon. Paul’s letters are often taken literally, producing all kinds of inaccuracies since they were written nearly 2,000 years ago to a completely different society. It’s upsetting that GCM leaders don’t have seminary training to help them understand and interpret the word of God to their churches. It’s even more upsetting and tragic that people like us can’t read the New Testament without cringing.

[TerryD]

“I can’t read the Epistles without hearing a GCM sermon in the back of my mind.”

It has been said that madness doesn’t begin with a single bad idea, but with a single good idea isolated from all other ideas. The same could be said about Bible interpretation. We all know that any particular truth must be taught in its immediate context and in the context of all Scripture.

In Paul’s epistles, selective, unbalanced interpretation seems to come easy, but even Paul balances himself out. He is zealous and ambitious for the gospel but unimpressed with his own work, leaning on and resting in Christ alone. In this case he advocates a rather peaceful approach to life seemingly out of character with what we see him pursuing elsewhere, but of course, it’s not:

I Thess. 4:11-12 “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business an to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”

I do relate to your Epistle Anxiety but am determined to conquer it!

[Genevieve]

Terry D,
Thank you for pointing out that beautiful verse! It’s so helpful to see that in the Scriptures.

I was just listening to the history of GCM from a Faithwalkers conference (talk about glossing over the details!) and was struck anew at how often a radical life and faith was mentioned. They all talked about how going to a regular church and living a regular, quiet life wasn’t enough. They wanted to change the world.

So it’s so good to hear affirmation of the beauty and even usefulness (thinking in GCM terms) of a quiet life.

I’m going to get a new Bible in a different version to help this Epistles anxiety, as you put it.

Thank you!

[AgathaL'Orange]

Genevieve, here is a quote from Jim McCotter I found on the Summitview site.

“I’m out to be just like the apostle Paul. Frankly, I think, if any man or woman is not, they’re in sin.”

So the messages you got were messages from the beginning, and while Mr. McCotter might have changed his viewpoint (he may even regret this viewpoint) others retained it and have continued the message that we are all to be like Paul in our lives. When we are all gifted differently and are all simply different people.

[maranatha]

"But, you know what? It’s never enough. They’re constantly striving, trying to get more people in the college group, more people in leadership, more church plants, more missions trips, more giving, more salvations, more prayer. Frankly, it’s exhausting. "

GJones

[kellie]

I know this was posted some time ago, but I found this forum a few months ago and have just had a chance to read it. I found that I have something I wanted to add to the conversation, and hopefully some encouragement!!

I can completely relate to "Epistle Anxiety" (as it was termed). When I read the Bible before being involved with GCM, I was encouraged and or challenged/convicted. After being in GCM, many times I would feel guilty or even devastated when reading portions of scripture.

Some of the teachings of GCM seem to make sense, and they "seem right," but what are the motivations for those teachings and what is the fruit of those teachings?

When I was struggling with this, God brought this passage to mind:

Who is wise and understanding among you? Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy or selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be boastful and false to the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind.
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy . . James 3:13-17.

So, I had to ask myself, was I following these teachings out of deep love and gratitude to God, OR was I motivated out of fear or trying to constantly measure up or be "right with God"?

Just my thoughts on the issue. It has been so hard for me in the years following my departure to find out what was pleasing to God and to really internalize that I don't have to be constantly doing something.

Another thought. Someone said that Paul had that same kind of driveness that GCM seems to have. In a book called "Toxic Churches" (Marc. A Dupont-excellent book by the way), the author points out that Paul had a life changing encounter with God in which he was blind for 3 days, AND he had visions where he was caught up in heaven. He WAS driven, but look at the experiences he had. Also, we are not all called to be Paul. We each have different gifts and temperments.

I hope this was an encouragement to someone. Recovery takes time and it is okay to be in an in-between stage and still be trying to figure out who God wants you to be.

[Linda]

Interesting observations Kellie. Those verses in James have "stuck out" to my husband and me, as well. Especially "For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind." Not to judge anyone specifically (I'm merely making an observation), but it seems to me that a system that prides itself on appointing men who "lust" after leadership positions and are granted those positions by being "recognized", is a perfect set-up for the failures of that verse.

We're not supposed to do things to be seen by men. But in GC, you can't be a leader unless men in positions of power see you and like what they see. No one ever sees the wrongness of their system. It's like being "teacher's pet". Works well for the teacher (who gets apples every day and has someone to wash the chalk boards) and for the teacher's pet (who gets recognition and approval and better grades from the teacher), but the rest of the class sees through the foolishness and deception.

[BTDT]

Kellie, thanks so much for sharing that.  Like many ex-GCers, I know what you mean.  Reading the Word became like studying calculus to me -- like I was preparing for a test or something, rather than getting closer to a dear, loving Father.

I still struggle with feeling like I'm not pleasing God if I'm not "doing enough for Him". By God's patient grace, I'm changing, and purging out that old "performance gospel".  Our church is reading through "The Prodigal God" together, and it's amazing, and really helpful to me.  I highly recommend it to former GC'ers like me.  (Heck, I recommend it to *current* GC'ers, too!  )

BTDT

[MidnightRider]

Reading the Word became like studying calculus to me -- like I was preparing for a test or something, rather than getting closer to a dear, loving Father.

B,

Like studying calculus? Maybe you could explain some more. My GCx experience was nothing like that. Studying calculus requires time, hard thinking, trying to figure out what it means, practice, etc. I don't recall being encouraged to read the Bible like that in GCx.

It was more like getting psyched up to go to battle. Find the verse that makes you encouraged, fervent, excited, committed, or whatever. If you encounter a fellow GCxer during the day, you might be asked "What's your verse?"

[BTDT]

Instead of reading to get to know God better, and to deepen our relationship with Him, it was more like studying for a test.  We would study for the purpose of "getting a verse" (it could be a passage) that we could use much like you describe: to fire you up, or show you something you're doing wrong, or showing you how you "should" be.  Basically, to help you "fit the mold" better.  I felt like I had to "get something out of it", as we used to say; for me, that made it dry, and more stress-and-fear-based than love-for-God-based. I felt like I failed if I didn't get that smack-your-forehead experience.

Before GC, I read the Bible before going to bed most nights, and found it very encouraging and a very positive experience.  GC, or at least our version of it, put a lot of rules around it -- read it in the morning, must get something significant out of it, be ready to answer when others ask you about it, and so forth -- which pretty much ruined it for me, for a long time.  I'm getting to the point now where I enjoy reading the Bible again, but I'm still having trouble with the motivation -- still feels too much like a chore when I think about it. 

Before I started reading posts here several months ago, I thought my lack of desire for reading the Bible was a personal character flaw.  Once I realized I was not alone in that feeling, and saw where it was really coming from, I felt quite a sense of release. 

Reading these threads here has brought me a great amount of healing and release. Others can call me a "detractor" or "complainer" all they want.  My freedom is worth that price, and more.

[MidnightRider]

B,

OK, I understand what you are saying now. We had those "rules", too.  I can identify with what you said. 

[EverAStudent]

I felt like I had to "get something out of it", as we used to say; for me, that made it dry, and more stress-and-fear-based than love-for-God-based.

Exactly!  The emphasis was on going to Scripture to "get something out of it" in order to have something to share.  Years later I was reintroduced to the twin purposes of going to Scripture:  1) to find out what the original author intended to say, and 2) to increase my faith which comes by hearing the Word of Christ.

It is all but certain that the Word will be anything but dry and meaningless when one approaches it to learn what the original author intended to say instead of searching only for snipets that are meaningful "to me."  The "to me" part is entirely the wrong focus and emphasis.