Letter from a GCM staffer

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

You may read and post, but some features are restricted to registered members. Please consider registering to gain full access! Registration is free and only takes a few moments to complete.

[puff of purple smoke]

The following was written by a current staff member of a GCM church a few days ago. It was not specifically written to decommissioned, rather it was posted in a livejournal discussion. However, given that it was publically posted, seems to be intended to be read by anyone, is very relevant to several recent conversations, and the discussion it was posted in is dead (he probably didn’t realize this when he posted it), I am posting it here:
____________________________________________________
Posted by Anonymous on 2007-01-02 04:58 am UTC:
Hi. My name is Tim Courtois and I am on staff with GCM. I thought that as a CURRENT GCM staff member I could contribute something significant to the discussion…To start off, I want to critique the use of the word “cult” to describe religious groups. That word gets thrown around so much that it really has no meaning anymore - it’s just a pejorative term that people use to describe religious groups that they don’t like or that freak them out in some way. (”Fundamentalist” is another word like that nowadays.)Further, any church that follows what the Bible says will look “cult-like” from time to time. There are times where leaders have to put their foot down. There are also times where people have to be removed from fellowship. These and other behaviors are easy to criticize (and sometimes need to be criticized), but I think it’s best for us to do so using descriptive words that actually have a clear meaning rather than just name-calling.That being said, I strongly agree with a LOT of what was said on the GCMwarning website. Before even reading it, it was not hard for me to guess what I would see there. I still remember the first time I read the GCM apology paper and being shocked - because all of the weaknesses remained in my church to some extent.In my opinion, there are some MAJOR issues woven into the DNA of GCM as an organization. These issues go beyond the actions and words of GCM staff members and leaders. They are deeper heart issues that affect the way we teach and lead. These internal motivations come through even when the specific words that we use are without flaw. I know this because I MYSELF AM GUILTY OF ALMOST ALL OF THE WEAKNESSES LISTED on the website.I look back on how this has affected my life and ministry over the past 8 years and I am sad. I am sad because of the way I have pressured others and robbed them of the true grace and freedom that Christ intended for them. I am sad because much of what I have worked so hard for has been “chaff” that I think will not produce lasting fruit. Most of all I am sad because of the damage that these sinful attitudes and motivations have had on my own life.

I have been battling deeply with these issues for a long time. I think that many others are doing the same, though I am not satisfied with the extent to which these issues are PUBLICLY dealt with on a church or organizational level. I can say that I regularly have conversations with others in my church about these very issues. (Though again, I don’t think that the pastors and staff that I have spoken to see the issues as being as serious as I think they are.)

Despite all of this, I still work for GCM. I am glad and willing to work for GCM and I believe it is God’s will for me as well. I hope that you will pray for me and GCM to grow in these weaknesses. I appreciate sincere criticism - especially from fellow Christians. GCM is not evil, but GCM is weak, immature, and struggling.

[The Clone]

I find this very interesting and enlightning by Tim. I just wonder why he still is part of GCM if he still sees the weaknesses. That is just the question of the year, why so many stay even with all the issues.

I commend Tim. I did a quick Google search on Tim’s name and GCM and got his church’s website. He is a staff member, and not a pastor-kind. Here it is:

http://www.newlifechurcha2.org/a2project/team.htm

-The Clone

[puff of purple smoke]

I find this very interesting and enlightning by Tim. I just wonder why he still is part of GCM if he still sees the weaknesses. That is just the question of the year, why so many stay even with all the issues.

Perhaps he has just recently realized the extent of the problems, or maybe he is staying because he believes God will help him change things from the inside. He requested our prayers, and seems to want to stick around and try to change things, so all of us who seek reformation in GCM should try to remember him (and Nate and others) in our prayers.

[nateswinton]

Reading that letter made me want to get on my roof and scream, “SEE?! I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!”

I’ve never met or heard of this guy. But I’m definately encouraged by the letter.

[Adam Hirschhorn]

Congratulations to Tim Courtois. Thank you for recognizing errors in a public forum, because that is arguably the most important and seminal step. Thank you for your personal apology, which I believe is crucial to the recovery of anyone who may have been hurt within your sphere of influence. Thank you also very much for your suggestions as to ways to confront the issues. I’d also like to agree that in my small way, while I was unaware of the impact of what the 1991 apology described, or the apology itself, I too was part of the problem.



We who use the term “cult”, which Courtois considers to be merely perjorative, owe the fullest explanation possible as to the necessity, descriptiveness, and aptness of the word. I agree that it is a hard word to swallow. The word comes from “occult” which means hidden. Many of us have now come to understand the impact of all that was hidden within Great Commission: its history; its hurting members; a hidden utilitarian doctrine; and the deception, whether or not intended, of tactics like “bait and switch” and “love bombing”. When public interest groups attempt to understand groups with hidden histories, doctrines, and unfairly deceptive tactics, they often use the term “cult”. A church that resists such tendencies and functions “as a light on a hill” as Jesus intended escapes such perjorative. Following the Bible does not make a church cult-like.



The term “cult” also has meaning within the therapeutic community, and it appears in the The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) in reference to a disassociative personality disorder. This describes groups which practice “thought reform”. Some of us have issues resulting directly from how our disciplers within Great Commission practiced the biblical concept of correction. Is it possible that extensive and frequent correction can lead to a personality disorder? That’s what the APA suggests, and the term which they use for groups which practice “thought reform” is cult.



Finally, we who speak of Great Commission as a cult have expended our own efforts in our own ways in as proper channels as were understood to be available and effective, to little avail, and many of us were even actively marginalized. We thus use the term as a warning. We simply would hate to see unsuspecting folk join a “weak, immature, struggling church” when we feel there is much more to it, that there are many hidden factors to consider, that there are significant psychological risks. Plus some of us downright don’t like Great Commission. In our instances, yes, cult is perjorative.



But not merely a perjorative. We have escaped an organization that refuses to keep the same initials, nevermind cop to the terms “religion”, “denomination”, or “sect”. We are not responsible for your public relations–we are responsible for our healing. In order to talk about it, even to describe it to folks who don’t know about Great Commission, we must call it something. Cult is what we call it.



AH

[Angry]

[First line of comment removed by administrators for excessive profanity]

Tim was not able to obtain the weakness statement from his church. He had to go outside to obtain it. New Life strongly denies the existence of the weakness statement from ‘90 to its members.

PARENTS - DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO GET INVOLVED WITH THIS DANGEROUS MIND CONTROLING CULT!!!

Angry

[exshep]

Using expletives only weakens your case. Elaine Viets, former satirist for the Saint Louis Post-Dispatch wrote a piece on how to write the perfect hate letter. I still crack up when she writes about the college girl tearing her English professor to shreds in a vengeful letter. The professor corrected the letter for grammar, spelling, and punctuation, graded it with a C+ and the comment, “you may be right”.

I had an incident where I received a third hand triangulated complaint from a GC member that the church I attend is not a GC church, is dangerous, and I should worry about my salvation. Knowing the person, I can be exceptionally compassionate. If the person came forward and said “Shep, I appreciate your being in _______ church, but I have had some bad experiences I need to share”, I could buy that. I can leave open the possibility that there is something I need to know; after all denial is not a river in Egypt. The only skeleton I have found in the church closet was a costume a kid left behind from the Fall Harvest Festival. The impression, in retrospect, is that the person was operating from a position of cowardice. I heard a timely comment on a talk show how one in fear can paint himself into corner. It does remind me of the hecklers with campus preachers and conservative talk show hosts, when they run out of intellectual ammunition and resort to expletives and emotional venom.

If you can provide specific facts and figures, the readers would be interested. If you were genuinely mistreated, we are with you. It is hard to come forward; so I will go to great lengths not to be coercive. If you are up to it, let us know what happened. We will see what we can do.

I have had some honest discussions with pastors and leaders on the weaknesses of GC. Some are in serious denial. Others have been genuinely contrite about the past and desire changes for the better. I would not be in GC if there were not an ultimate sense of optimism. It is rare, but I believe there are avenues of repentance and healing. There are little pockets of recovery. I pray they take root. Obviously there is a long way to go. If it were not the case, the blog would not be here.

[Genevieve]

I find that letter more sad than encouraging. Things must be very painful and difficult for him right now, especially the part about believing most of his work has been the “chaff.” What a painful realization.

But, of course, the fact that he realized the errors is good, regardless of whether New Life changes. One person at a time, right?

[puff of purple smoke]

Angry, I removed your first remark, but kept the rest of your comment up. As is stated in the rules and faq, flaming and insults are not appropriate to the type of conversations we are trying to have here. You are welcome and encouraged to keep posting, but please maintain composure. Thank you.

[exshep]

Thanks, Puff. I think that was a wise decision.

I could be wrong. It will not be the first time nor the last. I have a feeling that was a sincere blog by the elder. If I were out of GC for only a few years, I would be seriously skeptical. I think the research and what he has read in the blog was a revelation to him. I tend to side with Adam. It is rather encouraging when there are inklings of concession. It gives me something to hang my hat.

[Genevieve]

Adam,
That was one of the most well-thought-out explanations for using the C word in relation to GC. I tend to say “kind of abusive” (I didn’t have a traumatic experience like you), but I can understand your choice.

I also think people use the C word to help themselves see that where there were was unhealthy. It’s such a strong word that it helps ex-GCers say “I shouldn’t have been treated that way. It wasn’t my fault,” which is where a lot of us need to start.

[Angry]

Puff said:
Angry, I removed your first remark, but kept the rest of your comment up.
Understandable. My comment should have read “New Life has room for improvement”. This PC stuff is getting to be too much.

ex-shep said:
I have a feeling that was a sincere blog by the elder.
Just a note - Tim is (was?) on staff but not an elder in A2. New Life still subscribes to the Deacon (& their wives) form of mngmt.

Tim, if you ever read this site, you’re a good bro, you really are. I am happy to hear that you are beginning to awaken to the events that are taking place over on Washtenaw. You already know my feelings on your involvement - you have so much potential - but you have to get away from the circle.

Angry

[exshep]

Thanks for the clarification. Greatly appreciated.

[exshep]

I was doing a daily bible reading when I ran across a curious scene. I decided to read John 11 in one sitting. What were oddly apropos were verses 45-48. Jesus had just raised Lazarus from the dead. Martha, Mary, and close by onlookers observed Jesus’ grief and compassion. Many came to put his faith in him as a result of the miracle. How did the Pharisees react? They were more concerned about how it was going to affect them and their relationship with the Roman government than how God was working in their lives. Because they felt they were losing ground, they sought to kill him.

Did I perchance stumble on the impression that GC is more concerned about how they look in their eyes rather than Lord’s? In the groups I came out of and GC, if one has constructive and supportive criticism which is not in line with the group’s mission, then it is essentially labeled as heresy. In GC parlance I am slanderer, divisive, and a gossip. In the bible school I left in 1984, I am disloyal to the institution; I do not have my eyes on Jesus, and should be handed over to Satan for the destruction of my flesh. Were the groups I alluded are concerned about following the Lord and the leading of the Holy Spirit or keeping their agenda intact? Are there avenues for repentance, healing, and reconciliation and fresh walk with the Lord or in 1980’s parlance of both groups, do we follow “We are the elders, you obey us, and how dare you touch the Lord’s anointed” Who is really in charge?

I have a friend who accuses me of slander and gossip. I have never received specifics. I have areas I will need to make amends. I know the complaints are genuine and not mere venom. Confidentiality issues preclude me from going to detail. I know the person well enough to know that the toughest thing that can be done is to have that member come forward to talk. It was for me. What is the worst that can happen? The Lord shows us where we have run aground, heals us and we are better for it. Of course this is simplistic. It is painful. It is hard work. Admitting one is powerless and his wrongs take a lot of work. It has been for me. Working through the issues has been rewarding too.

For reasons beyond me, the GC pastor, whose origins would put him back to the Blitz years, has stepped outside of the legalistic conventions of GC. I have borrowed the point made from the January 2005 sermon “What to do When God Say No”, “Sometimes God has a better idea”. Without a doubt, all credit given to anyone wanting move beyond the milieu which gets in the way. I am speaking in generalities. GC could be concerned how the church looks in the leaders’ eyes; however, like the Pharisees, they may blind to what God is doing. Should we maybe open to the latter? Raising a Lazarus, figuratively or literally, is an opportunity I would not want to miss.
oddly

[Adam Hirschhorn]

genevieve,



another good reason. thanks.

[ko]

I stumbled across this randomly and was suprised to see a letter from a dear friend of mine, Tim. I have known him for 7 years and I can say without doubt that for all the time that I have known him, God has used him to produce fruit in many people’s lives. That is what is amazing about God: he takes the messiest, most broken people (I think Saul/Paul is an excellent example) and uses them in spite of their weaknesses. Tim has shown me and many of my friends compassion to an amazing degree. And his love for his family and non-GCM friends is unquestionable. I am proud to be a member of New Life Church. It led me to meet Tim and others there who have loved me so dearly- a Christ-like example of love that includes all inside and outside of the church.

[Tim Courtois]

Hey, I’m the GCM staffer with the post at the top of this page (Tim Courtois)… I guess it started a whole lot of discussion.



First, I put my livejournal url up there because a lot of the posts are my thoughts about the Christian life that I’ve gone through as I’ve grown in some of the prototypical GCM weaknesses over the past year or two… many of you may find it interesting/helpful (though I don’t really post on it anymore).



Second… Thanks for the words KO. I love you. You are not chaff; you are GOLD, and I say that passionately.



To “Angry”: In comment #5 you said some things about me that are not true. I did not have to go to “outside means” to get the GCM apology paper. I received it from the GCM office when I did my first internship with GCM, in my second year of involvement in the church. And New Life Church absolutely does NOT deny the existence of the apology paper. That is just false. (Though it is true that there are many who do not know about the apology paper… I do wish that the story of our past/present weaknesses was a bigger part of the story that we tell to our church on Sundays and in our church culture, but at the same time I don’t expect them to hand out apology papers to everybody who walks through the door every Sunday…)



It was asked why I am still a part of GCM. Well… I grew up in a dysfunctional family; I live in a dysfunctional world; I have dysfunctional friends. I attend a dysfunctional church and work for a dysfunctional Christian organization.



My awareness of these weaknesses is not a new thing, as one of you suggested. Rather, my awareness has slowly grown over the years. And while I do hope to effect change “from within”, I do not by any means see myself as some savior who’s going to fix GCM. I think there are a lot of Christians who give up on church after church, and end up giving up on Church altogether. I think choosing a church is kind of like choosing a spouse… you have to decide for yourself not only how much dysfunction you’re willing to live with, but also which dysfunctions you’re willing to live with.



I see huge weaknesses in my church and in myself. These weaknesses have affected my life a lot. I don’t think all of my ministry efforts have been wasted, but a lot of them have. Yet, I know that God still works in GCM and in New Life Church. If God isn’t too proud to be there, then I’m not either.



“Angry” - you also suggested that I “have to get away from the circle”. I appreciate the input, and I have considered whether you may be right. I am currently living in Orlando (attending a GCM church there) while going to seminary. This has been a great opportunity for me to be exposed to a broader range of Christians and Christian perspectives. I have grown a lot. I have needed this for a long time” to “get away” and grow up a little in a different place.



Now I am almost done with my education, and there is a very strong chance that I will be returning to New Life Church. I am seeking God’s leading (and searching my own heart) on whether that is still the place for me. I do know that I feel more free than I have ever felt as a Christian.



Please note, however, that even now I am in a GCM church. I have found that the weaknesses and strengths here have a different flavor than the ones in Michigan, just as any church, family or culture differs from place to place. I share all of this to say that I think it is perfectly legitimate to say, “I simply can not be a member of such and such a church because of their particular weaknesses.” I myself might be making that decision in the next few months.



But Angry, I also think it’s important that you be careful not to slip into hypocrisy. It’s a fine line between pointing out the judgmentalness, and elitism of GCM (the way they have sometimes said “you shouldn’t go to THAT church because of their weaknesses”) and becoming judgmental and elitist yourself, telling people “you shouldn’t go to a GCM church because of their weaknesses”.



Further, I hope everyone who has been hurt by a GCM church can also look inside themselves and see how they too are guilty if they participated in the same sins. I can still be a part of GCM because I see how I myself am guilty of the same elitism, manipulation, etc. It would be very dangerous for me to say “they” do those things without admitting that I do them as well - if I didn’t, it wouldn’t have been able to lead me astray.



Again to Angry: I like that you have called yourself “Angry” in this forum. I think it is a good thing for you to be angry about the ways you have been hurt. One of the weaknesses I have seen in my church is a tendency to see all negative emotions as sin, and to act as if all reproof and correction should be done without passion or emotion. I think it’s important that we allow sin to affect us emotionally, to be angered by the way it hurts us. I don’t know what church you are from, but I am sorry for the way you have been hurt. I hope you now have healthy community that helps you to recover and heal. I hope that eventually you are able to forgive. I hope also that you are able to find some good in your experience with GCM. I think your feelings are legitimate, and I’m glad you’ve found a place where others feel the same way… I hope some of the people who initially led and influenced you have been able to acknowledge how their own weakness and brokenness has hurt you, just like a well-meaning parent who did not do a very good job.

[puff of purple smoke]

Thanks for posting, Tim. You seem to have a pretty balanced perspective, in not wanting to demonize GC, while still acknowledging the presence of serious error. While I think Angry gets out of line sometimes (and I’ve told him so on several occasions), I believe I would disagree with the following statement you made:

It’s a fine line between pointing out the judgmentalness, and elitism of GCM (the way they have sometimes said “you shouldn’t go to THAT church because of their weaknesses”) and becoming judgmental and elitist yourself, telling people “you shouldn’t go to a GCM church because of their weaknesses”.

I think if people are currently happy in their GC church, nobody should try to persuade them to leave. However, if a good friend of mine asked me if he would recommend the GCM church I previously attended, I would have to absolutely say no.

Under pastors who now run several GC churches across the state, I personally have witnessed a culture of leaders attempting to BE the “Holy Spirit” for people, and equating how well people went along with this attempt with how serious they were about God. This and many other problems were unlike anything I had ever experienced in a Christian church before. I had no idea people could exert their “spiritual authority” in such an unhealthy manner. When I finally saw the weaknesses paper (which I didn’t know existed until near the end of my time there) I was shocked. A 15-year old paper described to a ‘T’ almost everything I experienced firsthand in the modern movement. The elitism, the inappropriate response to criticism, the coercion, preferences being treated as commands, on and on and on.

I don’t believe the kinds of problems I saw in it were the result of a “typical Church’s problems.” I don’t believe the movement is healthy. Some say there are pockets of healthy portions of GC, but as far as I can tell the healthy churches have little power or no power to correct the unhealthy ones. I don’t see the problem correcting itself without some sort of intervention from those at the top. I have no problems telling someone I don’t think they should go to GC “because of their weaknesses.”

To quote from a past post:
I had been a part of several Christian churches before my GCM experience, and another since. None have had problems even close to as alarming as the GCM church I attended had. The “problems” a typical Christian church can have are things such as: a pastor saying something in a sermon he shouldn’t have and apologizing the next week, teenagers involved in sex/drugs but still going to church because their parents make them, one of the pastors having an affair on his wife and apologizing before the congregation and resigning. Things that happen even in a healthy church because we live in a fallen world. Churches deal with these problems and carry on. However, it is not common for churches to have the kinds of “problems” GCM has (I don’t need to list all of them, read some of the previous blog entries or http://gcmwarning.com.) Saying that every church has problems like GCM does is like saying every company has problems like Enron and WorldCom did. There are problems, and then there are PROBLEMS. If you believe every church is like GCM, you may never try to find a healthy church after your experience with an unhealthy one, and that would be truly tragic. They exist!

[Angry]

Tim,
This hurts. The crap I was put through is from my heart. When we were told about the Weakness Paper from sources outside NL, our jaws dropped. We did approach the staff and asked about it. We were in no uncertain terms told “there was discussion of a paper being written up, but it was never finished or published.”

We pushed and pushed, we were finally able to get a copy of the weakness paper from Columbus/Orlando - even that was difficult and was initially met with denial. JS came unglued when he found out we went over his head to get this information. We were asked to leave shortly after that.

God this hurts. Angry is going to curl up in a ball and cry and hope the world just goes away.

done

[Tim Courtois]

puff of purple smoke — I see your point, and I don’t wholly disagree. From what you’re saying, it sounds appropriate to me for you to give people your opinion about whether or not it’s a good idea to join a GC church. If I were to go back and rephrase what I said in my last post, I would say one crosses the line when one JUDGES another for being a part of a GC church (especially because the intensity of these issues varies from church to church).



If I haven’t said this clearly already, I want to say it now: I am truly sorry on behalf of GCM to all who have been and continue to be hurt by these issues. I am struggling very deeply to not continue the cycle in my own life. If it is possible, I do have a desire to also play my part in breaking this cycle in GCM as a whole.



Unfortunately, I know there are many in GCM who do not see it the way I do, and still think the weaknesses paper has nothing to do with where we are at today. I think those people are mistaken. For what it’s worth, I apologize for them as well. I know that a very painful part of healing from a wound is when the wound isn’t acknowledged. I wish I could change that for you.



Angry… My heart sank when I read your post. I did not realize you were from New Life, and I can’t comprehend why you were told what you were told… I am sorry. I… don’t know when you left; I hope things are better now than they were then. I am at a loss for words… Thankfully, I was not lied to about GCM’s past, but I’m shocked that you were - -



Do I know you? I won’t guess who you are out loud; I respect your desire to not say your name on here.



I’ll mention: I am in serious ongoing discussions RIGHT NOW with the pastors of my church about these issues. Know that I am approaching these discussions as one who takes these issues seriously… I don’t know how these discussions will end up. If you can find it in your heart, please do pray for me/us.