Parenting

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Cult Proof]

I am reading a book called Running on Empty by Jonice Webb PHD.  I am struck by how much the parenting taught in gcx follows the narcissistic and sociopath parenting.  I think young parents have the right to be warned about this. If you are a young parent who has been influenced by gcx please consider doing some research so you can make the best decisions for your kids.

[Huldah]

Cult Proof, thanks for the book recommendation. I checked to see whether my library has it, and they don't, but I'm on the waiting list to check out another book by the same author.

I was not a parent yet during my time at Solid Rock, but I was introduced to some very destructive parenting advice later at a Baptist church overseas. The pastor there was highly enthusiastic about the Ezzos and their "Growing Kids God's Way" series. Looking back, I think following the Ezzos' harsh and graceless methods was one of the worst mistakes of my life.

Recently I've been trying to figure out what the Bible really says about spanking. I suspect that what we've been taught may not be Biblical at all, but rather based on poor translations of Proverbs. I've been reading a PDF file called "And Thy Rod and Thy Staff They Comfort Me," by Samuel Martin. Disclaimer: I don't know Hebrew, I don't know anything about the author and his doctrinal orthodoxy (or lack thereof), and I haven't finished reading the article yet. However, the author makes some interesting arguments that spanking, as practiced by American Christians, is not Biblical. To summarize:

1. There are multiple words in ancient Hebrews for children at various stages of life. When it speaks of "beating a child with a rod," it's invariably talking about an older male child (nearly ready for marriage), and only for offenses that could lead to a ruined life or premature death.

2. There's no such thing in Proverbs as spanking on the bottom. Corporal punishment is carried out on the back of the individual, that is, above the waist (which would be inappropriate and probably dangerous for a very young child).

3. Corporal punishment for daughters is non-existant in the Bible. In some cases, the word for "child" is ambiguous and could refer either to a male or female, but wherever a specific word is used, it refers to sons. And never to very young sons.

4. There's no mention of corporal punishment in the New Testament. If it were essential to childrearing, as we've been taught, why is it never mentioned?

I find all of this very interesting. I'm still on the fence about accepting it, because I don't know the author's credentials or motivations. However, I do find the arguments compelling. If nothing else, they're worthy of consideration and further study.