Well, given that June has now come and went (at least as far as working days..I guess tomorrow is technically the last day of June) ECC may have to update their website message soon
http://www.evergreenchurch.com/update/If only they had just said "several dates" instead of "several dates in June", they could have left that puppy up forever
. In the spirit of helping out ECC, I thought I'd put a draft revised update message here for them to use if they like it - I release it of all copyright protection. If you have ideas, maybe suggest your own (note, ECC will likely just update the website by deleting the words "in June", so this may be a wasted effort to help, but, like birthday presents, it's the thought that counts).
Disclaimer: Not everyone reacts well to satire and not everyone will think this is a good example of it, and not everyone will think this is an appropriate topic for satire or humor of any kind. So read at your own risk. Happy 4th everyone!The investigation has been completed. The investigator's report has been delivered to the Board of Trustees (
otherwise known as they-who-must-not-be-named, a bit like Voldemort, except not as open and transparent because we actually do know Voldemort's name). The Board has reserved several (
more) dates stretching out to the 2nd coming (depending on your eschatology). The Board realizes it is possible that all impacted pastors may retire if the process takes long enough, thus sparing us from any hard decisions that may be required, but we are willing to accept that risk and we ask no more patience of you than we do ourselves.
In the meantime, we would ask you to pray for those men in powerful clergy positions who've been treated
unjustly and unfairly by members or former members of their congregation; it is an ever growing problem in the church as witnessed by what Paige Patterson & Bill Hybels have had to suffer through; we will be taking up a love offering for Paige and Bill in our Sunday service.
In order to prepare your hearts for this prayer endeavor, we invite you to our new sermon series "
Remember What Happened to those who Criticized Moses." We think it will help get your hearts in the exactly right place, if and when we ever have any decisions to share. We understand you may be struggling with this process; we would ask that you reach out to us so that we know
exactly who you are (each pastor has been asked to submit a list) and can ensure your struggles don't (inadvertently) lead anyone else astray, as we know you wouldn't want to disappoint our Savior in that way. We thank you for your prayers and patience in this challenging time.
