I'm thinking about giving up...

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[AgathaL'Orange]

I've been thinking lately about taking myself off De-comm.  I guess I just feel like they're not listening and no matter what I say... they won't listen. 

Since I can't change anything, should I just leave and give up?  Maybe try my hand at basket making or something? 

[puff of purple smoke]

They (GC leaders) may never listen, but there are current and potential GC members who listen. People who have questions who go online and find out their suspicions are confirmed. I think if changing GC leaders minds is your goal, though, you will find yourself frustrated.

[Linda]

Please don't go. While basket making sounds like a worthwhile endeavor, we would miss you here. Can't you do both?

I know it's frustrating and difficult to not know if anyone is being helped by the posts, but then I think back to 2005 when odd things started being said and done at our church and I Googled the words "Great Commission Churches and cults".

I still remember the feeling of horror that gripped my stomach when a handful of articles showed up from legitimate sources. I felt just sick and realized that the leaders that I thought were just "uneducated men" had really been purposefully deceiving me.

In the 10 years we were at our GC church, I had never heard the name Jim McCotter mentioned. It took a Google search. Unfortunately, at the time there was very little else about the history of the movement.

A year or so later, after we left and Terry blogged, we received letters from various people around the country who had also been Googling. Then, one Saturday morning, I received a comment on my blog from someone named "Agatha" telling me to check out a new website.

I believe you along with Bertrand, Gene, and Genevieve created a place where people with doubts could go to hear the other side--to find the information that GC leaders hide from their church members.

So, all that to say, I think your being here provides valuable insight and help and warning to those questioning GC. I hope you stay. Pretty please

[EverAStudent]

Agatha, you have the freedom to do whatever your spirit is leading you to do, in the Lord, of course.  No regrets for following the Lord, ever.

You (read that as YOU) will not change anyone's mind.  God's Holy Spirit is the convictor of men, not us.  We are the feet that carry His messages and the tongues that annouce His truths.  When these messages are heard, He works on the hearts and minds of men to accomplish His will.  You, me, we will not change anyone's minds, all we can do is go and tell.

Frankly, I took a break from the forum over a month ago, I think.  I was ill, and getting worse, and I was falling behind in my other obligations.  Also, I was becoming frustrated that GCx-ers and ex-GCx-ers seemed consumed in hearing about, and reading the writings of, past big name "leaders" while marginalizing those who were in the trenches, who at the time were trying to call out over the noise, "There is a problem here" but not being heard for their lack of a title.  Yet, here I am again because I feel there is more to the story that ought to be exposed to the light for the benefit of those still suffering delusion and enslavement to the elders-as-God's-mouthpiece error.  

Your path may be different from mine.  And, unlike most of us here, you already know your contribution has helped at least one person (i.e. Linda) by your efforts.  Whether you stay or go, thank you for having had the courage to tell the truth.  And if you do go, you can always return.  No regrets for following the Lord, ever.

[Angry]

Agatha,
If you feel like you're beating your head against a wall and nobody is listening, you may be due for a break.  Take some time off, find another interest, see what else is going on in the world for a little bit.

I found taking a step back and checking in here every once in awhile rather than daily was what I needed to do.

Everybody is different, so listen to your instinct.

Angry 

[MidnightRider]

I guess I just feel like they're not listening and no matter what I say... they won't listen. 

AgLO,

Who is the "they" who aren't listening?

[G_Prince]

Agatha,
If you feel like you're beating your head against a wall and nobody is listening, you may be due for a break.  Take some time off, find another interest, see what else is going on in the world for a little bit.

I found taking a step back and checking in here every once in awhile rather than daily was what I needed to do.

Everybody is different, so listen to your instinct.

Angry 

I second this excellent advice! It's spring. Get outside in the hammock with some Lemonade or a Margaretta forget about GCx for a while. They likely won't be going anywhere for a while; so don't let them ruin your week. Enjoy life!

[Agatha]

Thanks for all the love!

Through many various happening lately, I have been thrust back into some "floating" moments that are very disturbing to me.

Without going into too much detail (which might give me away), basically my life is kind of like the Stepford Wives being replayed again and again.  Basically, I keep meeting people that I think are normal, and then somehow the mask comes off and they are (I kid you not) a white supremacist, a southern sympathizer, a person who believes that women shouldn't vote...that girl's shouldn't go to college, etc etc.

And these are EACH a different person.  It's starting to be a running joke (albeit dark and scary) that I can't seem to stay away from the underbelly of Christianity.

So.  I think that's what's going on here.  Nothing new on the GCx front has really happened (other than the occasional bumping into them or the continued loss of real friends), but what is happening is that oppression seems to be all around me in the name of Christ, and I just can't take it any more.

On a positive note... my church is a good, safe place to be.  I just dropped out of a group lately and I got this message in response.

"Agatha, I truly understand.  Thank YOU for trying!  Take care.  (Penelope- not her real name)"

What a normal, guilt free response!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I think I know where my earlier post was coming from and why I'm feeling a need (across the board) to pack up, hit the road and get away from the weirdness.  I'm not really going anywhere though.  I don't know where to go.  Like I said, everywhere I go lately, the big mouth control freaks are there.

I've decided that the THEOLOGY at GC matters little to me.  Only the controlling behaviors.

If I hear the word "likeminded" again this week, I'm not responsible for what comes out of my mouth because I will go insane.  

I would be really happy if no one ever tried to put me in a box ever again.