What we wish they would say

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[AgathaL'Orange]

 I couldn't believe that I found this today.

http://retrofited.blogspot.com/2007/06/person-formerly-known-as-your-leader.html

[Jaunty Jackalope]

retrofited.blogspot.com/2009/05/families-and-toxic-churches.html is very accurate too - on the putting "church family" above "biological family."

This last new years was the first one I spent with my family since Faithwalkers started - I was always there, instead of with my blood family doing the new years thing we'd done for ages.

[puff of purple smoke]

Excellent blog post! The entire time I read it it seemed like the person could have come directly from GC, but then I realized that may not be the case at all. It's sad and interesting that abuse can look very similar even in different church systems.

[Linda]

Great links. I am particularly sensitive to the "church as your family" teaching. THE CHURCH IS NOT YOUR FAMILY. YOUR FAMILY IS YOUR FAMILY!

I remember listening to a Faithwalkers talk that encouraged college students to commit to GC for life even if it meant going against their parent's advice. It seems very unwise and profoundly dishonoring of parents for a leader to publicly suggest that students should go against their parent's advice. Big red flag.

I was also thinking about GC leaders who like to remind everyone of Hebrews 13:17 and how they should be "obeyed" in all things and was reminded of a Margaret Thatcher quote.

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."

[Fluffy Flower]

Faithwalkers and local GCM teachings repeatedly emphasized "your local church over everything else, including family" and "Be committed to your local church for life."

When I left to a different church, I ran into a pastor a month or two later, and he informed me that leaving the (local GCM) church was like a divorce.

Linked off the previous blog posts, I found the following: everynationexposed.blogspot.com

Warning: LONG read, and may be triggering.

It's a guy's journey through another ministry (Maranatha Ministries), but with a few names changed, it could be applying to GCM - the same "We're the ONLY true church," "totally committed for life," "Your life is the church's to do with as needs," etc.

Was there some book written in the 60s about how to create a cult-like "Christian" ministry for personal gain & influence, or something?

[lone gone]

The longer you live in this world with your eyes open and your mouth shut, the more you understand by simply observing what is going on around you.

Our modern sensibilities struggle against taking a long term view of things... .

we want change and we want it now
We want maturity and we want it now.
we want success and we want it now
we want freedom and we want it now
we want healing and we want it now
we want and want and want and we want it immediately.

Our ancestors knew that everything took time. Conditions changed slowly if ever.... until suddenly everything could seemlingly change overnight.... and they knew that too.

[puff of purple smoke]

It's a guy's journey through another ministry (Maranatha Ministries), but with a few names changed, it could be applying to GCM - the same "We're the ONLY true church," "totally committed for life," "Your life is the church's to do with as needs," etc.

Was there some book written in the 60s about how to create a cult-like "Christian" ministry for personal gain & influence, or something?

Maranatha Ministries was a part of the Shepherding Movement, just like GC. They do have a lot of similarities.

[Fool]

Great links. I am particularly sensitive to the "church as your family" teaching. THE CHURCH IS NOT YOUR FAMILY. YOUR FAMILY IS YOUR FAMILY!

What about those who don't have a family? Isn't that what the church is for? Everyone writing on these boards are full of bitterness, not God. I think He is totally offended. Love covers sin not complaining.

[anonymoustoday]

Dear Guest (which named himself/herself "fool"),

Welcome to the forum.

The GCx doctrine which you quoted Linda criticizing is more extreme than it appears.  GCx taught that the elders/pastors are effectively the husbands of everyone in the congregation.  All the congregation members have "married" the elders by joining the church.  In this way, the members must obey them as if they were literally their husbands.  Worse, to resign from the church is to commit the sin of divorcing the elders, which is also called committing the sin of adultery. 

Think that is overstating the GCx doctrine?  Keeping reading the forum.  Many of us were charged with the sin of "divorcing the church" by resigning.  Many were also charged with "committing spiritual adultery" for later joining non-GCx churches.

[Linda]

What about those who don't have a family? Isn't that what the church is for? Everyone writing on these boards are full of bitterness, not God. I think He is totally offended. Love covers sin not complaining.

First of all, fool, did you read the links that started this topic before you quoted me and commented? My comment was in response to those links.

The point of my comment (which, I wish to point out, you did not quote in its entirety) had nothing to do with the topic of people who do not have families. It had to do with high control men who assert themselves between parents and their children in the name of Christianity. I speak from personal experience.

While, sadly, there are those who are orphaned before adulthood (my husband being one of them), the Bible says a lot about parents. In fact, honoring your father and mother made God's top 10 list. I would not wish to be the leader standing before God and answering the question, "So, tell me, at HSLT, you told those kids to commit to GC and it's leaders for life. Those kids parents weren't in attendance and had no idea that you had their child make a commitment to your church and its elders for life, what do you have to say about that?" Hebrews 13:17 works both ways, leaders WILL give an account.

I'm wondering how you can possibly make judgments about "everyone writing on these boards". It seems to me that the charge of bitterness is rather slanderous. Tell me, why is it okay to judge the motives of people posting here, but it is not okay for people posting here to question the doctrine of GC?

[BTDT]

What about those who don't have a family? Isn't that what the church is for? Everyone writing on these boards are full of bitterness, not God. I think He is totally offended. Love covers sin not complaining.

Hello, Guest person (I cannot bring myself to call you "Fool", even though you signed your post that way)!

Perhaps you haven't experienced what I call "GC 1.0".  I pray that's true. I know it's hard to understand if you haven't been there, but please don't confuse hurt with bitterness.  Yes, I've seen a few posts that I thought showed some bitterness, but mostly I've seen brothers and sisters in Christ who are working through some deep hurts. That's not whining.

Neither my wife nor I have any relatives close by, and our church is indeed our family.  Thing is, our church doesn't have to go around preaching that they "should be our family".  They just are, because they love on us and we love on them.  It happens out of love, not compulsion.

I hope I haven't come across as harsh.  Not so long ago, I would have thought the same thing as you wrote. Now, I realize that I was taught, and believed wholeheartedly, some very foolish things.  But God is good, and faithful, and patient.