Which Kingdom? God's or GCx's?

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Janet Easson Martin]

WHICH KINGDOM?

God's or GCx's?

When I was a very new Christian, my mom gave me my first christian music.  The LP vinyl was The Painter by John Michael and Terry Talbot.  I adored it and so played it often.  The acoustic guitars and symphonic backgrounds were heavenly to me.  It reflected to me so much of the blossoming beauty of my new relationship with God.  The full melodies were overflowing just like my heart was. One song, Behold The Kingdom, was so real to me.  I remember it's chorus announced:  "Behold now the kingdom,  See with new eyes".

As I thought about those days and those lyrics I remember being excited about experiencing God's Kingdom. As long as I kept my focus on Jesus and his overwhelming forgiveness I experienced his presence, his peace, His Kingdom.  This peace I think, more than anything, made an impact on those around me.  

But, gradually another kingdom seemed to creep in and overshadow it - the kingdom of GCx.  I found myself becoming very concerned about what the leaders and people of GCx thought of me more than God.  I felt somewhat "watched" and was actually "reproved" for little things that often were innocent differences in personality, style preferences, or family relationships.  From that point on until I left GCx I constantly felt self-conscious about nearly everything I did there.  I erroneously learned that my dignity and value depended upon making a good impression by imitating someone held up as their image of godliness, which meant following the "rules" of their little kingdom.

As this pretending to be like them grew more stressful, the desire to throw in the towel on the christian life was often a temptation.  If only I had known that the kingdom of GCx did not represent the Kingdom of God as it so ardently boasted to us.  I could have stopped all the silly imitation games, could have come out from the ridiculous isolation, and taken off the blinders they so audaciously placed upon our eyes.  I would then be able to see with the new eyes of the Spirit the marvelous acceptance, freedom, and beauty of the REAL Kingdom of God.