A Direct Letter to Mrs Darling. Wife of Mark Darling.

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

You may read and post, but some features are restricted to registered members. Please consider registering to gain full access! Registration is free and only takes a few moments to complete.

[elcharro43]

DEAR MRS DARLING,

I just joined this group to write you the following. You will probably never be aware of it, but I hope some way and somehow you might read it.

Once upon a time I was an Evergreen Member. I met my former husband there. We had a fairytale courtship, wedding and beautiful baby girl. I listened to your spouses’ series “How to Choose a Mate” the entire time I was dating the much respected fun educated man I married. We were in ministry and led a few marital groups together and I worked for the church in the 90s. I so loved the man I married. To this day I still love the person I thought him to be.

Fast forward 17 years. I’ve divorced this person who was my husband. In his place the man I adored and married was a false illusion. In reality he had a double life of pornography, chat lines, strippers, etc.

I am sorry your life is so hard right now. Nine years on I’m no longer pleading for death and overdosing on any narcotic I can get my hands on.  Last week I had a three hour panic attack and the next day a two hour one at work.  The trigger of it? Finding out we know mutual people and that he’s at an Evergreen Church type church heading a men’s group.

 I have had to distance myself from past dear friends we had during our marriage because the memories are still so raw. I take five antidepressants now for clinical depression. I don’t date and the two I’ve considered in the last nine years both were sexual predators and trying to cheat on their fiancée or wife.


 I have a dream job that most days doesn’t feel like work.  And my daughter just graduated college having had a full tuition scholarship to study piano performance from a known music school.
After leaving I went back to school and got a job in my first love, medicine.  My siblings helped me tremendously in this. They thought soo highly of my former spouse. My sister I’m closest with remarked that I guess we never knew who he was. That, “ I don’t know him. “



Mrs Darling, you and I as wives of these type of men know even more secrets and suspicions then anyone else would know or even care to guess.  We’ve kept their secrets for years. We’ve stayed with them le”tting ourselves be cheated on emotionally at the very least, and devastated by repeat “DISCOVERY DAYS” we have when we can catch them acting out. The father of my daughter has an addiction that risked his job constantly. Was he laid off both times? Or was he fired for the porn he downloaded on his computer?.... the same scenario of downloading porn onto my Evegreen Computer was the very first DISCOVERY DAY.

I obviously don’t know where you are in the process of this tragedy that’s happened. You may never have entertained even a brief thought questioning if the accusations are correct.

Please take what I am about to say as the heart of my message....


YOU DIDNT CAUSE THIS
YOU CANNOT CURE THIS
YOU CANNOT CONTROL THIS........and by THIS I mean Mark’s form/s of sex addiction.

You cannot avoid or go around what you need to do.


You have to go through the process of ending this relationship
And you need to do it now rather than later.

He’s humiliated your family, betrayed you, and ruined  his reputation and livelihood .
There are multiple intelligent women with identical experiences. Don’t continue to be his biggest victim of all.


DONT LET HIM RUIN YOUR Grandchildren’ Lives. Right now for lack of a better comparison he reminds of  Bernie Madoff. I fear your children will figure it out and alienate themselves from you for staying. That’s what happened to Mrs Ruth Madoff until she finally realized she missed her grandchildren and stopped contact with her husband.

This was written in love and respect for you but also with my utmost honesty and transparency I can muster. I think Ieromy is his next biggest victim after you. As a family man he will eventually see the kind of family man his dad is not.

Heal yourself so you can enjoy the good clean blessings of life and forget the very mentally ill man who has sociopathy, narcissism and sex addiction in spades.

I worked in his stratosphere and I saw and heard things firsthand

[Janet Easson Martin]

Elcharro43,

I am SO sorry for the tragic disappointment and hurt you have suffered in your marriage.  I cannot imagine the grief and pain you have carried. 

I heard of more than one spouse in GCx who was an illusion which was revealed in the real life of marriage.  The GCx environment created a culture of “fakeness”.  People pretending to be what they thought the leaders would approve of rather than who they naturally were.  So, we really didn’t get to know the real people themselves.  So, you are likely not alone in your painful discoveries. 

I am very glad you are in a better place today.

[Huldah]

Elcharro43, what a devastating experience you've had. I can't even imagine how painful it has been, and continues to be. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope it will give comfort and strength  to Mark's wife and to others who read it, including those who may read here without ever posting.