Adam Hirschhorn's introduction

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[Adam Hirschhorn]

So I ran away from a cult. Not to say that GC is really, officially a cult, but at the time, self-preservation is kicking in and I’m thinking its better to overreact than acquiesce. So I was homeless and practically living at the Alley Cat which started to become common knowledge. Pastor Tom Brown, the regional director’s son-in-law, sidles me one night in his sedan and tells me to get in the car.



He didn’t offer me candy, so obviously I said no.



So he parks and gets out we have this conversation, the blow-off of which is “seems like you have some issues with Pastor John and he’d like to resolve that with you as your brother in Christ”. Mind you, Tom would go no further than the top of the stairs in the Alley Cat. Like he did want to be seen in that very public place. So we waited in the alley. And lo and behold John Meyer shows up and we have this conversation, which comes to have much more impersonal tone than was represented. John is standing there in the dark alley with Tom specifically for the purpose of pressuring me to withdraw my testimony from gcmwarning.com.



I told John, no way, there is something very evil going on at our church and I am going to get to the bottom of it. But John takes it personal, and starts going off about how he’s seen lots of people come and go and he’s “still here”. Still here in the Alley between College and Mason??? OK, John-O I said it then and I’ll say it again. I’m not going away.



Sometime shortly thereafter Tom’s father-in-law Rick Whitney sent the Loveland Pastor a case of books on church loyalty to distribute after his sermon on how gcmwarning.com was the slander of a single angry person. How beautiful in irony.



So if my tone belies an opinion that GC consists of naught but thugs and their cowed subjects, then you are reading me correctly. That’s one reason I’m using my real name–you can’t bully me anymore. I’ve also at times been more inclined to see the good that came of the experience. I reject that previous assessment. It seems to be a faulty attempt to justify doing something very stupid, namely getting involved with The Rock and Summitview West Community Church. Those few friendships we’ve managed to salvage from the ashes of ex-communication are a credit not to the church but to our own resourcefulness–and maybe to God. It’s an interesting idea that we might be able to just ask Him ourselves rather than rely on leadership to fill in the answers to the questions. If there is a God, it is rather refreshing to think than he can salvage and redeem such a hideous misadventure.

[MamaD]

Wow.

Just to clarify, this happened after you had left your church (not that being confronted in an alley would be any better if it had happened while you were still attending).

Also, is your testimony still on gcmwarning?

I think I listened to the talk where the loyalty booklets were handed out. People were told not to go to gcmwarning because it was slander. I think the actual terms used were it’s “silly” and it’s “poison”.

Silly poison.

[sistanchrist]

Adam,

I know you are hurt, but easy on the name throwing. Singeling out hurtful people is not the best idea. I am not sure that the name dropping approach will do anything more then hurt them, creating more pain for you in the long run as things could get uglier by increasing the emotion in everything that is involved in your story. That does stink that this happened to you. I am sorry and it floors me that they would do that, even after all of these stories shared here. I thank you for your courage in all that you have done in GCMwarning.com and for getting me to engage in this area, but yet again I feel the need to say careful and caution.

[Adam Hirschhorn]

Sista sorry if words like “thugs” offends and sorry if naming the people who wanted their pushy behavior kept secret in that dark alleyway is somehow inappropriate. I however think the truth is just the thing, including my assessment of what their behavior meant to me. If this was a court of law I would speak thusly. If I get a chance to formally tell my story before my Maker I will definitely be naming names.



I have kept no anonymity for myself either, so fair is fair. I have also consulted with those fellows through email in attempt to interpret those events in some other way that might also make sense to me. Having run my story by them first, I find absolutely nothing objectionable about telling the world how I feel about GC or the actions of its constituent leaders.



Now that’s accountability. If you’re going to try to coerce a homeless refugee of your church, you’d best take into consideration that they could talk about it. Imagine! Who would have the gall?! They would have done much better offering aid instead, but that would involve placing the interest of another over one’s public image. So much for Christ’s example being manifest through action.



But, hey, I’m fine now. Thanks for asking :\



AH

[Adam Hirschhorn]

mamad,



you read correctly. I am not sure if my testimony is still at gcmwarning. I have not requested it be taken down, but I know a lot of people have their own stories to tell and that the admin keeps it concise so people aren’t inundated with too much info. It is a lot to wade through.

[sistanchrist]

Adam,
i had a knee jerk reaction to seeing names of people who I am still hoping and praying will change, some of which at least in my story have made some awkward attempts to apologize some, albeit with the intent of getting me to come back. Some of the people mentioned are the people that the about section stating that people are trying to preserve friendships with for the sake of change could be concerning. I didn’t ask where you were at now, as I know that things are better. So I am sorry if that offended you. Yes it at times is hard in an anonymous forum to say things that need to be said. Please take this as a public apology at the risk of loosing a great deal of my anonymous nature in this forum.

[Adam Hirschhorn]

“I don’t know you! That’s my purse!” (Bobby Hill)



OK Maybe I get a little carried away. Things are what they are–I don’t know if better is always how I would describe them. Things are different. After struggling in all kinds of ways to remember who I am, I’m now struggling to figure out where I fit again. Can I regain a sense of independence? Do I have true peers? Can I overcome the intellectual underachievement that has plagued so many on my path before me? That is the territory now. To say that I am better is to negate the ground I’ve lost. It will be awhile before I can get back to tackling the problems and issues I had before I came to GC in the first place.



On the other hand, I’m not homeless. I am (marginally) employed. I do have (weird) relationships in my life. Some people even light up when they see me and give me hugs. These are the things that get me by so I will not be checking out presently. Things could be worse.

[Adam Hirschhorn]

mamad,



Getting back to you… There are specifically two concerns of mine listed on the gcmwarning site:



“Being called aside is a very regular thing within the church. It could have to do with anything: having a public conversation with a member of the opposite sex, questioning procedure or policy, or positions on doctrine. It is by and large an attempt to shame the person in violation of norms into submission or humiliation. It is very rare that a person is called aside for a scriptural sin by the person who felt sinned against. This is usually handled by leadership or another person instead.”

- Former GCM Member (left 2006)



“I still have a copy of the pamphlet [GCM Pastor] penned and distributed. It is a step-by-step assertion of how God’s plan for our relational lives is to give up dating. It uses scripture in a leading way to encourage non-dating while giving caveats at the end about “becoming legalistic”. It became legalistic. Those who wished to spend time alone with a member of the opposite sex for any reason needed a very good explanation for doing so, or did so secretively. All complaints about the legalism of this culture were explained away apologisticly or dismissed outright.”

- Former GCM Member (2006)

[exshep]

wow, now that is a switch. In the 80’s, it get women married off. Your description of the phamplet does make sense. Even though I am married and wedding ring to prove it, the sisters in one college fellowship are very standoffish. I cannot say hello to them at all. The married women are easy going and I can chat with them. I guess the heat is off.

I can understand the anger you are processing. I went through it myself. I can empathize. Keep in mind recovery is a process, not an event. I can remember an article from the Des Moines Register of the Ames church in the 80’s. The former member felt like she had been “spiritually raped”. That is a lot to process. If you need to vent privately, feel free to email me.

familiadegatos@hotmail.com

[Adam Hirschhorn]

ex-shep,



It’s interesting that you should mention the spiritual rape reference. Do you know what Take Back the Night is? Sorry, I’m not big on private chat at this time.



AH

[MamaD]

Here is an interesting link that picks up on that image. I hope it works, I don’t know how to get the long links to fit.

http://www.christianrecovery.com/vb/showthread.php?s=f2a60da92a6f37c076cce258aaaf3653&t=5855

[exshep]

I sure do. I have a long talk with a women who came out of what is now the international churches of Christ. Same issues. How GC and the ICOC never merged is a mystery to me.

I had the use the spiritual rape analogy with my mother so I could borrow money for train fare to a support group meeting. Tough little affair, recovery is.

Do not feel pressured into a private chat in the slightest. The offer was extended if you needed it; otherwise, no worries.

[exshep]

Here is an interesting link that picks up on that image. I hope it works, I don’t know how to get the long links to fit.

http://www.christianrecovery.com/vb/showthread.php?s=f2a60da92a6f37c076cce258aaaf3653&t=5855

I have been posting on that forum for four years with the same handle. I read the post. It is a good read.

The forum is especially good for those who may have been out of their groups within the past three years or has been out for some time and still is problems adjusting to post-group life.

http://www.christianrecovery.com/vb/showthread.php?t=5819

The above link was posted as an introduction to any off the blog who was interested. Take what you like and leave the rest. It is there is anyone is interested or feels it might be helpful.

[exshep]

“still is problems adjusting to post-group life.” should read “still have” It is hoped if come clean at once, I would be spared the hundred times on the black board routine.

[In Paradise]

ex-shep wrote:

I have a long talk with a women who came out of what is now the international churches of Christ. Same issues. How GC and the ICOC never merged is a mystery to me.

I was a member of an ICOC church, and thinking about it, the dating principles of the two groups were similiar.  My experience with ICOC was much more legalistic than my time with GCC.

[theresearchpersona]

So Adam, YOU are the one they claimed put-up the site because of anger? Way to go!

Now I don't know the circumstances...who's right/wrong in this or that situation...but I know about the other stuff going on. I wondered how they figured too...given the site is registered in such a way to prevent whois look-ups so that they cannot trace it. Thanks for the openess.

[P.S. I realize this is an archived post...just hoping Mr. H. might see this sometime.]

[Daisy]

I don't think Adam is who the pastors were talking about.

[Linda]

Interesting this should come up today.

This morning I listened to a snippet of that message. Hadn't done that for a while. The information control is staggering and logic is missing altogether. But, in spite of that I'm sure it was believable to those listening.

Never mind that someone (perhaps an imaginary someone!) was slandered. (To say we don't know who started gcmwarning, but it was someone who was caught in sin, was confronted, didn't repent, and now is angry and hurt--now that is slander, if you don't know who started it, how can you say it was an unrepentant sinner!)

Also, if you go to the Steven Martin link that I put in the links topic (Paul's brother) and read chapter 2 of his online book, after listening to the Summitview sermon, you will find that talk is pretty much in the information control play book. Unfortunately, I don't think the Summitview sermon is available online anymore, but I believe that a little bit of it was quoted last winter when Steve Nelson was posting here.

It is so sad to me that people are being deceived into thinking they can't hear all sides of the story and trust the Holy Spirit to guide them into the Truth. I believe there are some false teachers in leadership, but also, some really "sensitive" people who are trying to do what's right and are therefore limiting the information they will hear because a leader tells them not to go there. So the cycle of deception continues.