Beauty in disabled people (mompom's story)

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[Angry]

mompom -

You did not ramble at all. You spoke it very well and we have witnessed the same “picking and choosing” of recruits when we were still in the cult. GC* strives for that certain “look”, and if you don’t have it, you will (perhaps luckily) not become a project.

My thoughts are with your son and yourself - and definitely with your “distant” Church that stood by your side when times were tough.

We all step forward to one degree or another to bash GC*. Here is a great opportunity to praise a group for their good work - Do you care to share their name or affiliation? It should be most welcome here to point out a good Church when one is found.

Angry

[mompom]

I would, but it would identify me. And I just am not ready for that yet. But the thing is, those people know who they are. They are an independent non-denominational church that has affiliations with New Tribes Missions, Send, Campus Crusade, Dallas Theological Seminary, Navigators, and numerous other mainstream Christian organizations. They are a country church in a very economically depressed part of the state (Iowa) and they send about 100 kids and adults on short term mission trips every summer (and have for over twenty years) to places like Papua New Guinea, Peru, Trinidad, the Virgin Islands, Poland, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Canada, the Appalachian Mountains, Navajo Indian Reservation, Haiti, India, Ireland, and numerous other countries.



This is the old fashioned kind of church where Grandmas attend and knit during Sunday night church. They have or have had in the past church fellowships, men’s hunting groups, birdwatching groups, a hearing impaired ministry with interpreters (kids even learn sign language to go with songs occasionally so they can communicate with the hearing impaired), divorce support groups… all kinds of groups to meet the needs. This church has had some problems recently because people have come in and tried to make it more seeker sensitive and hip…. AAARRRGH the bane of my existence! But this church is just a regular old fashioned evangelical church…



and funny how in this tiny little country town they’ve managed to be a beacon of light to the world. And they refused to disciple me when I asked for it. They didn’t think it was necessary… Funny, eh? And somehow without discipleship programs, there are missionaries in China, Africa, and all around the world that came from this church. Not to mention numerous pastors and youth pastors that have spread all around America.



My point is, this church chose instead of church planting with newer believers as the leaders… they chose to do church really well right where they were. They became a sending congregation to the extreme. And the impact has been seen all over from one tiny little church that didn’t ignore the disabled, they didn’t force people to date only one way, they didn’t have a program of discipleship, and they didn’t try to be hip, relevant and cool. They just preached the word of God and welcomed everybody sincerely and without affectation.



And darn it, they ministered to my soul, that I know by having the celebration for my son. And in that way I believe they gave Christ that cup of water He asked for.

[Brian Hagerman]

Mompom



Your follow-up is fine just as it is.



I hope that I am not the negative person you describe. When we have had people leave our church, it saddens me. When marriages are out of whack, or kids get into trouble, or people are simply hurting, I wish I could do more than just love and pray.



Being a church that intentially invites the physically or mentally wounded is a noble and loving idea (your idea of a disability ministry). I’ll be real honest in saying that it would be hard, hard work. The average church in America has fewer than 100 members (according to Barna). Caring for a couple of handicapped kids among that group because you love them and their families is the stuff we should do for each other. But having dozens of kids to care for … it blows my mind to think of the sacrificial love and focus that would need to exist. Frankly, that’s probably why parachurch orgs exist — to take on the challenges that might overwhelm the budget, manpower, and strength of a single local church.



Back to your other points. I agree that churches within an association/denomination share some common characteristics — that’s what binds them together. Some characteristics are really good, some not so hot. If any one group were perfect, I suppose we would only have one group, instead of the thousands of Christian denominations that exist.



In my limited experience, GCA churches operate with great independence. I acknowledge that many bloggers here disagree with that statement. In my local church, my responsibility is to love like Christ, to live like Christ, and to lead others to Christ (including discipleship). I will fail more than I succeed, because I am not Christ. I am optimistic that the majority of people attending my church feel the same way. I am optimistic that most people in GCA churches feel the same way. I am optimistic that most people pastoring/leading GCA churches feel the same way.



Blesings to you.

[Angry]

mompom -

After leaving GC*, we checked out several possible Churches to call home. We have also noticed a pattern of the most supportive churches being located in fiscally challenged (is that the right PC term?) areas.

It seems like as one removes money from a parrish, the parrish stays more true to it’s root as being a house of support and worship to individuals, rather than music / show places.

Sam also alluded to this tendency of money impairing a church’s theology.

Thank you for the input - I greatly appreciate your insight. You sound like a great Mom.

Angry

[nateswinton]

Angry,

That’s probably a social phenomenon more than anything. I grew up in Africa and remember visiting a village where a widow literally fed us her only chicken.

I remember going to one of the most financially blessed churches in Ames (granted I was in a sweatshirt and jeans cause I didn’t know the dress code when I got dressed that morning), but I got ignored the whole time - college sunday school, mingling before and after the service - wherever I was. It wasn’t a very big congregation, either.

[mompom]

Brian thanks for your gracious reply. I don’t think that anyone should care for kids with disabilities at church… medically or anything like that. That said, it really isn’t the big deal that people think it is.



Basically to start a disability ministry at church all you need are volunteers who are willing to be trained by parents. That’s it. And I wouldn’t go searching out tons of kids at the beginning or even ever. I think the most natural way is to simply see needs and meet them and to respond appropriately when somebody has a need.



Basically, if people want to start meeting these kinds of needs, they can talk to parents they know who have kids with disabilities and just see if there’s anything the church can do to help integrate the child and the family better into the church… do they need someone to sit with the child in Sunday School? Do they need to come up with some different Sunday School activities? Is communion accessible? Is baptism accessible? Is the nursery accessible? Are there people who know how to do CPR? Does the church view the child as “one of their own” or a ministry? Joni Erickson Tada has great information if people want to slowly begin meeting needs in small ways like this. If anyone is interested… read Henri Nouwen… especially the books where he talks about caring for “Adam.”



Contact churches who have been successful in this area.



I went to a church (a church when I was much younger– not GC and not the other church I mentioned before). It was before there was governmental respite. And it was a tiny church. There were some children who had seizures frequently and they just needed love and attention. They weren’t even able to sit in Sunday School. And there parents were on the verge of breakdowns and divorce because of the strain (just so you know… life is so much better now for people with disabilities… it’s rare to find people this bad off).



Anyway, my dad asked for a Sunday School room to be turned into a little playroom for these two sweet little boys. I volunteered and lots of others volunteered. We didn’t have pagers or phones or anything. We just had one person who could sit and play and another person who would be the “runner” to get the parent when the child had a seizure.



I am crying as I write this because everyone loved it when Kyle would stomp in on Sunday morning yelling, “HI!” and hugging people. Chance would cry an scream often and people were incredibly sensitive.



Anyway, do you have any idea what that simple hour of volunteering meant to those parents every week?



It meant that they got to sit in church and let the worries float away if even for a minute. They knew that people loved them and their children.



We are the hands and feet of God. We are the ambassadors of Christ’s love to the world. Even if it’s hard, we must do this.



Blessings to you also Brian.



And admins… I apologize for writing this under Let’s talk about Sex… Feel free to move this discussion to a more appropriate thread.

[mompom]

Thanks, Angry for the encouragement.

[mompom]

And Nate and Buttercup as well.

[nateswinton]

Brian,

I think I recognize your name. Are you in Iowa City? Are you friends with Dan?

I want to comment briefly on what you said about the difficulty of ministering effectively to handicapped/disabled persons in a church, and even possibly having a church mind-set largely focused on that end.

I can appreciate your realistic point of view on the issue, and I’m definately no financial guru, nor am I good with church logistics. So I’ll openly admit a lack of understanding on some of the issues you brought up on the difficulty there and say “you’re probably right”.

That said, I can’t help but think of 1 Corinthians 12:20-24 when I think of mompom’s son, and think “This will probably be a pain to execute, but honestly, so is living in community for me, because I want to be a loner. So I guess it’d be worth having something like this.”

I’m speaking totally idealistically here, because honestly it would be extremely difficult for me personally to be involved in a handicapped ministry. I’ve got too many triggers from growing up the only kid (of four) in the household that was responsible for his actions because my siblings were disabled and handicapped. I can’t even begin to tell you what it was like, and I’ve got alot of personal healing that still needs to take place.

I’m just saying, my objection against something like mompom wished would have existed in her church is a very personal one. Philosophically I think it’s essential for The Body to support not only “orphans and widows” but also “the parts that seem to be weaker”, and we’re failing at one of our main callings when we miss the boat there.

[nateswinton]

Henri Nouwen’s books are sweeping through my nexck of the woods right now. God’s using them immensely in alot of my friend’s lives. I oughta get on the band wagon!