Further frustration with GCM and a huge wrong against a forum member

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[Child_of_Arkham]

I’m not sure what exactly to post this under, but it has been brought to my attention that I made a serious error in judgement and wronged a fellow member of this community without realizing it. I will avoid stating their name to respect their privacy, but I am sharing this as an apology to the forum as a whole and to ask for advice.

In November of 2016 I left Candlewood after discovering it was a cult with the help of this site. In particular, I recognized a fellow defector when I saw her testimony on this site and discovered her details. I knew her and her mother and father - but not a personal level which I will touch upon in this post, and that’s what made me sever ties from Candlewood forever.

In 2017, I left a negative review on Candlewood’s Facebook page. To this day, I’m only one of two, which worries me a lot! I described my experience with how Candlewood was completely run by the narcissism of the pastors and how I was abused and shunned for my issues and not helped. I was abused by my father and.stepmother growing up, both of whom are sociopathic narcissists. I went through horrific, controlling abuse that even included being shoved into child pornography and satanic rituals all because my father was so desperate to take control of me. He did so to avoid having to look at himself and experience shame. He wanted me to help in that facade, even if it meant being a male Jean-Bene Ramsey.

Needless to say, I experienced equally similar abuse from Candlewood. I was even given a “covenant” to isolate me because my issues were apparently a PR risk to the pastors. In light of that, it felt like people were literally told how to communicate with me. Yes, I did have a lot of issues coming from an abusive household, but I didn’t deserve all that. I couldn’t even trust those in the congregationI considered my friends. I was practically going through the previous abuse cycle all over again: paranoia and being talked down to.

After I left my review, Candlewood issued a fake apology and told me that they believe in accountability based on a certain scripture they quoted. That really triggered me in that it felt just like my dad and stepmother verbally adding insult to injury. They literally guilt tripped the congregation, stifled me from serving in the church because I didn’t toe the pastors’ line (which changed at a constant clip), gave me punishments that literally left me so paranoid that I’ve had to block everyone who went there (including friends) because I could not trust them, and now they wanna say they hold themselves accountable. I left the reply below. I left certain parts out and edited the post as I meant to type it and to keep the post clean:

“F** you! [You] know you guys are fake. You’ve been called out for the same problems several times and you just try and be more covert. Accountability? More like zero grace and zero freedom in your life! People can see right through you! Also, tell (name omitted) he can suck a d***! He should be ashamed for alienating his daughter (name omitted) and leaving her with nothing because she would not toe your line either. got a thumbs up from (name omitted) on the review I left, too. She was also alienated the same way. May God bring down your facade and expose you for the Pharisees you are! I’m just standing up and blowing the f***ing whistle! F*** off!””

The first name omission you see is the name of the forum member’s father, and I used that profanity because that alludes to his first name. The daughter is the forum member, and she told me not to share this forum information with anyone. Needless to say, I didn’t follow through on that. I recently tried reconnecting with her after several attempts to friend her on Facebook. She saw the reply last year. She got mad at me and had informed me that her father was just as much a victim of the brainwashing as she was. She said I projected my problems onto the church, which I did not mean to do. She was partially right. It was PTSD from being in an abusive home, so it was hard to distinguish anything from what I experienced growing up.

Nevertheless, I was in the wrong, but how could I have known with all the paranoia I had. While paranoid, I thought the man was another piece of trash and that disrespected his kids. I was trying to provide chivalry for his daughter that I thought did not exist. Plus, he was going to try and get me a leg up in a possible graphic design position, and you can guess how finding out about the true nature of Candlewood put a damper on that.

I understand these forums are for therapy and helping each other out. Nevertheless, I cannot help but think that action needs to be taken to stop what the Great Commission is doing to susceptible hearts and minds. In my opinion, we are all victims of a soft core Jim Jones cult. We need to take action against this movement. They have existed for nearly half a century and nothing has been done to seriously penalize what they are getting away with.

I do believe we are saved by grace through faith and not by works, but I believe that in faith we need to still have works. We cannot have more incidents like what have experienced. Yes, these people are very covert and subtle about how they operate, but I am surprised that no one has managed to truly stop them. Mark Darling should be serving hard prison time for what he did to those women, but he existed stage left to save his ass. If only his victims could have had their day in court.

With all our stories combined, I believe we can bring this organization down. I have been able to analyze the M.O.’s of Rory Whitney and Gary Osborn to a T, and similarly we could build a case against them and the entire Great Collusion. I call it that because it is, as we know, a conspiracy for control disguised as Christianity. Yes, I have met some awesome people while I was attending Candlewood that are truly good people and I hope they can find a different church that is the real deal. I also know via this site that there are indeed pastors that do mean well that are unfortunately in the Great Collusion as well. My anger is at the Great Commission itself, the abuse we endured, the indoctrinated and covert cult-like behavior of our events and service projects, and the people perpetuating this house of cards. This site is a testament to the damage they inflict, and I believe we need to build a case against these frauds and stop them once and for all!

[Huldah]

Child of Arkham, I'm very sorry for what you've endured, both from your GC church and from others. I wish I had the right words to help it all make sense or not hurt so much.

We do as much as we can on this forum to document the abuses and the bad doctrines, but still the organization goes on and even prospers. I think of it as the tares being allowed to grow among the wheat until the final harvest, as Jesus spoke of. Not that everyone at GC or even all the leaders are tares, of course, but it wouldn't surprise me to learn that some of the leaders may never have known Christ at all.

I hope you're not going through this alone. I hope you have trustworthy friends, loved ones, or even a therapist or counselor who has experience dealing with cultic abuse, with whom you can sort this out.

[Child_of_Arkham]

I have plenty of help From my mother, stepfather, a few good friends, two Christian counselors and a psychiatrist. I still don’t feel healed. I feel like I haven’t defeated them yet. I was abused by a father and stepmother that were both narcissistic sociopaths, which made me susceptible already to the #GreatCollusion. I was put up against a wall where I was damned if I did, damned if I did not.

One of the things my father kept conveying and conditioning me with was that when you are the man of the house or you feel in the right you attack the person that is wrong to punish them. Both of them invented every excuse for their abuse and being able to butt in and control anything they wish, especially in being “in the moral right” or “the adult in the room” (even by age). He also told me a damaging lie, knowing that is was impossible for me to pull off, that if I wanted any chance of being free of him I had to battle him the same way he was battling me - but even harder. Then, apparently I’d be free. First of all, he knew that I was a small child (ages 1-4) and that I was more likely to get in trouble and sabotage myself by doing so. He also knew I obey a moral conscience and wanted to use that against me. With him being spineless as he was, he could skate around people’s perception and act like he was innocent in order to get away with it.

I am equally frustrated with Candlewood and the #Great Collusion because they are getting away with abuse and brainwashing. Most of these people are good natured - or so I think. Candlewood only recognized people that either had big egos or were useful idiots. Either way, both were in the pastors’ pockets and the odds were stacked against people like me all the time - just like my dad and stepmom. They also changed their PR based on whatever they thought would give them what they want - just like my dad and stepmom.

I have been recovering from narcissistic abuse since I was 26. I got saved at age 23. I am going to be 34 later in April, but I still believe these people need to be called on their bull#$&@. We are able to see more of the real bad guys everyday, thanks be to God, and because the tide in changing back to Christianity in America and around the world. Why not use that to our advantage and start notifying our federal and state reps of what is going on? We need these people to face the consequences of their actions (meaning the tares) so that others do not have to experience what we have gone through. I am discouraged because I feel like the only crying for true justice and for indictments against the Mark Darlings and Rory Whitneys of this movement. Real people of faith deserve better than to be lead astray by false prophets.

[Huldah]

I'm glad you've got some support. I can't even imagine all the trauma you've been through.

We are able to see more of the real bad guys everyday, thanks be to God, and because the tide in changing back to Christianity in America and around the world. Why not use that to our advantage and start notifying our federal and state reps of what is going on? We need these people to face the consequences of their actions (meaning the tares) so that others do not have to experience what we have gone through.

If any criminal acts have been committed, the victims apparently chose not to file a report.

As for holding the organization civilly accountable, I only know of one case where someone tried to go that route. There was a lawsuit many years ago that was apparently was settled out of court, and probably involved a non-disclosure agreement. No one here seems to know any of the details. It's mentioned in this thread: http://forum.gcmwarning.com/jim-mccotter-gc-history/the-standinger-lawsuit/

There's always a possibility that someone will eventually come forward with a criminal or civil complaint. If you yourself have grounds to do so, my advice is to be very careful about posting the details on the open forums here. For one thing, it's almost certain that GC leaders read the posts here, so you wouldn't want to tip your hand about possible legal strategies. For another, if you ever decide to unmask yourself and name names, there will be backlash from GC supporters, and to put it mildly it won't be pretty. So if that's something you think you might do some day, just be ready for a fight.

I hope you're able to recover the peace that GC and your dad robbed you of. From my own experience, recovering from GC wasn't a fast or smooth process by any means, and it left a few scars. But those are things you've doubtless already figured out for yourself. I just want you to have hope. There are life and grace here on the outside.