Hi

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[RGrace]

Hi all. A short intro.

I was involved in a GC church for a few years. I was aware of the issues surrounding the movement from the very beginning. I never really saw any of them actively in my church. I had to leave the church I was attending (due to unrelated reasons) not too long ago and since I left, I have seen a few of my close friends turn against me and accuse me of untrue things. I have seen a lot of similar behavior that has been talked about by people on here that left various churches in the movement. I would like to understand their actions more and seek reconciliation with them but I don't know how as they are avoiding me and ignoring any attempts on my part to talk to them. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions as to how to go about this. Also, one question that has been lingering in my mind for years is how can I talk to people in the church regarding the issues in the movement without them regarding it as slander or a personal attack on them and what they believe?

[EverAStudent]

Hello RGrace, and welcome to the forum. 

I am sorry to hear that your GC friends have disassociated with you since you changed churches.  They are likely seeing your action as a form of disloyalty to their specific local church and to the GC movement generally.  When I was in GC the leaders constantly repeated to us that those who left were being disloyal to them personally and to Christ Himself because the leavers had abandoned "God's best" for "God's second best."

Not everyone loses their friends when they leave a GC church.  I think it depends largely on how "old school" the leadership is.  The more they were trained in McCotter's elitism and errors the more they may have the attitude that anyone outside the church is not worthy of a churchmember's time (except as a potential recruit). 

If you want to restore fellowship (a daunting task in some situations), you might try having over your best friend from the church one-on-one for lunch.  Then try having your best friends who were a couple over for dinner.  Avoid bringing up GC entirely, at first, and just talk about a point of doctrine, a favorite Scripture, or a recent Bible study.  This will help them know you have not gone apostate.  They may warm up eventually. 

Blessings.

[exshep]

The description of the variety of  GC experiences is  familiar.  It can vary from church to church.  I never knew the  Lubbock group,  but knew Grace Community Church Plano TX and  Hope Fellowship Denton TX very well.   Denton was old time GC without the abusive trappings.  It is a  warm fellowship meeting in  an art gallery.  The folks could not be more down to earth.  Grace, which has left the GCAC for reasons unknown, was a purpose driven church looking to Saddleback Church for guidance and direction.    The two churches were twenty five miles apart and completely different breeds of  cat.

I seriously listen to anyone whose experience was less than  stellar.   I knew  ex members in the Columbus and Washington Churches of the 70's and 80's.  They were and  some are still struggling.  I have also had confrontations with Columbus elders in the mid 80's.  The incidents help me become aware the   non  GC group I was in.  I exited in  1984. 

Rest assured when posters on  the forum have a variety of good and bad experiences,  one is   not in an episode of the Twilight Zone.  The  abuse does seem to hop scotch from one group to another.   I am not fazed if I see thumbs up and down in the same thread.  For those who trying to recover,  it can  feel debilitating  at times.   
 

[Anonymous]

Also, one question that has been lingering in my mind for years is how can I talk to people in the church regarding the issues in the movement without them regarding it as slander or a personal attack on them and what they believe?

This is what I've struggled with too. I have gotten a "when you say things about GCC which you disagree with or find fault with, it seems like you are attacking me or others I know" response a fair bit, which is really difficult. Because it makes it hard to really discuss things or feel comfortable bringing up things with my closer friends in GCC, since it can so often feel as if they take things personally, and this is not something anyone really wants to do - discuss things which feel like personal attacks against friends.

I also agree with exshep about the variety within GCC. The GCC church I was affiliated with was fairly "mild" in terms of things I really didn't like, by this I mean there were things I did not like and really had some issue, but not a ton with; but conferences like Faithwalkers and local conferences really brought those issues I had noticed out and made them much more pronounced.

[France]

Hi all. A short intro.

I was involved in a GC church for a few years. I was aware of the issues surrounding the movement from the very beginning. I never really saw any of them actively in my church. I had to leave the church I was attending (due to unrelated reasons) not too long ago and since I left, I have seen a few of my close friends turn against me and accuse me of untrue things. I have seen a lot of similar behavior that has been talked about by people on here that left various churches in the movement. I would like to understand their actions more and seek reconciliation with them but I don't know how as they are avoiding me and ignoring any attempts on my part to talk to them. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions as to how to go about this. Also, one question that has been lingering in my mind for years is how can I talk to people in the church regarding the issues in the movement without them regarding it as slander or a personal attack on them and what they believe?

Most of the people in GC churches have taken the identity of the churches and what they stand for as part of who they are. therefore anything you may say against the church or movement is taken very personally and is thus viewed as an attack. Even your best friends will turn against you if you have anything bad to say about the church.

As far as reconciliation goes, it takes both sides to want to fix what's broken. The best you can do is to let them know that you are looking for reconciliation and leave the door open. It may take a while for your friends to come to the point of wanting it too. Pray for them and ask the Lord to keep your heart soft for when/if they do approach you. But don't compromise what you know to be true just to fix a relationship. Good luck with everything.