How do the kids do?

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[GodisFaithful]

I'm new here.  We left Evergreen in '93.  Our older kids were 13, 11 and 10.  I truly shudder to think that they would have gotten trapped into this system of hyper control of their lives and aspirations.  It also seems that some of these kids would become "rebels" of the system, but not know what was wrong and where to turn.  Do most of the "leaders" kids stay in GC churches?  Just curious, and I am sure it varies a lot.

[GodisFaithful]

Sorry, I didn't realize I was posting this on hello and testimonials. 

I will tell a short version of my story.  I was going to nursing school in St. Paul, MN and a friend there was attending a "house church."  I was newly saved and was curious.  I visited a few times.  I was attracted to the close-knit family-like situation.  These people were praying for me, and in comparison, my other church seemed cold and stale.  I became a regular along with my friend.  I ended up marrying a guy that I met through this group who had gotten saved on the U of M campus.  He had been searching for the truth for a long time. 

We were around for 17/18 years.  We usually just talk about the good memories.  When Mark Darling and Brent Knox moved up to run the church in the Twin Cities, they befriended us.  But after our church became Evergreen, it was all about the numbers and appealing to the masses of unbelievers around us.  We often say that we were like that frog in the water, we didn't realize the danger for a long time.  But when we did, and expressed concerns, we were nicely told to find a new church. 

I'm really thankful for this forum.  It is answering a lot of questions for me.  I am thankful that I now go to a church where I am allowed to ask questions.  I am also allowed to disagree with the pastors.  I am encouraged to read commentaries and books by a variety of Christians.  It's not a perfect church by any means, and who knows, we might go somewhere else some day.  But I no longer feel like I am wishing I was in some inner clique of "cool" people.  It is a freedom that is hard to describe unless you lived it.  But I never processed the painfulness of being told to leave, and I felt somehow that we were alone in our trying to put together the pieces of our lives post-Evergreen.  So I am grateful to all of you who are out there and have told your stories.  I appreciate them and you so much!

[AnotherPK]

This thread caught my eye.

I will not go into why I found this site here but once I started reading and recognising names of people who used to sit around our dinner table I got hooked.

I guess I qualify as a "kid" my dad was a GCM pastor so here goes:

I m in my early 30s now, we did two pretty big moves (church plants) growing up. Me and my siblings were all pretty involved to one extent or another. I did HSLT every summer, youth groups helped run PowerPoint at church, evangelised, etc... My motivation was not really to be a "good Christian" looking back I think I understand on some level that his success as a pastor was in part based on having proper Christian kids and his success as a pastor paid the bills. We lived very frugally.

So long story short I left home to join the military at age 18. Without worrying about how I reflected on my father I have never stepped foot in a GCM church again (other than when I visit my parents). I went to college after the military then moved to the other side of the country. I have a decent job a wife and 2 year old and consider myself a well adjusted adult. My wife is catholic so we go to Mass together but generally speaking I believe being a good husband, father, neighbour, coworker, etc...  Is important than being a "good Christian". I didn't feel like people at GCM were genuine, they cared how I was doing spiritually but not how I was doing as a human being.

I met non-Christian people in the military who had a very positive impact on me and by following their examples I have become more genuine. I have tried to continue to follow their examples and don't feel most the GCM people I know to be positive influences in my life (with some exceptions, not saying the rest are bad they are just not people I want to be like).

My siblings: there were some rather huge struggles growing up but at this point all are well adjusted adults with normal jobs and families, two are hardcore GCM folk two are more lukewarm.

With the exception of my dad trying to preach at me and my wife (half the reason I found this site) I have a good relationship with my family and consider our childhood to be really good if a little weird (yes we were homeschooled)

I still keep in touch with some GCM childhood friends.

I feel like I could write forever on GCM stuff but this will have to do for now. I hope that addresses some of the curiosity about what happens when you grow up believing GCM is normal.

[Janet Easson Martin]

AnotherPK,

Welcome!  Thank you very much for honestly sharing your experience in GCM, and as an "elder/pastor's" kid. I very much agree with you on the general lack of sincerity in GCx. I'm really glad you were able to get out of that environment and make your own way, yet still remain on good terms with your family.

Janet