It took 17 Years to get out

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[JesusFacePalm]

My Story with GCM

My story starts as a young man who lost his dad when he was 18 years old.   We rarely visited a church growing up and it was not important to me, but growing up in the 80's in the midwest, it was most families tradition and like most mistakes in life, we live who we're told to be instead of asking ourselves who we are.

My Girlfriend became my world after my dad died.    I was a very insecure young man and like all insecurity, you do stupid things to feel in control.   I took her for granted and was very controlling and after 5-6years, she had enough and moved on and broke up.   We had recently moved to a college town, and I had left my hometown and everything I knew to move to follow her.   She broke up about 6 months after we moved, and I was stuck in this college town and  had invested in a new business and could not move back to my hometown if I wanted to keep being self employed.   After the break up, I didn't know what to do or how to cope.   I tried a few things to move on, but nothing was working.   At this point, I cried out to the universe for help.   It happened to come in the form of Hearing about Jesus.....

A series of circumstances landed me in a GCM church and I started to hear things that helped me deal with the parts of myself I was not proud of.  A good psychology book would have been better, but I was getting answers and understanding myself for the first time, but the big mistake I made is that I assumed some Doctrinal God was orchestrating it and THIS CHURCH had to be where he wanted me.    I blindly bought in and since I had no idea what this new life was going to mean, I quickly got attached to "the experts" or leaders at this church.   They seemed confident, and I had already started this idea that "GOD" lead me and this HAD to be the perfect place for me.    I'm all or nothing most of the time, so I was in and wanted to know everything and share this information that I'd never heard before.    I was feeling pretty guilty and suffering the consequences of being and A$$hole in my teens, that the idea of being forgiven was appealing.    And of course, I jumped right on the Jesus paid it for me train.   I grew up assuming there was a heaven and a hell.    But these concepts did not come from me, it was my culture.   Of course a person living in the USA in the midwest is going to fall into the Christian Judaeo beliefs.   

I found myself quickly invited into the student group leader meetings and this is where I started my fear of people and their opinions.   I remember choosing not to go to a couple meetings and my friends at the time would ask why I'm not there.   So this started the fear that I'm SUPPOSED to go.   But because I assumed my life is no longer my own and this is where "GOD" brought me, who was I to know better?   So little by little, I gave myself up and I didn't realize it at the time, but I was very swayed by the opinion of my leaders and the group mentality.    I would never blame an individual in this church for orchestrating this kind of control, but the group created it's own domestication of themselves and I was now a GCM'er.   

I went to all the meetings, even the ones you drove hours to with the "old guys" who had been a part of this church since it's early days in the 70's and 80's.   By now, I had given up all my worldly friends and adopted a self congratulatory mindset of being in the perfect church who are really living by faith.   And The BIBLE was our guide and I can trust it.  Read it and do it.   Read it and do it....   I never once thought of studying things out on my own, but I was happy to attend teachings about how we are superior and obviously have a monopoly on truth.   I'm being sarcastic in hind site, but it's amazing how humans in general have a deep need to be right or on the right team.   But in order to be right, we have to make someone else wrong.   

So lets get to dating:    I noticed that all the student leaders had this weird paranoia about "guarding their hearts"   And only a few people were married and they all had stories of "how God did it and lead".   It was never taught that this is how it was, but the group, once again, had created it's own unspoken rules, and a person who is still trying to figure out who they are can naively adopt a leaders or a groups mentality and give up their own authority to choose for themselves.  I would get crushes or meet girls in my work and I would be so afraid that I was doing something wrong.   And by now, i was already believing silly verses about being unequally yoked with an unbeliever, which is another flavor of being on the right team with the right doctrine.   
I did not go on a date for 5 years.    Anytime I had a desire, I'd ask a leader friend or pastor, and since they did not seem to give me the go ahead, I took that as the voice of God and waited some more.    And because we were a small group, the pool of  "Gods Perfect Choice" for me was limited to who was there.  But I assumed this was how it was going to work.   
During these single years, I gave ALL my time and money to the church.    I would tithe my total invoices from my business, even though I was only profiting about 30% of that.   Somehow I believed in some first fruits BS.   The group also had an unspoken rule that you lived with other single guys and have houses full of single people.   I remember feeling stuck with some of these people.    Households of insecure self righteous buzz kill people making sure that no one is having too much fun.   
If you were seen talking to a girl alone, you'd get pulled aside and "talked to".    If you were watching too much entertainment or video games, you would get asked questions if this is really best for the kingdom.   And pretty soon, you're a zombie paranoid if you can do anything.   Again, nobody taught this, but the group creates the perfect storm for people to give up who they are, especially if they have not had the time to figure it out.

Moving on.......  I finally get the ok to pursue one of the girls whose parents had been lifetime GCM'ers.   I had to answer their pages of Jesus Commitment questions to get permission.    I knew and thought I believed the answers at the time, so I got the go ahead, and at our wedding, we both said how clear GOD HAD DONE THIS.     Given the small pool and the amount of time we were single, it was just our own heads assuming what we thought it would happen like.      So of course it went down that way.     Our wedding kiss was her first kiss in her life.    She grew up a GCM'er, so I'm not surprised she would adopt that as her belief and standard.   Our courtship and engagement was only 5 months.    That's not a lot of time to make a lifelong commitment unless you're pretty convinced "GOD" is telling you to do it after years of being a born again virgin/dater. 

We were very involved in our New Church plant.   We were growing, and I was quickly put on the board of important people.  Probably because I was faithful to obey and giving a lot of money.  There were about 6 of us who talked about EVERYTHING.    We were in charge of talking about the "flock" and who was under our care and of course we talked about those not doing it right.     Someone was always needing a talking to or a correction.    I remember HATING these meetings.   It was gross and a gossip meeting at best.   
The group consisted of a couple Pastors and a bunch of young business owners who were bogged down in work and young families.    Eventually, the visionary pastor moved and the rest of the distracted leaders phoned in their leadership and the church was growing still, but really, it was just that each of us met a few friends or disgruntled Christians who appreciated our small groups were you could be real and accepted.  Not long after this Key pastor moved to start another church, We ended up merging with another church in town and all the pastors got paying rolls at this Big Church and the rest of us were just expected to follow.   A few of my best friends at this time moved away or just didn't go much to this new church.   

I hosted and lead one of our house churchs and people were added to it from this big church.   It was like all my friends were chosen for me and I was being asked to fill roles at 2-3 services and felt like a cog in a machine to grow an organization.   This is when I first started wondering why am I even doing this?   

I started listening to open minded podcasts and my business had really taken off about the same time we were having a few kids.   Once the 2nd and 3rd kids came, my wife wanted to do the homeschooling/stay at home mom thing.    I figured my main focus was providing and church leadership, so I mentally handed that off to her because I didn't grow up that way and I figured she knew and had plenty of mentors to follow.    But because I was not involved, eventually, I felt like I had no say in it or how it was going.   
I just ignored it and worked hard.     I really started not to like how involved we were with everything and felt I had no time for myself or alone time with my family, so I decided to step down from leadership and hosting a house church.   
I also felt the pinch of how expensive a one income family was and decided to stop tithing.   Everything about our house was falling apart and yet, I 'd tithed over 100k to this church in 7 years.   On top of that, I even gave large amounts on special giving opportunities like church plants or the building we bought.    When our churches merged, they took the asset that our small group had pitched in for.   I felt like it was to support the 3 pastors who got jobs at this new church, but who cares what the non pastors sacrificed and gave.     

I really despised this new church and the leaders there wanted us to go through all their programs to make sure we were real members.   I started to realize how bad organizations need commitment and money to exist.     I had done personal work for a majority of the pastors and a couple of them abused that gift and would ask for my services a couple times / year and take as much and talk about "the blessing" it was.   Yet they didn't see the birds and insects destroying my house that I didn't have the money to work on.   I said screw it, and stopped giving and started focusing on my own things.   And it's amazing that I was finally able to have some money to repair our home.   
I worked a lot as well during this time and started listening to open minded podcasts and expanding my world view.   I started to realize that I was in an echo chamber and never really given a chance to figure things out for myself.   I needed to step out of the system and have time to figure out who am I?   

My wife didn't like that I was becoming someone else, and she would talk to the pastors behind my back to talk to me.   But I had sat for years in these meetings of situations just like this and I knew what was coming.    I would get the friendly lunch invites.   I would get the unsolicited advice and encouragement to get me back to who they thought or wanted me to be.    And then the $hit hit the fan.

I was doing about everything to escape including gaming, moderate drinking (but in their eyes, Major alcoholic)  and i was a workaholic and doing the work of at least 2 full time guys, but I was too cheap to get help.   Eventually I wanted to make personal growth changes and started addressing what I was avoiding.  I knew I was no longer happy in my marriage, and wonder if I ever was.     I no longer had the GCM view of family and I really felt we were isolated from the world.    I also thought my wife was not very open as a person because we never connected on deep level.   I felt I always had my heart on my sleeve and telling her who I was.
Our first kiss was our wedding day, but I quickly realized we were so different early on, but I assumed "GOD" planned this and this was good.   I started to think we should evaluate everything and possibly do things different.    I was changing and I no longer believed this dogma.   I had started to really love myself and saw myself as clean in general and that people are in general, good.    Which is opposite of this idea that we are dirty sinners without Jesus.   I realized that we live up to who we think and say we are.   
 
My wife, her pastors, and her family made ultimatums of what things were going to look like and I refused.   They planned for months behind my back through meetings and emails to remove the kids from my home and move them hours away to her parents.   I have emails of their dialog and the exact weekend they were planning it.    Her mother tried to trick me and make it my idea and like it was going to be a short term space to talk calmly and have time to search ourselves, but they already had the uhaul before we even talked, and when i got back from a quick trip out of town that weekend, they were moved and the entire script changed. 

It was now all about how abusive I am and that I refuse to get help.   She shut off communication with my kids for 5 weeks, and I hired a lawyer because this became about church discipline and having nothing to do with the non believer.    I wanted to just go grab my kids and bring them back home, but legally advised not to, but if I wanted more than a civil agreement, I'd have to file to separate or divorce.  Her mom even said in an email months before they left that if a divorce eventually happens, that she prayed I'd be the one to do it, so that they could "obey" the bible.   
I never abused her.   I was not nice whenever they put me in a corner with ultimatums and I would verbally tell them all to F off.   And I'd still say F off, because they're interested in control.    We had an empty house next door that I was wiling to live in and support them in order to get my kids back around me, but they refused.   I went multiple times of 4-5 weeks with no contact with my kids until finally my lawyer and mediation got me a temporary agreement and schedule.   The courts are backed up 2 years and it'll be 6 more months before I can get this before a judge.    We also had a baby because we got pregnant right before this all happened.   She sent me an email the day after the baby was born informing me of the name.    I was not included in any of it.   I have missed so much.   The baby is now over a year old and I've held her at most, 24 hours all together.   I've fought for every min of visitation with my kids.   I have continued to financially support them ,even though they have made it so hard for me to run a business and put up with this hours of distance.
 
I have learned plenty in terms of personal boundaries and human nature.   And I have learned how dangerous this church can be when they get insecure because they're no longer able to keep control.    It's hard to leave the cult without serious consequences.     I would advise anyone joining to make sure you have other friends.    Make sure you think for yourself and not just adopt a self righteous doctrine that would separate you from others.   
I'm not even saying Christianity is a bad thing and can be a productive way of keeping thought, while applying deep hidden truth, although they are so hidden within the current organizational structures.   The bad part is that man has claimed it for themselves, rewritten it over and over, and each group thinks they're doing it a little better than the ones before.  I always thought GCM's "this ain't your grandparents church" was a pretty arrogant motto.    I feel GCM takes it to another level of elitism and group pressure.   
They're able to put their "GOD" in your head, along with the self domestication that forms from of group mentality.   If you do it right, you're accepted and everyone is happy.   If you start doing it different, you get a talking to.    I don't care what people choose to believe, but I do care when groups have an interest in overstepping the free will of others, and will conspire against when one leaves or doesn't want to listen anymore.   

There's much more to my story and I'm just happy to be out of it and I get to be me.     There's nothing better than knowing who you are and expressing it in our own worlds.   I hope the same for my kids.   I'm here to talk if anyone feels stuck or has slowly died in one of these organizations.   It took a lot of courage and I've been though the backlash of leaving, but its way better on the other side.  One of the hidden truth gems in Christianity :  Fear of man will prove to be a snare

[Janet Easson Martin]

Welcome JFP!  

Thank you, THANK YOU for sharing your heart wrenching experience with GCM (GCx) Churches.  I understand well and agree with so many of the things you revealed about the sinister control invoked in GCx using God’s name.  Their authoritarian abuse is so destructive to families.  I am so sorry for your loss of freedom all those years.  My heart goes out to the struggle for your children. I can’t imagine.

I will write more soon to respond to your transparent testimony.  I’m sure you have PLENTY of fellow “obedient” friends from GCx (GCM) Churches who can relate.

Janet

[Scout]

I’m so very sorry.

Scout

My Story with GCM

My story starts as a young man who lost his dad when he was 18 years old.   We rarely visited a church growing up and it was not important to me, but growing up in the 80's in the midwest, it was most families tradition and like most mistakes in life, we live who we're told to be instead of asking ourselves who we are.

My Girlfriend became my world after my dad died.    I was a very insecure young man and like all insecurity, you do stupid things to feel in control.   I took her for granted and was very controlling and after 5-6years, she had enough and moved on and broke up.   We had recently moved to a college town, and I had left my hometown and everything I knew to move to follow her.   She broke up about 6 months after we moved, and I was stuck in this college town and  had invested in a new business and could not move back to my hometown if I wanted to keep being self employed.   After the break up, I didn't know what to do or how to cope.   I tried a few things to move on, but nothing was working.   At this point, I cried out to the universe for help.   It happened to come in the form of Hearing about Jesus.....

A series of circumstances landed me in a GCM church and I started to hear things that helped me deal with the parts of myself I was not proud of.  A good psychology book would have been better, but I was getting answers and understanding myself for the first time, but the big mistake I made is that I assumed some Doctrinal God was orchestrating it and THIS CHURCH had to be where he wanted me.    I blindly bought in and since I had no idea what this new life was going to mean, I quickly got attached to "the experts" or leaders at this church.   They seemed confident, and I had already started this idea that "GOD" lead me and this HAD to be the perfect place for me.    I'm all or nothing most of the time, so I was in and wanted to know everything and share this information that I'd never heard before.    I was feeling pretty guilty and suffering the consequences of being and A$$hole in my teens, that the idea of being forgiven was appealing.    And of course, I jumped right on the Jesus paid it for me train.   I grew up assuming there was a heaven and a hell.    But these concepts did not come from me, it was my culture.   Of course a person living in the USA in the midwest is going to fall into the Christian Judaeo beliefs.   

I found myself quickly invited into the student group leader meetings and this is where I started my fear of people and their opinions.   I remember choosing not to go to a couple meetings and my friends at the time would ask why I'm not there.   So this started the fear that I'm SUPPOSED to go.   But because I assumed my life is no longer my own and this is where "GOD" brought me, who was I to know better?   So little by little, I gave myself up and I didn't realize it at the time, but I was very swayed by the opinion of my leaders and the group mentality.    I would never blame an individual in this church for orchestrating this kind of control, but the group created it's own domestication of themselves and I was now a GCM'er.   

I went to all the meetings, even the ones you drove hours to with the "old guys" who had been a part of this church since it's early days in the 70's and 80's.   By now, I had given up all my worldly friends and adopted a self congratulatory mindset of being in the perfect church who are really living by faith.   And The BIBLE was our guide and I can trust it.  Read it and do it.   Read it and do it....   I never once thought of studying things out on my own, but I was happy to attend teachings about how we are superior and obviously have a monopoly on truth.   I'm being sarcastic in hind site, but it's amazing how humans in general have a deep need to be right or on the right team.   But in order to be right, we have to make someone else wrong.   

So lets get to dating:    I noticed that all the student leaders had this weird paranoia about "guarding their hearts"   And only a few people were married and they all had stories of "how God did it and lead".   It was never taught that this is how it was, but the group, once again, had created it's own unspoken rules, and a person who is still trying to figure out who they are can naively adopt a leaders or a groups mentality and give up their own authority to choose for themselves.  I would get crushes or meet girls in my work and I would be so afraid that I was doing something wrong.   And by now, i was already believing silly verses about being unequally yoked with an unbeliever, which is another flavor of being on the right team with the right doctrine.   
I did not go on a date for 5 years.    Anytime I had a desire, I'd ask a leader friend or pastor, and since they did not seem to give me the go ahead, I took that as the voice of God and waited some more.    And because we were a small group, the pool of  "Gods Perfect Choice" for me was limited to who was there.  But I assumed this was how it was going to work.   
During these single years, I gave ALL my time and money to the church.    I would tithe my total invoices from my business, even though I was only profiting about 30% of that.   Somehow I believed in some first fruits BS.   The group also had an unspoken rule that you lived with other single guys and have houses full of single people.   I remember feeling stuck with some of these people.    Households of insecure self righteous buzz kill people making sure that no one is having too much fun.   
If you were seen talking to a girl alone, you'd get pulled aside and "talked to".    If you were watching too much entertainment or video games, you would get asked questions if this is really best for the kingdom.   And pretty soon, you're a zombie paranoid if you can do anything.   Again, nobody taught this, but the group creates the perfect storm for people to give up who they are, especially if they have not had the time to figure it out.

Moving on.......  I finally get the ok to pursue one of the girls whose parents had been lifetime GCM'ers.   I had to answer their pages of Jesus Commitment questions to get permission.    I knew and thought I believed the answers at the time, so I got the go ahead, and at our wedding, we both said how clear GOD HAD DONE THIS.     Given the small pool and the amount of time we were single, it was just our own heads assuming what we thought it would happen like.      So of course it went down that way.     Our wedding kiss was her first kiss in her life.    She grew up a GCM'er, so I'm not surprised she would adopt that as her belief and standard.   Our courtship and engagement was only 5 months.    That's not a lot of time to make a lifelong commitment unless you're pretty convinced "GOD" is telling you to do it after years of being a born again virgin/dater. 

We were very involved in our New Church plant.   We were growing, and I was quickly put on the board of important people.  Probably because I was faithful to obey and giving a lot of money.  There were about 6 of us who talked about EVERYTHING.    We were in charge of talking about the "flock" and who was under our care and of course we talked about those not doing it right.     Someone was always needing a talking to or a correction.    I remember HATING these meetings.   It was gross and a gossip meeting at best.   
The group consisted of a couple Pastors and a bunch of young business owners who were bogged down in work and young families.    Eventually, the visionary pastor moved and the rest of the distracted leaders phoned in their leadership and the church was growing still, but really, it was just that each of us met a few friends or disgruntled Christians who appreciated our small groups were you could be real and accepted.  Not long after this Key pastor moved to start another church, We ended up merging with another church in town and all the pastors got paying rolls at this Big Church and the rest of us were just expected to follow.   A few of my best friends at this time moved away or just didn't go much to this new church.   

I hosted and lead one of our house churchs and people were added to it from this big church.   It was like all my friends were chosen for me and I was being asked to fill roles at 2-3 services and felt like a cog in a machine to grow an organization.   This is when I first started wondering why am I even doing this?   

I started listening to open minded podcasts and my business had really taken off about the same time we were having a few kids.   Once the 2nd and 3rd kids came, my wife wanted to do the homeschooling/stay at home mom thing.    I figured my main focus was providing and church leadership, so I mentally handed that off to her because I didn't grow up that way and I figured she knew and had plenty of mentors to follow.    But because I was not involved, eventually, I felt like I had no say in it or how it was going.   
I just ignored it and worked hard.     I really started not to like how involved we were with everything and felt I had no time for myself or alone time with my family, so I decided to step down from leadership and hosting a house church.   
I also felt the pinch of how expensive a one income family was and decided to stop tithing.   Everything about our house was falling apart and yet, I 'd tithed over 100k to this church in 7 years.   On top of that, I even gave large amounts on special giving opportunities like church plants or the building we bought.    When our churches merged, they took the asset that our small group had pitched in for.   I felt like it was to support the 3 pastors who got jobs at this new church, but who cares what the non pastors sacrificed and gave.     

I really despised this new church and the leaders there wanted us to go through all their programs to make sure we were real members.   I started to realize how bad organizations need commitment and money to exist.     I had done personal work for a majority of the pastors and a couple of them abused that gift and would ask for my services a couple times / year and take as much and talk about "the blessing" it was.   Yet they didn't see the birds and insects destroying my house that I didn't have the money to work on.   I said screw it, and stopped giving and started focusing on my own things.   And it's amazing that I was finally able to have some money to repair our home.   
I worked a lot as well during this time and started listening to open minded podcasts and expanding my world view.   I started to realize that I was in an echo chamber and never really given a chance to figure things out for myself.   I needed to step out of the system and have time to figure out who am I?   

My wife didn't like that I was becoming someone else, and she would talk to the pastors behind my back to talk to me.   But I had sat for years in these meetings of situations just like this and I knew what was coming.    I would get the friendly lunch invites.   I would get the unsolicited advice and encouragement to get me back to who they thought or wanted me to be.    And then the $hit hit the fan.

I was doing about everything to escape including gaming, moderate drinking (but in their eyes, Major alcoholic)  and i was a workaholic and doing the work of at least 2 full time guys, but I was too cheap to get help.   Eventually I wanted to make personal growth changes and started addressing what I was avoiding.  I knew I was no longer happy in my marriage, and wonder if I ever was.     I no longer had the GCM view of family and I really felt we were isolated from the world.    I also thought my wife was not very open as a person because we never connected on deep level.   I felt I always had my heart on my sleeve and telling her who I was.
Our first kiss was our wedding day, but I quickly realized we were so different early on, but I assumed "GOD" planned this and this was good.   I started to think we should evaluate everything and possibly do things different.    I was changing and I no longer believed this dogma.   I had started to really love myself and saw myself as clean in general and that people are in general, good.    Which is opposite of this idea that we are dirty sinners without Jesus.   I realized that we live up to who we think and say we are.   
 
My wife, her pastors, and her family made ultimatums of what things were going to look like and I refused.   They planned for months behind my back through meetings and emails to remove the kids from my home and move them hours away to her parents.   I have emails of their dialog and the exact weekend they were planning it.    Her mother tried to trick me and make it my idea and like it was going to be a short term space to talk calmly and have time to search ourselves, but they already had the uhaul before we even talked, and when i got back from a quick trip out of town that weekend, they were moved and the entire script changed. 

It was now all about how abusive I am and that I refuse to get help.   She shut off communication with my kids for 5 weeks, and I hired a lawyer because this became about church discipline and having nothing to do with the non believer.    I wanted to just go grab my kids and bring them back home, but legally advised not to, but if I wanted more than a civil agreement, I'd have to file to separate or divorce.  Her mom even said in an email months before they left that if a divorce eventually happens, that she prayed I'd be the one to do it, so that they could "obey" the bible.   
I never abused her.   I was not nice whenever they put me in a corner with ultimatums and I would verbally tell them all to F off.   And I'd still say F off, because they're interested in control.    We had an empty house next door that I was wiling to live in and support them in order to get my kids back around me, but they refused.   I went multiple times of 4-5 weeks with no contact with my kids until finally my lawyer and mediation got me a temporary agreement and schedule.   The courts are backed up 2 years and it'll be 6 more months before I can get this before a judge.    We also had a baby because we got pregnant right before this all happened.   She sent me an email the day after the baby was born informing me of the name.    I was not included in any of it.   I have missed so much.   The baby is now over a year old and I've held her at most, 24 hours all together.   I've fought for every min of visitation with my kids.   I have continued to financially support them ,even though they have made it so hard for me to run a business and put up with this hours of distance.
 
I have learned plenty in terms of personal boundaries and human nature.   And I have learned how dangerous this church can be when they get insecure because they're no longer able to keep control.    It's hard to leave the cult without serious consequences.     I would advise anyone joining to make sure you have other friends.    Make sure you think for yourself and not just adopt a self righteous doctrine that would separate you from others.   
I'm not even saying Christianity is a bad thing and can be a productive way of keeping thought, while applying deep hidden truth, although they are so hidden within the current organizational structures.   The bad part is that man has claimed it for themselves, rewritten it over and over, and each group thinks they're doing it a little better than the ones before.  I always thought GCM's "this ain't your grandparents church" was a pretty arrogant motto.    I feel GCM takes it to another level of elitism and group pressure.   
They're able to put their "GOD" in your head, along with the self domestication that forms from of group mentality.   If you do it right, you're accepted and everyone is happy.   If you start doing it different, you get a talking to.    I don't care what people choose to believe, but I do care when groups have an interest in overstepping the free will of others, and will conspire against when one leaves or doesn't want to listen anymore.   

There's much more to my story and I'm just happy to be out of it and I get to be me.     There's nothing better than knowing who you are and expressing it in our own worlds.   I hope the same for my kids.   I'm here to talk if anyone feels stuck or has slowly died in one of these organizations.   It took a lot of courage and I've been though the backlash of leaving, but its way better on the other side.  One of the hidden truth gems in Christianity :  Fear of man will prove to be a snare

[Linda]

I am so sorry. Thank you for taking the time to share. I'm glad you're here. Welcome.

[FeministRebel]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. I know a lot of what you're talking about. I was in the GCX church in Ames, from 1995 to 2003. I feel ashamed that I fell for such a stupid cult.

[JesusFacePalm]

Interesting,   You probably know me, because that's the church I joined in 2000.