New Perspective

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Time2Write]

I left a very weird church in Des Moines. I want to say it is a cult, but I'm not 100% sure that it is. There were normal aspects to the church. Nobody asked me to drink Kool-Aid, or wear a funny suit. The majority of the people were so very nice. When I first heard that it had been accused of being cult-"like", I was somewhat skeptical. The further away I move from it, the more I wrestle with whether or not it was one. What makes it so confusing is that so many of the friends I made (including those who are leading in some capacity) were well intended. As I look back, I don't think that a cult has to be so "out there", if you know what I mean. It might be 95% right on, but only 5% off.

Some things that got me thinking were:

1. People never seemed to leave under normal circumstances; meaning they didn't leave because the Holy Spirit led them. They were always told to "seek first the Kingdom", which usually meant to seek it here in town. When people did leave, it was as if they were suddenly cut-off from you, even if they moved to another side of town. It was always inferred that there was sin in their lives. Also, I found out after leaving that most people who suddenly "disappeared" had questioned leadership, but we (the flock) were only told a spin as to why they left.
I hate to say it, but for a while, I gave people the cold shoulder when they left. Since leaving, I have experienced that. I feel so bad that I made people feel that way  

2. Appointing many young leaders who had no formal education. I found out recently that a young man is being appointed as a pastor, and I do not believe that he handles scripture well. When I brought this up to a friend who is still in and asked her if she is at all concerned about this, she basically said that I was being arrogant. I thought her reply was somewhat arrogant.

3. Controlling time and controlling emotions. There was no shortage of keeping busy. Also, we had "accountability" where every member of the bible study gave their purity statistics each week. I'm really pissed as to why I ever participated in this and why it didn't make me run for the doors!

4. Twisting of Scriptures. Context, context, context! Actually, this should probably be a subpoint of #2.

5. Telling people not to date. I was actually told that there is a dating policy by a leader. I think they thought I was more loyal and "committed" than I actually was.

6. There was pressure put on Resident Assistants to invite people to campus meetings and you were pressured to apply to be an RA for the freshman dorms as it was a more fertile mission field.

7. They were the only church and only movement that was really doing something about the Great Commission! It was such an inward looking group!

I attended another church in Des Moines for a while and saw some people who had left before I did. It was so weird. I thought that they would be angry at me because I bought into all the lies that were told about them (from a pastor nonetheless). They were not malicious towards me, nor was the church they attended apathetic towards the gospel! Since leaving, I have been afforded several opportunities to interact with other people who have left. They have told me concerns other leaders in the city have. They are basically blacklisted in the community.

Recently I was asked to give money to one of their "missionaries". I met with them and felt so sorry for them. I told them that the church is seen negatively in the community. Their answer was that evangelism brings about persecution and they pointed out to me that many famous Christians have been partnering with the church and speaking there. Funny how they won't talk to you until they need money!

In summary, I am gone and am still concerned about people that remain. It was hard to break the ties. Was I in a cult? All I can say is that some days it sure did feel like it. I know I'm not the only one! I had serious talks with people who began suffering from depression and some had even contemplated suicide. I wish this wasn't true. That's why I'm writing. If you are in and need to get out, you can! If you have ever had that sinking feeling that something wasn't quite right, it's because it isn't! If you are at all like me, you asked more questions when you first came around, but after a while you began to get worn down or apathetic and made excuses to justify the things that are so very, very wrong. Beware of the false teachers!

[Innerlight]

Is this church affiliated with Drake in Des Moines.  By affiliated I mean they heavily evangelize on campus?

[Linda]

Welcome and I'm sorry for all you've been through.

This caught my eye:

I attended another church in Des Moines for a while and saw some people who had left before I did. It was so weird. I thought that they would be angry at me because I bought into all the lies that were told about them (from a pastor nonetheless). They were not malicious towards me, nor was the church they attended apathetic towards the gospel!

One of the blessings of running into others who have left a GC church is that you "instantly" are on the same page. It is very freeing to find someone who understands because they have been there. God bless you, Time2Write.

[Janet Easson Martin]

  "I have spoken openly to the world," Jesus answered him. "I have always taught in the synagogue and in the temple complex, where all the Jews congregate, and I haven't spoken anything in secret.                _{John 18:20}    

      I am sooo happy for you.  Your post will help many people.  Enumerating what you observed and personally experienced is great because it gives others actual practices to confront in their own minds.  No one can refute a personal testimony.  The problems and concerns you outlined are very similar to those listed and discussed in the book Toxic Faith by Arteburn and Felton.  The Forward was written by a doctor with New Life Treatment Centers which is a well respected Christian Recovery Program (see their site).  I understand your question about the term "cult".  It is generally used for a church that has the spirit of the anti-Christ, one that denies that Jesus is the Christ.  Some helpfully label churches that uphold Jesus as the Son of God, and part of the three-person God, but USE cult practices with their congregation, as Christian Cults.  The ten very unhealthy or "cult-like" or "toxic" characteristics listed below are a personal paraphrase based on those outlined in the above mentioned book:

1. "Special claims"   - i.e. following the New Testament more closely than any other Christian group  (New Perspective #4, and #7)

2. Authoritarianism   - that everyone should submit to their rule without question and any challenge is perceived as a threat to the system  
                                        (New Perspective #2, #3, #5, and #6)

3. An "Us Versus Them" Mentality   - constantly protecting their territory to establish themselves as a unique higher level of  Christianity and to legitimize themselves as an acceptable Christian organization by perceiving those who question their ways as the enemy  (New Perspective #3, and #7)

4. Punishing those who struggle or falter  - treating them harshly and even publicly attacking and removing those who would upset "their reputation"  (New Perspective #3)

5. Overwhelming Service   - sacrificing family, friends and much more to serve the system, not God, often leading to burn out, depression, and numbness  
                                             (New Perspective #3, #5, and #6)

6. Painful Perfection   - On the outside happy and peaceful, but on the inside emotionally drained and distraught, feeling empty and spiritually dead, inadequate and often hopeless of achieving "perfection".  As my friend astutely observed of the group I was in "Almost everyone was smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside"  (New Perspective #3)

7. Closed Communication   - information is only valid when it comes from the top down or the inside out.  Much spiritual superiority ignoring others as equals who have individual gifts and who (Biblically) should be very important to them and to the body  (New Perspective #  and #7)

8. Legalism   - system of rules and distortions of God's truths leaving Him out of the relationship  (New Perspective #3, #4 and #5)

9. No Real Accountability   - those labeled as "accountable to" or "in support of" are perhaps doing so with a very edited or erased past and present history; and who very likely do not have real knowledge of the actual experiences   of those who were brave enough to leave and free to voice very serious abuses and controls.  A very controlled facade has been placed upon this organization to make it appear as a legitimate and superior christian organization.                                                (New Perspective #5, and #7)

10. Labeling Those Who Oppose   - naming those who oppose their system as "contentious", "bitter", "divisive", "probably never saved",  etc. in order to bring their good judgements  into question, and silencing them to squelch a viable revolt  (New Perspective #1 and #2)

Obviously, these toxic systems are not going to share their list of manipulative ways and biblical errors used to influence the thinking and actions of their "flock".  They use verses taken out of context to support their controlling ways.  The only way one can get the real truth about what these groups actually teach and enforce and do is through someone who has witnessed or been part of these practices on the inside, and then later been brave enough to tear themselves out so they can be free to TALK on the outside.  This site provides a place to do just that.  After leaving, they then progressively discover the errors that were taught them. It seems God does this one layer at a time so we don't go into shock.  It's very difficult to process in the beginning that you yourself have been under so much false teaching.  Denial is definitely easier than confrontation.  Again, I cannot over emphasize getting lots of support from others including strong christians (in healthy normal churches) when leaving.  It's rather shocking to discover just how much was biblically off.  I believe a source stronger than themselves is authoring the lies that keeps their system surviving, and makes not only their followers prisoners of the "toxic" deception, but also the leaders themselves.  They can't see the forest for the trees.  

These unhealthy churches deeply wound the soul and spirit and often the body with pain from stress, instead of nourishing it and as good sheperds do. They steal the life God intended for you to have in very seductive and subtle ways so you almost don't even realize its happening.  I agree that many are nice people with good intentions, and think they are serving God.  But they have been duped, deceived, and led astray from the one who thrives on deceiving God's own.  

Later, many will thank you.  But now they may ignore or reject or even slander you.  I pray God will continue to lead you on His path of freedom in faith.  I also pray he will deliver those still in these toxic systems to feel the glorious freedom of a very personal adventure with our real Sheperd, Jesus Christ, in the context of a healthy church.

Thankful for You,

Janet

[Linda]

They steal the life God intended for you to have in very seductive and subtle ways so you almost don't even realize its happening.  I agree that many are nice people with good intentions, and think they are serving God.  But they have been duped, deceived, and led astray from the one who thrives on deceiving God's own.

Great post, Janet. Thanks.

[trthskr]

Thank you, Janet!  That was an excellent post....timetowrite...It hurt me a lot when people gave me the cold shoulder after I left.  But you know what?  Eventually I was grateful.  There are few people that I am still friends with in the church and I was able to realize that they were my "real" friends.  I had some friends who had similar cold shoulder experiences after leaving their sororities.  You can't lose real friends by choosing to go to a different church.

[Anonymous]

Time2Write, I find myself in agreement with all seven of the points you list in the first post.

If you have ever had that sinking feeling that something wasn't quite right, it's because it isn't! If you are at all like me, you asked more questions when you first came around, but after a while you began to get worn down or apathetic and made excuses to justify the things that are so very, very wrong.

Hm, I have had this feeling the entire time I have been involved with GCM...