SChase & syrex314

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[ScottChase]

Hi,
Well I just found this website tonight and not sure were all realy to begin. I know my name isn’t very cryptic and if anyone here knows who I am and once considered me a friend I would love to talk to you.
I guess first I woudl have to say it really hurts me still to hear of Steve Bush’s continuing troubles. He is a man that I once considered a friend of mine and looked up to when I was younger. At the same time I would say he is an example of a great deal of what I see as wrong in GCM.
On dating I experienced the pratice of asking leadership before starting a relationship and would say in retrospect that this practice has damaged me and others in many ways. Nothing I have experienced can equal the wound created after a person goes through all these steps gets leaderships approval of the relationship and then when you go to initiate things you get turned down. At the time is almost seems as if the will of God is bashing you into the ground if you believe what you have been told. Later on I was asked to help another brother in the church with the same issue of being turned down after all lights were green and saw the same feelings in him and in disgust my council to him may have been some of the most destructive words I have ever uttered. I have no idea were he is at now and haven’t seen him in 2 years but from my own experience I want to but won’t condemn myself.
I have to admit I was never in leadership myself but instead for almost 5 years I was the guy just on the edge the one who was sent in to help new groups grow and rebuild well at least I felt that way. I know that in the time I was part of The Rock I was on more small groups then any other person bya fairly large number for that sort of thing. It was hard on me constantly having to make new friends and now I woudl say I am scarred no longer do i want to meet new peopel adn start new relationships now my life consist mainly of solitude at my home with some interaction with people at work.
I have to admit at this point in my life I have almost completly fallen out of my walk with God. I didn’t join GCM as a new believer but came to know the Lord as a child and because of this I believe was always looked down upon maybe because I no longer had that new believer zeal. As a believer for almost 20 years now i no longer knwo waht to believe not because God has let me down but because from my experiences I have found I cannot trust the church and must not trust the church if I hope to retain even a tiny bit of myself.
Well I guess thats all for tonight , Sorry to dump some her ebut I believe I have been looking for this group for a long time now.

[sistanchrist]

SChase,

I didn’t know that you were one of us. I am glad to see that you left. It seems that a number of us from that sg/dt are joining the ranks of de-commissioned. I know that a lot that you speak of on the dating factor is not to much fun from the woman’s side of things either. I received counsel not to court someone who was close to you by our small group leaders after he had received counsel to do so. We ended up courting but the Rock’s stereotypical relationship pattern got in the way of God and we ended that.

I would love to hear more of your story other then the snippets that I got at small group when you had come into it. Shoot me an email at sistaNChrist@gmail.com or for a less cryptic attempt at saying Hi form a former small group member.

[MidnightRider]

In comment 76 SChase wrote:

I have to admit at this point in my life I have almost completly fallen out of my walk with God.

S,

Your feelings are very common among people who have left GCx. After being pumped up with a lot of excitement and being told that GCx is unique in its dedication to reaching the world with the gospel, it can be a big letdown when you leave. Even if your reasons for doing so are good ones.

I can sympathize with a lot of what you said, having been through a couple of relationships inside GCx. It was bad enough for me, but I saw others go through worse.

If it is any help, I can tell you that with GCx 20 years behind me, the whole thing looks different.

[syrex314]

SChase,



Thanks for pointing out this site to me! I haven’t read everything here, but I can relate to everything I’ve seen so far. I still hurt from time to time for my experiences at the Rock. What’s worse, the non-believing friends I have are less likely to want anything to do with Christ after having seen me go through all that.

If a good friend of mine wasn’t there to pull me out, I’d probably be spiritually burned out!



Sista in Christ,

Was I in the sg with you and SChase?

[archive]

SChase,



I’m really glad you found us. Thanks for sharing that. I hope you get the chance to heal and learn lots of ways to look at, talk about and handle complexities in relationships. Enduring the pain of rejection is something I can relate to, but there are ways that this pain can be overcome. I’d also like to share that I’ve found a church where pressure isn’t an issue. My new pastor’s council is to remember how to live like dancing. Let’s hope we both find our groove again!



Adam

[AgathaL'Orange]

SChase, I do want to give you a little encouragement that after 3 years now, my GC pain has faded quite a bit. I still feel it once in a while and I still have trouble with certain things like reading certain books of the Bible and sometimes even reading the Bible at all. BUT I am able to at least be a part of my new church and listen to the scripture there and pray. For us, we had to go to a completely different “brand” of Christianity. We picked a liturgical church where the “worship leader” is this super old Iraqi guy. I think it’s funny every time I think of it… compare it with the GCx worship leader. Funny.

Anyway, I cannot even imagine the invasion of privacy to have your dating life so open to scrutiny, advice, input, and rules. I feel for you and I hope that eventually that crap is so far in your past you hardly think of it.

Guys– everyone: I am overwhelmed again and again at the strange abuses and liberties that certain groups within GCx practice. It is so oppressive. And the thought that it often happens to kids and young adults in the very vulnerable time of life when they have left their families and gone to college makes me shudder.

Some of you guys out there, Dan, Nate, Kirsten… it seems that you aren’t like this… or at least don’t want to be!!!!! But the stories just keep rolling in. wow. Don’t know what to say.

[Dipping my toes in....]

SChase - Welcome. You’re not alone! There’s a lot of people here (me included) that can relate to what you’re going through. I’m four years out of a GCM church and I’m still sorting out my wounds and beliefs and faith. At first it was really disconcerting and scary to not know where to hang my hat regarding my faith and beliefs, to use a figure of speech. But I find myself surprisingly content now, even though I’m still uncertain. There’s a certain freedom in being OK with not having all the answers.



Stick around, I hope this site does good things for you. And I can’t remember exactly how it goes, but as ex-shep keeps saying, take what you will and leave the rest. Sorry if I botched that terribly, ex-shep!!!!

[sistanchrist]

syrex314,
No we weren’t on the same small group, I know a lot of your old small group though. You might remember me if you saw me, but other then the occasional service project we never really interacted. Feel free to shoot me an email at sistaNChrist@gmail.com

[nateswinton]

“But the stories just keep rolling in.”

As I’m cataloging all the anecdotes on this blog, I’m increasingly concerned. Since almost every thread on this blog is off-topic now, there are personal anecdotes on every topic in every thread. But when you categorize them all and look at them together, it’s staggering. When 15-20 people share similar stories from 8-10 churches about what seems to be overt dysfunction, it’s alot harder to say “it seems like there may have been a misunderstanding”.

[Angry]

Thank you for understanding our frustrations, Nate.

Angry

[exshep]

Hi, S Chase. A belated welcome aboard. I can nod my head in agreement over the disillusionment and dating issues.

I had a friend in GC, so was never on the inside. I came close, but God intervened. I felt a sense of disillusionment for years after I left my groups. It did come back in time. I can relate to your story.

Feel free to shoot me an email if you want. familiadegatos@hotmail.com

I heard about the El Paso church from the Faithwalkers feeds. Based on what I gleaned, and I still do not have all the facts lined up; it does leave me with an eerie feeling.