Sounds too familiar...

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[soundstoofamiliar]

wow, I’ve just found this website and blog. I’m a former GCM’er… and it all sounds too familiar. I can’t believe others have had similar widespread experiences. I just want to say thank you for having this forum… It has taken me a long time to figure things out with the GCM mess at my campus. It helps to know that I’m not crazy and that these things really were taught, with pressue. I am so glad to be out from all the pressure–to be “good” members– all the unspoken, yet powerful rules. For a long time I didn’t want to go to church anywhere just because I felt sick of it. Then I started going to a healthy church where I just went to worship– to just go to church, nothing else. I has been a slow process of recovery.

Here’s some rules I remember: Being a good Christian means you need to have a quiet time every morning– and no, evening quiet times aren’t as good– it’s better to get up before dawn if you’re really committed to following God, Don’t marry the wrong person– someone the staff doesn’t approve of, don’t date anyone– dating is wrong!, just wait forever to be asked out meanwhile your college young years of potential valuable healthy dating learning experience are passing away, don’t talk to/associate with people who have left the church– there’s something wrong with them!, don’t be alone with a man– you will in no time be having sex, don’t dress feminine– it will cause men to stumble right before your eyes because men have no choice– God made them this way and they can’t ever overcome their lust; don’t work in the professional world– it’s more Christian and better if you go on staff– it’s God best for you to go on staff, if you want to marry a godly man– marry a pastor or a pastor in training, theology? seminary? no, we don’t need that, Please write down on a sheet of paper how many people have been saved this week because you shared the gospel with them, if you don’t do something people are damned, it’s all up to you to get them saved, don’t hang out with people from outside the church– unless you are trying to win them over….

AUGH!

I guess it’s obvious I’m still upset and recovering. I can’t believe I believed these rules were the “right way”. I always hated it when I felt someone was my friend only to mentor me, not because they wanted to be my friend. Who wants to be a project?

Thank you for listening and having this much needed forum.

[soundstoofamiliar]

Dear Dipping my toes in…..,

I just read your account of your experience. We could have been at the same church. If not, It’s sad that this is all too common. There was an eery pattern of this happening multiple times at my church. That’s when I started to clue in a little bit but it took me a really long time. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I am sorry if I was one of the ones that shunned you. I was wrong.

I’m glad you are find healing.

I’m glad I found this forum.

Thank you for your honesty.

[Dipping my toes in....]

I’ve been reading older topics for various reasons and came across your posts, soundstoofamiliar. I don’t always check this blog every day, so I often miss some things that get posted. Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond! Glad you’re here and that you’re getting some of your story out. It does really help to know that you’re not the only one, doesn’t it?

I can’t tell if we were from the same church - I’m not sure cause some of the “rules” you remember sound familiar, but others don’t. I don’t really want to “locate” myself publically yet, though. I’ve given the moderators permission to pass my e-mail address to people that are from the same church I went to, so if you’re interested in finding out at least if we went to the same place, you can e-mail them and if we were, then we can talk some more via e-mail, perhaps!