WCCC Soon-to-be-Leaver

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[liberated]

Hello.

I thought I'd leave a brief intro here and ask questions in another post.

I have been involved with WCCC since my freshman year at Drake. I became a Christian a couple of months into the school year and have been involved with the Campus Fellowship group since then. I guess I have the same story as most Walnut Creekers. I got really involved with bible studies and outreach events, lifegroups and mission trips. If there was a service project, I was there. Volunteer opportunities, I was there. Help needed at the nursery or in the kitchen, I was there. I drove people to and from church. Convinced countless people to come to our big group hangouts. Shunned those who left the church, acted like every word out of the leaders' mouths was gospel truth, felt like we had got church right and nobody else did. You name it, I did it.

I thought that I would spend my life serving this church in Des Moines or anywhere else that they wanted to send me. I pledged loyalty to this church over my family and friends and myself (even if I didn't know it then).

Fast forward four and a half years of this, and I find myself questioning if loyalty to your church for life is right. I find myself wondering if the desires that I have to serve God elsewhere could possibly be the right thing for my life. And as I work this out, I realize that I have been placed in the same category as people who are misguided and not following God's will for their lives. I haven't even left yet and already I am being shunned and avoided, already I hear the whispers and see the looks.

So that's my story, or at least the beginning of it.

Fast forward

[blonde]

In Philippians 2 Paul deals with both sides of this matter. He gives us good theology in the first 11 verses and then begins to apply it in the verses that follow.

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Phil. 2:12,13)

It is good what you are going through, sorting out your walk with God and Christ.  It is a struggle and will be until you are old and grey.  By that age, you'll realize not everything is so pressing and urgent.  It's OK to be at home, on a church night watching Sleepless in Seattle with some friends with a bottle or two of red wine.  You could complain how Tom Hanks is just an idiot for not seeing the love of his life right in front of him thanks to his rebellious kid.

[EverAStudent]

Greetings Liberated, and welcome to the forum.

Regarding the doubts about whether it is proper in God's eyes to serve in ministries other than GC, I can offer what the Bible records.  Paul was ushered into ministry by Barnabas and ultimately ended up in Antioch as a minister.  Paul left Antioch and went to places no Christian had gone before, part of the time with Barnabas, sometimes without, sometimes with Luke, sometimes without. 

Rome was founded without any apostolic leadership, but Paul did not condemn the church as being outside of God's will. 

My point is this is, since the apostles had no organizational alliances but worked well alone or in groups, apart or together, why on earth would God suddenly decree that ministry can only happen via one tiny sect of the church in the 21st Century?  He would not. 

God does not like arrogance and pride, and no local church organization is God's favored chosen instrument of ministry, regardless of what they might claim about themselves.

[Unknowntoall4ever]

Make no mistake, God knew when he saved you in this group that he did so for a reason.  What a wonderful story of God saving you while in college.

It's sad to hear many of these things but I am glad that you, in your own personal walk with the Lord, are getting past many of these wrong behaviors and attitudes.  Have you talked with those who encouraged your shunning of others, pedestaling of leaders, and elitist attitude?  If so, have you talked to any leaders (campus leader, staff, or pastor) about this?  I would definitely approach them about your feelings and concerns and would encourage you to stay on the high ground.  Biblically, I think you're kind of commanded to do so out of love for Jesus and love for His children.

James 5:19-20
19 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, 20 let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

Try to get past feelings, vibes, and impressions and talk specifics, events, and things that were said or done.  As Christians we should be above all reproach in this area and communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully with each other.  If the leaders and pastors are not committed to a God-honoring process in this whole thing, contact their national board about it (http://www.gccweb.org/about/history/accountability).

It's undeniable God's called every Christian to His church for life, let's not get that wrong.  Committing to a local church, for any length of time, is a matter of personal conviction and leading of the Holy Spirit.  I am thankful for many brothers and sisters in my life who have helped me to challenge my personal convictions.  But, they have never thought me less a Christian for sometimes having a different personal conviction based off God's word.  I would hope and pray your friends don't do this to you either and that you personally look to God's word, His kingdom, and His righteousness as you challenge and develop your personal convictions.

[Linda]

It's undeniable God's called every Christian to His church for life, let's not get that wrong.

Where do you get this idea?

Once you are a Christian you are part of the Church (big C) which is the Bride of Christ. You don't commit to the Big C church for life, if you are a Christian, you are part of it already. No need to commit.

It seems to me that the God honoring process is to talk to the elders/pastors/whatever of these INDEPENDENT churches that have joined the GC association and inform them of their error. If they don't correct their error, the way to honor God is to expose their error.

In our case, it was quite simple because 2 of our pastors were on the national board. We informed them of their error, they didn't correct it. No workie.

As it turns out, it didn't work because the false teaching is in the DNA of the group. It's a core value.

It's sectarian, divisive, and denies the Lordship of Christ. It's a bad deal. The God honoring thing to do is expose it with the hope that members will be warned and elders/pastors/whatever will see the error of their ways and change.

My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

Great point. I like to think of this forum as an attempt to bring back those who have wandered from the truth.

[Neverbeengcm]

Liberated,

First of all, I want to welcome you to this forum.  It is a safe place where you can tell your story in your own words without fear of retribution from the church. I can feel your pain.  Trying to do what your mind tells you is right while the church leaders tell you that it is wrong to go against them makes you feel guilty about thinking outside their little box.  I am glad you have found the strength to do what your heart tells you is right.

It gives me joy to see that you were willing to volunteer in so many ways.  I have always believed that it is our duty to help others in whatever ways we can. I further believe that selflessly volunteering is always rewarded by God.  One of those gifts from God is the beautiful joy you feel in your heart when your efforts result in a better place for someone else.
 
That feeling of guilt in your heart for not fully believing the church’s teachings is complicated when you also feel some guilt about recruiting others who are in need of God’s grace into a church that is too all-consuming.  God has built into all of us a compass that points us toward him. Sometimes when we do something we know is wrong, we feel guilt. That guilt can come from knowingly (or even subconsciously knowing) that you are going to mislead someone who seeks God into falling into a group that will teach them to glorify the church as much as they glorify God. Your instinct regarding the church is a sign from God that you may be doing something wrong when recruiting homesick kids for the church.  The Great Ommision is on countless cult warning sites for their controlling ways and their misrepresentation of the holy Bible. They have separated many innocent young people from their families using the methods you describe.  I am glad you were able to see that there are many other churches out there that Glorify God instead of the church.

Regarding our friend “unknowntoall4ever”; I LOVE how the pastors of Great Commission and their supporters try to talk us into stopping the habit of thinking on our own. They are afraid that people will start doing that nonsensical thing we call “using the brain God gave us”.  I am sorry he is attempting to subject you to more of the twisted thinking that GCx pastors use. I like how he believes that contacting ANY great commission site will actually change the way a Great Commission Church operates.  I always say ignorance is bliss.  He blissfully believes that the GCx leadership will hear your story and change that church’s policy into one that honors the Holy word in a way that is respectful or meaningful to you.  Good luck with that.

Make no mistake, God knew when he saved you in this group that he did so for a reason.  What a wonderful story of God saving you while in college.

It's sad to hear many of these things but I am glad that you, in your own personal walk with the Lord, are getting past many of these wrong behaviors and attitudes.  Have you talked with those who encouraged your shunning of others, pedestaling of leaders, and elitist attitude?  If so, have you talked to any leaders (campus leader, staff, or pastor) about this?  I would definitely approach them about your feelings and concerns and would encourage you to stay on the high ground.  Biblically, I think you're kind of commanded to do so out of love for Jesus and love for His children.

It's undeniable God's called every Christian to His church for life, let's not get that wrong.

Unknowntoall4ever uses classic GCx wording when he twists your being indoctrinated into the GCx cult while away from home into “a wonderful story of God saving you while in college”.    That line made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. (Sorry, I call it like I see it).  

We don’t have to give our very life to our pastor or his church. I know some of these men (GCx Pastors).  They are just as human as the rest of us.  In spite of what they may mislead you into believing, a Great Commission pastor is not God, Jesus or and Apostle. He is just a man.  We all are given a brain to use and we all have the God given freedom to go to whatever church we feel is right for us.  There should be no pressure felt from the church if we want to attend another one…absolutely no pressure at all.  The great commission attitude is that they own you.  I can assure you that they do not.  

I am glad you have decided to use your freedom to choose in a sensible way.  May God Bless You in your search for the truth.

[Unknowntoall4ever]

Unknowntoall4ever uses classic GCx wording when he twists your being indoctrinated into the GCx cult while away from home into “a wonderful story of God saving you while in college”.    That line made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. (Sorry, I call it like I see it). 

I doubt that someone coming to know Jesus would elicit the same response from anyone in heaven.  Sorry, I call it like I see it.

God's story is always a wonderful story and it is wonderful when anyone ever turns from death to life.  Can I get an Amen!?

Luke 15:7,10
7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
10 Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Liberated, I just want to encourage you along the lines of Matthew 18 as the way to address people when they sin against you.  I'll take my authority from the Word of God and I encourage everyone else to do likewise.  Even if there's no change God is honored by our simple obedience to His word.  Even if there's no change believing and living by God's word will grow our character to become more like Him.  I'll gladly preach the gospel to people even if they never change because it honors my Father.  I'll gladly follow Matthew 18 even if I don't think I'll get the result I want.  Can I get an Amen?!

[Linda]

Matthew 18 does not apply to false teaching.

[EverAStudent]

Matthew 18 does not apply to false teaching.

The process of going to your brother privately when he sins against you, then taking a witness with you if he does not repent, then taking every member of the church if he still does not repent, and then removing him from church fellowship if he still does not repent COULD be applied to false teaching.  When you know the false teacher personally, it is a good process to follow.

However, as John exemplified for us, when a false teacher goes public it is good and proper to also simply rebuke them in writing in public without going to them in person first.  This is how the Apostle John handled Diotrephes (3 John 1:9).

In fact, Paul also named the names of false teachers in many of his public writings without necessarily first going to the false teacher in person. 

Of course, the problem GC has traditionally had in following Matthew 18 is that they often skipped right from 2 witnesses to ejecting a person from the church instead of first asking every member of the church to plead with the sinner to repent.  Their use of Matthew 18 was traditionally very biased and skewed, very hypocritical, "You have to follow Matthew 18 in every technicality or we will not listen to you, but, we can take short cuts with it to get rid of you."  sigh....

[Linda]

I was typing from my phone, hence my short post.

I agree with you. It is a great idea to approach people you know with concerns over their teaching. We did that, as a matter of fact. It didn't help, but we did it with those verses in mind.

What I was trying to say though, is that Matthew 18 is not in the context of false teaching, but personal sin.

If John Piper, or C. J. Mahaney or Mike Murdock teaches something that is wrong, I don't have to go to them to make my opinion known that what they are teaching is wrong. If I publicly challenge their teaching, I am not violating Matthew 18. That's what I was trying to say. And, I think that is what you were saying, as well.

The other interesting thing about Matthew 18 if it is applied to false teaching is how do you tell the whole church if they don't correct the false teaching? I guess you post on a warning web site.

[Neverbeengcm]

Unknowntoall4ever uses classic GCx wording when he twists your being indoctrinated into the GCx cult while away from home into “a wonderful story of God saving you while in college”.    That line made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. (Sorry, I call it like I see it).  

I doubt that someone coming to know Jesus would elicit the same response from anyone in heaven.  Sorry, I call it like I see it.

God's story is always a wonderful story and it is wonderful when anyone ever turns from death to life.  Can I get an Amen!?

God’s story is a wonderful story.  But, the recruiting by GCx of our friend (liberated) while he/she was in college is spun in a different direction by “unknowntoall4ever”. Recruiting by power hungry religious sects such as GCx is not a beautiful thing for me.  It actually does make me get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that is sickening. Those folks who are in the GCx organization do not want to hear about how much hurt the separation of loved ones causes those of us who have had their loved ones taken from us by their church.

I have friends, family members and loved ones who have been recruited into the Great Commission (or groups like GCx) during the same time period in their lives described by Liberated.  They lost years of their lives to the power hungry and overzealous religious organizations who have taken/scheduled their lives away from their families and friends for many years.   Some of these people lost periods of time in their lives when they could have gotten closer to family and friends who died while they were being misguided into devoting their lives to their church leadership.  They will never get those years back.  They will never get the chance to emotionally connect with those people who were so important to them during their lives.  The church scheduled their time in such a way and warped their thinking in such a way that they were no longer able to emotionally connect with those who cared about them.  The feeling of loss for them tears at my heart. When I see a post where someone tries to spin this time lost into a wonderful, beautiful thing, it really does not elicit many positive feelings.

[Unknowntoall4ever]

Thank you Neverbeengcm for your thoughts and advice for our sister, Liberated.

I appreciate your heart for not wanting other people's lives to be wasted.  I also wish for every believer to be able to live their lives in full, unhindered obedience to God not man and the advancement His Kingdom and not anyone else's(sp?).

[trthskr]

Liberated,

I left the church after 3.5 years at Drake.  BEST. DECISION. EVER.  Your answer as to whether or not to leave came in the form of your "friends" ignoring you.  The same thing happened to me.  A loving church family is loving to all people, whether or not they go to the same church as you do.  I grew up in church...sometimes people would decide to worship elsewhere.  It was completely acceptable and would be completely out of line for one to shun a fellow Christian for choosing to worship elsewhere.  You may be told that if you leave the church you will stop following God, will be living in sin within 5 years, etc, etc.  Some people who have left have been so fed up with the religiousness they were involved with in GCM that they do, unfortunately leave the faith...but that usually indicates that they weren't truly saved to begin with.  Take a look at the people who left the church while you were there... most are still living their faith out and I bet if you ask them they would say they are happy with their choice.  Pray about your decision and God will give you the answer of what you should do.  There are a lot of Drake kids on this site...take a look and I'm sure you'll recognize some people you can reach out to for guidance.  You can always PM me as well.

Unknowntoallforever,

Your friend is about to be liberated.  You aren't going to change his mind by posting more GCM verbage on the site.  It didn't change my mind when my friends tried to 4 years ago.  He or she will still be a Christian, and you can still fellowship with them just the same.  If God is calling them to go to a different church, who the heck are you to try and change their mind?

[Unknowntoall4ever]

Your friend is about to be liberated.  You aren't going to change his mind by posting more GCM verbage on the site.  It didn't change my mind when my friends tried to 4 years ago.  He or she will still be a Christian, and you can still fellowship with them just the same.  If God is calling them to go to a different church, who the heck are you to try and change their mind?

If you were careful to read my post you would notice I'm not trying to persuade anyone one way or another.

God calls us to a process that honors Him when we feel we've been hurt by other Christians (Matthew 18).  Liberation outside of God's word is not a liberation I would ever want to be a part of.  Matthew 18 applies.  It is impossible for me to be in fellowship with anyone who has chosen to not obey God's word.

If you want to equate me to a GCwhatever person because of my counsel to turn to Matthew 18 then your insinuation missed the point.  Let God's word be proven true in every situation and every man be proven a liar in it's light.

[Linda]

Fast forward four and a half years of this, and I find myself questioning if loyalty to your church for life is right...And as I work this out, I realize that I have been placed in the same category as people who are misguided and not following God's will for their lives. I haven't even left yet and already I am being shunned and avoided, already I hear the whispers and see the looks.

Obviously, we just know a bit of the story, but from what we have been told, there are two things going on with liberated. First, liberated is rightly questioning the bad theology of committing to a local 501c3 non-profit tax exempt church for life.

Publicly questioning that without following Matthew 18 is not dishonoring to God.

The second thing that liberated seems to be saying is that he/she actually did follow Matthew 18 and mention his/her concerns to church leaders and members. If the concerns hadn't been brought to the group, why would liberated think he/she had been placed in the "misguided" category and sense a shunning?

The problem here is that there are 2 things going on. One involves bad teaching and the other involves the reaction of church members when the bad teaching is pointed out.

It seems to me that liberated has followed Matthew 18 and the result is a shunning. Liberated is free to move on to Matthew 23. Make no man your master.

[Neverbeengcm]

Sometimes it feels like I am fighting against the devil to free the souls temperarily lost to the control of the Great Commission.  Lies, twists of the truth, confusing useage of Bible verses and misleading statements seem to be the norm for those GCx people attempting to recover their losses whenever someone wants to leave a GC church. Why not let them make a decision without being tormented by slanted views and controling words.  Classic GCx teachings use sections of Bible verses and twisted interpretations of these partial Bible verses to coerce individuals back into the sect.

If you take every 4th word out of sentence. the entire meaning of the sentence can be changed.  Similarly, the GCx leadership takes portions of Bible verses to change the meaning of them.  What Unknowntoall4ever continues to do is lie:

Your friend is about to be liberated. If you were careful to read my post you would notice I'm not trying to persuade anyone one way or another.

Your claim that you are not trying to persuade anyone is obviously a lie.  Do you people understand what lying is?  In its very essence, a lie is something said with intent to deceive. You are telling us that you are not trying to persuade "liberated" to do anything in your posts.  I see it differently. The facts clearly show that you ARE trying to persuade our friend liberated to go back to The Great Commission to talk to them to see if they can re-assimilate him/her back into the GCx.

Make no mistake, God knew when he saved you in this group that he did so for a reason.  What a wonderful story of God saving you while in college.

It's sad to hear many of these things but I am glad that you, in your own personal walk with the Lord, are getting past many of these wrong behaviors and attitudes. Have you talked with those who encouraged your shunning of others, pedestaling of leaders, and elitist attitude?  If so, have you talked to any leaders (campus leader, staff, or pastor) about this?  I would definitely approach them about your feelings and concerns and would encourage you to stay on the high ground.  Biblically, I think you're kind of commanded to do so out of love for Jesus and love for His children.

James 5:19-20
19 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, 20 let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

Try to get past feelings, vibes, and impressions and talk specifics, events, and things that were said or done.  As Christians we should be above all reproach in this area and communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully with each other.  If the leaders and pastors are not committed to a God-honoring process in this whole thing, contact their national board about it (http://www.gccweb.org/about/history/accountability).

It's undeniable God's called every Christian to His church for life, let's not get that wrong.  Committing to a local church, for any length of time, is a matter of personal conviction and leading of the Holy Spirit.  I am thankful for many brothers and sisters in my life who have helped me to challenge my personal convictions.  But, they have never thought me less a Christian for sometimes having a different personal conviction based off God's word.  I would hope and pray your friends don't do this to you either and that you personally look to God's word, His kingdom, and His righteousness as you challenge and develop your personal convictions.

I don't know what the rest of you think.  But, to me, it sure sounds like Unknowntoall4ever is trying to talk Liberated into going back to the WCCC church to talk to everyone there and then contact "The national Board" to see if they can perhaps change his/her mind. Unknowntoall4ever also tried to coerce Liberated in other subtle ways to go back to the WCCC to allow them a chance to put pressure on him/her.

A lie is a lie..now I think someone needs to repent.

Why can't you give Liberated some grace and allow them to either stay at WCCC or leave to find another church using the instincts that God gave him/her?  The Bible does not say anything about us being responsible to or committing our lives to attend any specific church. The Bible does not say anything about reponsibility to tell ANYONE why we choose to attend or leave a given church. The choice to express our love for God and Jesus Christ at the church of our choosing is a personal choice. The Great Commission would prefer that we don't not talk about our rights to life, liberty and the persuit of happiness.

[MarthaH]

I received an email a few days ago, and thought I would respond on the forum. I would offer my experience for those trying to leave WCCC, particularly for liberated. One thing I would like to mention at the onset is that I am now writing from a perspective of someone who was very angry when I first left, but now am honestly at a point where I can differentiate between my good experiences there and the negative and not feel bitter. Also, I was able to regain some of the friendships to various degrees with many of the people there. What I am about to write is not out of bitterness or slanderous, but rather is my observations regarding the difficulties to approach leadership and to actually leave.

When people try to leave or have problems within the church, they are taught the message of reconciliation out of Matthew 18. The context of this message, however, is how to restore a brother who is practicing sin. Understand that! This is to be used to gently restore a brother who is in sin within the church. This is unfortunately misapplied within the GC structure to where a congregant is told to approach a teacher of the word privately to show them their concerns over abusive practices. Scripture addresses the issue of addressing errant leaders elsewhere. I also was encouraged to talk with leadership regarding my concerns. Here is a sample of what I brought up:
1. Loyalty was misused. People were being asked to commit to one church (not the church universal) for life.
2. There was an elitism whereas we thought we were better than other churches/groups and were more committed to the spread of the gospel.
3. Believers were always told to seek counsel if they wanted to leave, but the counsel was always to stay and never to leave.
4. There was shunning that went on when people left the group, often being told they were not believers and not being told the true reasons why they left.
5. There were subtle rules, such as a dating policy.

I could bring up more examples and I believe I did when I spoke with the leader. I numbered these cuz I can't figure out how to bullet each point, but they are in no particular order. Now here is what I really want to let people know.

I finally brought these issues up to my Bible study leader and it took a lot of effort because when I did, I felt as if I was betraying God. Later, I found out that a sense of betrayal in bringing up concerns is one of the main indicators of being in a 'high pressure' organization and is actually a form of control and spiritual manipulation. My Bible study leader thought others were whispering in my ear and encouraged me to follow Matthew 18 and talk to a pastor. When I did, the leader acted very humble and thanked me for bringing the issues up and said they would try to address the concerns (they even kind of sympathized with me at the time). At that point I felt relief because I wanted to believe the best in my leaders. As far as I could tell at that point, I was the first person who had ever brought these concerns to their attention (however I wasn't and they never changed).

My experience after I spoke up was that I was being watched more closely, as if I had lost trust. I was passed over to lead a Bible study (which I'm thankful for in hindsight). Shortly after, there was a message from the pulpit on false teachers and slander. In hindsight, I noticed that they spend a lot of time on those subjects. Anyhow, I was afraid to bring things forward after that, but again, things never changed. Finally, I got the courage to leave. I didn't tell anyone and left quietly, but shortly after I left, I was the recipient of 'love-bombing'. People began sending me messages telling me they missed me, loved me and wanted to hang out. I did with one person, only to find out they had been assigned to follow up with me. Long story short (well, it's pretty long right now, isn't it  ), I left for good.

After leaving, I received counseling and was told that I had experienced a controlling church. If you Google the terms "abusive churches" or "controlling churches", you will see some things that may describe your experience in GC to some extent, depending on how far into the "leadership process" you are. Even then, it was hard to come to terms with what I experienced.

I will end by saying this. First, people have been pointing out to leadership the unbiblical applications of scripture within GC for 40 years and they haven't changed. In fact, Google "Great Commission Weakness Paper" (which I didn't know existed until after I left), and you will see the same practices which many currently abhor recognized as error 30 years ago by the same people who are still in leadership. The other thing which I learned after I left is that scripture is very direct about how to handle wrong teaching and practices from elders who misuse the Bible. In 1 Timothy 5, Paul instructed Timothy not to go to someone in private, but rather to bring it before the church if there were adequate enough witnesses. The reason is to protect God's flock from being mishandled. If you follow Matthew 18, you will never have 2 or more witnesses because they will do away with them quietly. Think about it.

My own experience for you, if you are trying to leave WCCC, is to just leave. Tell people after you have left and try to live in peace if it is possible. You are free to write me as well if I can be of any help to you. I will be praying for you.

God bless,
M.H.

19 Don’t accept an accusation against an elder unless it is supported by two or three witnesses.20 Publicly rebuke those who sin, so that the rest will also be afraid. 21 I solemnly charge you before God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels to observe these things without prejudice, doing nothing out of favoritism. 22 Don’t be too quick to appoint anyone as an elder, and don’t share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.

[Linda]

Great post, MarthaH.

[AgathaL'Orange]

I agree, great post.  I have a lot of compassion for those who want or need to leave but have a lot of family in GC.  Sadly, this is a common occurrence.  In many ways, those of us who have NO family in GC are lucky.  We get to leave and if we don't feel like it NEVER HAVE TO HAVE CONTACT AGAIN.  Thank you, GOD!  If you have family though in GC, I encourage you to just leave anyway if you think you should and you are an adult.  Nothing feels as good as freedom and living according to your principles.

[MarthaH]

You know, you are so right about the whole family thing. It must be very difficult to leave if your family (especially a larger one) is involved. I feel a bit of compassion for them. There were quite a bit of second generation GC kids who were moving up through the ranks. I think some of the families felt pressure to send their kids to colleges where there were GC churches. There were quite a few that were alway present in our campus ministries. It is my understanding that many are in leadership now.

My experience was that it only took a few months away from it all to really begin to see all the controls that were upon my life. I spoke with a young person who was warned by a bible study leader that if they studied abroad or went home for the summer, they would be vulnerable to the devil and could fall away (I hope they didn't mean fall away from Christ). That is a fear that a lot of leadership seems to have since many who do get away often do not return. When people get a break from the repeated grind of ministry, they begin to see the experience as unhealthy and often do not rejoin the fellowship. The way leadership spins this is that they were removed from fellowship and were a victim of the evil one.

Get away for a summer! If you are a pharmacy major, do a rotation outside of Iowa! You don't have to do every faithwalkers or summer program or spring break with them. I may write more on that later, but there is a concerted effort among leadership (which I was told of by leadership) to keep people very, very busy (see point #3 in the link, "Rigid, Legalistic Lifestyle").

http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/abuse-ch.html