What Ever Happened to the Study of the Historic Church?

Hi! I was involved in GC churches for almost 20 years. I was always an independent sort, and did not utilize the leadership as my main source of advice, but depended on my family, my co-workers, and my extraneous friends, of which I had many. I also went with friends to their churches at times, and lived with non-GC roommates at various times. All this brought me some objections on the part of concerned leadership, but I didn't really mind too much. I also married without consultation with anyone other than the pastor I felt close to, who happened to be non-American born, and was very open-minded. He remains a pastor in a GC church and I am very close friends with him and his family. That being said, I reached a point about 15 years ago, when I had been through some deaths in my immediate family, and was in deep grief. I could not find peace in upbeat, rock-style Christian music, where the attempt to improve worship involved louder music with more drums. I did not feel close enough to my then pastor to seek counseling from him. So for a while, I stopped going to church, stopped reading the Bible and I cried out to God and listened to the Holy Spirit. What I heard Him say to me, is that, if I would find true worship, I would find peace within my grief. Very shortly thereafter, I read a full page spread in our local newspaper about the Eastern Orthodox celebration of Easter, which amazed me, because it involves 40 days of celebration, following 40 days of Great Lent fasting, prayer and almsgiving. I was intrigued enough to call the local Orthodox priest mentioned in the article. He invited me to come and see Orthodox worship. I was at first, shocked and slightly afraid, as I had been warned so emphatically against anything "Catholic" and this looked pretty Catholic to me. But as I continued to learn and was introduced to what the Church of the first century really looked like, in their worship, government, and doctrines,--an outgrowth of Judaism, with Jesus as God, Lord and Savior, infused into every service of the daily, weekly, and yearly cycle, I bowed in humble acknowledgment of my long time ignorant acceptance of disconnected truths. I have found peace, and the wisdom of 20 centuries of Christian practice which touches on every corner of life.

That being said, I see that the overriding problem in GC and in Protestantism as a whole, is people relying upon themselves, young in faith and experience, as arbiters of the truth. Every person believes they have arrived and that they have the best version of the truth and they are quite pleased with themselves. Ilias the Presbyter from the Early Church Fathers put it this way, "Truth without humility is blind. That is why it becomes contentious: it tries to support itself on something, and finds nothing except rancour." I am still a prideful human being, but I trust Jesus Christ, through his unfailing, visible Church, to guide me to humility, deeper truth, and to heaven. Love and prayers to all who read this forum. Mei Chuen