Yadda, Yadda, Yadda....

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[wombats]

I was first introduced to the church during high school in 1981.  I went to a weekend conference at Clemson's GCI church.  I loved it!  The songs were great.  The people were friendly.  The teaching held my attention.  I had never been a part of something like that before.  Then, during college I became part of a seed church sponsored by Clemson and stayed  involved with that group until I graduated.  

At that point, I moved to Clemson and was a part of that group for a few years.  I then moved to be a part of a seed church outside of Atlanta.  The impetus for my leaving happened when HUGO hit the Carolinas in 1989.  My mother was very sick at the time, and I had gone to visit her a few times.  The storm hit literally while she was having emergency surgery.  No calls could get through to SC for days.  Many of the lines were down.  My pastor didn't want me to go visit her.  He felt my responsibility was with the church.  

That being said, I was at my mother's bedside several hours later, then pacing on my front porch having a near panic attack about leaving Atlanta without the blessing of the leader.  My father found me - set me straight - drove me back to Atlanta to gather my things, and later we ate the fatted calf at the Steak and Ale after loading my things in the U-Haul.

 Before leaving I had felt the uncomfortable jerk of the GCI chain a few times in the past, but was usually given a pretty good amount of slack.  I was always a people person.  I played the guitar, helped lead the music - did goofy shows at outreach gatherings, and on more than one occasion did a real fire dance.  At Leadership Training in DC in 1986, all the guys were expected to sleep in a common room in military bunk-beds.  I managed to have a room to myself. After being told for the umpteen time that brothers should spend time with brothers, I lost it and sponsored a marry me contest.  It included several categories: baking, feats of daring/swimwear, spirituality, and best head-covering.  There were eight contestants.  I declared it a draw, but since the church didn't condone polygamy, I announced that I had to remain single. The leaders let the contest slide.
I guess you want to keep your dancing clown happy....

Over the years, I have revisited this part of my past with a mixture of self loathing, guilt, and confusion.  There are many persons from this group that I still love dearly, and until recently there was a part of me that felt that I was in the wrong - that I had dropped the ball and let them down.  Then even more recently I had a sort of an epiphany/freak-out session during church.  

The pastor quoted a couple of verses from the epistles in succession, and it was like The Manchurian Candidate.  Suddenly memories began flooding back to me, little things about not being allowed to do such and such, not being allowed to have any friends outside of the church, having to live in a house with other people, - I used to do these little non church sponsored comedy shows at the college - the church didn't want that any more.  As a forty-something-year-old adult, these memories were VERY disturbing, and very enlightening.  

I had shoved all those memories into the back of my mind and forgotten them, but they have still affected me.  Ever since I've escaped the GCI's iron curtain, I have been uncomfortable with confrontations, loyal to a fault with something I am involved in.  I've had the same job since I left the church, and I don't take sick days - no matter how sick I am.  (That one drives my wife crazy.)  I never stand up to bullying bosses when I am in the right.  I made my son's life miserable when he started dating. All these behaviors are left over from the past.  

I felt like I needed to visit the church in Clemson, but it isn't listed on the Internet.  I then stumbled upon this site and several others with a similar theme.  GCI was WAY out of step.  Used cult-like methods of controlling persons, ect.  I had no idea that they had even issued an apology for their past actions!  
Talk about a weight off your shoulders.  It wasn't just me.  I wasn't entirely out of step.

[randomous]

FYI, the Clemson church is on the web at http://www.clemsoncc.org

[exshep]

Thanks for the share. I am glad to see you are out.  The old tapes playing in your head is quite common for those in abusive groups, not just GC.  

I tried to listen to the 2006 Darling talk at Faithwalkers. It was a bit much for me.  I had to move on to something else at the time.  Right now I am in the process of relocation and do not have the time nor energy.  I must confess I am becoming to understand the "get with the programme mentality".    I can relate to the stress you were experiencing at the time.  

I also post off the forum at www.spiritualabuse.com . The forum policy does not mention groups per se.  You might find the experience strength and hope helpful.  Anyone finding the post helpful is welcome to take a look.  It is not to draw people away from DeComm, but just to provide another tool in the recovery process.  Take what you like and leave the rest.  Hope this helps.

[wombats]

Thanks to both of you for responding.

[thewombat]

Is the Clemson church now defunct?  Their website doesn't have any updates after 2019, and there isn't a link to a new internet location...

[Janet Easson Martin]

Good question, Wombat. The “GCC” Southeast Church Alliance said “Est. 2018”. Perhaps COVID has temporarily stopped activity there or shut down the Clemson group altogether.

Assuming you are one and the same “wombat” who began this post, I see you were in both Clemson and Atlanta GCI [GCx]. I just read your post (from 2007) at the top for the first time. I didn’t come aboard this site until December 2010. I’m assuming perhaps a lot of people may have missed your early post.

That is simply AWFUL that your GCx leader in Atlanta didn’t want you to go see your mother when she was having emergency surgery (during Hugo), telling you your responsibility was with the church. This is not the first time something like that has been reported on here. Their view of God (and his priorities) is SO messed up. Likely because many of them had left their families in the dust at the beckoning of McCotter year’s before. Jesus confronts the Pharisees about this type of hypocritical devotion regarding their own father and mother in Mark 7.


8Having neglected the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.”

9And He was saying to them, “Neatly do you set aside the commandment of God, that you might keep your tradition. 10For Moses said, ‘Honor your Father and your mother,’ and, ‘The one speaking evil of father or mother must surely die.’ 11But you say that if a man says to the father or the mother, ‘Whatever you might be profited from me, it is Corban,’ that is, a gift, 12no longer do you permit him to do anything for the father or the mother, 13making void the word of God for your tradition, which you have handed down. And you do many things like such.”


As far as our past, God doesn’t call us to be perfect, but to look to him and grow gradually, not overnight. I believe Jesus would say they were hypocrites. The cultlike controlling measures were WRONG. It wasn’t you. They were WAY OUT OF LINE! Anyhow, you’ve likely realized that by now.

[thewombat]

Thanks for your reply.  The pastor who stated that my responsibility was with the church (a seed church on the outskirts of Atlanta) rather than with my ailing mother who was in the hospital during the devastating Hugo hurricane was Steve Nelson.  

[Janet Easson Martin]

Noticed this “pastor” listed himself as a church planter with Reliant on LinkedIn.

Unhealthy non-biblical control of information coming in is what is being taught by GCx leaders. What pastor of a church says the following to his congregation about hundreds of testimonies of spiritual abuse in their church organization, not from someone who wants to discredit their churches to start his own? (Sound familiar?) That information you can discount for questionable or sinful motivation. But, that is NOT the pulse of this site. It for the well-being of thousands of believers exploited and held captive by deception under the ungodly ambition of blind or rebellious leaders.

Here are some of the unscriptural and controlling directives of these leaders (which have appeared before on this site.) This one from the GCx “pastor” in question below:

Summitview Greeley, "Slander and the Christian Walk":
So, you’ve got to be really careful what you let into your ear…for that reason I am not going to tell you guys what that web site [Note: he's talking about gcmwarning.com] is because I don’t think it’s good, I don’t think you should go to it…I just encourage you just don’t even entertain it, don’t pursue it, because it’s gossip. ... I am your spiritual father and I encourage you to follow me, not these slanderers not these people who are talking against me, follow me and I encourage you guys as we are a spiritual family be careful not to give your allegiance to somebody who has no interest in your life, to a slanderer, but I encourage you to give your allegiance to us as a church as a family follow our way of life.