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Author Topic: A personal note from Kathy Darling  (Read 18745 times)
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« on: June 26, 2008, 08:30:40 am »

A personal note from Kathy Darling on Jessica's condition/ and a insight into their deep faith

Dear Friends and Family,
 
I am writing this health and prayer update for my daughter Jessica. Mark thought it might be nice for folks to hear from me this time.

    We feel so fortunate, blessed, and humbled by all of your earnest and heartfelt prayers on behalf of Jessica and our entire family, especially over these past several months. We are also extremely touched and grateful for so many people’s outpouring of love and care shown to us through all your ca  rds, letters, gifts, services and meals! We apologize for not giving each of you a personal thank you, but please know that we greatly appreciate your kindness and encouragement and generosity. It has really helped to carry our burdens and to generously meet our needs. We are so richly blessed!

    When we found out a few weeks ago that the blood tests taken to check for Porphyria, a rare blood disorder, came back negative, Jessica’s hemotologist, as well as both her naturopathic doctor and her primary doctor concluded that she has had an auto-immune hemolytic anemia response due to her receiving chealation IV therapy back in Dec./Jan., which was given to her to help her remove toxic heavy metals from her body. Unfortunately, in this process, it’s been concluded that the cells most likely released the metals, but her body was unable to excrete them properly, and a good amount came pouring out of her skin, with some being still stored up in her tissues. Realizing that the heavy metals needed to still try to be excreted out, it was suggested to try a more mild homeopathic therapy this time around. But even with starting that up, more recently, her body still had a severe reaction, and now again, more of her skin has been severely affected; from her pelvis to her knees, she looks like a burned war victim. Her dermatologist concluded that she should be treated as a burn patient, for which we are currently doing.

    It’s been an unrelenting cycle of pain and exhaustion for Jessy with these delays and fluctuating set backs and we’ve had plenty of bleak and weary moments in caring for her, along with the heart ache of seeing her in tormenting pain, day in and day out. She also has several different uncomfortable and painful symptoms besides just her skin problems. She is presently bedridden and finds it very exhausting and challenging even to maneuver to the bathroom and back. She is on oxygen parts of her day and all night long to help her with her breathing as well as to help restore her skin tissues. She spends all of her day and into the wee hours of the night just tending to her skin and to make it somewhat bearable to even sleep for a few hours.

    Through all of this, we have come to realize and are accepting by faith, that in the greater picture, this is all a part of God’s blessed and sovereign plan, as well as making us partners with Christ in his suffering, (1 Peter 4,) and being fully and prayerfully aware that many, many dear people, both near and far, are experiencing these same types of suffering and even greater than we are. In the mean time our lives are continually being refined and our faith being challenged to the very core, but we’re trusting that God continues to use these perplexing trials to carry out His purposes for His glory.

    This recent scripture passage, coupled with this quote from the book Lean Hard On Jesus has recently refreshed our hearts:
    “Lighten the eyes [of my faith to behold your face in this pitch-like darkness.]” Ps, 13:3 (Ampl.) (*This entire psalm is really good!)
    “In the darkest of valleys, I experienced new depths of his goodness.” –Joyce Rogers.
    “Lighten the eyes [of my faith to behold (new depths of your goodness)…of your faithful love, peace, grace, your nearness, inner strength, your provisions, the love and care from our family in Christ, all this and more, in this darkest of valleys.]”
    “Truly, you are the God of great wonders!” Ps 77:14.

    At this time, we earnestly ask you to pray that we would continue to trust in the Lord and make him our hope and confidence, restfully depending on his grace and mercy, strength and wisdom, and especially for courage, fresh new hope, and inner strength for Jessica to keep moving forward and that she would soon be getting some relief from her painful symptoms and begin to see and experience significant signs of healing, and that God’s peace would guard her heart. “The Lord will sustain, refresh, and strengthen him (her) on his (her) bed of languishing.” Ps 41:3 (Ampl.)

    We are at the mercy of His higher ways, but find great peace in knowing that he cares about us watchfully and he cares about us affectionately, and that we are being carried by countless peoples prayers, lifting us up to the one who is able to do far more than all that we ask or think.

    Lastly, this portion of scripture also has made a lasting mark on our hearts, and may it also do the same for you…

    “And let the peace from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live.] And be thankful, (appreciative,) [giving praise to God always.] Col. 13:15 (Ampl.)
 
Sincerely thanking you again, and may God’s grace be with you.

Love in Christ,

Mark and Kathy, Micah and Jessica Darling
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« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2008, 08:44:30 am »

If you don't like Mark, you cannot help saying he married a wonderful  woman.  Not sure how she writes all this.

-Ex
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Linda
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« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2008, 09:12:25 am »

This is a very sad situation. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for Jessica as well as the entire family. When our children hurt, we hurt. I wish the best for Jessica and her family and pray for her healing.

I, for one, don't hate Mark Darling or any other GC leader. I believe it is possible to disagree with love.

Terry found a very moving article about escaped slave Frederick Douglas from The Weekly Standard.

Here's an excerpt from the article:
Quote
Frederick Douglass marked the tenth anniversary of his escape in a special way. He published in the North Star an open letter to his former owner, Thomas Auld, one of the slaveholders whose religious profession he deemed a travesty. It is a most unusual and highly charged communication, and this is how it ends:

    I will now bring this letter to a close; you shall hear from me again unless you let me hear from you. I intend to make use of you as a weapon with which to assail the system of slavery--as a means of concentrating public attention on the system, and deepening the horror of trafficking in the souls and bodies of men. I shall make use of you as a means of exposing the character of the American church and clergy--and as a means of bringing this guilty nation, with yourself, to repentance. In doing this, I entertain no malice toward you personally. There is no roof under which you would be more safe than mine, and there is nothing in my house which you might need for your comfort, which I would not readily grant. Indeed, I should esteem it a privilege to set you an example as to how mankind ought to treat each other.

    I am your fellow-man, but not your slave.

There is a postscript that cannot be omitted. Twenty-nine years after writing this, Douglass was invited to return to Talbot County, Maryland, for the first time since he had been a slave there. Thomas Auld, over 80 and dying, heard of his presence in the neighborhood and sent for him. Douglass records that he was ushered straight into the bedroom, and the two old men were overcome with emotion. Neither showed malice. Each acknowledged ways he had wronged the other. They "conversed freely about the past" and parted reconciled.


That is an example to follow.
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wastedyearsthere
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« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2008, 01:17:41 pm »

Can someone fill us in on what Jessica's disorder is?  How long she has had it?  How old she is?
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theresearchpersona
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« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2008, 04:02:45 pm »

I don't know about the condition, but from above she had poisoning from heavy metals; your body gets these often, but if enough they cause problems (and they usually accumulate over time).

The Chelation thing is to force those metals out of your tissues (where your body stores them to keep them from circulating) so that they can flush-out of your body...instead it seems they didn't flush out, caused a horrid immune response, and then did flush-out through her skin; a similar thing happens when people get some brands of contrasts for MRIs, where the heavy metals there can cause hardening of all elastic tissues (including the biggies: lungs and internal organs, as well as the skin).

Heavy metals are dangerous--they can embed and cause problems in the brain and the rest of the nervous system, all those organ problems...Chelation therapy is given when pain is occurring and they diagnose the metals in you.

Despite the pain and everything...I think there may be a bright side to all this. They need to check her lungs such to make sure she's not losing elasticity, but if her body tried forcing it out through the skin perhaps enough of it was ejected that she shouldn't have any such problems. This could be a blessing, perhaps.

They could probably tell you which metal it was in her system too...because you need that to determine which chelating agent to administer. What is something to pray about, though, is about her weakness...whether it's from just being sick and run-over by all this, or if it's from nervous system damage, or both. I think we should pray in the fervent hope that she recover.

Here's an online resource that explains things a bit: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_g2603/is_0004/ai_2603000412

Also, they should probably make sure she's not consuming any fish, and no red meats, with very little meat at all (if any, then for the protein--women can't utilize a lot of protein anyways, even a man is something like 4 oz / day I've heard) because meats store metals; some of the metals we need, but in small amounts. Until she's recover she needs to reduce possible sources of intake of the metals affecting her.
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« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2008, 10:46:43 pm »

Linda wrote:
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I, for one, don't hate Mark Darling or any other GC leader. I believe it is possible to disagree with love.


Many don't like Mark for many reasons.  Jessica is a light in that family's world in how to be understanding and merciful.  I wish they would be understanding of those who leave or disagree; I wish Mark had the same kindness and love for those who disagree and leave GC, or just be understanding.  In someways, I felt he could be bi-polar in a slight way.  He yells and banters that way.  He understands Jess but when it comes to defectors, damn, he is the meanest kid on the block.

Jessica is in my prayers too.

-Ex
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miserere
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« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2008, 10:58:21 pm »

I can only imagine the agony of this family.

As to the illness itself, I am concerned with the heavy metal diagnosis and the reliance on Naturopathy.  Have they been alienated from Alopathic medicine?
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wastedyearsthere
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« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2008, 04:54:20 am »

I've always thought that many of the leaders of GCC have an undiagnosed mental illness.  Narcissistic personality Disorder -- I really think Jim McCotter fits into this category.  Mark Darling possibility of Intermittent Explosive Disorder.  

As far as Jessica -- what is her prognosis?  How old is she -- is this a young child or a grown child?
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« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2008, 06:35:05 am »

Quote from: "ex-GCM Pastor"
I wish they would be understanding of those who leave or disagree; I wish Mark had the same kindness and love for those who disagree and leave GC, or just be understanding.


When I said I don't hate Mark or any other GC leader, I didn't mean to minimize the hurt that others have experienced through the teaching and actions of these men. I would imagine being an ex-pastor you have seen and experienced much more and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to minimize your hurt. Since my husband was not on the leadership track, there was a lot we were unaware of (and probably still are). The disagreements we had (after we left some odd and hurtful stuff happened, but not before) were pretty much theological.

Since we attended the Bloomington church, we had very little contact with Mark Darling. It was his Fanning the Flame teaching where he told us we were his bride that got us moving toward the door and resulted in a call to Larry Pile. Later, at the 2005 HSLT in Colorado, he asked our daughter who was still in high school to commit to a GC church for the rest of her life in his 10 Commitments talk. She didn't.

We met with Mark Darling and Spencer shortly after that HSLT. That was our only meeting with Mark Darling. He didn't yell as far as I can remember. He listened to Terry first. Then, basically, he asked us to leave rather than to stay and try to change things that we felt were wrong. The only odd thing he said was something like,  "You do realize that if you go around telling people that you think we are wrong, we will have to defend ourselves." I should have asked him what he meant. It was vague enough that I worried for a while about it being a physical or legal threat.

I'm not comfortable trying to diagnose anyones illnesses or problems, but believe that as far as Jessica is concerned, the family is doing everything possible to help her, medically and otherwise.

When I think about our experience with the leadership and the motives for their actions, I really believe they think they are acting according to Biblical mandate. Personalities or any mental disorder diagnosis, I have no way of saying. But, what I do think is that many of them as new believers sat under some very flawed teaching, they came to strongly believe that teaching, and their actions followed. Then, they taught this to others and the cycle continues.
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« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2008, 06:54:10 am »

Is this something new? Asking teenagers to commit themselves in a life-long commitment to a GCC church?  I have a friend whose teenage son was approached about this after he wanted to leave the church and town to go to college.....

It used to be if you were going to leave GCC to go to another town -- that you should find another GCC where you were going.
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« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2008, 07:44:53 am »

Quote from: "wastedyearsthere"
Is this something new? Asking teenagers to commit themselves in a life-long commitment to a GCC church?  I have a friend whose teenage son was approached about this after he wanted to leave the church and town to go to college.....

It used to be if you were going to leave GCC to go to another town -- that you should find another GCC where you were going.

It would have to be fairly new. GCx has not been around very long, and most of its early members were college students. Only in the past few years would they have gotten many teenagers-entering-adulthood.

But even in the old days, leaving town (e.g., for a job) was frowned upon.
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EverAStudent
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« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2008, 07:52:53 am »

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Is this something new? Asking teenagers to commit themselves in a life-long commitment to a GCC church?


No, this practice (and teaching) goes back to at least 1980.  It did seem to gain in prominance right before the Invasion campaign.  At that time, durng a weekend retreat where lifelong committment to GCI was a prime topic, every member of the church was approached and asked to make a vow of committment to GCI.  Everyone was pressured, teens, college age, young couples.  As far as I know, my family was the only one to opt out, soon followed by our permanent leaving  :)

Given the 30 year history of the practice/doctrine, I'd say it has become a foundational teaching of GCx.
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wastedyearsthere
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« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2008, 07:54:02 am »

I have noticed that noone who is in any kind of leadership in that church or training to be a leader ever marries outside the church?  I have friends who now have kids of marrying age and I don't think I ever heard of one marrying outside the church.  Odd.  

You are right -- it was frowned upon to leave the GCC church for another city and dating was downright sin in their eyes.  People who wanted to date or do things with other Christians or churches eventually from the peer pressure and the pressure from the elders compelled to leave.
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« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2008, 12:35:25 pm »

I don't know any second generation GC kids-now adults that attend church outside of GC.  NONE.  Some wanted to move away (after they were married and had kids mind you) and their parents said, "No, you can't do that."  So they stayed.  No kidding.

Rick Whitney is the one who always says, "Plant your flag and die there."
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« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2008, 01:35:34 pm »

Quote from: "wastedyearsthere"
It used to be if you were going to leave GCC to go to another town -- that you should find another GCC where you were going.


That's still standard in GC: teaching it and all (especially to those seen as very valuable to GC priorities); it's also not unusual to have them throw messages where people who did leave didn't find anything like or as good as GC and so they came back...

: (
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« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2009, 11:10:47 am »

I don't know any second generation GC kids-now adults that attend church outside of GC.  NONE.  Some wanted to move away (after they were married and had kids mind you) and their parents said, "No, you can't do that."  So they stayed.  No kidding.

Agatha, my kids are 2nd generation GC kids--and some are attending non-GCx churches, some are considering leaving the GCx movement, and I can't blame them.  I love them and support them no matter what.   Then again, i'm not your traditional GCx wife!
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