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Author Topic: Pastor Mark Darling-Pastor who abused me  (Read 285184 times)
Shamednomore
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« Reply #280 on: March 16, 2018, 05:05:58 pm »

Iamnotafraid and Gretchengail sound alike; is it just me?  You can keep dodging the issue of a transparent investigation.  But people who have nothing to hide would be willing to allow transparency.  Suzanne isn't afraid.  Why are you?
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wisemind
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« Reply #281 on: March 16, 2018, 08:50:12 pm »

Many of the Evergreen supporters who have recently posted have their own stories of being abused. I find it curious that they are so unwilling to give any acknowledgement of support to Suzanne and the other victims when they have suffered the same type of trauma and know what it feels like to be abused. They seem so sure that Mark Darling is innocent and above reproach. How would they feel if  they were portrayed as lying, evil, and were treated with disgust for telling their story. I understand the Darling family is shellshocked by these allegations and wants to support their father. That makes sense to me and I truly feel sorry for the suffering they are enduring. I just can't give Mark Darling the benefit of the doubt here. There are several women who have now told the story of their abuse. They have specific details and sound credible. The stories are similar. The husband of one victim confronted Mark telling him to stay away from his wife. I'm sure Mark would have been careful about not letting others know about the time spent with these women, especially his own family. It doesn't surprise me that he left no evidence.  I would think that his time was not monitored by anyone and he could arrange his schedule to meet with these women without anyone suspecting anything. If his wife suspected or knew of this behavior what could she do about it? Who could she go to for support I wonder? The other pastors clearly have Mark's back. Divorce really is not an option in GCC. Women are submissive to their husbands, especially the pastor's wives. I have to believe Suzanne and the other victims are telling the truth. What do they gain by making this up?
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jeromydaviddarling
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« Reply #282 on: March 16, 2018, 08:58:34 pm »

Friend, you've ONLY heard anything from Suzanne. You are taking the word of a woman you've NEVER met, posting ONLY on social media, when 5 eyewitnesses to Mark's life (his children and his oldest son's wife) have provided eye witness accounts of his life and stated unequivocally that NOTHING Suzanne has said is true. NO husband ever confronted my father (though it's interesting that when Suzanne was pressed on her own husbands continued silence she would finally finish Victim A's story by adding a nice touch with the classic "Stay away from my wife!" line). You can't "believe" people you've never met, who's names you don't know. You can't even believe something you read on the internet by someone you don't know, purportedly telling you things OTHER people told them. Also, THERE WAS NO RAPE OR SEXUAL VIOLENCE IN ANY OF THESE STORIES. Only "conversations" that were uncomfortable. Other very BRAVE women (including my wife) have written their RAPE stories on here and backed my father 100% as a safe, wonderful man. ARE YOU ACTUALLY CONFLATING UNCOMFORTABLE SEXUAL CONVERSATIONS WITH RAPE? If so, you definitely could use some education on the difference between rape by women who have come out with their real names, and nameless "Victim X" stories that all sound exactly identical, than you have to assume that my father was somehow able to carry on all these long talk/late night/long car/in the park relationships with what - 7 women?? And my mom was too stupid to notice - or allowed all of this?
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GodisFaithful
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« Reply #283 on: March 17, 2018, 08:36:54 am »

I have met Scout.  Last I remember she did not have horns on her head and a pitchfork in her hand.  From my memory she was beautiful.  I am sure it is true she has a few flaws.  I have a few flaws, too.  Most of us do.  It does not mean she was not sexually exploited.  Has it ever dawned on you that some on this forum might know her a little more than you do?

I get it that this is a terribly painful time for you and your family.
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GretchenGail
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« Reply #284 on: March 17, 2018, 10:41:07 am »

Many of the Evergreen supporters who have recently posted have their own stories of being abused. I find it curious that they are so unwilling to give any acknowledgement of support to Suzanne and the other victims when they have suffered the same type of trauma and know what it feels like to be abused. They seem so sure that Mark Darling is innocent and above reproach. How would they feel if  they were portrayed as lying, evil, and were treated with disgust for telling their story. I understand the Darling family is shellshocked by these allegations and wants to support their father. That makes sense to me and I truly feel sorry for the suffering they are enduring. I just can't give Mark Darling the benefit of the doubt here. There are several women who have now told the story of their abuse. They have specific details and sound credible. The stories are similar. The husband of one victim confronted Mark telling him to stay away from his wife. I'm sure Mark would have been careful about not letting others know about the time spent with these women, especially his own family. It doesn't surprise me that he left no evidence.  I would think that his time was not monitored by anyone and he could arrange his schedule to meet with these women without anyone suspecting anything. If his wife suspected or knew of this behavior what could she do about it? Who could she go to for support I wonder? The other pastors clearly have Mark's back. Divorce really is not an option in GCC. Women are submissive to their husbands, especially the pastor's wives. I have to believe Suzanne and the other victims are telling the truth. What do they gain by making this up?

I am unwilling to give Suzanne support regarding her accusations against my father in-law because I "believe" she's been mentally unstable for years (I don't blame her for that - I'll get back to that) and I "KNOW" she is lying about Mark.  From what I remember about Suzanne's testimony, I believe she and some of her sisters suffered abuse as children.  I used to babysit her niece and nephew regularly.  I can sympathize with her, having a broken childhood and then being a pastors wife, a missionary in a very spiritually dark country I am sure life in Berlin was very difficult especially with 4 small children.  We have 3 small children and our life is ministry.  The spiritual attacks are FOR REAL.  I have an army of sisters surrounding me in prayer constantly.  You wouldn't believe the struggles that come our way.  Life is Hard!!!!  So...why do I believe she is unstable.  They left a church plant after uprooting their lives (that would be hard, right) and came home and took a break from the body of Christ. I'm sure some serious isolation set in.  Can you imagine the stress and spiritual attacks and how that affects your physical and mental health.  Then what?  I can only observe from John's Facebook (he sent me a friend request back in 2015) that the enemy got between John and Suzanne because I don't think they have been together for years (I base that off of a lack of posts with the two of them together AND observing some of their children's FB pages.  So what about the "ABUSE."  I think when people are broken, miserable that they take that out on others.  It breaks my heart.  I was never close to Suzanne.  I did not have a relationship with her just some strange conversations which back in 1999 led me to believe she was already unstable.  I feel sad for her and I'm praying for her.  When you say "other victims" I don't know who A and C are, their stories (including Suzannes) don't make sense or match up with what our family knows to be true about that time in life.  In terms of "how would they feel if they were told they were lying?"  Well, I turned in all of my abusers within days of their abuse.  I had evidence (people who were there) and the people had the character to match the crime.  You can't give Mark Darling the benefit of the doubt because you don't know Mark Darling.  You will say you do but you don't.  Give us a name and we can tell you if you really do Wisemind.  I've been around abusers most of my upbringing until I was 18.  The other half of my life - the last 18 years I have been in close company with Mark (and yet never alone with him even has my father in-law) and I know for a FACT he is innocent. 

Confused...divorce in not an option in GCC - well that's not true.  I've had CLOSE, personal friends who have been divorced in our church and it absolutely was an option.  God doesn't LOVE it but there are cases where it needs to be.  Is GCC the only church where women lovingly submit to their husbands out of reverence for Christ (and wait, husbands will submit too) not because we are idiots whose husbands treat us like dogs.  I cannot read posts like yours and find any wisdom when you make ridiculous statements like these. 
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Shamednomore
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« Reply #285 on: March 17, 2018, 10:54:07 am »

You donít have to support her.  All she is asking for is an independent transparent investigation.  And now you are resorting to calling her unstable and miserable and a liar.  She is open to transparency and has nothing to hide.  You donít want transparency; why?  And if divorce happens to good people in your church, why then would it make Suzanne unstable and crazy if her and John are not together?  You donít have a point. 
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GretchenGail
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« Reply #286 on: March 17, 2018, 11:22:14 am »

You donít have to support her.  All she is asking for is an independent transparent investigation.  And now you are resorting to calling her unstable and miserable and a liar.  She is open to transparency and has nothing to hide.  You donít want transparency; why?  And if divorce happens to good people in your church, why then would it make Suzanne unstable and crazy if her and John are not together?  You donít have a point. 

Right, I know that. I don't support her. Correct, I believe she is unstable, sadly miserable and yes a liar. I do have a point, I believe people with mental health issues (I've been around people like this often, and not saying she's "crazy" in case that's what you are assuming I'm saying, I'm saying she's suffering with mental health struggles) are likely to struggle being truthful. I am not saying John and Suzanne are divorced, she won't make a statement on this. I think our lives and our fruit should be a strong testimony when we are discussing these accusations. Again, I am sad for her but I do believe she is lying. I'd love an investigation. I'd love evidence. I would have loved to have heard from Suzanne a decade ago.
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Shamednomore
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« Reply #287 on: March 17, 2018, 12:09:14 pm »

You are really grasping.  Suzanne must have known she would be attacked by you all, and yet she chose to speak out anyway.  Not to ask for money or anything at all except to have a transparent investigation.  Your own history of sexual abuse isnít relevant, but since you insist you handled yours so much better, do you not see that Suzanne did speak up all those years ago?  And nothing was done. 
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GodisFaithful
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« Reply #288 on: March 17, 2018, 12:17:08 pm »

Scout is mental.

John is mental.

Victim A is mental?

Victim C is mental?

Maybe this should be left for the professionals.

Pretty soon we're all going to be mental if we don't get an independent transparent investigation.

Meanwhile I am going to go see "I Can Only Imagine". I've heard it's good.
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G_Prince
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« Reply #289 on: March 17, 2018, 12:24:14 pm »

The increasingly desperate tone of the Darling troll squad is only confirming the truth about MD.  As the accusations become more absurd  (Suzanne is mentally ill, perhaps even a criminal) it's becoming clear that no one at ECC actually trusts MD's innocence...othereise there would be no need to peddle such lies. Innocent men don't need troll campaigns to defend them. That's Harvey Weinstein territory. It's a classic and completely predictable defense by the enabelors of a sexual abuser.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2018, 12:26:43 pm by G_Prince » Logged

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Huldah
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« Reply #290 on: March 17, 2018, 12:26:50 pm »

Suzanne has consistently asked for an independent investigation with the results to be made public. That much is incontestable.

What I don't understand is, what's in it for her, if she's making the whole thing up?

If she's making it up, then she must know that she will, at the very least, be publicly exposed as a vicious liar. She must also know how much that would hurt and humiliate her family. Not to mention that she's setting herself up to be sued for slander (and if it turns out that she's lying, I would encourage Mark to go after for damages).

Granted, her willingness to go public and demand an investigation doesn't actually prove that she's telling the truth, but it raises a question that I find difficult to answer. If she's willing to publicly put her reputation, her financial welfare, and her family's peace of mind on the line for a lie, then why?

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Differentstrokes
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« Reply #291 on: March 17, 2018, 12:30:10 pm »

Quote
people with mental health issues (I've been around people like this often, and not saying she's "crazy" in case that's what you are assuming I'm saying, I'm saying she's suffering with mental health struggles) are likely to struggle being truthful
Wow, that's a pretty insulting comment to make about those of us who struggle with mental health issues. Especially after myself and others have straight up had our pastors tell us We were lying about our symptoms, and have been told we just need to get right with God and everything will get better. I feel sorry for the people you're around with that attitude.
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Huldah
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« Reply #292 on: March 17, 2018, 12:44:08 pm »

Wow, that's a pretty insulting comment to make about those of us who struggle with mental health issues.
Yeah, I noticed that too. It bothers me when people conflate mental illness with poor character.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2018, 12:55:56 pm by Huldah » Logged
JessicaNoelDarling
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« Reply #293 on: March 17, 2018, 01:23:23 pm »

The increasingly desperate tone of the Darling troll squad is only confirming the truth about MD.  As the accusations become more absurd  (Suzanne is mentally ill, perhaps even a criminal) it's becoming clear that no one at ECC actually trusts MD's innocence...othereise there would be no need to peddle such lies. Innocent men don't need troll campaigns to defend them. That's Harvey Weinstein territory. It's a classic and completely predictable defense by the enabelors of a sexual abuser.


 I have no idea who you are G_Prince, but I am very bothered by your comment. You don't get to compare my incredible father to a wicked pervert like Harvey W. You( who won't even give your real name) don't get to call me and my siblings "trolls" just for protecting my father and mother.  I will do whatever it takes to shield my mother and father from this kind of online abuse, and I will speak out against people like you who have no filter on your mouth and say whatever you want to. I've said this before and I'll say it againĖ if you think blood or loyalty explains us supporting our father, then you've missed everything we've been saying. My father's character is quite easy to see. He's a faithful and honest man. How is Harvey Weinstein even in the same conversation as my father? That is just crazy. By your logic, having supporters is an indication of someones guilt? Seriously? What logic book are you taking your plays from? The bottom line is that these claims are wildly inconsistent with the character of my father. Everyone who knows my father resents the fact that my father is going through this. He is an innocent man. If you saw an innocent man getting attacked, are you saying you wouldn't intervene? Do you even know my father? You've openly mocked me on this forum and all I'm trying to do is protect innocence. I'm his daughter, and thus I've witnessed my fathers life first hand, and I'm not going to sit back and watch the defaming happen by people, who don't even know him and honestly don't even care what the truth is, as long as they can attack. So many people are crying "Truth, Truth!" but those people had already cast their judgment ahead of time.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2018, 01:28:04 pm by JessicaNoelDarling » Logged
GretchenGail
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« Reply #294 on: March 17, 2018, 01:31:39 pm »

You are really grasping.  Suzanne must have known she would be attacked by you all, and yet she chose to speak out anyway.  Not to ask for money or anything at all except to have a transparent investigation.  Your own history of sexual abuse isnít relevant, but since you insist you handled yours so much better, do you not see that Suzanne did speak up all those years ago?  And nothing was done. 

Well...my sexual abuse actually  happened and I have at least 5 people who can verify that. I don't see that Suzanne spoke up about sexual abuse.
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Differentstrokes
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« Reply #295 on: March 17, 2018, 01:34:25 pm »

Quote
Wow, that's a pretty insulting comment to make about those of us who struggle with mental health issues.

Yeah, I noticed that too. It bothers me when people conflate mental illness with poor character.

Huldah, that was a pretty typical attitude towards mental illness where I was, mental illness was never really discussed and when it was it was a "spiritual issue" caused by not trusting God and praying enough, it was pretty much like "what wrong thing did you do to cause this issue in yourself". I thank the universe all the time I found a good therapist and got away from that
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GretchenGail
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« Reply #296 on: March 17, 2018, 01:36:23 pm »

Scout is mental.

John is mental.

Victim A is mental?

Victim C is mental?

Maybe this should be left for the professionals.

Pretty soon we're all going to be mental if we don't get an independent transparent investigation.

Meanwhile I am going to go see "I Can Only Imagine". I've heard it's good.

Who is "Scout"
I think Suzanne Van Dyke has mental Heath issues.
I liked John Van Dyke.
Victim A, B, C, D, X, Y, Z - they are letters
I think they should see professionals, they are super helpful
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GretchenGail
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« Reply #297 on: March 17, 2018, 01:42:48 pm »

The increasingly desperate tone of the Darling troll squad is only confirming the truth about MD.  As the accusations become more absurd  (Suzanne is mentally ill, perhaps even a criminal) it's becoming clear that no one at ECC actually trusts MD's innocence...othereise there would be no need to peddle such lies. Innocent men don't need troll campaigns to defend them. That's Harvey Weinstein territory. It's a classic and completely predictable defense by the enabelors of a sexual abuser.

That's funny, my kids are watching Trolls right now. Do you think Suzanne is a criminal? Having mental health challenges doesn't make you a criminal. We've received over 100 correspondences from Evergreen Church members, friends with lots of love, support and confidence in Mark's innocence. Trust me, we don't need Justin Timberlake to support my father in-laws innocence. We have hundreds to support Mark's Innocence. I won't enable lies.
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Shamednomore
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« Reply #298 on: March 17, 2018, 01:46:15 pm »

Right now there is no independent investigation / investigator for them to go to with their stories and evidence and witnesses.  But they seem ready and willing.  And John has made clear statements of support.  So you are lying by saying he hasnít.  
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GretchenGail
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« Reply #299 on: March 17, 2018, 02:00:42 pm »

Quote
Wow, that's a pretty insulting comment to make about those of us who struggle with mental health issues.

Yeah, I noticed that too. It bothers me when people conflate mental illness with poor character.

Huldah, that was a pretty typical attitude towards mental illness where I was, mental illness was never really discussed and when it was it was a "spiritual issue" caused by not trusting God and praying enough, it was pretty much like "what wrong thing did you do to cause this issue in yourself". I thank the universe all the time I found a good therapist and got away from that
[/quote
Do I think mental illness equates to poor character - No! Do I think 
Suzanne has poor character, Yes.  I absolutely do not think mental illness has anything to do with spirituality. Some of my closest friends have struggled with mental illness  and most of the time it's a health issue, i.e.,  underlying health issues.
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