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Author Topic: Victims and Survivors of Mark Darling's Abuse  (Read 13792 times)
Scout
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« on: March 02, 2018, 09:03:40 am »

I began this thread to post parts of the victim impact statements that the other victims and I are writing.  We are meeting and in doing so are healing and shedding the shame that our abuser, Mark Darling, caused us to carry for years.

I just posted on Facebook this portion of Victim/Survivor C's story.  

"For those following my story of abuse from pastor Mark Darling of Evergreen Church and the ensuing cover up, today I share part of Victim/Survivor C's story with her permission.

She writes: "I was thankful that he [Mark Darling] shared about God's love for me. He took an unusual interest in me...he to me out to a secluded place in the woods. He pulled the door shut and started a fire for just the two of us. He told me that it was a special time for just the two of us, and that nobody should no about it.

I remember sitting on two separate picnic tables and Mark insisted that he did not "bite" and I that I should sit right next to him. There were things that made me greatly uncomfortable. He'd put his hand on my leg and pull me close. He also wanted to know all about my sexual encounters. He'd reassure me that he was my pastor and that I could trust him...and I trusted him. I can remember him asking probing questions about one-night-stands, how I'd meet people, how many people I slept with, etc...

At the end of our time together, he pulled me close and hugged me the way that my husband would hug me. He'd tell me over and over again how I could trust him, and he'd tell me how much he loved me. I remember feeling uncomfortable but now knowing what to do about it. I felt like a lover, or a girlfriend the way Mark would hold me and talk to me." -Victim/Survivor C

Evergreen Church, we will not go away. We have found our voices and the shame that our abuser pastor Mark Darling caused us to carry, we have shed."

Scout
« Last Edit: March 02, 2018, 11:28:49 am by Scout » Logged
marie
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« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2018, 07:18:24 pm »

Thanks for sharing your stories- Suzanne and victim C.

I believe Evergreen leaders want this story to go away and hopefully just sweep it under the rug.
 It is clear on the forum and on the face book posts that so many have been hurt and abused. 
At Evergreen and other GCM churches.

I do not want to see this swept under the rug.
 Like one person shared.  This could be Evergreen's finest hour if there is true Repentance.
For that we need to keep praying and keep the issue alive on facebook , the forum, twitter and other places.
Until there is true repentance or resignations, I will not remain quiet anymore.

Marie
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blonde
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« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2018, 11:06:56 pm »

Susan/Scout, is Victim/Survivor C able to come out publicly as you? We will all be in prayer.

-Blonde
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Scout
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« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2018, 05:49:38 am »

I began this thread to post parts of the victim impact statements that the other victims and I are writing.  We are meeting and in doing so are healing and shedding the shame that our abuser, Mark Darling, caused us to carry for years.

I just posted on Facebook this portion of Victim/Survivor C's story.  

"For those following my story of abuse from pastor Mark Darling of Evergreen Church and the ensuing cover up, today I share part of Victim/Survivor C's story with her permission.

She writes: "I was thankful that he [Mark Darling] shared about God's love for me. He took an unusual interest in me...he to me out to a secluded place in the woods. He pulled the door shut and started a fire for just the two of us. He told me that it was a special time for just the two of us, and that nobody should no about it.

I remember sitting on two separate picnic tables and Mark insisted that he did not "bite" and I that I should sit right next to him. There were things that made me greatly uncomfortable. He'd put his hand on my leg and pull me close. He also wanted to know all about my sexual encounters. He'd reassure me that he was my pastor and that I could trust him...and I trusted him. I can remember him asking probing questions about one-night-stands, how I'd meet people, how many people I slept with, etc...

At the end of our time together, he pulled me close and hugged me the way that my husband would hug me. He'd tell me over and over again how I could trust him, and he'd tell me how much he loved me. I remember feeling uncomfortable but now knowing what to do about it. I felt like a lover, or a girlfriend the way Mark would hold me and talk to me." -Victim/Survivor C

Evergreen Church, we will not go away. We have found our voices and the shame that our abuser pastor Mark Darling caused us to carry, we have shed."

Scout
For those following my account of abuse by pastor Mark Darling and Evergreen Church's cover up, this past week I shared another victim/survivor's story of abuse. Following is the continuation of Victim C's story:

"At the end of our time together, he pulled me close and hugged me the way my husband would hug me. He'd tell me over and over again how I could trust him, and he'd tell me how much he loved me. I remember feeling uncomfortable but not knowing what to do about it. I felt like a lover, or a girlfriend the way that Mark [Darling] would hold me and talk to me.

I remember the car rides home [from a secluded place in which Victim chose not to disclose]. I remember feeling like a child that was being scolded. Mark told me that he wanted to do something special for me, and that no one should know about it. I trusted him as my pastor, and did not talk about it with anyone.

This relationship continued. Mark took me over to his house. I was not there to see his wife or kids. In fact, we went straight to his basement. There he started a fire for the two of us, and he wanted to know more about my sexual past. Given that he was my pastor, I always told him all he wanted to know.

While others [girls] around me would meet Mark, they always needed to have another person with them for "accountability purposes". I never once was told to take someone with me to meet Mark. For years we continued to meet one-on-one. We'd often meet in the dark basement on the college campus.

I often times had a real sense of conflict. Years of meeting with Mark one-on-one left me feeling really special. I felt he had fallen in love with me. Our conversations felt intimate. I felt like a secret girlfriend. I felt like a trusted confidante. Mark would tell me how wonderful I was, and how he wished there were more women like me at church. But at the same time, I felt like he knew too much. I often wondered what his wife would think about our meeting together. He knew too much about my sexual past and always wanted to know more. While I would often grieve about my sexual past, Mark would joke with me that I "had a sex drive like a guy". That greatly confused me." -Victim C

-shared at Victim C's request and with their permission

Scout
« Last Edit: March 04, 2018, 05:01:43 pm by Scout » Logged
Watching
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« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2018, 07:01:50 am »

Sick to my stomach.  I'm still an ECC member, have been for over 25 years.  I know Scout and also know Mark Darling and his entire family.  I didn't want to believe this of Mark as he was integral to my salvation.  Yet as I piece together my experience in the church with what's being posted throughout the various forum topics I can't help but feel that something terrible has happened, that it's been covered up, and that it's time for truth to be exposed and justice to be served.  I'm so sick and repulsed.  Praying for complete transparency in this matter.
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Huldah
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« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2018, 01:06:39 pm »

Thank you for the link, GTA. It has also been posted in at least one other thread.
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« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2018, 01:27:48 pm »

I find it hard to believe that a therapist would discuss a former client.  I think legally therapists are bound by confidentiality for 7 years, but ethically it is forever.  I question whether that was the actual therapist Suzanne was referring to, and if so, how he decided to divulge the information.  I doubt charting would still be around but it would be interesting for Suzanne to request that.

GTA, why do you expect us to accept Jeromy's "eye witness account" as fact when you refuse to accept Suzanne's eye witness account?  We're going to believe who we're going to believe, you can hardly chastise people for finding one person more credible than the other.
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Huldah
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« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2018, 01:27:53 pm »

GTA, not to discount Jeromy's story, but I was hoping to hear from people who were not members of Mark's immediate family and who might reasonably be considered a little more objective. Actually, I was hoping to hear from you, about the things you implied that you knew before Jeromy released his statement.
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Digital Lynch Mob
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« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2018, 10:56:07 am »

In light of recent information coming forward, it seems reasonable to ask these questions of the accuser.

1. Mark Darling has the letter she and John wrote him 18 years ago. Jeromy D. stated that the letter contained no reference whatsoever to sexual abuse or sexual misconduct of any kind. So Scout, did the letter reference sexual abuse?

2. We've also heard that the topic of sexual abuse never came up with her counselor. Is this true and if so, how can that be?

3. Close friends of the van Dykes at the time are on record as saying the topic of sexual abuse never came up. Is this true?

4. If these things are true, how is it that 18 years later scout's story has changed so dramatically?

5. Was John complicit in this? If he knew there was sexual abuse of his wife why did he stay in the church? Why wouldn't have have done something to protect his wife? Why didn't they bring charges against Mark?

6. In one of your somewhat graphic accusations, you say Mark invited you over so you would hear he and Kathy have sex in the basement. Since the basement wasn't where their bedroom is please explain. More importantly, are you saying Kathy was a party to this "abuse?" And do you expect us to believe that quiet Kathy has loud sex with her husband while guests are in the house?

7. Was the $60K you reference as hush money to be paid to you personally or was it a severance package for your husband who was leaving the church after a decade of being a Pastor?
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Soul
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« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2018, 11:03:50 am »

Ok "Scout" if you say what happened is true I want to see what you did with all the money they gave you. Where are the other victims? Why are no one else speaking out? I don't like the church but I don't plan on believing you just because I don't like someone. What did you do with all of that money and show proof that you didn't use any of it personally. When it comes to that much money I will always have to doubt the person. You call yourself a Christian but then why go to the news and soil the church even more to a world who wants you dead for believing in God? If you really are what you say you are you would take it to the courts not to the media.
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« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2018, 11:07:10 am »

What money are you talking about?

There were 3 victims represented on Fox 9 last night.

Who wants you dead for believing in God?

Ok "Scout" if you say what happened is true I want to see what you did with all the money they gave you. Where are the other victims? Why are no one else speaking out? I don't like the church but I don't plan on believing you just because I don't like someone. What did you do with all of that money and show proof that you didn't use any of it personally. When it comes to that much money I will always have to doubt the person. You call yourself a Christian but then why go to the news and soil the church even more to a world who wants you dead for believing in God? If you really are what you say you are you would take it to the courts not to the media.
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Soul
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« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2018, 11:19:20 am »

What money are you talking about?

There were 3 victims represented on Fox 9 last night.

Who wants you dead for believing in God?


You are obviously not a Christian so you won't understand. Second the news obviously didn't do a good job reporting. That church gave her a million dollars to plant a church in Germany. That's what money.
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DarthVader
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« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2018, 11:29:13 am »

GTA, just to be very clear for all.  Mark, through ECC and his son deny that any of these conversations, long walks alone in the woods, in the basement, etc. ever happened. Is it your contention that Mark is, in fact, not accurate and these conversations did happen but were innocent/part of pastoral care? Or do you agree with Mark's position that none of these conversations happened and the 4 alleged victims are lying or delusional?  It really does have to be one of those two if logic has any place in your worldview.  Just trying to understand what you believe.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 11:38:28 am by DarthVader » Logged
araignee19
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« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2018, 11:30:38 am »

You are obviously not a Christian so you won't understand. Second the news obviously didn't do a good job reporting. That church gave her a million dollars to plant a church in Germany. That's what money.

Troll alert!
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Soul
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« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2018, 11:31:30 am »


2 of the 3 victims had claims of spiritual abuse, at best.  "Spiritual abuse with sexual undertones"?  But at the time had "no idea I was being abused" and apparently continued on with life not knowing she has suffered any sort of abuse, certainly until she read a book or a therapist told her so.   I Just wanted to clarify this for folks.  Additionally, the unnamed victim statement discussed how Mark would ask questions about her intimacy with her husband.  Did the victim invite this, seeking out counsel for some issues in her marriage?  The full context of those statements would seem to be quite helpful. 


Well so much for the other victims theory. There are no other victims. So now I don't believe Suzen (bad at spelling names I forgot how you spell it) at all. And I didn't even see the news it was only a few seconds that I saw of it but I knew it was only a one sided story. I got the information on here about it. And I still don't like this church.
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Soul
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« Reply #15 on: May 03, 2018, 11:38:04 am »

GTA, just to be very clear for all.  Mark, through ECC and his son deny that any of these conversations, long walks alone in the woods, in the basement, etc. ever happened. Is it your contention that Mark is, in fact, not accurate and these conversations did happen but were innocent/part of pastoral care? Or do you agree with Mark's position that none of these conversations happened and the 4 alleged victims are lying or delusional?  It really does have to be one of those two if logic has any place in your worldview?  Just trying to understand what you believe.


Read the post above you. No one claims spiritual abuse so yes they are delusional and only looking for a handout unless scout already gave them some money. There's a million dollars involved so the first thing you do to find the truth is look for the money trail. Where did all of the money go to. Most likely the motivation behind all this is for money.
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HughHoney
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« Reply #16 on: May 03, 2018, 11:44:44 am »

You are obviously not a Christian so you won't understand. Second the news obviously didn't do a good job reporting. That church gave her a million dollars to plant a church in Germany. That's what money.

They blew all the money at Oktoberfest  Sad
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G_Prince
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« Reply #17 on: May 03, 2018, 11:51:01 am »

You are obviously not a Christian so you won't understand. Second the news obviously didn't do a good job reporting. That church gave her a million dollars to plant a church in Germany. That's what money.

They blew all the money at Oktoberfest  Sad

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Here's an easy way to find out if you're in a cult. If you find yourself asking the question, "am I in a cult?" the answer is yes. -Stephen Colbert
DarthVader
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« Reply #18 on: May 03, 2018, 12:24:16 pm »

Thanks GTA - your response is very clear and I wouldn't fault you in any way for your belief in Mark's innocence. To answer your question on Satan playing games - yes, but the question is what games is he playing?  You'd surely have to acknowledge that pastors are a favorite target of Satan, and he's been successful in causing them to stumble, no? And if David, a man after God's own heart can fall, could not Mark Darling, even if to a far lessor degree than David did?  I do believe your point on only Suzanne alleging sexual misconduct is not correct. Victim C who I understand has cooperated w/the ECC investigator alleged unwanted physical contact. Given the attacks on Suzanne (and now Natalie) - I think for anyone to hold her anonymity against her (except to the ECC investigator, which is what really counts anyway) would be off.
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Godtrumpsall
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« Reply #19 on: May 03, 2018, 12:44:18 pm »

Thanks GTA - your response is very clear and I wouldn't fault you in any way for your belief in Mark's innocence. To answer your question on Satan playing games - yes, but the question is what games is he playing?  You'd surely have to acknowledge that pastors are a favorite target of Satan, and he's been successful in causing them to stumble, no? And if David, a man after God's own heart can fall, could not Mark Darling, even if to a far lessor degree than David did?  I do believe your point on only Suzanne alleging sexual misconduct is not correct. Victim C who I understand has cooperated w/the ECC investigator alleged unwanted physical contact. Given the attacks on Suzanne (and now Natalie) - I think for anyone to hold her anonymity against her (except to the ECC investigator, which is what really counts anyway) would be off.

Any of us could fall, you could, I could, my husband, and on and on.  But what does satan want most, he wants to divide, destroy and deceive, and pit people against God.  He will do anything to accomplish this, even disguise himself as light, and goodness.  This issue is not just a worldly version of accusations, which I know has been said on both sides of this story, which makes it all the more tragic.  There is something much deeper going on here, an epic battle between the principalities of this world, and God.  But for satan to divide believers, is the biggest win for him.  And yes, you are correct...which game is satan playing?  He is playing something, that we can agree on.  From what I know of Mark, as posted previously, I believe this current game of satan is to divide and deceive many Christians by convincing many that Mark is a guilty man.  This is my stance.
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