Wellspring Article: "Dispelling The Myths"

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[MamaD]

A few days ago, somebody asked for the link to the article written by Dr. Paul Martin on the Wellspring web site.

Here is the link:
http://www.wellspringretreat.org/resources/index.php?item=1&function=print

I hope it works! I kind of had to break it up to get it to fit.

This article was very helpful to me even though I don’t really think I have a lot of “hurts” to deal with. We left over unbiblical views of leadership and weren’t particularly hurt by anyone. I know, though, that many of you have been hurt.

I thought Myth #3 was especially interesting in light of some earlier comments.

Here it is as written by Dr. Martin:

Myth #3
Both Christian and non-Christian groups can produce problems, but all of the people involved must have had prior psychological hang-ups that would have surfaced regardless of what group they joined.

I encounter this myth regularly among both Christian and secular psychologists. I suspect that it will achieve a status of near immortality. It seems that no amount of contradictory evidence can persuade some that “normal” people can get involved in such groups.

Frankly, the problem that my husband and I had with our GCM church was doctrinal in nature (what we view as an unbiblical view of leadership), and that doctrine was hidden (perhaps unintentionally) from us until shortly before we left.

A couple months ago, a pastor at the church we used to attend said in a Sunday sermon:

“And so even to give the controls over to God, that’s hard, but the real kicker here is that God is saying, “Give the controls over to people that I work through. And these people are fallable, these people make mistakes, these people are weak at times. You’ve got to work through it anyway, that’s what God says.”

I can assure you that if a pastor would have said that the first day we attended we would have walked out the door and never looked back. Things were not that obvious the first 8 years we were there (back to the bait and switch thing).

In fact, after that sermon was preached, two people (who don’t know each other) commented to us about it. One asked me to listen to it online and give my thoughts. The other individual pulled my husband aside at a gathering, told him about it, and said, “Things are getting really weird there.”

On the plus side, though, I think it is great that they are being more direct with what they believe at the church we used to attend! It will certainly help people to make more informed decisions in the future.

[AgathaL'Orange]

Mama D,
That was a really good article.

When he wrote about how group leaders always use phrases like, “The Lord would have ____,” I just couldn’t help but think of GCM sermons where over and over and over the speaker says, “The Lord told me,” or “the Lord worked me over, ” or “the Lord made such and such happen so that I would__________,” or the one that really used to get me is, “What I am about to tell you is the heart of God for our church.” I fell for it again and again, even though my rational mind thought, “If this is true, this person would have to be a prophet for as much direct revelation they have received from God.”

Finally, I began to see this for what it was… sincere, passionate people utterly convinced of doctrines that they want to pass under the title, “God’s will for you.”

Now, I still have trouble saying things about God that PERSONALLY. I truly believe that God uses events in my life for growth. I believe that God is watching out for me, but I find it awkward and even irreverent to speak of God as though he was my cosmic fairy godmother whose world revolves around me! A few years before I even left, I used to just feel my hair stand on end whenever anyone would tell me what God was thinking. As if they knew!

Here are some things we were told off the top of my head:

1. God’s heart for GCM is loyalty to each other no matter what.
2. God’s will is for GCM to reach the world in one generation.
3. We are all to be like the apostle Paul, if we aren’t, we’re in sin.
4. God’s will for me is to submit to the leadership of my church no matter what.

And number four is what I have been thinking a lot lately. I have been thinking that it has been nice not to be surrounded by all the humble churchy language anymore… for example, some people in my church (loyal followers) were so intent on following and being a humbe servant (may God bless them) that they would say things ALL the TIME like:

They help you move or something and you say, “Thank you so much, we couldn’t have done it without you.” And every time they would say, “Thank you for the opportunity to serve.” Or one woman would show up to events and say, “I’ll do anything… put me anywhere, toilets, cleaning? anything… just tell me what to do.” I know this seems really nice, and it was, but it began to bother me. It was as though they were just signing up to be slaves or something. It was really weird. I don’t think I can even explain it, but it just began to strike me as strange. I guess it seemed as though these grown men and women were obedient children, completely without will or desire. All service was to the group, they were there to serve. Period.

I guess the most helpful thing on my path to healing would have to be distance and time. This has caused me to separate the good thinking from the bad, and left me to pursue the path of healing… which I feel is happening and in many ways has happened.

I think as the article says though, you have to take an objective, systematic look at the errors though in order to move along that path. If you don’t, I suppose it will be easy to make the same mistakes again.

Thanks for posting the link. Everyone should check it out.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a pastor saying what he believes is God’s will for his church. I think the problem occurs when people in leadership are telling you what God’s personal will for your life is, without regard for the fact that God can and does speak to non-leaders. Also, if someone feels God is leading them out of a GCM church and into seminary/another church/etc., then that should be respected and it should not become some huge deal.

[Linda]

Anonymous wrote:

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a pastor saying what he believes is God’s will for his church.”

I know I sound like a broken record, but…

… the church does not belong to the pastor.(the pastor is part of it)

…the head of the church is not the pastor.(the head is Christ)

…the final authority in the church is not the pastor.(that would be the Bible)

…the church is made up of people with different God given gifts, no one person knows the perfect will of God for His Church therefore, all gifts are needed.

And, hi Agatha, I just reread that article (my husband had found it a couple weeks ago) and liked it even more the second time around! Also, I liked your reference to “distance and time” helping. Good point.

[AgathaL'Orange]

Anonymous,
I agree that it is okay for a pastor to say what he believes the will of God is for the church, especially if it is straight out of the Bible.
But I still think that they should say, “This is what I believe God’s will is…” not “God’s will is…” especially if it is not found in the Bible.
I mean it’s really serious to say you are in tune with the mind of God, you know? I mean it’s REALLY serious. And it should be taken seriously. And if you are going to tell people what God is saying, then you’d better have some proof. Or you could be like one of the writers in the New Testament and differentiate what was God talking and what was the writer talking. I guess my view of a pastor is a leader/teacher not a prophet. So I think they should lead and teach from the Bible but be very careful when going beyond. But there were so many sermons in my GCM days that just went on and on about God’s will in certain areas, and if you disagreed, well… there you go, now, you obviously are not following God’s will.