Issues from The GCM Church still carry on today

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[steelgirl]

I started to attend a GCM Church in 1999.  I just graduated from college and I was drawn to community aspect, which was not so great in the long run.  I thought the community was great, because there were life groups and everything.  Looking back, I don't know if Very young Christians should have been in leadership positions.  It was good for the first 2 years, however a lot of people moved to Orlando in 2001.

2001 to 2004, things got really weird.  After the big move to Orlando, I was one of the unfortunate people that was not in a life group because I was not invited because I had too many issues, which was bs.  The leadership decided I should meet with "Eileen."  It was fine and I met with Eileen for a few years even after I could go to life group since I was finally invited.  However originally I did not get invited to the more logistically idea life group, but ended up going after the life group I was invited to disbanded.  Eileen could be encouraging, but I think she was jealous, because she did not have a college degree.   She asked me why I majored in what I did, because I did not have a steady job.  Eileen did not have a college degree btw.  I did not need to hear this crap looking back.  She was a proponent of the EMI, but one time she just assumed that I wasn't good at something because she wasn't good at it. One time I got together with her and somebody else, she told me to write what I was thankful for, without writing a poem, which must have been a way of frikkin control typical of GCM Churches.  She does not attend this church anymore, neither do I, however I was foolish to post something on FB and I got some comments that brought back sour memories from the past.  By the way this issue with Eileen, was one many issues I had with various leaders at the church.

 I left in 04 because I was not being fed by the messages in The GCM Church.

After leaving the GCM, I have struggled with trusting people, even leaders at times.  The last church I was involved with, I might have overreacted, even though there were things that brought up the Crap I witnessed in GCM.

[steelgirl]

Looking back the church became more controlling with the leaders who really did not know what they were doing, or the authority got to their heads due to the way the organization is..  I should not have continued and put up with this crap.  I should have started finding a way to get out of the situation at the time.  I think this one individual who I really have issues right now was in the Church for way too long.  She only left because her mentor got let go.  The church could have just succeeded with a more of a campus focus.  From what I have noticed in my area, GCM nowadays succeed if they focus on the college students.  I know somebody on staff who has a college degree.  Churches with leadership that looks down on people with college degrees is full of crap.  I should have had my eyes opened yrs ago, that this was control sure as Heck should not have been there.

One church affiliated with GCAC that I know of, seems to succeed.  I have not been there, but I wonder if it is not as much as associated with GCM and the nonsense of thinking they know it all.

[Huldah]

It's amazing how similar our stories are, even though were were at different GC churches at different times. Young, over-controlling, over-confident leadership? Check. Female bully who resented women with education? Check. Difficulty trusting after finally leaving? Check.

Yet, we're the fortunate ones. We left. Some of those people are still there. And you know what? Perhaps the leaders are the ones who are worst off, in a way. If any of them left after decades of serving there, they'd not only lose their livelihoods and all their friends, but they'd have to admit that they devoted their lives to teachings that weren't always true, and in fact, were downright destructive at times. It's not an enviable position.

[EverAStudent]

Huldah, I think I was once more in line with your sympathy for GC leaders: they know nothing else, their money and their relationships are tied to GC, and doing the righteous thing by leaving GC would be costly for them.  

In my waning years I have come to have less sympathy because I never met a GC leader who was truly repentant after leaving.  Most of the GC leaders I personally know were kicked out over power struggles, they made no costly choice for righteousness.  None of them ever recanted their terrible doctrines and offered no sincere apologies for the damage they did to my family's life.  They had their good times at the helm, they made their money, they gloried in the group being called "elder" having been invited to the houses of the elite for "fellowship" even while shunning the rest of us.

Yes, I know, there are testimonies of some of the more well known men who left who seem truly sorry and have changed (yay!).  But of the men I knew, no.  So they have to go find jobs, so did we.  So they have to make new friends, so did we.  So they have to unlearn poor doctrine and break bad spiritual habits, apologize to those whom they harmed, and humbly ask forgiveness of God...ooops, do they??

I do have sympathy and empathy for those who have left, not from political infighting, but from the conviction of conscience imposed by the Holy Spirit, and who have made real sacrifices to do so.  It is sad I have never known such men from GC personally.
  

[steelgirl]

My mentor was mentored by a staff member.  There was some power struggle and this leader got fired.  When this leader got fired Eileen finally left Great Commission Ministries, after being involved for over 15 yrs.  Eileen was very involved and only when her mentor left did she leave. 

I am glad to know that other people struggle as I do with trusting people in church.  I am cautious at the church I attend now.  I witnessed things in the church I attended in my last church that brought back not great memories and perhaps overreacted to stuff.  I am a little more free spirited and not as stable and this could come off as not being willing to work.  I wish I was not there as long as I was.  I however did get to go on a service trip, which was a high point.

Some of the other stuff I experienced, has scarred me.  I know what we put up with GCM is not as bad as The International Church of Christ.

[Huldah]

EAS, it's not so much that I have sympathy for them, as that I'm imagining how horrified I myself would feel if I woke up one day to find that my entire life's work turned out to be a lie. But maybe that wake-up has never come for any of them. We all know that apologies will not be forthcoming, short of a miracle of grace in the elders' hearts.

[Huldah]

With toxic leaders, there are no happy endings, no matter how hard you pray. You just have to move on.

That's from a Forbes article I just came across on Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill church. It seemed fitting to quote it here.

[Linda]

Huldah,

Thanks for posting the Forbes link. I saw that article a couple days ago and it really resonated with me. The whole Mars Hill/Driscoll fiasco is so very sad on so many levels and it will be sobering for GC elders when/if they realize that their organization is structured much the same. Although, I would say that Driscoll seemed to be more of a dictator and GC seems to be an oligarchy. Either way, the legacy is:

Hurting/shunned church members and former church members.
Fired/shunned former pastors/elders.
Elders who Lord it over others and apparently have no idea they are doing this.

EAS, it's not so much that I have sympathy for them, as that I'm imagining how horrified I myself would feel if I woke up one day to find that my entire life's work turned out to be a lie. But maybe that wake-up has never come for any of them. We all know that apologies will not be forthcoming, short of a miracle of grace in the elders' hearts.

I have sometimes thought this, also. I go between feeling sorry for the elders who have been so misled and then feeling sad for the hundreds who have been hurt/rejected by those very GC elders.

A paragraph in the Forbes article that caught my eye was:

"But a number of psychologists have told me that the truly toxic leaders, the ones who manage to cause trouble on the scale of a Driscoll, are tragically irredeemable as managers. Oftentimes, the disciplining process only teaches them new ways to exploit the system while pretending to obey it. (Bear in mind that Driscoll himself has been claiming for years that he’s been making progress on his shortcomings.)"

This is not to say that Driscoll (if the allegations are true) is "irredeemable" as a human being, or "unforgivable". However, when people have mismanaged on a large scale, and their actions have hurt others (things like firing those who disagree and causing financial hardship or shunning), they are not ready for leadership positions in the near future and they most certainly need to show some sense of true remorse over their actions and make an attempt at restitution with those whose lives were turned upside down by their arrogant/sinful actions.

Here is another article about Mars Hill that might resonate with some who have left a GC church.

http://www.seattleweekly.com/home/954633-129/the-reckoning-of-mars-hill

Interesting that someone mentioned PTSD. Maybe a number of us have suffered from that to differing degrees.

I do think the best thing that happened to Mark Driscoll is that he is being held accountable for his actions and the best thing that could happen to Mars Hill Church is that they figure out that the church is not the pastor and the self-appointed elder board, but the members, who according to the Word of God have each been given gifts to build up the church. May they be bold to exercise their gifts.

[steelgirl]

I started coming to this GCM church because they had active groups for singles.
I also wanted to attend a different church than parents, among other reasons.
The church was wonderful despite immature leadership for me at the time..

After the big move to Florida, some of the typical abusive and controlling ways became more
obvious.  I did not start wondering about abuse until I decided to leave.  

Back in 07 or 08, I wondered about this church organization for what
I experienced.

[margaret]

steelgirl, I am SO distrusting of churches now...and church people.  I feel bad, because they are still God's people, and I don't want to insult Him, by not trusting his people....does that make sense?  I am just a couple years out of GCM now...still flailing about...was in for over 30. 
Open to suggestions

[steelgirl]

I don't trust people. Yet one does not need to reveal all of one's cards.  I am very leery of church leadership.