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Author Topic: Looks like courtship craziness happens on the west coast too  (Read 8942 times)
puff of purple smoke
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« on: July 08, 2008, 06:34:52 am »

Engaged in July, wedding set for August: http://www.theunion.com/article/20080708/COMMUNITY/705822472/1058/OPINION&parentprofile=-1

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She is a manager at The Novel Cafe in Santa Monica and a missionary for Great Commission Ministries in Los Angeles.
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steelgirl
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« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2008, 07:21:11 pm »

Sometimes it is best just to get married for convenience and to keep from sexual immoraltiy. I go to a church where I will not get married in is because there are a lot of member and they expect the couple to be engaged for 6 mos and the couple has to be dating for a yr.  That is too long for me personally.
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Huldah
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« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2008, 10:13:00 pm »

This topic reminds me of the old saying, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
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Linda
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« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2008, 07:08:02 am »

Knowing nothing about the specifics of the couple mentioned above, my comment is a general observation. First off, I am a supporter of short engagements (to me that means enough time to plan the wedding, whatever that may be).

One thing that troubled me about our church was the arbitrary way that couples were given permission to marry. To an outsider like me (meaning not married to someone in leadership or on that road) it looked like children of the leaders got the "fast pass" to a wedding. Others, who had permission from their parents, were required to wait for months, even years, till the pastor deemed them ready for marriage.

My question is, what business is it of the pastors to tell people when they can get married if all parties involved are Christians and the parents all think it's a good idea? On the other hand, I am aware of GC people whose parents didn't think it was a good idea for them to marry and they did so anyway. The obvious message here is that the pastor's opinion is more important than the parent's. For any parents reading this, be warned.

I think a warning sign of a high control group is the leaders controlling when a couple gets married. What that does is make the couple try all the harder to please the leader who has the power to give them the marriage go ahead.

Here's the verse that comes to mind about that from I Timothy 4:
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Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons,  through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.
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Concerned
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« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2008, 08:22:44 am »

Quote from: "Linda"
Knowing nothing about the specifics of the couple mentioned above, my comment is a general observation. First off, I am a supporter of short engagements (to me that means enough time to plan the wedding, whatever that may be).

One thing that troubled me about our church was the arbitrary way that couples were given permission to marry. To an outsider like me (meaning not married to someone in leadership or on that road) it looked like children of the leaders got the "fast pass" to a wedding. Others, who had permission from their parents, were required to wait for months, even years, till the pastor deemed them ready for marriage.

My question is, what business is it of the pastors to tell people when they can get married if all parties involved are Christians and the parents all think it's a good idea? On the other hand, I am aware of GC people whose parents didn't think it was a good idea for them to marry and they did so anyway. The obvious message here is that the pastor's opinion is more important than the parent's. For any parents reading this, be warned.

I think a warning sign of a high control group is the leaders controlling when a couple gets married. What that does is make the couple try all the harder to please the leader who has the power to give them the marriage go ahead.

Here's the verse that comes to mind about that from I Timothy 4:
Quote
Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons,  through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.


Its reading stuff like this that makes me glad we left!
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puff of purple smoke
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« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2008, 08:01:51 am »

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On the other hand, I am aware of GC people whose parents didn't think it was a good idea for them to marry and they did so anyway. The obvious message here is that the pastor's opinion is more important than the parent's. For any parents reading this, be warned.


Knew of a case where two leaders were getting married, against their parents wishes (who thought it was too short of an engagement, we're talking 2 months or so after they started 'courting' - having never dated) but the pastors approved so they did it. There was some family strife created because of this but it didn't seem to matter to anyone.
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Linda
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« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2008, 10:01:35 am »

Quote from: "Puff"
There was some family strife created because of this but it didn't seem to matter to anyone.


I'm guessing it mattered to the family!
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Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.
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