So What is the RIGHT Way for Christians to date?

Ned_Flanders

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So What is the RIGHT Way for Christians to date?

« on: November 12, 2013, 03:27:57 am »

Whenever I tell people I used to belong to this Church that didn't approve of dating, they look at me funny and often say, "So how did people get to know each other?"

For those here (and I guess that's the lot of us) who disagree with the ideas of GCx... i.e., guys and girls should remain separate; treat a woman like a sister or a wife- NO exceptions; don't approach a sister until you are ready to make a serious commitment to her (marriage); not dating but courting; etc., etc.

In the Church I was involved in before GCx, there was dating. I think the GCx idea of no dating would have been ridiculous to those people. But there were pregnancies out of wedlock. I'd also heard about some people who slept around. There was no ongoing teaching by the elders on guy/girl relationships. I never dated anybody in that Church. In fact, I never dated anyone by the time I got to GCx. I was very young when I got involved. I thought, maybe I'll meet a nice girl in this Church but I found out real fast that "we don't do that here."

So I'm just wondering what you all think. Of course, I'm glad for this forum and I'm glad people have been validated here for the messed-up things they experienced. But I get it about what GCx did wrong. And I think the shaming and guilt trips were the worst part. But my question is, what should dating look like? How young is too young to date? Should people date one-on-one, or in groups? How do you feel about pre-marital sex? Is it OK for engaged couples? What about dating non-Christians? What do you all think about these things?


« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 07:34:09 am by Ned_Flanders »	Logged

EverAStudent

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Re: So What is the RIGHT Way for Christians to date?

« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2013, 09:32:42 am »

As someone who is owned by Christ my answer to your questions must be focused on, and from out of, His commandments, however I know that many who have left would prefer to address this question purely from cultural, personal, or relativistic perspectives.

Scriptures remain utterly silent on providing commandments for the mechanics of dating, courting, and engagement. Based on that silence one can assume God has no directives for how to date (like group versus couples-only dating), or how to become engaged, or even whether to date versus having a friend or matchmaking service find someone for you.

God has provided many commandments regarding our behaviors and personal morality, even though He is silent on the mechanics of dating:
- no sex outside of marriage (no fornication, no adultery)
- marriage is for life, but engagements are free to be broken
- lust is a sin
- drunkeness is a sin
- etc.

So long as our personal behaviors are moral (as defined by the New Testament) how we date, if we date, when we date, where we date, how often we date, or even whether we propose marriage, are all decisions we have freedom to decide for ourselves.