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December 11, 2017, 08:20:42 am *
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Author Topic: The primary purpose of marriage is to have children  (Read 2647 times)
Moontrap
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« on: September 08, 2017, 08:42:04 pm »

It has been a little more than 2 years since I left the GCx CULTure.  At the end of a recent road trip my wife and I stopped and met with an old friend from my GCx branch, the son of an early member/elderpastor from Ames. My wife and I where quite dumbfounded by his assessment of what marriage is all about. Direct quotes: "The purpose of marriage is to have children" and "If you are not ready to have children, you shouldn't get married"

I thought this was worth posting because I see a huge problem with this mentality, and I have heard this preached by EngineersByEducation elderpastors (specifically this man's father) and those closely associated with him.

The problem I see with this philosophy is this: of the purpose of marriage is to make babies, then people who aren't having babies, or can't have babies, have a purposeless marriage. That is ridiculous! Further more, there was a very authoritative tone to these declarations. Like "I'm right, and you don't understand the Bible of you don't agree with me" This is an excellent example of the overreach of leadership in GCx branches.

I hope people who are reading this will be aware of this mentality among some GCx branches. I hope you will (if you are blessed with a spouse) have a full life serving Christ whether or not you have children. It is for freedom Christ has set you free. (gal 5:5) I am so glad to be out from under the yoke of slavery I experienced at GACC.



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Ned_Flanders
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« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2017, 07:35:15 pm »

Hi Moontrap, I sent you a PM in response to your post.
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Free in Christ
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« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2017, 03:31:05 pm »

Hi MoonTrap,
This might seem slightly off topic, but it reminds me of another thing I was told as it relates to women - namely that it's "unnatural" for any woman to have any leadership role in the workplace. (Not just the church, mind you.) So any working female needs to stay entry level because it would be unnatural for her to have a job "over" a man. It reminds me of what you asked about "what about couples who can't have children. In this case, what about unmarried women? Single working women need to stay entry level for the rest of their lives? (I myself am  a working mom (gasp!) and I'm not entry level, so I've gotten over this one!)

The problem is having these neat categories everyone is supposed to fit in. If you're married, it looks exactly like this. If you're working, it looks exactly like this, etc. etc. Life just isn't like that.
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Huldah
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« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2017, 11:50:45 pm »

Neat little categories, personal opinions or preferences passed off as God's binding commandments, nitpicking the details of each other's lives... it boils down to a lack of trust in the Holy Spirit. Or, more specifically, it was some members trying to be the Holy Spirit, judging and directing and rebuking the lives of the other sheep, assuming they knew the motives of everyone else's heart. It was that way 30-some years ago when I was there, and I'm very sorry to hear that it's still that way.
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margaret
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« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2017, 03:59:25 am »

Exactly, Huldah.  It's not trusting the Holy Spirit in other people's lives. And yes, it's still that way. It was my last straw.
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Ned_Flanders
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« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2017, 07:57:32 am »

Exactly, Huldah.  It's not trusting the Holy Spirit in other people's lives. And yes, it's still that way. It was my last straw.

So even now, September 2017, they're still meddling in other people's lives?  I know they were definitely doing this regarding dating relationships.  Are they still to this day telling people they can't date?
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Janet Easson Martin
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« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2017, 08:27:15 pm »

"Or, more specifically, it was some members trying to be the Holy Spirit, judging and directing and rebuking the lives of the other sheep, assuming they knew the motives of everyone else's heart."


Thank you, Huldah.  What you said above was so true, but I could not always put it into words.  The audacity of leaders (both elders and those under them) to often overtly and arrogantly judge us; in presuming to know our motives, and putting us in "our place".  This behavior seemed modus operandi for many GCx leaders.  It created a condescending and demeaning environment for those under its "care".  It was easy to conclude you were not good enough to really minister or make a difference in the kingdom of God.  How mistreated and misled we were!!!

« Last Edit: October 21, 2017, 08:11:30 am by Janet Easson Martin » Logged

For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.        - Saint Augustine
MisterPenguin42
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« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2017, 05:49:57 pm »

First off, I'm so excited that there's somebody in this forum named "Ned_Flanders". That's awesome.

Second,
Quote
Are they still to this day telling people they can't date?
Oh, absolutely. Why would they stop? You can't just give up control because people want to begin a courtship. No, you've gotta double down. Now boys and girls can take on people. It's great. It's the toll road of GCx. 
 
My now-wife and I kept our dating life and engagement life a secret, because screw that culture. Everybody was floored and chastised us for keeping things quiet, accusing us of dishonesty. Look, if you want full transparency, let's go full transparency. I want a list of every f***ing transgression throughout your day. Oh, that's too intrusive? Then back off! There's no lines with this people, except the ones they change on a constant basis. 
 
Third, 
For my wife and I, we're able to help the church far more without children. We're better together than the sum of our parts kinda thing. I checked the Bible and there's nothing that defines all marriages as child-rearing. This piece of doctrine is idiotic and falsely interpreted. Most likely, they found parenthood less than thrilling and want company in their misery. (Please let me know if I've crossed a line). 
 
This community is great! I love helping others heal. Smiley
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Janet Easson Martin
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« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2017, 07:59:03 pm »

Mister Penguin42,

Good for you for not making yourself accountable to people who are truly NOT God's appointed authority!!  Wise move!  There is no transgression on your part to keep silent on your dating. They have no business running your life or anyone else's.  They, by their behavior and own words are False Teachers according to the Bible.  They will distract us from our VERY PERSONAL walk with Christ!!!  They are an obstacle for us to actually listen to God and follow Him closely, the word of God confirms.  

"You were running a good race.  Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?  That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you."

Galatians 5:7-8
 (emphasis mine)


Brazenly, many GCx leaders seem to compete with each other on how many people they could do what they call "reprove".  They are actually knocking down, disrespecting, insulting, negatively labeling, verbally lashing, shaming, and showing contempt toward others in their practice of "reproving".  As would follow, the leaders' disciples or under leaders also feel the right to use these same tactics to "disciple" those under them.  

"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough"
"
Galatians 5:9


"You have such admirable tolerance for impostors who rob your freedom...
put you down—even slap your face!"

2 Corinthians 11:20 The Message


Very very few of these so-called "corrections" were from God's Spirit or his Truth.  What a horribly unhealthy introduction into the "body of Christ"!  No WONDER God warns us to flee from them!

"I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision
or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ’s hard-won gift
of freedom is squandered
.  I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways
 of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for
the obligations of the slave life of the law."

Galatians 5:2-3. The Message


I very much agree that God calls couples into individual purpose & glory!  
« Last Edit: December 09, 2017, 11:42:27 am by Janet Easson Martin » Logged

For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.        - Saint Augustine
Ned_Flanders
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« Reply #9 on: Yesterday at 06:04:13 pm »

Hi-dilly-ho, MisterPenguin42,

Glad you appreciate my name!  And thanks also for answering my question.  But sad to hear of course that they're still controlling people in the area of dating, even in 2017.  
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 06:30:48 pm by Ned_Flanders » Logged
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