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Author Topic: Bothered by lack of concern for those who leave  (Read 18035 times)
Anonymous
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« on: March 16, 2007, 10:58:05 am »

Samuel, yes I’m a bit of a hot head, I thank God for grace and benefit from it personally greatly. I’m bothered by the lack of concern (unintentional) for families we-I care about who are left behind, still honostly seeking to serve God to the best of their ability–unaware of the continuing history of gcm. There is grace for the perpetraters( beit nievely–or not–at the hands of the pastsors) let the sheep fend for themselves. The level of commitment to the organization has gone beyond decency. People who leave don’t usually say why. and gcmers don’t ask the people why they left. there is a sick loyalty to this place. Are the people left behind not are brothers and sisters?is it right it right to leave and say nothing?? but what do you say or start Huh I left quite a while ago but I can’t let this go. the repercussions of being a member still reverberate through my wife and children.
Duped
ps I’m enjoying this blog alot!!
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Anonymous
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« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2007, 10:58:21 am »

People who leave don’t usually say why. and gcmers don’t ask the people why they left.

I have seen this so many times! It is so strange how people can stop attending GCM functions and nobody lifts a finger to find out why. It’s like people are only valued if they are contributing something to GCM (ie: increasing attendance numbers.) I have brought this up many times with leaders but nobody seemed concerned, and some played it off as okay, but in cases where I knew the people who stopped attending, I often found myself the ONLY person who was still attempting to keep in contact with them. People are not projects!
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ScottChase
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« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2007, 10:59:01 am »

Ok I know this is an old post but I figure I have a little bit extra to add. I have actually left the same GC church twice. Why I ever went back only God knows but at that time I was listening to him and he said I had something important to do, I still believe this by the way.
During my first period of having left only 1 person from GC kept in regular contact with me. She was a dear friend of mine and had things in my life played out differently I may very well not have been sitting here typing on this board but instead be across an ocean.

Were this all became odd is when I came back nearly no one knew any of the circumstances of why I had left and its not like I wasn’t well know within the church in fact I would say I was very well known and the events leading up to my departure were known by at least a dozen people within the church. What concerns me about this is that my friends within the church not associated with the aforementioned events had no clue as to their undertaking which basically amounted to me expressing my feelings for a daughter of one of the regional leaders without church consent. The last thing said to me by the daughter when I was leaving basically amounted to asking me to not discuss GC in a negative way in respect of the loyalty I once had for the church (when complimenting me she always described me first most as loyal in retrospect this really freaks me out now) I saw GC for at least a part of what it really was and spent the next 2 years of my life wondering why my former friends who I had thought were so close to me had abandoned me completely.
When I came back to the church my life basically resumed from were I left off I was offered my choice small groups to join that were in need of strong disciplers and courted as if I was some sort of prize by a number of small group leaders. It was crazy but this made me feel important again. I was greeted as a changed man, leaders remarked about the changes they could see I had made just from being around me a week or two.

Unfortunately I saw even more of the brokenness I had seen before and only ended up staying for about a year in that time garnering the support of leadership to attempt to court one of the female leaders getting turned down by her and subsequently having my wisdom I had gained in being turned down used to council others who encountered similar situations.

I saw the things I had seen before had not changed and slowly made the effort to leave. It was difficult but became more apparent to me as I saw my own behavior change in ways I didn’t want to. I know that we are responsible for our own actions yet at the time I couldn’t believe the anger that I had on the inside and the ways it was manifesting itself. I knew I had to get out of the church again or risk losing everything.

I tried changing to a different small group first to see if that would help in any way and joined a singles group that was completely different from the college groups but not in any good sort of way. They didn’t have many of the same problems that I saw in the church as a whole but at the same time there was no connection it felt like I had joined the castaways, all the people that couldn’t or didn’t deserve to be married off. So I just gradually left last time no big bang or anything but just slipped away. I still hang out with some of my old friends on occasion from GC but that is about it now.
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