Janet Easson Martin
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« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2018, 02:50:37 pm » |
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Hi JustGiveMeJesus!
I remember being your age and feeling a little lost. Unfortunately, I had been in a GCx church for five years then and was getting very bored, a little lonely, and didn’t know where to turn because GCx had taught me if I left them, I would be cutting myself off from God (in so many words). That was scary, so I stayed...another five years. You are actually BLESSED to have gotten out so young, though you may not realize yet how much. Not having an immediate group of friends to hang out with is hard. But, they WILL come. It will take time, but if you initiate in visiting other groups that include some Christians you will eventually make some connections.
About 6 months after I left was one of the darkest times of my life because I felt alone, confused about REAL Christianity, and fearing I might be straying from God (though I was not) with no immediate solutions insight. However, little did I know that God had some sweet believers for me to gel with through group counseling I attended in my distress. I highly recommend a good Christian counselor at this time. I was also starting to attend a new church where, much to my surprise, God was going to bring a very kind man into my life. But, at the time, I could not see any of these good futures, so the devil had a hay day with me.
I, personally, feel much of what I experienced in the way of friendships at GCx we’re actually conditional because that is how people were taught to value their relationships. The amount someone was committed to GCx, not Jesus, determined the value of the relationship. We were actually told in tri-weekly teachings to put our family aside, assigning them a low priority because they didn’t attend the church or weren’t “gung ho” about it. Oh how I WISH I had never done that. But, I had a wise and very caring mother. She would show up every so often at church, and even attend a conference or two so she could keep in touch with what was happening with us and our “church” (though she did not agree with what was being taught). I know she and the rest of our family prayed us out of there.
So, even though someone loves Jesus, they likely will be distanced as they do less activity with the group; and, most of time, dropped as a “friend” when they leave. Some GCx churches actually teach you are “divorcing” them by leaving. The people want the acceptance of their GCx group, so they join in the ignoring, avoiding, and rejecting of those who go. The basis for those friendships is obviously not Jesus, but an idol.
Most friendships made in GCx, from my first hand observation and from listening to testimony on this site, are created with an agenda to primarily serve GCx, not Jesus! That is the problem. People there don’t tend to listen to the Holy Spirit to make bonds, but to men - mentors and leaders, with the goal of growing the number of their “disciples”. As has been well said on here, GCx followers usually move on to the most “profitable” relationship that will move their status up in the group. Often, this is a result of meetings they have to discuss their followers. Whoever is bringing in the numbers is to be held in high esteem, no matter how they get them to stay. Below is a quote from someone on this forum (who left in 2005) describing this disingenuous “friendship” system:
Another troubling aspect of the group that I began to notice was how new members were treated. It seemed like our group went through the same cycle over and over again. New Person would join, and suddenly the leaders would be obsessed with that person and want to hang out with them many times a week. In some cases that New Person would decide to stick around and join the group. As time went on, I saw how the excitement over new people diminished after another New Person arrived, or upon the discovery that the New Person wasn't "leadership material." That is, wasn't changing their life and becoming a "core" GC'er fast enough. If the previous New Person would one day stop coming to events, often nobody on the group ever seemed to attempt to find out why! I would ask around the group, "Hey, whatever happened to (Person)?" and the response was pretty much "beats me." It seemed like a person was only valued as long as they were active in the group. In so many cases I was the only person who even tried to contact someone after they left (and it wasn't hard, we had their phone number on the small group contact list). This happened many times, and each time it boggled my mind.” -puff of purple smoke
Also Praying for You,
Janet
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