Gofundme support

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Boggs]

I'm feeling frustrated with the discourse this morning. I read aggressive posts by people like Godtrumpsall, jeromydaviddarling, Digital Lynch Mob, and iamnotafraid, and I'm discouraged that nothing productive comes from engaging with them.

I'm going to try something different. For every post they make I'm going to donate $10 to the legal expense fund to empower the alleged victims. Post away.  

SCOREBOARD AS OF 9:30AM CST:
$0  Godtrumpsall (95 posts)
$0  jeromydaviddarling (75 posts)
$0  Digital Lynch Mob (64 posts)
$0  iamnotafraid (26 posts)

[AgathaL'Orange]

Some people may not be aware of what you are talking about.

Can you post a link? TY

[Differentstrokes]

This is a great idea, if you can afford it! I might donate some myself lol

[Boggs]

Can you post a link? TY

https://www.gofundme.com/helping-victims-of-mark-d039s-abuse

[jeromydaviddarling]

Does no one see the irony that the person feeling frustrated with the discourse has just posted one of the most threatening posts to date? Daring Mark's children to post lest we send more money to Suzanne's legal fund? PS - since she has no criminal case or civil case (according to every lawyer we've talked to) her GoFundMe amounts to a tower of Babel. It's symbolic Boggs... and what happens if Mark's kids open up their own GoFundMe and drag our nets across the entire country? I'm happy to pick your pockets if that's what you're asking me to do.

[RicktRoll]

Can I get added to the Scoreboard?!

I wanna help too!

[RestinHimalone]

Wow Just seeing all of this. I am a former member of the Rock. I’m so glad we left if this is how members of the congregation (I know who the real names from the rock who are posting here) treat fellow Christians. So glad we are at a healthy multi site church now, it’s not a perfect church but much healthier.

[jeromydaviddarling]

Wow Just seeing all of this. I am a former member of the Rock. I’m so glad we left if this is how members of the congregation (I know who the real names from the rock who are posting here) treat fellow Christians. So glad we are at a healthy multi site church now, it’s not a perfect church but much healthier.

You're stunned that Mark's children would strongly defend him against unfounded allegations of sexual abuse? I never set foot on this site until that happened. How do you even know other members on here are actually "fellow Christians"?

[RestinHimalone]

If there’s an investigation underway just let the attorneys take care of it and your dads name will be cleared .And if some of these people attended a great commission church I’m sure most got saved so yes I’m willing to bet most are Christians. Pray for those who persecute you as Jesus said.

[Rebel in a Good Way]

Great idea, Boggs. It would be unethical for an attorney to accept money for a case that has no legitimacy (which could be true because of the statute of limitations).  So we've been told.  Although there are many unethical professionals out there to choose from, apparently.  I'm sure she and the other women are smart enough to contact multiple attorneys and get a robust understanding of their options.

Unused donations will go to an abuse-related if they're not utilized in an actual case.  But consulting with an attorney in the meantime is certainly a good idea because that might put them on a little more even ground with ECC's attorney (given that they enjoy attorney-client privilege, and their attorney consulted with the board about how to handle Suzanne).  Or maybe ECC will accept payment for the results of the investigation so they can be made public?  I wonder what it would be worth to them...

[iamnotafraid]

I'm feeling frustrated with the discourse this morning. I read aggressive posts by people like Godtrumpsall, jeromydaviddarling, Digital Lynch Mob, and iamnotafraid, and I'm discouraged that nothing productive comes from engaging with them.

I'm going to try something different. For every post they make I'm going to donate $10 to the legal expense fund to empower the alleged victims. Post away.  

SCOREBOARD AS OF 9:30AM CST:
$0  Godtrumpsall (95 posts)
$0  jeromydaviddarling (75 posts)
$0  Digital Lynch Mob (64 posts)
$0  iamnotafraid (26 posts)

It's a funny thing to me, this GoFundMe. When our family went through this my mother hired her own representation, not her friends, because she knew she had a case and it was settled in court 30 days later. We are how many years past the supposed abuse and her husband still won't front the money for an attorney. This is wonderful you are happy to contribute. I'd be happy to post just to see someone help this lady out. Kind of pathetic if you ask me. You do realize Boggs, you need to stand by your word. We will be watching the GoFundMe page and hope you stick to your promises. Do you have thousands to contribute?

[MicahJoelDarling]

If there’s an investigation underway just let the attorneys take care of it and your dads name will be cleared .And if some of these people attended a great commission church I’m sure most got saved so yes I’m willing to bet most are Christians. Pray for those who persecute you as Jesus said.

RestInHimAlone,

I posted this question on another site, but I think it is relevant here. If you saw a loved one, a family member, directly in front of you, getting physically attacked by a group of individuals, would you try to defend that loved one? That is all we are doing. We are not trying to fight. We are stepping in the midst of this abuse, willingly defending our parents and taking blows so they don't have to. If it gives them even the slightest reprieve, it is worth it. If I can stand between them and their abusers and block even one blow out of the hundreds they have been taking, it is worth it. I'm sorry if you disagree with that. My parents have been publicly abused with no defense long enough.

And just because I am defending my family from abuse does not mean that I am not praying for those who are persecuting them. I am. I pray for them every day.


Proverbs 31:8-9
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

Matthew 7:12
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Galatians 6:2
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Luke 10:30-37
Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.

“By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

“Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’

“Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked.

The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.”

Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

Proverbs 25:18
Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow.

[Boggs]

Good morning De-Comm - it's been 24 hours and the results are in.

FINAL SCORES FOR 24 HOURS OF DE-COMMISSIONED
$60   Godtrumpsall (6 new posts, 101 total)
$160  jeromydaviddarling (16 new posts, 91 total)
$30   Digital Lynch Mob (3 new posts, 69 total)
$50   iamnotafraid (5 new posts, 31 total)
$10   RicktRoll (1 new post, added at his/her request)

I've made a donation to the legal fund for $310.

Now, after taking a day off from the forum I have some thoughts. First - I realize my original post may have come across as an effort to silence the four users I mentioned. I don't want to eliminate dissent and balanced discussion. What I do want to reduce is aggressive tone and personal attacks all around. I've noticed a few really healthy posts in the last day that I wanted to point out:

Quality responses by DLM, who I named yesterday, and LuisCamachoIII on the GCx and Racism thread - respectful, informative, positive.
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/general-discussion/gcx-and-racism/

This post by iamnotafraid was also very positive and helpful.
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/hellos-and-testimonies/evergreen-experience-(part-i)/msg15538/#msg15538

To all three Darling kids I've seen posting here - I can't even relate to what you must be experiencing right now. Micah and Jessica, I've noticed your posts and they seem passionate yet respectful and I appreciate that.

Finally, my donation isn't meant to be offensive or threatening, it's meant to be helpful. Jeromy, you seemed to have a particularly negative reaction to it. I think it's important that every person have a chance to safely tell their story and have the support to be heard. Retaining an attorney can help tell your story with confidence. Let the truth be told, whatever it may be.

All of us have more in common than we might first think. At a minimum we've all spent a lot of time in the same kind of churches!

[jeromydaviddarling]

Good morning De-Comm - it's been 24 hours and the results are in.

FINAL SCORES FOR 24 HOURS OF DE-COMMISSIONED
$60   Godtrumpsall (6 new posts, 101 total)
$160  jeromydaviddarling (16 new posts, 91 total)
$30   Digital Lynch Mob (3 new posts, 69 total)
$50   iamnotafraid (5 new posts, 31 total)
$10   RicktRoll (1 new post, added at his/her request)

I've made a donation to the legal fund for $310.

Now, after taking a day off from the forum I have some thoughts. First - I realize my original post may have come across as an effort to silence the four users I mentioned. I don't want to eliminate dissent and balanced discussion. What I do want to reduce is aggressive tone and personal attacks all around. I've noticed a few really healthy posts in the last day that I wanted to point out:

Quality responses by DLM, who I named yesterday, and LuisCamachoIII on the GCx and Racism thread - respectful, informative, positive.
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/general-discussion/gcx-and-racism/

This post by iamnotafraid was also very positive and helpful.
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/hellos-and-testimonies/evergreen-experience-(part-i)/msg15538/#msg15538

To all three Darling kids I've seen posting here - I can't even relate to what you must be experiencing right now. Micah and Jessica, I've noticed your posts and they seem passionate yet respectful and I appreciate that.

Finally, my donation isn't meant to be offensive or threatening, it's meant to be helpful. Jeromy, you seemed to have a particularly negative reaction to it. I think it's important that every person have a chance to safely tell their story and have the support to be heard. Retaining an attorney can help tell your story with confidence. Let the truth be told, whatever it may be.

All of us have more in common than we might first think. At a minimum we've all spent a lot of time in the same kind of churches!

I'm trying to understand this - in the same post where you broadcast how much money you just gave to the woman who's falsely accusing my father of sexual abuse and emotionally/spiritually tormenting my parents on a daily basis, you then proceed tell me I'm being too negative and harsh and try to offer solace to my siblings, and you don't see how two-faced that is? No one in my family has an attorney, least of all my dad, who on a meager pastor salary, living in a twin home and driving a 20 year old car couldn't even afford to sue Suzanne for libel (and if he did, what would he get out of that?). How exactly does retaining an attorney help me tell my story any more confidently than I already have and where is the Biblical precedence for it? I'll keep my own tally going forward - $170.

[jeromydaviddarling]

Incidentally, there's a very easy way to stop the onslaught of pro-Mark comments and defenders - stop using this website to spread unfounded allegations against my dad. The moment that happens, you guys can all go back to using this site as your safe space to talk endlessly about the failings of the church we love.

$180

[GretchenGail]

Wow Just seeing all of this. I am a former member of the Rock. I’m so glad we left if this is how members of the congregation (I know who the real names from the rock who are posting here) treat fellow Christians. So glad we are at a healthy multi site church now, it’s not a perfect church but much healthier.

This just makes me sad to read, especially knowing you were a friend of mine. Comparisons are not kind and not healthy. I'm glad you love your church. I love my church very much too!

[Boggs]

Jeromy, pretty sure I'm not going to make you happy unless I claim categorically that your father is surely innocent and there is no need to investigate any claims against him. I don't know your father well enough to do that, and I don't know Suzanne well enough to do that, so instead I advocate for an independent investigation. You probably can't set aside your blinders to do this but imagine if your sister or mother was making allegations against someone in power. Would you want them to have a chance to be heard? Of course!

I see you're keeping a tally of your posts. Did you want me to continue donating in your honor? I wasn't planning to continue because it seemed like it was misconstrued but I've got more cash in my charity budget to spend.

Also this statement is still free for the taking:
"We firmly believe that the accusations are baseless and inaccurate. We are committed to an independent investigation and fully expect the investigation to prove Mark's innocence. We will have no further comment until the investigation is concluded."

If you would stop stirring the pot here you might be surprised at how quietly the rest of us wait for the results of an independent investigation.

[Rebel in a Good Way]

It also seems like participating in the investigation would uncover slander if that is the case.  That would be at no cost to him. 

Today Suzanne proposed that ECC and the women making allegations agree upon an investigator together and both sides agree the results be made public.  Seems like the perfect way to vindicate your father.  If there is no possible way he did any of this, what element of risk is even involved in this?  If there's nothing to find, nothing will be found.  You have made it very clear that ALL of the evidence is in your father's favor.  So why would he hesitate to ask the board to follow through with this?  You have eye witnesses, a therapist, etc.  You have come on here presenting everything you have as bullet proof.  So, go for it.

ECC has the luxury of using congregant tithes and offerings for any legal expenses.  The victims do not, hence the GoFundMe page.   I'm guessing that if the public result is that these women are making up every single thing and your father stands above reproach, the church would have legal options to recover their legal fees as well as damages to your father.  As someone who is calling for an investigation, I would also contribute to a fund if he is cleared of all charges and financial amends/restitution were called for.  It would be the right thing to do, as evidenced throughout the Old Testament law and the example of Zaccheus.  Not only do you make things right by paying people back, you go above and beyond.

You can chastise people all you want for believing victims but also having compassion for your family.  That reveals something about your heart, don't you think?  Is it because you don't think other people can hold such feelings?  Or are you just saying you don't want them to express it?  Which would also be confusing because you judge people for being...I honestly can't keep track of all the things you've said here--cowardly, two-faced, unbiblical, etc.  It seems that to you, love and support are equated with complete trust and inability to believe that someone could have fallen in to deep sin.  Compassion is equated with not confronting problems.   That is definitely outside of a biblical view of humans.

[jeromydaviddarling]

Jeromy, pretty sure I'm not going to make you happy unless I claim categorically that your father is surely innocent and there is no need to investigate any claims against him. I don't know your father well enough to do that, and I don't know Suzanne well enough to do that, so instead I advocate for an independent investigation. You probably can't set aside your blinders to do this but imagine if your sister or mother was making allegations against someone in power. Would you want them to have a chance to be heard? Of course!

I see you're keeping a tally of your posts. Did you want me to continue donating in your honor? I wasn't planning to continue because it seemed like it was misconstrued but I've got more cash in my charity budget to spend.

Also this statement is still free for the taking:
"We firmly believe that the accusations are baseless and inaccurate. We are committed to an independent investigation and fully expect the investigation to prove Mark's innocence. We will have no further comment until the investigation is concluded."

If you would stop stirring the pot here you might be surprised at how quietly the rest of us wait for the results of an independent investigation.

1. My mother, wife and sisters would never accuse someone, exclusively on social media, with vague accusations, no evidence and no eyewitnesses 18 years after it happened. If GOD FORBID, anything every happened to them, they would tell their husbands and friends (and police if applicable) immediately and I would vocally, loudly and publicly defend them (unlike John).

2. If you weren't planning to continue your donations, you never said so until just now. Until you officially express the end of this offensive silence tactic, yes I'll keep a tally.

3. I'm not stirring the pot. I'm trying to take my dad out of the pot he's being boiled in. The irony of someone who dared me to be silent lest he contribute money to my dad's accuser turning around and telling me I'm stirring the pot seems to be lost only on you.

4. Suzanne and most people on this board have made it very clear they won't respect the investigation on any conceivable level, and want to start a brand new one on their own terms, without revealing their names to anyone publicly. That has no Biblical precedent and you continue to ignore all of this.

5. It's still offensive and backwards that someone who actually knows me but is hiding his name from me is giving me advice on how to deal with this.

$200

[MicahJoelDarling]

Jeromy, pretty sure I'm not going to make you happy unless I claim categorically that your father is surely innocent and there is no need to investigate any claims against him. I don't know your father well enough to do that, and I don't know Suzanne well enough to do that, so instead I advocate for an independent investigation. You probably can't set aside your blinders to do this but imagine if your sister or mother was making allegations against someone in power. Would you want them to have a chance to be heard? Of course!

I see you're keeping a tally of your posts. Did you want me to continue donating in your honor? I wasn't planning to continue because it seemed like it was misconstrued but I've got more cash in my charity budget to spend.

Also this statement is still free for the taking:
"We firmly believe that the accusations are baseless and inaccurate. We are committed to an independent investigation and fully expect the investigation to prove Mark's innocence. We will have no further comment until the investigation is concluded."

If you would stop stirring the pot here you might be surprised at how quietly the rest of us wait for the results of an independent investigation.

Boggs, I posted this elsewhere, but I feel that it relates directly to what you are talking about:

Unfortunately, an impartial investigation is already underway and has been for weeks. Believe what you will, but my father has even less control over this current investigation than Suzanne. It was her false accusations that prompted it in the first place. He has had no choice over the selection of the investigator and has as little power over the results as Suzanne. But he is at least cooperating.

Everyone who has been shouting for an independent investigation can keep on shouting, but that doesn't change the fact that one is already underway and has been for weeks. People can assume that a lawyer, whose job it is to perform independent investigations, is not a 3rd party, but assumptions don't make something true. I would think a law degree would even better qualify someone to perform an investigation. They can assume that because ECC paid the lawyer to perform the investigation, it means that the lawyer is somehow representing ECC, but that does not make it true. People don't perform work for free. They can assume, against all reason, that the ECC Board of Trustees will dismiss the results of the investigation no matter what--a slap in the face to the character and personal faith of every one of those people on the Board--but assuming something, once again, does not make it true.

Meanwhile, my father and mother are continually, and almost daily, victims of false allegations, scrutiny, ridicule, and abuse.

So, I ask you to imagine how tiresome, exhausting, and exasperating it is for us, his family, to have people publicly debate hearsay and further promote the false allegations while an investigation is already underway. How difficult it is to not only watch, but experience the pain of these lies every moment of every day and to see them continually get broadcast on an almost daily basis for months. To watch people try and invade and distort and vilify some of our--some of my own--most sacred and precious childhood memories and try to claim that our own father had us brainwashed and that we cannot remember our own childhood.

We're not trying to stir the pot. And one only has to look back about 5 days ago--before any of us family members ever commented--on this forum to see that many here, and on Facebook, were not peacefully remaining quiet and waiting for results. Many on this forum have been very vocally not respecting the integrity of the investigation from the moment it was announced. They continue to encourage the public posting of false allegations while making a mockery of the investigation that is currently underway and completely undermining the integrity of the investigative process.