McCotter and Child Discipline, 2022 Update

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[Huldah]

Jim McCotter has a series of Facebook videos which, until now, I've had zero interest in watching. Recently, however, a new member of this forum posted a heartbreaking account of being abused by his GC parents, who were allegedly following the teachings of McCotter. (Edit: I used the term "allegedly" because GC and McCotter followers have, from time to time, threatened to sue the members of this forum. It doesn't mean that I doubt the stories people have posted here.) Then, shortly after that was posted, McCotter created a Facebook video on child discipline.  I watched that one for about 40 minutes before deciding that I had heard enough. Here are the main points McCotter made, along with some of the proof texts he used. I've transcribed his comments as accurately as I can, but added my own  emphasis where it seemed helpful.

Basic ideas in the video:

1. Children are foolish, i.e., "silly." This foolishness is an outworking of sin.
2. This foolishness can only be removed by discipline.
3. Discipline is, by definition, spanking.
4. Discipline must be applied to children from infancy through adolescence.

Supporting verses:

1. Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him."

This is, according to McCotter, "the foundational verse for understanding children." He says, "When babies cry, it's really an act of selfishness... I don't think Jesus ever cried for milk for himself."  At some point in the video, he transitions from "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child" to "sin is bound up in the heart of a child."

Similar statements throughout the video are:
 "...my child has sin bound in him, and it manifests itself through foolishness and silliness. The only way I can get that out is with a rod."
"[Spanking is] the only thing that God says in the Bible that I know of that will break that that's bound in the heart in the mind and the soul of the child."
"My child has sin bound in him, and it manifests itself through foolishness and silliness. The only way I can get that out is with a rod."
"I don't believe biblically or experientially that there's any child who never needs spanking."

2. Psalm 32:8,9, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, else they will not come near."

McCotter's take on this verse is that we either obey God voluntarily, or God will have to use physical means ("bit and bridle") to make us obey. And since a bit and bridle are physical restraints, they must refer to spanking.

3. Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Since the word "discipline" comes before the word "instruction" in this verse, it means that spanking has to come before instruction in dealing with a child.

My take on all this.

Personally, I find McCotter's handling of Scripture inept, and his attitude toward children heartless. I'm not taking a stand against spanking, per se. I'm just appalled at the idea that punishment--inflicting physical pain--is the first and foremost thing we need to be concerned with when it comes to children. Also, if spanking is the only thing that will drive foolishness or sin from a child's heart, then what's the role of the Gospel? For that matter, isn't there an obvious connection between harsh, graceless spanking of children and harsh, graceless church discipline of adults? Don't both abuses spring from the same root in the abuser's heart?

EDIT TO ADD: For those who've asked whether McCotter taught bad doctrine (as opposed to merely engaging in bad practices), here you go. We know that nothing short of regeneration can cleanse evil from our hearts. Works--our own or our parents'--can't do that.

One other interesting thing:

There have already been several forum posts about a tape on child discipline that McCotter allegedly made in the 70s, where he talks about leaving his kids black and blue.

On the tape, McCotter says, "When you discipline, this verse indicates, as others do, that you want to do it so it wounds. Now, when you say 'wounds,' it doesn't mean that you have a bloody mess on your hands necessarily. It doesn’t mean that you have a child 'wounding' like he has a broken leg." McCotter added in his taped sermon that this means you have been severe enough that the child's attitude at that point has been reversed. "And he may, and often will be, black and blue", McCotter continued. "My children have been many times. And it cleans evil from them."

McCotter actually comments on that statement in the Facebook video.
He says, "I had a psychology professor, Iowa state, said that I quoted that my children were bloody or something like this because of discipline, that I said that. I don't know that I ever said that... certainly you don't want to break any bones, you don't want to be cutting, or, or causing blood or anything like that."

He "doesn't know that he ever said that"... not a denial, but not exactly an innocent man's outraged demand for proof, either. Just a very strange response, IMO.

[Janet Easson Martin]

Interesting Update, Huldah. We see McCotter is up to his same old deception in his comment about “not knowing” what he said. It’s on the audio tape copy of his teaching. He has probably reread that quote on here a dozen times and has the tape himself. If not some others do.

McCotter actually comments on that statement in the Facebook video.
He says, "I had a psychology professor, Iowa state, said that I quoted that my childr were bloody or something like this because of discipline, that I said that. I don't know that I ever said that... certainly you don't want to break any bones, you don't want to be cutting, or, or causing blood or anything like that."

I was thinking the same thing as I read, Huldah —that he’s “teaching discipline” as if taking on God’s job of getting all the sin out. The only bruising and blood that does that is Jesus’s.

[Huldah]

This was just the first of McCotter's planned series on child discipline. I can't recall that he even mentioned loving your child, building a relationship of trust, taking delight in this little person whom God has placed in your care, laying the groundwork to share the Gospel with your child, or even about forms of discipline that don't involve spanking. There was nothing about any of that in the first 40 minutes (the part that I watched).

Once again, I'm not saying that children are sinless or that discipline (which may or may not include spanking) isn't necessary. But to promote a style of parenting in which children are portrayed as adversaries who must have the sin beaten out of them (there's no other word for it than "beaten") is just cruel.

[Huldah]

I was thinking the same thing as I read, Huldah —that he’s “teaching discipline” as if taking on God’s job of getting all the sin out. The only bruising and blood that does that is Jesus’s.

Well put, Janet.

[Linda]

Just to refresh everyone’s memory, here is the article from the Des Moines Register. November 26, 1978.

I actually have a copy of this article because as I was learning about the history of GCC (which led to our departure), I wanted to make sure I had the full story. I ordered the microfiche and had it sent to my library in MN. Figured out the dates from reading Marching to Zion. I was shaking as I read this. It was very upsetting.

I made copies. The teaching is on tape. Here is what the reporter wrote:

McCotter's sermons often are tape recorded and sold at the THEOS owned bookstore. The theories in one tape dealing with child rearing practices drew criticism from ISU child development professor Sedahlia Crase.

Crase says, "A student asked me to invite McCotter to speak to the class because she felt I wasn't presenting the Christian perspective on child-rearing. The student said McCotter was a nationally known authority on children, but I had never heard of him. That's when I learned of the tape. I was shocked when I heard it. He actually advocates bruising children."

Part of the taped sermon was based on Proverbs 20:30, which McCotter translates as, "Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts."

On the tape, McCotter says, "When you discipline, this verse indicates, as others do, that you want to do it so it wounds. Now, when you say 'wounds,' it doesn't mean that you have a bloody mess on your hands necessarily. It doesn't mean that you have a child 'wounding' like he has a broken leg."

McCotter added in his taped sermon that this means you have been severe enough that the child's attitude at that point has been reversed.

"And he may, and often will be, black and blue," McCotter continued. "My children have been many times. And it cleans evil from them."

Says Crase, "What he advocates on this tape is just poor child-rearing practice in every sense of what we know now. Besides that, it's illegal to injure a child and bruising is injuring them. I'm upset that he goes around preaching these kinds of things."

[Janet Easson Martin]

Thank you for presenting the facts in this matter, Linda. This is important since it wasn’t just a personal opinion but presented as a Christian or biblical “teaching”; which is actually shamefully misrepresented. In fact, it paints a picture of a God whose main role in our lives is to punish imperfection. Nothing could be further from the gospel. Tragic misrepresentations like these are why so many don’t get how the gospel really is GOOD NEWS. Teachings like this have turned it into a something cringe-worthy and repelling.

[Huldah]

In fact, it paints a picture of a God whose main role in our lives is to punish imperfection. Nothing could be further from the gospel. Tragic misrepresentations like these are why so many don’t get how the gospel really is GOOD NEWS.

Exactly. Many evangelical teachers (not just GCx*) promoted harsh child discipline in the 70's, 80's, and 90's. I believe it's a major reason why so many young adults raised in Christian homes have rejected the Gospel, and why so many are now leading lives of anger and hopelessness.

If you're here reading this because you're a parent who saw the video and ended up Googling McCotter, welcome. I hope you'll learn as much as you can about McCotter before you decide to trust his teaching on families and children. I also hope you'll search out a variety of Christian views on spanking and discipline, since there are writers and speakers with far better credentials and (IMO) far better moral character than McCotter who have worthwhile things to say. I wish I had had access to opposing views back when my (non-GC) church was promoting spanking as the go-to solution for all parenting problems.

Edit to add: I truly believe that McCotter's teachings are emotionally and spiritually abusive, with dangerous long-term effects. If you do a forum search for "suicidal," you'll find multiple instances of people wanting to end their own lives after involvement with GCx. Even when McCotter left to pursue a secular career, he left at least one suicide in his wake. (See Ken Nicholson's article, http://gcxweb.org/Misc/KenNicholson-JimMcCotter.aspx.) What I'm saying is, please investigate McCotter and his teachings thoroughly before you decide to take his advice on childrearing. Please.

*For those who are new to the forum, GCx or GC refers to the Great Commission Association of Churches and/or Great Commission Ministries, which grew out of McCotter's "Blitz" religious movement in the 70s.

[Huldah]

As of this writing, there has been no Child Discipline Part 2 posted. McCotter appears to have stopped posting at all for the time being.

I've watched a few videos from young "ex-fundies" who are "deconstructing" their religious upbringing. It appears that harsh parenting, including abusive physical discipline, has been a major factor in causing young adults to abandon Christianity. This is profoundly sad. Christian parents who genuinely wanted to obey God were badly misled, and false Christians who only used the Bible as a cover for abuse were given free rein. Either way, the children lost out. I pray often for their generation, that God would reveal Himself to them as the loving God He truly is.

Luke 17:1,2, "Then (Jesus) said unto the disciples, 'It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.'"