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Author Topic: Taking stock, I have a happy life  (Read 8211 times)
Differentstrokes
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« on: July 20, 2018, 05:27:40 pm »

Hopefully this doesn't get buried under all the other stuff going on. I've been thinking about my life lately, and how far I've come in the last few years. I'm happily married, I'm back in school studying some really awesome things, my mental health is the best it's ever been...  I'm really happy. A few years ago I felt like I was just going through the motions, wondering if I could be happy. Anyway. Thanks for all the encouraging posts over the years, it really helped me find my way
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araignee19
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« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2018, 07:50:35 pm »

I would say very similar things about my life right now. Things are good. Even my relationship with God, which was so damaged for a while, is doing better. I’m so glad I left GCx, and I’m glad I found this forum.
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GodisFaithful
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« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2018, 08:06:27 pm »

That is so good to hear, Different Strokes.

I would say the same. No just happy, but joy filled, even when trials come and go.

Lately, with all the craziness on the forum, I can really reflect on the wonderful ways that God has changed me, changed my life, for the better.

For those of us who were in a GC church (me for 18 years) and floundered, it's good to reflect on how God does not let go of us. He is gentle, and kind, and merciful, and loving. He is a loving Shepherd who gently leads us back to the right path when we stray. He does not beat us into a mooshed pancake.

I am thankful for the forum and for cyber friendships that have formed with people who have gone through a similar experience and can relate.
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Differentstrokes
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« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2018, 10:13:31 pm »

Aw thanks for sharing you guys!! I would love to hear some good things going on in people's lives now, or just in general since leaving the church.

I am slowly coming around to maybe dabbling in Christianity a little more. Since leaving the church I sort of wanted nothing to do with religion, but Ive also been feeling like I'm missing something because of it.

I spent 24 years in a GC church, my whole life revolves around it, so it's like... Without a church I just feel lost lol. Anyway...
It would be great to hear how everyone else is doing!
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Cult Proof
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« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2018, 07:07:34 am »

I LOVE this post!  Thanks for starting it!  You might appreciate Remy’s book Broken Trust. He shares his own story of abuse and left the organized church for five years. Now he is a pastor of a beautifully loving and sensitive church. He started Cedarbrook because he wanted people like us to have a church. Maybe consider listening to his Easter message on “bad Religion”. He wrote it especially for people who have been hurt by church. It’s beautiful. You can google cedarbrook menomonie wi.

I too am so blessed to be out. Leaving has been the absolute best thing that has happened for my marriage and my emotional health. I am finding such restorative healing in my faith and also in my childhood. I am amazed at how loving and kind God is and people!  I had no idea people could be so sincerely kind and loving and respectful of boundaries and where I am in the process of healing!  I am waking up out of the mind control and seeing the truth of how distorted gcc is and how real and close and loving God is. I also was in gcc for 18 years and consider it a miracle of Gods grace that I am out and out of mind control. The mind control piece, in my experience, is the most damaging aspect. My heart breaks for the people I love who are still blind and trapped by it.
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Rebel in a Good Way
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« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2018, 07:17:45 am »

My faith is something that brings me joy and peace now.  I am free to accept and love people without having an agenda for them or trying to be the Holy Spirit in their lives. Learning much about Jesus in the gospels, I see an example of authentic love and that motivates me to follow him.  No fear/anxiety involved (but respect and honor, yes).  At one crisis point in my life, I realized that Jesus had simply brought me in to his arms without the prerequisite of confession, groveling, self-flagellation, trying to do better first, etc. Despite the bad place I was in (totally deceived) he gladly and lovingly showed me that it has always been his love for me regardless of my performance.  As a note, I do realize this is the salvation/conversion message preached at GCC, but after being saved we were taught over and over all that we needed to do better, it wasn't the lived message of the gospel. So in my complete surrender that finally became real.  And it has humbled me in a way that has made me more compassionate--which might not look that way regarding unrepentant abusive church leaders, but even that requires compassion and if they ever arrived at a state of humility and surrender my actions toward them would look much different.

Going to seminary has really helped a lot--to see that what we "know" is quite small compared to what everyone thinks they know about God, which takes the pressure off of having to believe the right things about everything all the time. Of course this does not mean we neglect our best pursuit of truth, only that there is freedom in honest pursuit.  Incorporating concepts from the history of our faith and learning how other cultures understand Christianity has been so enriching.  Stanley Grenz (theologian) wrote about "openness to the world," which makes humans different from other creatures. We were created to want to explore, understand, interact with, influence, and be a part of the world around us.  This has been an exciting concept rather than to operate in fear of the world because "satan's gonna get ya."

I have landed in a church where as a woman I can be who God created me to be.  My marriage is solid, but we are still working on some parenting issues.  After rejecting the "obey immediately, cheerfully, and completely" and excessive spanking approach modeled at my GCC church, it has been a struggle to parent my strong-willed child in a way that keeps the adults in charge of the household, lol! But we are seeking support for that, from a resource that makes sense and not only from pastors.  And our children are doing well in general, they are happy and love God in a way that is sweet and innocent, although we are allowing them to explore their faith on their own.  

So this is not to say that life is peachy all the time.  But, I would say I experience mostly freedom and peace and way less fear-based guilt and anxiety.  Obviously I still try in life to live in an upright manner, but my idea of sin is different (failing to love God and love others without a million little rules in there).  And it's motivated by the admiration I have for Jesus rather than fear of...whatever.  Much different.  And lovely.  I'm glad to hear how others are doing!
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Linda
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« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2018, 07:35:12 am »

I love this thread, too, and am so happy to read it.

I ditto much that was said and would add that I feel like I got "joy" back in my life.

Plus, I have met a lot of great cyber friends that have turned into real friends.
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Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.
Differentstrokes
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« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2018, 12:01:24 pm »

Thanks for sharing everyone! Keep it up
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Differentstrokes
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« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2018, 11:28:00 am »

Y'all! Today is my last day of summer semester! That means in oneyear I will graduate with my new degree! AND, this week I made my first real friend since leaving GCM! It's been a good year :-D
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DarthVader
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« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2018, 11:37:59 am »

Congrats on the friend and the school progress!
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araignee19
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« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2018, 11:56:28 am »

Yay for getting closer to graduating! That’s the best part of school  Wink

I wanted to elaborate on my post from before, because God has been very good to me, and life outside GCx has been good. I wanted to give thanks and share some good things (and let anyone wondering if they should leave know it is not all bad separating from the GCx church movement - although I won’t pretend that was easy).

I would start by saying my walk with God is ongoing and better than it has been for years, probably better than any other time on my life. It is more real and has a much more solid foundation. I truly trust in God and his grace, not my own works, efforts, and faith. We are active in a great church where I learn a lot and am challenged every time I go. I was recently married to a wonderful Christian man (after nearly 5 years of wonderfully slow paced and God honoring dating - gasp! Yes that’s possible). The career front is going great (basically blessed with my dream job), and I recently graduated with a Master's degree in the field I love and am employed in. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically I'm in a very good place, and I am incredibly greatful for that. I don’t honestly feel like I can take credit for any of it (and unlike when I was at GCx I genuinely mean that). Also, despite many less than happy and stressful events I've recently experienced, I am content and joyful through those times. My faith is solid enough that the struggles and doubts of life don’t send it into tourmoil like they used to. So thanks to God for this. I really am grateful.
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Differentstrokes
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« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2018, 06:10:49 am »

Ar, congratulations! On marriage and graduation and everything else Smiley
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araignee19
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« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2018, 07:29:29 am »

God is good, isn’t he? I was so afraid to leave because I thought I had the power to ruin God’s good plans. I’m glad I’m not that strong.
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Ghost
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« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2018, 02:13:53 pm »

As for me...i never left who i was..always the same..hard working diligent..cling to the word of god..goodness..kindness..giving of myself always and still make cookies and brownies..just to share with people..and when people would say Have a Beary Nice Day..Barry Day...that meant a lot to me..that's a
like a sign of appreciation...I kind of went overboard..work wise after my 10 th. knee operation could no longer run..so i become a workaholic..as a school maintenance man and a self employed cleaning contractor..with 7 accounts daily...20 hour days and 8 hours every saturday and sunday for the next twenty years ..over 115 hours working each week..this helped fund my yearly mission trips to the Philippines where i was also a lay minister in the catholic church there...people always told me i would crash and burn..i would say no..i am like the energizer bunny..invincible..then at age 49..just working 22 hours  in a stormy Minnesota winter day..jan. 6 th. 2009..i showered and ready to sleep a couple hours..and i walked into the living room my brain exploded and and heart stopped..blood everywhere..nose..mouth..ears..i called 911..then like in slow motion...fell to the floor...like a dream...i had a brain aneurism burst and heart attack and stroke all at the same time..operations to repair all..heart..brain  two stents in heart..woke up 3 days later..could not walk or talk..paralyzed on left side of body..speech apraxia..could not form words..1/8 brain whited out..nerve damage on left side of body..so much damage..they said i was still young and in great physical shape i can come back from this..then 2 weeks later another heart attack..brain tumor..stroke..coma's..seizures...complete renal failure...2 years of intense physical..occupational and speech therapy and more surgeries to follow..20 all together..but i came back..walkng..talking and by the grace of god..survived...i was asked by the social workers and therapist..how i came back..i said by believing gods word and believing in his goodness..kindness  and clinging to the cross....i said i only seek to have humility and grace in the eyes of God..i fear not death..bags packed at a moments notice...so my Evergreen experience..i had overcome that because i refused to let it change me and who i was...because God is greater and Jesus Christ my Savior in Heaven...to God be the Glory.....people still call me by my childhood nickname.... The Bear
« Last Edit: July 26, 2018, 04:06:42 pm by Ghost » Logged
Linda
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« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2018, 02:43:07 pm »

Oh my goodness. Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you.
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Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.
AgathaL'Orange
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« Reply #15 on: July 28, 2018, 09:17:38 am »

Oh my gosh, I love this thread! 

Life isn't perfect at all, but I'm still here, and we haven't given up yet! 

I have my faith and my family.  That's not too bad
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Glad to be free.
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