The worst of the worst: Serious Error

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Huldah]

not sure what number we're on, but this one
ISOLATION- I see a big insecurity from this cult to not allow outside influences.    I'll leave it at that

Coming back to this topic because this is such an important point. Abusers love to isolate their targets. This holds true regardless of the type of abuse: spiritual, domestic, workplace, or even government overreach. They can only exert full control over you if they isolate you from other sources of support (friends, spouse, family, and whoever else makes up your most important social circle) or from other sources of information.

If you're being encouraged to isolate from people who love you, people with an opposing viewpoint, or even from innocent activities you've always enjoyed, then rest assured, this isn't about helping you become more godly or protecting you in some way. It's about controlling you.

[WoodBern82]

Time commitment... that to me was the worst of all.  I did not get sucked into it but I saw too many small group leaders who were giving up too much personal time and running to all these meetings for small group or leaders meetings.  I was very protective of my time at Evergreen.  I use to notice how  people would run around and name drop all the time... I met with Brent or I met with Mark (Darling) and it was often young christians who would put them on a pedestal.  I was too wise to fall for that.  I would kid some of them about having badges with leaders names on them like they were some kind of boy scout badge you had to earn so you were esteemed by the Pastors.  It was the approval of Jesus that most mattered to me and I worked hard to keep that perspective.  Many singles gave up huge amounts of their time just because it was assumed as singles that they could.  I once went to a meeting about the planting of a new Evegreen location and Mark Darling gave one of his come and die for the cause speech and that was enough to convince me NOT to be a part of it.  Glad I avoided that.

[Janet Easson Martin]

It was the approval of Jesus that most mattered to me and I worked hard to keep that perspective.
-WoodBern82



WoodBern82, I wish had that resolve when I was as there. Sounds like your confident relationship with Jesus kept you from confusing Him with GCx’s “stolen” authority. Is there anything else you attribute to your not being falsely persuaded by them?

[WoodBern82]

I also had enough wise friends from other churches that I could bounce things off of.  If I encountered any suggestions that I had to only go with the counsel of Evergreen pastors or leaders I knew better. Plus I was already aware of the church of the Open Door and the leader from their who authored a book on Spiritual Abuse.  One of the churches I attended in the 1990s went through an episode where the lead pastor was accused of spiritual abuse so I basically had enough experience understanding its potential.  The subtle thing about Evergreen was that they always talked about unity and plurality of leadership and so that had me thinking it was likely a safe place.  I did not know what was actually happenig.

[Janet Easson Martin]

WoodBern82, good move to bounce off strange things you saw in GCx with wise friends who went to churches outside. You kept yourself from being isolated (as Huldah pointed out above.) Trusting your gut about their “inside only” counsel seemed to also keep you grounded in Jesus. I’ve heard discerning Christians talk about not ignoring your gut because it can experience something deeper than your intellect can perceive when deceptive assurances are repeatedly heard. That knowledge and experience of spiritual abuse perhaps helped you understand that it certainly happens. It was already on your radar.

That last awareness may be the most crucial of all —understanding the sad reality of spiritual abusive groups/churches and what their characteristics look like.

Thank you for sharing some of your story with us here. Each person sharing helps to illustrates the larger picture.