A Questioning Memeber...

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A Questioning Memeber...

« on: November 03, 2018, 06:39:05 am »

I am a current member of a GCM church.
I have grown up as part of the 2nd generation of this movement, as the child of a 1st generation "world changer."
My church family has been all I've known and all I've ever truly aspired to be a part of...

But as I have grown older and worked at a few jobs that have given me less time to be a part of the movement, I am seeing some things that are concerning...
3 years ago, I don't think I ever would've even thought to wander into these forums.
I was that person who defended my church family no matter what and would try to bring back those who had "fallen away."
But after the 2016 elections...after not going to church for almost a year due to a job that forced me to work weekends...I am seeing things that I didn't see before...

I still see my church family...people that I love and I know love me...I see them trying to live out The Great Commission in a way that I believe truly follows the heart of God...I am seeing many question things they used to stand for...and making our individual church more focused on Christ instead of blind unity...

...But there are many more things I am concerned with:

- Our college ministry has grown significantly in the last 10 years. Many people who are actively apart of this group are so "on fire for God" that when they graduate, they struggle with wanting to leave and feel like they are missing out on something special if they are not actively apart of the group. The group leaders are attempting to make active steps to make sure alumni understand that this isn't a "hang out" and that, while they are welcome to visit every now and then, they need to be involved as a leader or volunteer to participate. The problem with this aspect is that it doesn't address the issues that the ministry doesn't realize it brings up. The leaders in this group are so passionate about their mission and their calling, others feel like if they are not doing some kind of ministry after this that they are failing as a Christian...that's definitely how I have felt after I graduated...

- Politically, my church is made up of mostly moderate conservatives and right-leaning independents. That being said, our leaders often speak jargon that is often familiar to Conservative Christians that may be considered offensive to those who are not conservatives. Anyone who considers themselves liberal usually says nothing. The good news is, we rarely talk about politics. The bad news is, we rarely talk about the things that are going on in the world. The mass shootings, the rise of white supremacy, and even local issues. When I have asked our leaders about this, they often say, "If we were to take a moment to discuss these things every time they happen, that's all we'd ever do, since they happen every week." Whenever an issue is raised like this, unity is often the first thing that is talked about. The problem is that it is unity of thought and not of the body. For many of the leaders, unity of the church means questioning politicians or a political party are off limits because it is not the focus of our mission and may cause more harm than good through division. And I get where they are coming from. I really do...I just wish we could do better at addressing the issue more directly and from a biblical standpoint, instead of insisting on unity every time a valid point is raised.

-Within a 1 mile radius of our church, there are 8-10 other churches. We only have a (passive) relationship with 1 of them. We are a predominantly white congregation in a mostly minority neighborhood. When our church started, most of our members came from the surrounding church neighborhood. But as nearby schools became "worse," members moved out into the country for "better" schools. Only a handful of families live in the church members live in the church neighborhood, while everyone else lives within a 30 minute radius.

- Those who are not actively involved with the church who go regularly often feel left out or feel like they are missing out on something. While the majority of the church is involved in at least one ministry (if not more), those who can't participate outside of Sunday service due to their current work shift or other issues often feel out of the loop or forgotten. Those who struggle socially or have mental illnesses, while accepted, often feel like they are told to be more involved. For members that experience anxiety and depression that lasts more than a season, they often struggle with feeling like they are not spiritual enough and often fall deeper into that depression.

- Dating culture here is a tough one. While many young adults in our church have gotten married or are starting relationships with other members, there is still a very "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" expectation with them. The expectation when two members date or court is that they will be together for the long run. This leads to an added pressure that few can handle. Members often get married within a year of their relationship starting, leaving a pressure on those whose relationship is longer due to life situations (school, job, etc). Speaking of work, when young men want to get married, they often ask their pastor for advice before jumping in. The pastor's often say wait (usually for good reason), but when asked for "the next step" usually tell the young men that they need to get a job that can provide for themselves and for a wife (if they don't already have one). This often leads to the more desperate young men trying to get a high paying job as quick as possible, which leads to more stress and more disappointment for many.

- Growing up, I had very implicit thoughts about my identity in the church that I don't remember being preached, but somehow I experienced them. I thought we were better than other churches and other ministries, often seeing the whole thing as a competition. I often grew frustrated with other members who weren't as "committed" as my family or myself; I believed they were complacent and lost in their faith. I saw anyone who questioned my faith, my church, or my family as a personal attack. I thought that I would experience persecution for being a Christian when I went to college...boy, was i confused when that didn't happen and that when it did happen I was often defended by classmates and/or professors who weren't Christians...

There are also good things that I believe are church is getting better at:
- Members are encouraged to lead groups, classes, and clubs that are meant to benefit the church and the community (economics class, knitting club, etc)
- The church building is used by the neighborhood to host events and groups outside of our church (Neighborhood safety meetings, Scouts Club, etc)
- The older members are the most friendly and are in constant contact with each other. They also are the most friendly to newcomers and encourage the younger, more timid Christians to reach out to them.
- In times of crisis, members do reach out to each other and go out of their way to meet each other's needs.
- Members are encouraged to seek professional counselling, therapy, or emergency medical help as a appropriate to the need.
- While the church family is mostly white, there is a diversity of different personalities that are often encouraged to compliment each other instead of compete against each other.
- We are connected with other nearby GCX churches, many of whom are doing a better job at reaching out to the church's near them and thus, I believe, to be a good influence on us in that regard.

So...is GCX a cult?
I'm still on the fence about this...but, there is one thing I do know...there are some concerning things I've experienced as a life long member that I believe need to be addressed if this movement doesn't want to become another casualty of American Christianity.

I love these people and I don't want to see that happen...but I am afraid that it already has happened.


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Janet Easson Martin

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