I joined a cult

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Ghost]

The lights shut off completely. A man started talking over the sound system. Sound effects and music were piped in, building in intensity. BAM! POW! WHOOSH! Fireworks exploded on the stage, and the Christian rock band started playing music ........ We were all taken in.

Over the course of the weekend, we were preached to, experienced several more perfectly timed explosions, danced to Christian rock sets, and eventually asked to give our lives to Jesus and to serve ........ Then we were asked to give  our lives to God’s service and do a summer internship ..Leadership Training  LT

Why?   ....................

Because I joined a cult.  ....
 

Like most cult members, I didn't mean to join. I didn’t know that’s what it was. I joined a cult..............................

Over the years, I’ve seen people join all manner of cults. Cults are not singularly religious in nature; they can be more subtle and aren’t always inherently harmful. Cults can look like self-help movements, secret organizations, MLM companies, small groups driven by one main personality, fringe political movements, or fantasy-centered fun that has just gone too far.

But I was really in a culty-cult. And maybe you are, too, or think you might be. If so, here’s how to get out.
1. Determine If You Are In A Cult.
Ask your family if they think what you’re participating in is cool. If you don’t have that relationship with your family, ask other people you love and respect who are NOT part of the group: “Hi,  This might be a weird question, but do you think this group that I’m part of resembles a cult at all?” Hopefully, your freind is straight with you and gives you her honest assessment. Also, if you have the need to ask, chances are you are pretty far down the cult rabbit hole.
2. Believe Yourself.
Yeah, that still, small voice in your head telling you this isn’t right? That you can’t overlook the inconsistencies or total lack of objectivity within the group or its leaders? LISTEN TO Them....they are smart and trying to tell you something. Pay attention. Trust your inner voice to get you out of there.  

3. Disentangle Your Finances and Resources.
Maybe you signed up to give money every month from your checking account. Maybe your job is tied into the cult. Maybe you feel like you are in too deep and have no power to leave. Start by retracting your finances and other resources you’ve been sharing for the Greater Good. You don’t owe anyone a single thing.
4. Be Willing To Lose Friends Or Public Standing.
This is a hard one. You see, cults are mostly full of really good, earnest, loving people who are deeply loyal and will probably not follow you out of the movement.
You might lose people you love. You might be lonely while you regroup and figure things out. You and your reputation will recover.

5. Forgive Yourself.
You were likely pulled in by the goodness of your heart, shared interests, similar history, wanting a place in the community, etc. You were also subject to time-tested manipulation techniques and psychological ploys. It doesn’t make you stupid; it makes them awful. You didn’t know. You know now. Forgive yourself.

6. Do Some Therapy.
You will need to deconstruct the process that got you into the cult in the first place. You will need professional help. It’s worth it. You will be able to one day thank the past version of you who embarked on a path to learn how to make better choices for future you. Spoiler alert: We all need to feel loved and included, and you’re not wrong for needing to feel that, too. ...I joined a cult   ....don't let the Mark Darlings and Brent Knoxes of the  world have power over you....Deceivers..False Prophets..Charltons..False Leaders...Frauds..Deceivers..Snake Oil Salesman....................Cult Leaders

[FeministRebel]

You are so right. I was in a cult. A terrible cult. They took so much from my life.

[margaret]

My still, small voice kept thinking something was 'off' for years.  My spouse kept telling me I was over-reacting.  Now, decades later, my spouse agrees and has completely apologized for having us stay in for so damn long.

[FeministRebel]

In reality, I should've left immediately, the minute they started claiming to me that the world was 6000 years old and that humans lived among dinosaurs. I have always enjoyed a strong education in science and math, and I repressed my knowledge of basic scientific facts just to belong, and try to be a 'true Christian.' I don't want to ever belong to ANY organization that denies science and reality in order to preserve whatever warped view of the scriptures they have.

Also.. one of the very first services I attended was when one of the pastor's children was a newborn. He had been born with a lot of chromosomal issues and deformities and needed many, many surgeries to current this issue, as well as operations to keep him alive, to keep him breathing and eating. One of the women who would give me rides to church, and who was considered this major 'leader' among women, turned and told me.. that she thought this was the ugliest baby she had ever seen. I was too shocked for words.

This was such an abusive church... I should've put my foot down and never gone back.

[EscapeFromGCM2013]

Forgiving oneself seems like the hardest part. The thing that haunts me the most is how much I blindly led others in and into the GCM cult. I truly thought I was doing what God called me to do at that time, in those moments, but in the years since leaving have I only been able to see that I was regurgitating what they told me because the leadership was SO overpowering, it was hard to distinguish between the cult and God. And thus, the guilt of leading others astray in and into the cult breaks my heart.

[Huldah]

Hello, EscapeFromGCM2013. Welcome to the forum, although I'm sorry you have to be here.

Your post really touched my heart. In many ways, the struggle with guilt for what we did to others is harder to bear than the trauma that others did to us.

Are you still in contact with any of the people you recruited? Are any of them still in GCx?

[BS Truth]

Sad to say...he never disappeared into the wood work.....MD.....the past has a way of haunting you.........the leaves fall...the snow covers...but the trail still visible....why?.....some walk in the ruins of destruction..havoc....walking on protuding crumpled leaves of the past.....at least when there is snow...it brightens things...hides the grayness....the darkness...creeping into the setting sun of the day....

[Janet Easson Martin]

To EscapeFromGCM2013-

Thank you for posting and for your refreshing & heartfelt honesty. It seems that is something only God can lift from us by giving that burden to him & leaving it there; trusting he will lead us and those we wrongly influenced to the true image of God’s Grace & Truth.

Soon after realizing that many teachings & practices were so wrong, and leaving; I also felt terrible about the way I, myself, “used” people and made them feel less than worthy with the GCx modeled recruitment process of fake friendships, and discipling method of hovering & undeserved reproof. I know I hurt & confused others. I talked to God about it and asked him to run me into any who needed my in-person apology. There were a few people I got to do just that with. Others I didn’t know where to contact. When I came on here to post I publicly asked forgiveness of anyone I hurt.

Like you, others have been honest & have done the same and I believe it has been somewhat healing. First to acknowledge we were wrong to try to persuade precious creatures of God into something that was not his intended will for them. Second, that GCx was spiritually abusive with a founding False Teacher. And, third, that we truly hope and pray for their healing and well-being.

Quote by EscapeFromGCM2013

I truly thought I was doing what God called me to do at that time, in those moments, but in the years since leaving have I only been able to see that I was regurgitating what they told me because the leadership was SO overpowering, it was hard to distinguish between the cult and God.

“Leaders and followers in such a system become focused on serving the system rather than serving God. But the system is not the Savior. It’s an easy deception to fall into, but it leads to hiding, ignoring, or denying malignant toxins that then go untreated.”    - Dr. Diane Langberg