Hi, C19IN. Your question was addressed to Margaret, but I hope it's okay if I also offer an opinion.
It can be helpful to share your struggles, but not necessarily with just anyone.
It's fine if you take your time, getting to know people before you open up about personal things. It's fine if you only share a little at a time, while you evaluate whether your confidants are trustworthy and respectful. Also, some people just won't ever feel comfortable sharing in small groups or Bible study settings. If you're one of those people, then save the personal stuff for when you're with one or two proven friends. Besides, you can always share more later on if you want to, but you can't take back what you've already shared.
If you have reason to consider seeing a counselor at your church, keep in mind that lay counselors may not have the same privacy restrictions that certified professional counselors have. You're always free to ask whether your information will be shared with the pastors or anyone else, for purposes of prayer or for any other reason. If you ever feel pressured or put on the spot to share immediately, it's okay to stall with something like, "I'd have to give that some thought," or even a blunt, "That's just not something I'm comfortable talking about right now." A person who truly has your welfare in mind won't make you feel trapped.
The Gender Roles forum is here:
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/gender-roles-marriage-dating-and-courtship/. It has some fascinating reading.