Trying to escape

Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

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[Mercy]

Hey. I just found this place, and it’s been really helpful so far, so I figured I should actually post.
I grew up in GCC. It wasn’t until I got to college that I started to realize/ unpack my issues. I’m kind of a psychological mess (anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, likely DID). Because of amnesia and such I’m not exactly sure what hurt me so much, but I’m realizing this might’ve been a big part of it.
Not sure if this is the place to ask this… I’m currently attending a church that used to be GCC. To my knowledge we are currently Southern Baptist, and I haven’t noticed any red flags, but I don’t trust my own judgement and don’t want to stay in a system that could be hurting me. (The church is Sower in Lincoln, used to be Candlewood- if anyone has guidance I’d be thankful. )
This is scary, but I guess it’s worth it to get safe and truly follow God.

[Janet Easson Martin]

Welcome, Mercy. Oh, God bless you.

May the LORD bless you and take care of you;
May the LORD be kind and gracious to you;
May the LORD look on you with favor and give you peace.

(Numbers 6:22)

So glad this site has been really helpful to you! It has not been uncommon for members and former members to feel a psychological mess from their isolation and oppression in this unhealthy group. Likely they were in the category of being obediently and sacrificially loyal to GCx. Those on the fringes don’t seem to be as deeply affected. You are in good company here. It has taken many of us years to cast off the layers of false shame, condemnation, and guilt; and to rise up and dress ourselves in the righteousness and grace that is truly ours in Christ. So, be lovingly patient with yourself. We were wounded and require healing.

I, myself, required counseling from healthy sound professional Christian Counselors for quite some time. I actually had a breakdown a few months after leaving GCx. My mind couldn’t bear the weight of old GCx condemnations anymore. Leaving was the beginning of healing for me, but I didn’t realize how much they had broken my confidence and trust in my own decisions. Inside, I was continually waffling because of lies about “commitment” and others things I was deluged with there. It was hard to remain strong in the rightness of leaving. So, I became a mess.

But, the journey of my healing is precious to me. It’s a big part of my growing closer to God, and learning to listen to him more than men. It’s been quite hard at times, but what remarkable and miraculous things I have seen God work on my behalf and through me. I’m far from perfect, but I am able to BELIEVE God is looking out for my very best welfare, and often to experience his precious comfort.

I am SO grateful God inspired former members to start and maintain this GCMForumWarning Site. IT’s where God has opened a door that never closes so people can speak freely about their own experience including struggles even years later, as a result of the teaching and practices of GCx.

Generally, the initial relief and comfort of learning that there likely isn’t something wrong with us, but something quite wrong with the culture we were strongly persuaded was “closer to Christianity” than most other church groups outside it. In fact, I think it is fair to conclude (based on evidence here) it was further from true Christianity than many Believing Churches. The main culprit was the founder, (Jim) James D. McCotter. But too many leaders have lost connection with our real head, Jesus, in trying to please and impress McCotter and those he “appointed”.

Although they publicly tell others they have “changed” or “repented,” they still teach many of the same empty messages and demonstrate many of the same authoritarian attitudes toward “their flock”; and they continue to dismiss and deny the depth of their wounding. I did notice that there are some leaders who have been heavily under the influence of such leaders at the Candlewood Church, renamed “Sower Church.” Perhaps some leadership was taught and discipled among Southern Baptist culture. Not researched how easy it to become “Southern Baptist.”

If you type “Candlewood” or “Omaha” or “Nebraska” into the search window on the Forum Tab Page, you will find a good number of people’s stories highlighted there. Here are just some of those thread topics:


Leaving Candlewood
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/hellos-and-testimonies/leaving-candlewood/

Anyone from Omaha
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/hellos-and-testimonies/anyone-from-omaha/msg14101/#msg14101

My Story (Hope)
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/hellos-and-testimonies/my-story-1592/msg13934/#msg13934



Whatever you decide to do must be of your own personal volition and not from the pressure of men. Take your dilemma to God and ask him to lead you, show you, give you wisdom from above, and give you peace. I will pray this for you also.

[LostCreature3]

Hey. I just found this place, and it’s been really helpful so far, so I figured I should actually post.
I grew up in GCC. It wasn’t until I got to college that I started to realize/ unpack my issues. I’m kind of a psychological mess (anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, likely DID). Because of amnesia and such I’m not exactly sure what hurt me so much, but I’m realizing this might’ve been a big part of it.
Not sure if this is the place to ask this… I’m currently attending a church that used to be GCC. To my knowledge we are currently Southern Baptist, and I haven’t noticed any red flags, but I don’t trust my own judgement and don’t want to stay in a system that could be hurting me. (The church is Sower in Lincoln, used to be Candlewood- if anyone has guidance I’d be thankful. )
This is scary, but I guess it’s worth it to get safe and truly follow God.

Welcome. I also grew up in GCX, but left a few years ago (shortly after the Jan 6th Insurrection).
It did play a number on me, too and I am still in the midst of being counseled by professional therapists.
That being said, being at another church not associated with GCX has helped my mental and spiritual health tremendously.
Would highly recommend speaking to a therapist (if you aren't already) who can recognize spiritual abuse.

As you are probably aware, after GCX officially disbanded in 2020 they split into 3 different groups.
A few of them, like your current church, joined the SBC.
My former church became a major player in the C1 Network, which is basically GCX 2.0.

The SBC has there own issues that you should be very concerned about (network wide sexual abuse cover up, etc).
I am not sure if those here have experienced the issues that comes with being apart of the SBC.
That being said, it is possible that even though your current church left GCX,
there may still be some leftover structures from GCX that remain and may still lead to a not-so-great environment.

As one who struggled with my own mental health issues when I was looking into GCX's history and issues,
one thing that helped was talking with former members and other Christians outside the organization to get their perspective.

Is there anyone in your life that you trust to have a open and honest perspective on whatever is going on in your current church?

[Janet Easson Martin]

...being at another church not associated with GCX has helped my mental and spiritual health tremendously.
Would highly recommend speaking to a therapist (if you aren't already) who can recognize spiritual abuse.

... even though your current church left GCX, there may still be some leftover structures from GCX that remain and may still lead to a not-so-great environment.

... one thing that helped was talking with former members and other Christians outside the organization to get their perspective.

Is there anyone in your life that you trust to have a open and honest perspective on whatever is going on in your current church?

Very much agree.

[Janet Easson Martin]

Mercy, you can also find some articles or books that have helped others on here at this link:
http://forum.gcmwarning.com/recommended-reading-and-links/
Some are also in threads on the Healing Forum.

Here is a topic thread someone started on Helpful Books:  http://forum.gcmwarning.com/the-healing-forum/the-book-list/


Your situation might seem overwhelming, but as you pour out your heart to God, he will surprise you with how compassionate and faithful he is. He is ready and VERY willing to care for your needs. This hardship is not permanent and can bring you so close to God, you’re almost happy it happened.

[Huldah]

Welcome to the forum, Mercy.

I personally couldn't go to a church that was formerly part of GC. However, I don't know you and I don't know the church in question, so I can only offer some general thoughts about choosing a church.

First, in my opinion, it's important to choose a church that's sound on the essential doctrines of the faith (the substitutionary death of Christ, His deity and physical resurrection; the Trinity; salvation through faith; the inerrancy of the Scriptures in their original languages; and so on). Beyond that, however, I would suggest listening to your gut. Does anything seem off? Do several things seem off?  All churches are imperfect, but not all of them are toxic. If, over time, you find yourself spending a lot of mental effort convincing yourself to ignore various red flags, then you're probably dealing with a toxic situation and it's probably time to move on. A healthy church shouldn't set off one alarm bell after another in your spirit.

I'm sorry you're struggling with depression and anxiety. That's not an uncommon experience for people leaving GC or other high-control groups. Anxiety also makes it harder to listen to your gut, especially if you've been taught that you're too desperately wicked to trust your own judgment (a teaching which is also not uncommon in high-control churches). But those who are born again have the Holy Spirit leading us and guiding us. Sometimes His leading is slow and subtle, but He's always there and and His love for you will not abandon you. He is more than capable of leading you to a healthy church, even if the timing seems slow and there are several false starts to weed out.

So, if you decide to look for a new church, be patient with yourself. There's no deadline to meet. The process takes time. There's ultimately only one Church anyway--the universal body of Christ--to which you automatically belong if you're a believer. That means you can safely ignore anyone who accuses you of "divorcing your church" or "abandoning God's best" just because you decide to worship elsewhere.

If the depression and anxiety become overwhelming, please don't be afraid to seek counseling or to see your doctor. There are therapies that can be tremendously helpful in many cases, and some of us here have benefited personally from those therapies.

[margaret]

Hi Mercy,

Welcome.  I can relate to the depression and anxiety; you're not alone.

From this forum, I've seen the response (to having left GCx churches) in a range from quickly joining another church, to going full-atheist.  For me personally, I will echo Huldah's advice to "be patient with yourself."  For the first time, I showed myself mercy as I negotiated the path post-GCx, and allowed myself to feel whatever it was that I felt, and didn't pressure myself to DO anything I wasn't ready for.

I also echo Huldah's comments to trust the Holy Spirit in you. My former GCx group seemed to discount the role of the Holy Spirit in the believer, and usurp that role in directing the believers to do/say/be how the leaders wanted.

I'm still recovering. And questioning everything. And it's been years. Bless you.