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Author Topic: Report will be posted Sunday  (Read 53256 times)
OneOfMany
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« Reply #40 on: June 30, 2018, 10:39:23 am »

Wow the wickedness coming out of some of you Evergreen Supporters. Shame on you.

The culture of Evergreen is to attack and to silence. And even now it spews forth from some of your mouths.

The most disturbing part of this is that this kind of behavior comes straight from the top. It is preached to the people. And justified by taking scripture out of context.
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Barb
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« Reply #41 on: June 30, 2018, 11:13:14 am »

In my opinion, the victims should have been contacted as soon as a decision was reached. They should have known what was happening even before the anything was announced in a church service.



I completely agree! Especially, if it was found that the allegations were true - which according to Phoenix at least some of them are.
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GodisFaithful
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« Reply #42 on: June 30, 2018, 11:13:36 am »

It's time for EC to ask, "How should we treat people who were a part of our church who were seriously mistreated? Do we treat them with utmost respect? Do we treat them well, the way we would treat our current membership? What can we do to make this right?" So far, by not even contacting them ahead of time, it sends a message (that they may not have intended) that they almost don't exist.

They really have some things to learn about how they treat people who have left. I hope they learn. I really, really hope they are open to learning to treat people better who leave or have been mistreated. They can start now.
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Badger
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« Reply #43 on: June 30, 2018, 11:41:38 am »

In my opinion, the victims should have been contacted as soon as a decision was reached. They should have known what was happening even before the anything was announced in a church service.



I agree Huldah. 

I am sorry that Evergreen continues to behave in this way Scout.  It isn't fair and it doesn't help you and the other victims of Mark Darling and Evergreen continue to heal.

Evergreen's present actions show a focus on their current members and victims second.  Their response should be victims first.  Go first to your brother and sister who you have sinned against.

Unfortunately, this doesn't surprise me.  It is the same position that Evergreen has held from the beginning.

The shame of the church not caring for the victims of their leaders abuse should be also be passed onto John Hopler and the national board as well.  GCCweb.com makes a commitment "to address concerns with confidentiality, impartiality and sensitivity, with the goal of restoration and reconciliation."  They are aware of the continuing investigation.  I don't find their past/current actions to be sensitive or healing/restorative to the victims at Evergreen Church.

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Badger
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« Reply #44 on: June 30, 2018, 11:57:23 am »

It's time for EC to ask, "How should we treat people who were a part of our church who were seriously mistreated? Do we treat them with utmost respect? Do we treat them well, the way we would treat our current membership? What can we do to make this right?" So far, by not even contacting them ahead of time, it sends a message (that they may not have intended) that they almost don't exist.

They really have some things to learn about how they treat people who have left. I hope they learn. I really, really hope they are open to learning to treat people better who leave or have been mistreated. They can start now.

I agree.  I often picture abusive churches as being boats with mangled bloody people floating in their wake that they have run over.  What they do when their past abuse is brought to light is very telling.  Do they turn around and try to save and heal as many of their victims as possible.  Or, do they keep driving forward, leaving all the people they have harmed and abused while focusing only on the people left in their boat.

It's hard being one still in the boat who urges the church to turn around and care for its victims.  For such individuals there are only two ethical options: 1. stay and help the church turn around and focus on the victims first, or 2. leave the boat and try to help victims.

It is also important to make sure that the boat removes the drivers that ran over people (and leaders that continued to let them drive that way) while adopting rules, regulations, and accountability to ensure the boat and its drivers don't continue their practice of carnage in the future.
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Heidi
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« Reply #45 on: June 30, 2018, 12:11:14 pm »

To the Victims-

I am grieved that the conclusion to this investigation is being handled in such a disrespectful way.
The victims have not been contacted, the ROCK church service get canceled!!
 Things are told to the church members, but not the victims.
Another slap in the face.

Suzanne, Natalie, Lois Sullivan (Loey), Victim A, Victim C and all the others.  I am sorry again for the trauma you have gone through.  The confusion, the betrayal, the trashing of your characters and your personal dysfunction being communicated to the church as the real problems.

Yes- you are all troubled, wounded, hurting etc.  So I am.  So are all of us.
It does not excuse abuse in the church , by Mark Darling and the other pastors who did not have the courage to reprove and help the abuser.

Your woundedness, does not excuse a married Pastor to be able to hug and press himself against you so closely that you can feel his erection.  It does not excuse the inappropriate behavior of a man, who was placed in a position of power, to abuse that authority.  

There has been spin that the way this all came out was wrong because it came out by  "Social media" in 2018. Social media may not have been the best format and Suzanne may be "hurting", but attempts were made in 1992, 1994, 1995, 2000, 2001.  I am glad Suzanne felt lead to bring it up again, on social media.
It took 26 years for GCM and EVERGREEN to finally be forced to deal with some deep sin, pride, and abuse of power issues, within the GCM movement.
  
In 1995, 23 years ago a non-disclosure was signed by the pastors, to protect Mark Darling. The story was that Mark did not do anything inappropriate, but then if MARK had done nothing that was inappropriate, then what was a non-disclosure signed for?Huh??

From the pulpit, from Spencer and Brent- they stated that " UNJUST " and " UNFAIR " allegations were made against Mark Darling and Evergreen.

What is really 'Unfair" and "Unjust" is how Evergreen has played church, and covered up sin in the church leadership.

True Repentance is needed by the Evergreen leadership, and no more spin.








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« Last Edit: June 30, 2018, 12:15:51 pm by Heidi » Logged
Free now
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« Reply #46 on: June 30, 2018, 12:11:40 pm »

Agree. Please, ECC — call the victims. This is the time to do what’s right!
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OneOfMany
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« Reply #47 on: June 30, 2018, 12:15:02 pm »

So ECC attendees know what’s going on and the victims do not?

As of late last night, I am not aware of any victims that have been contacted by Evergreen Church/BOT.  

Last night several of the victim/survivors and I were in communication and had not been contacted.  

There may be some that EC reached out to as of course,  EC/BOT does not have to go through me.

scout


I find it incomprehensible that the victims would not be contacted first.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2018, 12:38:44 pm by OneOfMany » Logged
Wrestling
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« Reply #48 on: June 30, 2018, 12:16:37 pm »

Very odd that some ECCers know and others do not. Almost like their is a special “inner circle”.
Always the conspiratorialist aren't you Linda. Or maybe it is that Evergreen is making an announcement at each service this weekend and only Bloomington had a Friday service. But I know that doesn't stoke the flames of outrage quite like your story.

Mango, your responses make me sick. It’s so disappointingly aligns with the way myself and friends have been treated by some prominent ECCers. I understand that you are making a point that bitterness will never be satisfied. If you believe that bitterness in the hearts of people on this forum is such a serious issue, then you should have compassion and leave it to God. I just can’t believe the anger and hate that gets thrown right back like this. It wreaks of misunderstanding real pain and makes it so so hard in my fight against bitterness. Please stop and think before you type. Please think about what Jesus would do.
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Rebel in a Good Way
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« Reply #49 on: June 30, 2018, 12:23:24 pm »

There are people who do know how to do this, who could advise ECC on how to be sensitive to victims, the best way to inform people, how to care for the people in the church, where to refer people outside the church, etc.  I honestly don't know who, if anyone, ECC has consulted for advice/counsel but it appears it is not anyone with expertise with abuse.  To let some of the truth trickle out little by little is NOT trauma-informed.  This is NOT victim-centered.  This is not even-sheep centered.  This is sloppy, insensitive, and disrespectful, and that is something I would say to their faces if I knew who they were Huh

The transitional leadership team at our former abusive church said "we've never been in this situation before, we didn't know what we were doing."  My response was "That's understandable, but then ASK SOMEONE WHO DOES."  (this was all face to face conversation, fans of Matthew 18).  There are several resources that ECC could have consulted.  If Jesus went after the one sheep, he certainly wouldn't leave the mangled bodies in the water.  Actually, by handling it this way, ECC is backing the boat back up and running the victims over again for good measure.  Leak a little gas and oil on them before they go.



I agree.  I often picture abusive churches as being boats with mangled bloody people floating in their wake that they have run over.  What they do when their past abuse is brought to light is very telling.  Do they turn around and try to save and heal as many of their victims as possible.  Or, do they keep driving forward, leaving all the people they have harmed and abused while focusing only on the people left in their boat.


It's time for EC to ask, "How should we treat people who were a part of our church who were seriously mistreated? Do we treat them with utmost respect? Do we treat them well, the way we would treat our current membership? What can we do to make this right?" So far, by not even contacting them ahead of time, it sends a message (that they may not have intended) that they almost don't exist.

They really have some things to learn about how they treat people who have left. I hope they learn. I really, really hope they are open to learning to treat people better who leave or have been mistreated. They can start now.
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Badger
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« Reply #50 on: June 30, 2018, 12:38:18 pm »

It makes sense Rebel.  Prideful churches and leadership are those who find themselves in these positions.  So when they finally have to deal with their culture of abuse, they are prideful enough to think they can handle it on their own.
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Linda
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« Reply #51 on: June 30, 2018, 12:41:51 pm »

Quote from: wrestling
Mango, your responses make me sick. It’s so disappointingly aligns with the way myself and friends have been treated by some prominent ECCers.
wrestling, I'm sorry you and some of your friends have been treated poorly by some prominent ECCers. This should not be.
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GodisFaithful
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« Reply #52 on: June 30, 2018, 02:41:05 pm »

So Phoenix says that disciplinary action is being taken. Who is doing the disciplining I wonder?? The BOT?? They don't have that authority, do they? And if they do, how are they possibly qualified to  discipline their authorities, pastors? Or are other pastors deciding the discipline? The congregation has no say at all? It seems that the pastors would go pretty easy on each other, in the flesh anyway.

Perhaps the BOT feels that their responsibility was to do something with the report, period. Maybe they did not think it was part of their job description to worry about the victims.

When the BOT was constructed, never in their wildest dreams would they have thought that they would be a grand jury and judge and all the rest of it.

 
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Phoenix
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« Reply #53 on: June 30, 2018, 03:36:59 pm »

So Phoenix says that disciplinary action is being taken. Who is doing the disciplining I wonder?? The BOT?? They don't have that authority, do they? And if they do, how are they possibly qualified to  discipline their authorities, pastors? Or are other pastors deciding the discipline? The congregation has no say at all? It seems that the pastors would go pretty easy on each other, in the flesh anyway.

Perhaps the BOT feels that their responsibility was to do something with the report, period. Maybe they did not think it was part of their job description to worry about the victims.

When the BOT was constructed, never in their wildest dreams would they have thought that they would be a grand jury and judge and all the rest of it.
 
Discipline was perhaps the wrong word.
From what I know the report being posted is the BoT's response to the report that was delivered by Joan Harris.  This report contains "actions" affecting the leadership.
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OneOfMany
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« Reply #54 on: June 30, 2018, 03:39:46 pm »

Personally I hope it is more than going to sensitivity training.  Roll Eyes
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DarthVader
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« Reply #55 on: June 30, 2018, 03:42:04 pm »

So Phoenix says that disciplinary action is being taken. Who is doing the disciplining I wonder?? The BOT?? They don't have that authority, do they? And if they do, how are they possibly qualified to  discipline their authorities, pastors? Or are other pastors deciding the discipline? The congregation has no say at all? It seems that the pastors would go pretty easy on each other, in the flesh anyway.

Perhaps the BOT feels that their responsibility was to do something with the report, period. Maybe they did not think it was part of their job description to worry about the victims.

When the BOT was constructed, never in their wildest dreams would they have thought that they would be a grand jury and judge and all the rest of it.
 
Discipline was perhaps the wrong word.
From what I know the report being posted is the BoT's response to the report that was delivered by Joan Harris.  This report contains "actions" affecting the leadership.
Phoenix, last night I understood you to say that Joan's report would be released. Is that not correct? Is what is being released the BoT's response to Joan's report in addition to or instead of Joan's report? Were any specific disciplinary actions shared with you?
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Phoenix
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« Reply #56 on: June 30, 2018, 03:47:49 pm »

I don't think we'll ever see that report from Joan.

Sunday will be the BoT response to the report (I believe).
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Phoenix
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« Reply #57 on: June 30, 2018, 03:51:39 pm »

To the Victims-
From the pulpit, from Spencer and Brent- they stated that " UNJUST " and " UNFAIR " allegations were made against Mark Darling and Evergreen.

What is really 'Unfair" and "Unjust" is how Evergreen has played church, and covered up sin in the church leadership.

They will likely point to the allegations of physical sexual abuse if you challenge them on this.  (My guess.)
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DarthVader
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« Reply #58 on: June 30, 2018, 03:54:17 pm »

I don't think we'll ever see that report from Joan.

Sunday will be the BoT response to the report (I believe).

I'd spend real money supporting the victims in a lawsuit to force the public release of it if there was a reasonable chance of success, especially if the "disciplinary actions" fall well short of what they would be at any large corporation with 5+ complaints by women against someone in a position of power for sexual misconduct. This would not have been a 6 month process at my employer or any employer I've worked for, and the outcome would not be in any doubt with a written report confirming multiple incidences of misconduct.

But this is only a pastor we are talking about with way less responsibility for people's lives than a sales person or accountant at my firm.
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OneOfMany
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« Reply #59 on: June 30, 2018, 04:00:47 pm »

To the Victims-
From the pulpit, from Spencer and Brent- they stated that " UNJUST " and " UNFAIR " allegations were made against Mark Darling and Evergreen.

What is really 'Unfair" and "Unjust" is how Evergreen has played church, and covered up sin in the church leadership.

They will likely point to the allegations of physical sexual abuse if you challenge them on this.  (My guess.)

Posted where? And why are you being so vague? I am confused by that. Either say nothing or fully share what you know. I am not comfortable with this tease. 
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