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Author Topic: Pastor Mark Darling-Pastor who abused me  (Read 153675 times)
margaret
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« Reply #140 on: February 14, 2018, 04:36:37 pm »

Hi Margaret,

I realize that, as I am on Twitter. I am not sure if Urban Refuge got tagged, so I was going to ask Scout about that.

What I meant is that this is all together in one statement, so it isn't a little bit here and a little bit there. I just thought it might be easier to read for some. Maybe it isn't necessary though.

I'm still fairly new to Twitter myself, so here I think I'm helping with an answer, and everyone's already way ahead of me!  Sorry, MovedOn!!
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Scout
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« Reply #141 on: February 15, 2018, 05:12:38 am »

Linda, this is really good. Is there any way this could be shared with current Evergreen Church members (The Rock, Urban Refuge, Evergreen Bloomington, Evergreen Lakeville, Evergreen New Hope)? I agree they see Scout's story as an attack out of nowhere unfortunately.  Which those of us that were around back then know that isn't the case. The back story is so important here. She isn't some random, obscure person. No victim of abuse should be treated this way. I would like to do anything I can to back up Scout and the credibility she deserves. And there are errors in Evergreen's statement that should be pointed out for a large audience to see.

MovedOn,

Thank you for your support.  I wish there was a word bigger than 'thank you' to express my gratitude, as well as the other victims that have now reached out. 

Scout
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Scout
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« Reply #142 on: February 15, 2018, 05:13:55 am »

Hi Margaret,

I realize that, as I am on Twitter. I am not sure if Urban Refuge got tagged, so I was going to ask Scout about that.

What I meant is that this is all together in one statement, so it isn't a little bit here and a little bit there. I just thought it might be easier to read for some. Maybe it isn't necessary though.

I have not been able to find a Twitter handle for the Urban Refuge. 

As well, I am still trying to understand how to "tag" on Facebook.   Huh

Scout
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Scout
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« Reply #143 on: February 15, 2018, 05:22:30 am »

There have been 4 other victims and survivors of abuse at the hands of Mark Darling that have reached out.  As one can imagine, it can be incredibly difficult to come forward publicly about something as vile as being abused.  And I am sure we all agree that a victim can choose to never come forward publicly in order to validate the abuse done to them.   However, I am in the process of arranging an avenue for victims to come forward anonymously.  Please pray for these women and myself. 

scout
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« Reply #144 on: February 15, 2018, 09:51:31 am »

We will be praying for you and the other four women. Thank you for letting us know.

'Dear Lord, thank you for these women whom you created and whom you love. Thank you for giving them courage to speak up to protect other women. Please bring good counselers to them as they heal from their experiences. Please protect their families and bring them peace in the knowledge of their position with you. Please bring justice to this situation and use it to bring change.
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Scout
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« Reply #145 on: February 15, 2018, 01:11:28 pm »

This afternoon I recieved an email from lawyer that Evergreen Church/Mark Darling have retained as their "independent 3rd party investigator".  For those of you not on Twitter or Facebook, following is FB post.

"Evergreen Church you announced to your church that you were hiring an "independent 3rd party investigator to address pastor Mark Darling's abuse of me. As of today you have not done what you told your congregation you would do. You a hired a lawyer to represent yourselves and Mark Darling. Your lawyer emailed me stating she is the "investigator". Law 101: A lawyer cannot represent both sides in a contested matter because that would be a conflict of interest. When will you do what you told your church you would do? Still waiting to be contacted by an "independent 3rd party investigator"."

Scout
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Scout
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« Reply #146 on: February 15, 2018, 02:27:43 pm »

Additionally, Evergreen Church/Mark Darling's lawyer, "3rd party investigator", wrote that as part of the investigation she wants to speak with me and in doing so I will not be able to speak and/or post about any documents I give her or anything we speak of.  Following is my post concerning it on FB.

Evergreen Church, 17 years ago you offered me $60K to not speak of Mark Darling's abuse of me. I rejected it then and I will not give my voice away now in order for you to protect my abuser, Mark Darling, and your cover up of his abuse. As you know, the attorney you hired wrote that once I speak with her in regards to Mark Darling's abuse of me and your subsequent cover up , I will give up my ability to speak of Mark's abuse of me. Not a chance. When will you learn? I will not be bought or silenced.

Scout
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Janet Easson Martin
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« Reply #147 on: February 15, 2018, 03:06:48 pm »

Scout,

Thank you Scout for STANDING UP TO ABUSE.  Thank you for not agreeing to be silent.  The abusive environment of GCx is all about SILENCE!  THANK YOU for raising your voice.

If it weren't for harshly persuaded pressure to be loyal to GCx instead of God, this organization would have dissolved years ago!  We wouldn't need this website to give a VOICE to the SILENCED and SHUNNED.  This is a dangerously unhealthy church.  It does NOT need to be enabled.  

Though GCx's MO (following in Jim McCotter's steps) is LOYALTY TRUMPS TRUTH, we know this perpetuates the environment of secrets and abusive control.  

Gloriously, TRUTH triumphs over MISPLACED LOYALTY.  It's time for others to come forward and be empowered through THEIR VOICE.

« Last Edit: February 15, 2018, 07:15:35 pm by Janet Easson Martin » Logged

For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.        - Saint Augustine
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« Reply #148 on: February 15, 2018, 08:08:14 pm »

Agreeing in prayer. Scout, Iím so glad that others are speaking up, too. It is very courageous of you all.



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Huldah
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« Reply #149 on: February 15, 2018, 08:59:12 pm »

Thank you, Scout, for not agreeing to be silenced.
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Huldah
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« Reply #150 on: February 15, 2018, 09:04:25 pm »

By the way, sending their lawyer to contact you instead of a valid investigator is clearly an attempt to intimidate you.
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Janet Easson Martin
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« Reply #151 on: February 18, 2018, 02:48:40 pm »

Scout,

I saw your latest post on Facebook regarding the sexual abuse by your pastor who now denies your allegations.  
 
"Evergreen Church, let's split the cost of "independent 3rd party investigator". GRACE is willing to take on this investigation. If Mark Darling is innocent and other pastors there did not partake in the subsequent cover up, then I am sure you would want others to know that. Call them up and let's do this."

I was so thrilled to read that GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) is willing to take this case as a 3rd party investigator!!!  They would not be biased toward you or the pastor and church group in question.  As a split financed investigation between you and Evergreen, this would actually provide an avenue to professionally search for the truth in a way that honors and respects God and his people.  

Thinking of this opportunity made me recall an applicable word of God especially for the accused - "Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God THAT he may exult you at the proper time."  This could be the accused pastor's and his church's finest hour yet if he and they agree to this unbiased investigation, or choose to admit the real details of how they very shamefully responded to your very real claim of abuse. It may be hard at first to exercise humility, but grace awaits them if they submit.  Even exultation at the proper time awaits them as children of God as they humble themselves.  But, to arrogantly refuse such an offer would seem to indicate they have something to hide and little to be transparent about.  

I'll be praying.

Janet

« Last Edit: February 18, 2018, 06:45:13 pm by Janet Easson Martin » Logged

For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.        - Saint Augustine
Scout
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« Reply #152 on: February 18, 2018, 03:25:11 pm »

Scout,

I saw your latest post on Facebook regarding the sexual abuse by your pastor who now denies your allegations. 
 
"Evergreen Church, let's split the cost of "independent 3rd party investigator". GRACE is willing to take on this investigation. If Mark Darling is innocent and other pastors there did not partake in the subsequent cover up, then I am sure you would want others to know that. Call them up and let's do this."

I was so thrilled to read that GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) is willing to take this case as a 3rd party investigator!!!  They would not be biased toward you or the pastor and church group in question.  As a split financed investigation between you and Evergreen, this would actually provide an avenue to professionally search for the truth in a way that honors and respects God and his people. 

Thinking of this opportunity made me recall an applicable word of God especially for the accused - "Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God THAT he may exult you at the proper time."  This could be the accused pastor's and his church's finest hour yet if he and they agree to this unbiased investigation, or choose to admit the real details of how they very shamefully responded to your very real claim of abuse. It may be hard at first to exercise humility, but grace awaits them if they submit.  Even exultation at the proper time awaits them as children of God as they humble themselves.  But, to arrogantly refuse such an offer would seem to indicate they have something to hide and very little to be transparent about. 

I'll be praying.

Janet


Janet,

In speaking with GRACE they indicated that when there has been previous cover up of pastoral sexual abuse, the odds of the church now utilizing their services is close to zero.  The representative I spoke with stated it has much to do with the fact they publish the results so both sides as well as the public has access to the results. Such a curious thing, if they believe I am making all of this up (the abuse and ensuing cover up) then it would seem they would be anxious to clear their name by using an organization like GRACE.  They specialize in ministry pastoral abuse and utilizes law enforcement, lawyers, medical professionals and pastors and would seem a welcomed "independent 3rd party investigator" so they can identify me as a liar. Huh

Scout
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Scout
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« Reply #153 on: February 19, 2018, 09:37:56 am »

Scout - we believe you and pray the truth is fully revealed.

My family was at the Rock for years. We left because of many things that didn't sit well and we felt God leading us away from the church.

We experienced Mark's approach to women on good number of occasions. After we left and found counseling to start healing we realized how truly messed up what we were following was.

If husband's had relationship issues with their wives, Mark would inevitably always ask if they were having their period because if they were... They would be emotionally compromised and unable to act rationally.  This idea was common response by many men and crafted how they viewed their wives as less than.

When intimacy issues or topics were discussed he openly spoke about his own experiences with his wife. Giving advice and examples to help the couple. It was not appropriate.  He once mentioned at a marriage conference that he counseled a church outside the US that anal sex was acceptable if it was something the husband and wife agreed to and because it was more culturally accepted.  He shared ideas with couples of how they could satisfy each other if the wife wasnt as physically able because of health issues. This created improper expectations and damage in marriage.

On several occasions when there were serious marriage issues that were caused by a husband's sin issue... Blame would be twisted to turned around onto the wife.  These situations take years to recover and heal from.

We also experienced depths of emotional and spiritual abuse that would make such a long list you wouldn't even believe it.  This organization is designed for manipulation, control and spiritual bondage.  Two separate and independent counselors warned us we were part of a cult even though they're not really supposed to.  If you and your children didn't look, act or live in specific ways...you felt it.  If you made a choice counter to the culture....you apparently hadnt prayed enough seeking God for an answer. 

You commit for life or are cut off. Once leaving, you left your faith in Christ as well.  Gossip becomes their chosen language associated with your name.  A former pastor we're still in touch with today was ousted by The Rock and Mark...however from the stage the blame was placed on his wife's eating disorder. The truth was he didn't mesh with some of the stuff that was going on and was pushing for a change. He instead was pushed out. I heard his name spoken by current members unkindly and that he had left his faith. In fact, he started a church and is saving lives.  I believe he was ordered out to protect those in control.

After several years of being gone, we are no longer friends with almost all the individuals we shared our lives with.  We were cut off.  The ones we've talked to have been those wondering if they should leave or that have left (over 70 in the last few years).

Mark used people's situations as ways to position himself as Jesus. Going around explaining how he had helped and transformed people's lives himself. Even going as far to state that one woman wouldn't had been an effective witness to Jesus Christ if she hadnt lost weight like he counseled her.  Talking about himself as our father or seeing himself as a modern day Paul....with his GCLI as his disciples.  From the pulpit he would use recent conversations with people struggling as life examples to the church. He would change the name and timeframe but I knew of many of the specific situations he would be taking about.

He also spoke out against other churches in opposition. Speaking of spiritual elitism. Talking down about other churches and how the Rock was doing it the right way.  Rather than in partnership to have a larger impact for Christ.

 So many women in that church have gone through intense chronic health issues. They claim it's because their doing something right....and that the devil is attacking. I believe it's oppression, spiritual bondage and because the devil can have his way. The blindness is sad.

Evergreen - when are you going to get a clue and realize how many lives this man has jacked up?  WAKE UP.  The Rock is no different.


ExGccer,

My heart is broken for you and your family.  I am sorry and that feels inadequate.  I stand with you.

Scout
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Scout
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« Reply #154 on: February 19, 2018, 10:14:05 am »

Yesterday I received several private messages on this forum from RicktRoll. 

Here is the first private message from RicktRoll"

"Suzanne, I want to send you a private message to call out some things and give you the honor of calling them out privately to you.  I've been a third party from the outside looking in this whole time and I've been giving my perspective from that viewpoint.  I can also see that nothing with you is private but still wanted to give you this chance to handle this information as you please.
I came across some information I thought you might find helpful.  I do believe you want the truth in all of this and that's pretty clear from your writing.  I read one of your Twitter posts that states you have done EMDR therapy.  I have a friend who also had EMDR therapy.  10 sessions.  They didn't report any signifigant changes, but  wanted to learn more about this therapy.  Maybe you're aware, but it has been linked very strongly to false memory syndrome.  In fact, if you Google the term "EMDR false memory" you'll find a litany of information, studies and reports.  Here is a link to a TED talk by respected psychotherapist  and I've also attached the finding of her report.  I'm not trying to cast any aspersions.  But maybe this could bring some peace."
I am not sure how to place RicktRoll's links here.  RicktRoll, can you repost them on the public forum?

I responded to RicktRoll that I did EMDR therapy a few years ago.  I had not done EMDR therapy 17ish years ago when I sought out therapy for Mark Darling's abuse of me.

Following is RicktRoll's response:

"Even if EMDR was applied later on don't you think it would effect all those memories before it then?
What abuse are you talking about?  I don't see you saying anything in your posts that show there was abuse.  You claim he was with you alone and that he hugged you with a boner.  What happened in those times?
Any why hasn't your husband stood up for you yet?  It would help your cause so much if he was standing by your side showing his support for you!  Everyone is asking about him and I wan't to make sure you look strong!"

Finally, I sure this is purely coincidental, but one definition of "Rick Rolled" is "To be tricked by a forum troll...".  To be fair there are other definitions as well.

Scout

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RicktRoll
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« Reply #155 on: February 19, 2018, 10:52:24 am »

If anyone wants to read up on the EMDR therapy here are some resources.

LINK TO TED TALK: https://maibergerinstitute.com/false-memories-and-emdr-therapy/
LINK TO ARTICLE: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/media-spotlight/201211/implanting-false-memories
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RicktRoll
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« Reply #156 on: February 19, 2018, 11:10:17 am »

Also, wow purely coincidence. Just saw this now.

Signed,

Richard Rollins
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Linda
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« Reply #157 on: February 19, 2018, 11:21:48 am »

Oh, wow, Rich Rollins, didn't you play 3rd base for the Minnesota Twins in the 1965 World Series?!
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Janet Easson Martin
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« Reply #158 on: February 19, 2018, 11:29:23 am »

Scout,

First of all, I don't put any weight on commentary that comes from lying lips.  Anyone who brings up the goto defense of false memories only serves to attack your testimony.  Those who SAY they support you, but attack you in their ACTIONS are wolves in sheep's' clothing.  Many sexual predators have used this defense.  One such historic case is of a young woman abused by a "powerful" spiritual authority who uses recalled memories to heal and confront abuse she suffered.  Once she came forward years later, many other victims of this predator were then strengthened by her exposure of the abuse.  Very sadly, corrupt powers claimed her memories were false when all the time they had been very real.  This fortunately is now documented in a Netflix Series called "THE KEEPERS".  I suggest any who negate recalled memories get more educated, especially by this series.

Secondly, EMDR is a successful therapy used by licensed professionals of which I'm guessing the attacker is not. And, as you clarified it was NOT part of your initial confrontation with your abuser, your therapist, his fellow pastor, his wife and your own husband.  This sort of deflective reasoning is deceptive.  Obviously, he has NOT dared to mention the OTHER VICTIMS of this abuser who have contacted you personally.

So sorry, you received such arrogant and hurtful comments.  Hang on.  God knows what's really going on and he will vindicate you.


"No weapon forged against you will prevail"
Isaiah 54:17


Believing You,

Janet
« Last Edit: February 19, 2018, 02:48:16 pm by Janet Easson Martin » Logged

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Huldah
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« Reply #159 on: February 19, 2018, 05:01:56 pm »

Gee, RicktRoll, you're just so darn helpful.   Undecided

I looked back through your posts, and they're all about finding out the truth, and wanting the truth to be revealed, with a little lip service thrown in about supporting Scout.

Do you believe that the truth has not yet been revealed? Scout told her story in detail. She claims she has evidence. Others who were at Evergreen at the same time clearly find her story consistent with their experiences, whereas Evergreen leadership appears to be playing fast and loose with the facts. She's willing to split the cost of hiring investigators who have a proven track record of integrity. If she's lying or confused or just plain deluded about what happened, why hasn't Evergreen jumped on that offer so they can set the record straight?

Do you believe Scout or not? You've been clamoring for "the truth" since you first started posting, and now that you've learned about the EMDR, you think you've found a "gotcha" to explain away the accusations. It never happened! It was false memories! You even hope that learning that she can't trust her own brain will somehow bring Scout peace! Who sent you here, and what are you really trying to accomplish?

If you're a follower of Jesus Christ, you're a follower of the One who calls himself "the Way and the Truth and the Life." Sometimes, serving the truth means we have to face some ugly realities. Sometimes those realities involve people we love and revere, like a much-esteemed pastor who turns out to have been a disgusting wolf. Rick, are you a worshiper of the Lord Jesus Christ, or a worshiper of Mark Darling? If these two masters stand opposed to each other, which one will you choose to hate?
« Last Edit: February 19, 2018, 09:19:31 pm by Huldah » Logged
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