Welcome to De-Commissioned, a place for former members of the Great Commission movement (aka GCM, GCC, GCAC, GCI, the Blitz) to discuss problems they've experienced in the association's practices and theology.

You may read and post, but some features are restricted to registered members. Please consider registering to gain full access! Registration is free and only takes a few moments to complete.
De-Commissioned Forum
December 02, 2021, 11:19:46 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 
  Home   Forum   Help Search Login Register  
Pages: 1 ... 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 [16] 17 18 19 20   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Pastor Mark Darling-Pastor who abused me  (Read 285186 times)
GretchenGail
Regular (15-99 Posts)
**
Offline Offline

Posts: 22



« Reply #300 on: March 17, 2018, 02:04:27 pm »

Quote
people with mental health issues (I've been around people like this often, and not saying she's "crazy" in case that's what you are assuming I'm saying, I'm saying she's suffering with mental health struggles) are likely to struggle being truthful
Wow, that's a pretty insulting comment to make about those of us who struggle with mental health issues. Especially after myself and others have straight up had our pastors tell us We were lying about our symptoms, and have been told we just need to get right with God and everything will get better. I feel sorry for the people you're around with that attitude.

That's sad. At my church our pastors refer people with mental health struggles to a very dear health professional. It's a real thing, real symptoms and often there's so many layers to it that pastors sometimes can't relate to. At our church and within GCC churches, you can find lots of support!
Logged
Differentstrokes
Veteran (100-299 Posts)
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 151



« Reply #301 on: March 17, 2018, 02:17:27 pm »

How nice for you
Logged
Digital Lynch Mob
Veteran (100-299 Posts)
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 238



« Reply #302 on: March 18, 2018, 12:07:32 pm »

Shamednomore - actually yes there is a fair and unbiased third party independent investigation going on as we speak. The investigative attorney is representing no one. She is looking for the truth. And results of the investigation will be released.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2018, 03:13:03 pm by Digital Lynch Mob » Logged
Janet Easson Martin
Private Forum Access
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1108



« Reply #303 on: March 25, 2018, 11:27:10 am »

Wow!!!   Perhaps when God's people act in such an ungodly manner, neither supporting nor protecting those innocent that he loves, He must work through other avenues to expose abuse and bring justice.


Thank you so much for sharing this with us.


« Last Edit: March 25, 2018, 11:30:55 am by Janet Easson Martin » Logged

For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.        - Saint Augustine
Digital Lynch Mob
Veteran (100-299 Posts)
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 238



« Reply #304 on: March 25, 2018, 03:28:09 pm »

You were requested to send said letter? Requested by whom?
Logged
pvitartas
Regular (15-99 Posts)
**
Offline Offline

Posts: 47



« Reply #305 on: March 25, 2018, 06:19:38 pm »

Attacking a person's mental health is Orwellian.  It is not a point of debate, it is a deflection.  It is an ad hominem attack at its utter base.

Independent council, please. 

Historical attempts at cover ups by the Catholic church for this sort of issue should serve as an example of what NOT to do.

Logged
jeromydaviddarling
Veteran (100-299 Posts)
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 178



« Reply #306 on: March 26, 2018, 09:01:58 am »

Wow, another anonymous poster chiming in with anonymous information. Let me see if I have this right: 20+ years ago you gave my dad a letter excoriating him over theology and he disagreed. His disagreement CLEARLY proves that NO ONE can EVER confront him. You now feel that this information is relevant to send to a news organization as proof that while my dad may not be a rapist, he definitely likes ear pornography? And you think a respected, educated, seasoned journalist is going to take that into consideration? Would you also send this to Joan Harris? Could you also define what "ear pornography" is? At least we now know that someone is "directing" Suzanne (I mean, I already knew that, but it's nice that it was posted publicly). Glad I saved that post before it was deleted
Logged
blonde
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 349



« Reply #307 on: March 26, 2018, 10:17:40 pm »

Jeromy ask you dad to to http://www.netgrace.org/ and not lawyer up. Again, the Bible states: 1 Corinthians 6 and on-wards

Do Not Take Believers to Court

6 Suppose one of you wants to bring a charge against another believer. Should you take it to ungodly people to be judged? Why not take it to the Lordís people? 2 Or donít you know that the Lordís people will judge the world? Since this is true, arenít you able to judge small cases? 3 Donít you know that we will judge angels? Then we should be able to judge the things of this life even more! 4 So suppose you disagree with one another in matters like this. Who do you ask to decide which of you is right? Do you ask people who live in a way the church disapproves of? Of course not! 5 I say this to shame you. Is it possible that no one among you is wise enough to judge matters between believers? 6 Instead, one believer goes to court against another. And this happens in front of unbelievers!

7 When you take another believer to court, you have lost the battle already. Why not be treated wrongly? Why not be cheated? 8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong. And you do it to your brothers and sisters. 9 Donít you know that people who do wrong will not receive Godís kingdom? Donít be fooled. Those who commit sexual sins will not receive the kingdom. Neither will those who worship statues of gods or commit adultery. Neither will men who sleep with other men. 10 Neither will thieves or those who always want more and more. Neither will those who are often drunk or tell lies or cheat. People who live like that will not receive Godís kingdom. 11 Some of you used to do those things. But your sins were washed away. You were made holy. You were made right with God. All of this was done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. It was also done by the Spirit of our God.

Ironically, the next section in the Bible is in line of your new and growing ministry:

Sexual Sins
12 Some of you say, ďI have the right to do anything.Ē But not everything is helpful. Again some of you say, ďI have the right to do anything.Ē But I will not be controlled by anything. 13 Some of you say, ďFood is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food. And God will destroy both of them.Ē But the body is not meant for sexual sins. The body is meant for the Lord. And the Lord is meant for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead. He will also raise us up. 15 Donít you know that your bodies belong to the body of Christ? Should I take what belongs to Christ and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 When you join yourself to a prostitute, you become one with her in body. Donít you know this? Scripture says, ďThe two will become one.Ē (Genesis 2:24) 17 But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one with him in spirit.

18 Keep far away from sexual sins. All the other sins a person commits are outside the body. But sexual sins are sins against their own body. 19 Donít you know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit? The Spirit is in you, and you have received the Spirit from God. You do not belong to yourselves. 20 Christ has paid the price for you. So use your bodies in a way that honors God.

Mark lawyer'ed up. I get the impression you define your life by you father, Mark. You are not. You are your own man. I respect that. Again, ask your dad to do the http://www.netgrace.org/ route.

-Blonde
Logged

We must become the change we want to see.
-Mahatma Gandhi
arrogantcat
Regular (15-99 Posts)
**
Offline Offline

Posts: 60



« Reply #308 on: April 04, 2018, 03:19:00 pm »

Net Grace is an organization devoted to child sexual abuse. This hasn't been alleged. There is absolutely no reason the church should hire them.
Logged
Huldah
Private Forum Access
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 955



« Reply #309 on: April 04, 2018, 07:05:52 pm »

That wouldn't necessarily disqualify GRACE from working with adult victims of alleged abuse. Suzanne said on Facebook that they (GRACE ) were willing to do the investigation. She even offered to split the cost with Evergreen so that the investigators wouldn't be beholden to either side. But if you feel that GRACE isn't a good fit for this situation, is there another investigative team you'd recommend instead?
« Last Edit: April 04, 2018, 07:17:04 pm by Huldah » Logged
Digital Lynch Mob
Veteran (100-299 Posts)
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 238



« Reply #310 on: April 05, 2018, 12:07:31 pm »

I'd recommend the investigator who has been working on this for almost the past two months.
« Last Edit: April 05, 2018, 12:31:43 pm by Digital Lynch Mob » Logged
Huldah
Private Forum Access
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 955



« Reply #311 on: April 05, 2018, 03:56:12 pm »

Speaking of her, where is she now? I was under the impression that her report was submitted to the BOT on March 27.
Logged
AgathaL'Orange
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1182



« Reply #312 on: April 05, 2018, 05:54:47 pm »

I'd recommend the investigator who has been working on this for almost the past two months.


Two months.  Wow!  Time flies. 

DLM, I know your opinion is that Suzanne is lying, but whether or not she's telling the truth, there's a credibility issue at stake.  I'm trying to figure out how to square that away in the minds of former members who'd like to move forward and current members who are hoping for a solid, above board, transparent approach.  I guess for me, I'm wondering how people can be assured that issues are being addressed properly if the alleged victim isn't feeling good about the process?  Thoughts?
Logged

Glad to be free.
AgathaL'Orange
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1182



« Reply #313 on: April 05, 2018, 05:55:57 pm »

That wouldn't necessarily disqualify GRACE from working with adult victims of alleged abuse. Suzanne said on Facebook that they (GRACE ) were willing to do the investigation. She even offered to split the cost with Evergreen so that the investigators wouldn't be beholden to either side. But if you feel that GRACE isn't a good fit for this situation, is there another investigative team you'd recommend instead?

I know that Grace does more than that, because the Ortbergs, from what I understand have suggested Grace to investigate Willow Creek and Bill Hybels.  So it must not just be for child sexual abuse. 
Logged

Glad to be free.
Huldah
Private Forum Access
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 955



« Reply #314 on: April 06, 2018, 09:22:57 am »

Agatha, you're correct. I checked the GRACE website, and it turns out that they did an investigation for Bob Jones University. So clearly they aren't limited to investigating only child abuse.
Logged
Linda
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 2496



« Reply #315 on: April 06, 2018, 11:58:02 am »

Quote
Our desire is to get to the truth of the matter, so that compassion and assistance can be demonstrated to those who have been hurt and changes can happen on  an organizational level.

This sounds exactly like what should be happening.

1. Truth should be found.

2. Those hurt should be identified (in the case where victims are lying the pastor would be the person that was hurt) and helped.

3. The structure of the organization should be corrected in a way to minimize future charges of abuse.

No one is saying GRACE has to be the group. The victims are calling for an independent 3rd party investigation with a team that both sides agree on. This is totally reasonable. Again, I repeat, no one is saying it has to be GRACE.

The idea that a BOT (appointed by the people being investigated) is "independent" is illogical. In addition, the idea that the people being investigated (i.e. the pastors) who appointed each member (and therefore know who each member is) along with a handful of "special" members are the only people who know who the members of the BOT are is astonishingly biased. Furthermore, the idea that the victims do not know who the members of the BOT are, but those being accused do, shows even further bias.

ECC people, if your church will not tell you who the people are who are on your BOT, then I suggest you rethink what it is to be a member, and what it is to be a church.
Logged

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.
Linda
Household Name (300+ Posts)
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 2496



« Reply #316 on: April 06, 2018, 01:00:44 pm »

I would love to hear what you know about the process.

Would also love to hear what people think about a financial board of a nonprofit being mostly anonymous.

No one said anything about board members lying. My understanding is that the pastors of ECC felt the BOT would be susceptible to persuasion by those alleging abuse if their names were announced.
Logged

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.
Omega Man
Obscure Poster (1-14 Posts)
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 1



« Reply #317 on: April 09, 2018, 08:56:56 pm »

I'm a Christ follower who does not attend Evergreen or ever did.  I was made aware of this situation about 10 days ago and have done extensive reading of publicly available material.  I will try to speak simply...What's a matter with you??!!!  You are an embarrassment to the cause of Christ in your behavior.  There are almost no posts on Social Media (by definition of this being conflict) that fall under the approaches found in scripture for Christians to resolve their problems. 

Suzanne, you are not brave, you are utterly disrespectful to scripture and it's mandates.  You have created a maelstrom and I find nothing elevating or pointing to Jesus in your approach.  As a Twin City Evangelical, I disavow completely how you have handled these matters. 

Jeromy and others, you are equally disrespectful to the Bibles clear and not very confusing instruction on conflict and resolution.

And all of the rest of you voyeurs, drawn like a moth to a flame, onlookers who are tickling Suzanne and Jeromy's ear with what they want to hear...Shame on you.  You will get your reward just as Job's friends did.  All of you (sorry, I should be saying most of you) are sadly the "Noisy Cymbals" of I Corinthians 13.

I see NO Love here
I see NO God exalted here
I see NO Obedience here
and worst of all, I can't see Jesus anywhere

All I see here are people who want to win.  That's all...win.  The heck with God, the heck with Scripture, the heck with the Church's reputation, the heck with other Evangelicals working to win people to Jesus...you just need to win.

It's too bad none of you have somebody in your life with the strength and conviction to force you to meet and spend time doing the deep and really hard work of true reconciliation and shut off your computers and your cell phones and work to bring God glory in conflict.

Jeromy, you do have an amazing dad, I suggest you act more like he is and stop trying to win and start worrying about Jesus.  I'm pretty sure God is big enough to fight your battle as you honor Him in it.
Suzanne, there is virtually nothing in how you have and continue to handle this that I respect.  You may be working hard at becoming a #metoo celebrity and maybe you'll achieve it, but at what cost?  I'm pretty sure God is big enough to fight your battle if choose to honor Him in it.

All of this breaks my heart because I love the church and it's broken people of which I am the chief broken piece of clay.  Tonight at Bible Study Fellowship, our topic was ironcially, Romans 14 where Paul implores Christians to put Unity and the Cause of Christ over their rights and preferences.  Are any of you actually doing that?  No, Really?  I mean really doing that?

Ironically, the only people I'm finding I respect in this matter are actually Mark and his wife.  Their silence speaks volumes to me about their maturity, their humility, their faith and how they feel about their Church and their Savior.  I suggest more of you do the same.

Logged
HughHoney
Guest

« Reply #318 on: April 09, 2018, 09:16:51 pm »

Quote
onlookers who are tickling Suzanne and Jeromy's ear

What decade of Great Comm are you from? Thank god I got out before the ear tickling started
« Last Edit: April 09, 2018, 09:23:28 pm by HughHoney » Logged
araignee19
Veteran (100-299 Posts)
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 278



« Reply #319 on: April 10, 2018, 05:16:06 am »

Omega man, I sent you a private message so as not to stir the pot further here. Just wanted you to know because the notification can be tough to see.
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 [16] 17 18 19 20   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC
SimplePortal 2.1.1