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Author Topic: Pastor Mark Darling-Pastor who abused me  (Read 286143 times)
Janet Easson Martin
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« Reply #380 on: April 29, 2018, 07:33:54 pm »

And, I so agree, Linda, with your post above Rebel's.
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For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.        - Saint Augustine
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« Reply #381 on: April 29, 2018, 08:04:36 pm »

Greentruth, I'm sorry that I really don't understand what you're talking about. 

I don't actually really like to twist words.  I really like to understand people.  I apparently do not understand what you're talking about.  I'm sorry that I didn't ask for clarification before responding.  Since you quoted this conversation, I thought you were speaking to those people and their point.  Because you frequently respond to people, like you just did to me, I assumed that you were insinuating that Linda and Badger are part of "the current attack on all churches" and part of "manipulating and distorting."  If that's what you meant, I don't understand why asking for true accountability would attack the body of Christ at all, hence my response.  If you want to explain again I am willing to try to understand.  I did assume you were criticizing them or telling them they're wrong and I apologize if you were not.



 
Quote from: Badger
I don't think we have to worry about "defaming" God by uncovering corruption in our churches. 

I took this as a generic comment about exposing sin among churches.

[/quite

Generic? Sin? Corruption?  All confusing words when used to manipulate and distort what some feel empowered by abusing. God will not be mocked.  My heart breaks at such calloused talk, given the current attack on all churches.
don't understand what you write.
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Greentruth
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« Reply #382 on: April 30, 2018, 06:09:38 am »

Thank you isthisreal, your words do define what I thought I had shared. I think we all want the truths to come to light, but the agenda that seems to being pushed here helps no one, and actually does hurt everyone involved, including Suzanne and John.
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XianJaneway
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« Reply #383 on: July 03, 2018, 08:51:38 pm »

I'm bumping this because I just heard the news: Darling is out, & Scout has been vindicated. <3
http://www.fox9.com/news/mega-church-pastor-resigns-after-investigation-into-inappropriate-conduct-

I praise God for justice, and I pray that everyone he manipulated can find healing.
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« Reply #384 on: July 04, 2018, 08:27:36 am »

Pretty interesting to read back through this, now that the investigation is done. I haven't gotten through all 20 pages yet, but when you think about all of the anger and vitriol and mockery that Scout went through in the last 6 months, it's pretty incredible. She did have a ton of courage to bring this forward again, and she did not turn on her attackers. It took so much courage for each one of the abused who came forward, but Scout took the brunt of it.

Thank you, Scout, for your courage and perseverance.

Turns out that Mark Darling did not have the maturity and character to be a pastor. I feel sad for his family and for him and hope they all find the help they need. I hope that Evergreen Church has the courage and humility to make the changes that are needed.

And I pray for Scout and the other victims that they will be able to find rest, hope, strength, and comfort in the Good Shepherd who cares deeply for each one of them, who can heal in ways they might not even know they need, who vindicates, who deserves all our praise and worship. Jesus faithfully answered prayers for the truth to come out and for comfort and strength for those who were mistreated.
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« Reply #385 on: May 03, 2020, 03:01:38 am »

Where has justice been served..found guilty among his peers..cannot accept the truth...still in denial...guilty as hell...no longer a pastor...his ordination rescinded..taken away.......you just cannot open a cracker jack box..pull a new one out of thin air...just because you have a new web site..somehow got a tax exempt status...so people can give you their hard earned money and you say you are an online counselor..pastor....consultant..disciple of Jesus christ?.....sounds a little reaching and far fetched to many.......sounds more like you still continue being a fake..a fraud.charlaton... an online internet huckster..a deceiver..scammer and will be known for the rest of your life as a immoral sexual deviant ex-pastor predator of young women.........no denying that...lets pin a big letter P on to your leather jacket...hoping..wishing..praying you just ride off into the sunset and never to be heard from again..... but no...you refuse to accept the ruling against you because of your arrogance..can not accept things as they are....may god strike you down again and again.........................innocent....far from it.....why deny the truth..................Holier than thou...Do as i Say not as i do...you are beneath me for I am greater than though...wow..it's all in the words and deflection of the storyteller..the wordsmith.........all those bright lights..amazing colors and exploding planets..the trilogy..the prodigy..the so called wanna be prophet from zap arcade...master of the universe..divine one.. purveyor over galaxies.......................ha ha....just fooled a few die hards..emulators..tag alongs...marky mark wannabees.........maybe this a beginning..to things to become..a pattern..power trip....this reflects upon the mind of the legend..the myth of who he was not..sad to say.....then hearing about the prophet who rose from the ashes..the purveyor of the galaxy..all the way from Iowa by way of Zap Arcade..the master of the universe and to hear him speak...not in a biblical sense...but one from the cool zone...jeans..penny loafers..sun glasses and that leather jacket and spiky hair and all his tag alongs and emulators in tow...wow..a modern day messiah in the flesh...he must be truly from god...a christ figure in the 20 th. century...walking among us in the flesh..the divine one.................instead  a house of cards..you know..a great illusion....but like all fraudulent things the facade falls and the truth is known to all..but soon the smoke screen evaporated and a lot of people just seen the small wimp that roared ...only the deceived and misguided clung to his fabric....The dramatic rise of a storyteller....and his fall.......timber..is what the lumberjacks say when the mighty evergreen rising above the other trees is chopped down.....meaning..coming down..don't be crushed in the aftermath of destruction and ruin..........................Mark..nobody denies you have good intentions for the most part and are a great father...and you have received adoration..respect..love from your followers and they simply uphold you and there is simply no reason on earth why multiple women would make false claims against you all along the same line...immoral sexual deviant perversion.....yes..none have anything to gain personally...only shame..a sense of guilt..confusion..because they came out against you..they are the one being victimized..traumatized and their feeling of self worth tore down...yes...there are no winners here...all walk in a valley of destruction..ruins..devastation........so the reality is no one would ever make claims against you...unless it was the truth......................let us speak of his street cred..reputation on the street......Immoral Sexual Deviant Pervert Pastor.........Sexual Predator Pastors...Example - Ex-Pastor of Evergreen Church Mark Darling........Predators are those who have a pattern of intentionally using their position of authority to take advantage of church members to gratify their own sexual desires. This pattern of abuse has been historically pervasive in all spheres of society—even in the church and ministry. This is because any narcissist (who usually has a sense of entitlement) tends to abuse the power entrusted to them, which results in taking advantage of those under their influence.

............in the context of this article, the word "predator" describes a pastor and/or church leader who sexually preys on vulnerable and/or willing congregational members. I have observed that it doesn't matter how old or how physically unappealing a spiritual leader is—church members can be attracted to their anointing, title, and position of power.



It is also possible that either a spiritual leader or a congregant can unintentionally fall into an inappropriate relationship because of the depravity of human nature, which doesn't necessarily identify them as a predator. Hence, I do not believe that all spiritual leaders who fall into sin are predators— only those who intentionally use their position of authority to take advantage of a church member to gratify their own sexual desires.

The following are 10 traits of predator pastors:

1. Predator pastors plan a long-term courtship.
Just like those in any other field of work, predator pastors survey their surroundings and plan a long-term courtship that enables them to catch their prey. By courtship, I am referring to a slow, patient process of subtly interacting with a person they are attracted to. This can start off by intentionally bumping into them, having casual conversations that gradually progress from generalities to intimate interchange based on common goals, empathy or ministry collaboration.

This process can take months or even years—all the while, the unsuspecting person innocently plays along with said predator leader. At first, said pastor throws out general bait, then gets more specific if their targeted member takes the bait and grants them more personal access.

If this sounds devious and demonic, it is. Predators are as slow, deliberate and cunning as a serpent and will take sexual advantage of people when they can—no matter how long it takes.

2. A predator seeks out the vulnerable members.

Since pastors make a living observing human nature, they can easily spot a vulnerable member to whom they are attracted. Characteristics they look out for include, but are not limited to: those having marital problems, divorced, lonely singles who have never married, those experiencing great trauma and pain, those newly saved looking for a mentor and so on. Anybody under the purview of a leader that fits any of the above categories is a prime candidate to be sexually objectified by predator pastors.

3. A predator pastor seeks those infatuated with them.

A predator pastor is not stupid and can tell which people feel an attraction and/or are infatuated with them. Characteristics of those infatuated with them include those who incessantly try to make eye contact with them, those always coming specifically to the pastor for personal prayer after their Sunday messages, those always flattering them regarding their preaching and or appearance. Of course, not every believer who does some of the above is infatuated or has evil desires in their heart. Those a predator pastor deems infatuated with them will most likely be among their first targets, because they usually look for low-hanging fruit.

4. Predator pastors offer to pray for the unsuspecting.Unfortunately, a predator will even make use of the sacred things of God such as prayer to ascertain a fleshly connection with unsuspecting members. In my opinion, it is rarely appropriate when a male pastor offers private prayer regularly to a female church attendee. In my book, this is a red flag in most cases, with few exceptions.

5. A predator pastor offers to become a mentor or guide.

Many attractive members, young or old, would jump at the chance for their lead pastor to mentor them personally. While in many cases a seasoned male pastor can paternally mentor a lady as a spiritual daughter or apprentice, both the mentor and mentee should keep their discernment level at a peak so as not to allow the enemy and/or a predator spirit to enter the relationship.

6. A predator pastor often feigns concern for their victim's family.

One of the biggest tricks up the sleeve of predator pastor is when they intentionally interact and minister to their victim's spouse and family as a smokescreen that hides their true intentions. Remember, just because there is a close association with family members doesn't negate the fact that a person in that family is a target of a predator.

7. A predator pastor justifies the relationship on biblical grounds.

I have heard of spiritual leaders and lead pastors saying that God gave them a "spirit wife"—which transcends natural marriage and justifies adultery. I have heard of pastors who taught that since the kingdom has no male or female—sexual relations have no negative consequence, because that comes under the purview of the world, not the kingdom. I have even heard pastors say that since King David had his Bathsheba without losing his throne, they can have their own mistress without losing their ministry (they say that no man or church can remove them from their pulpit).

Others have used Old Testament Scripture to justify touching the thigh of a church member as a sign of a biblical covenant between them (I kid you not—I have heard it all!). Pastors who twist Scripture to justify aberrant sexual relations with church members are predators and should be removed from their ministry and defrocked until recognized spiritual leaders attest on their behalf that true repentance has occurred. (Ministerial restoration in these extreme cases should only take place after years of walking in a process of restoration and proper biblical indoctrination.)

8. Predator pastors abuse their position of authority.

As noted in the introduction, clerical predators utilize their ecclesial title to gain access to the personal lives of those they sexually target. The unsuspecting naively think that just because a person has the title of a spiritual leader, they must have others' best interests in mind. interests in mind.

9. Predator pastors have low self- esteem and go after those under them.

Often, predators suffer with low self-esteem and try to sexually connect only with those they deem inferior (inferior either spiritually or in knowledge and experience). Each sexual conquest they experience makes them feel better about themselves and feeds their ego. Not every pastor with low self-esteem fits this category—but most predators in general probably lack a sense of inner worth and use these illicit dalliances to mollify their inferiority complex.

10. Predator pastors are repeat offenders.

Unfortunately, as with all predators, there is usually more than one victim. If a pastor has been found to prey on one individual, there is a great chance there are several other victims in the congregation. (Each victim thinks they are unique to said predator, but the sad reality is that they were objectified to satisfy predator lust—with the absence of true biblical love).

Finally, may the Lord root out and expose predator pastors who function more like wolves than as shepherds. To repeat what was already stated in a previous point: Just because a spiritual leader falls into sexual sin with a church member does not make them either a wolf or a predator. A predator pastor is one who intentionally uses their position in the church to take advantage of people on a regular basis. And may the Lord guard all of our hearts so that we never fall away from our call as pastors to feed (not objectify) the flock of God, which was purchased with the blood of Jesus (1 Pet. 5:1-4; Acts 20:28)............................................god be the glory

Example : Mark Darling...Immoral Sexual Deviant Predator.........Since the mid 1970s when the term "sexual harassment" was first recognized, the world has seen an evolution in awareness, laws and litigation, policies, advocacy, and international collaboration to eradicate sexual harassment in the workplace. In our own communities we have moved from debating whether or not sexual harassment is even a problem to witnessing women and men join together across national boundaries to address it in global settings, churches and ministries, and multinational workplaces.

Since the 1990s, sexual harassment is a recognized form of sexual violence and misconduct in our societies . The Church declared sexual harassment a sin against individuals and communities, and a chargeable offense against our clergy or laity. Critical to our understanding of the impact of harassment is the recognition that it is certainly an abuse of power over another, not only inappropriate sexual or gender-directed conduct.

Definitions

Beginning with the continuum of behaviors that includes sexual harassment: Sexual misconduct is a betrayal of sacred trust. It is a continuum of unwanted sexual or gender-directed behaviors by either a lay or clergy person within a ministerial relationship (paid or unpaid). It can include child abuse, adult sexual abuse, harassment, rape or sexual assault, sexualized verbal comments or visuals, unwelcome touching and advances, use of sexualized materials including pornography, stalking, sexual abuse of youth or those without capacity to consent, or misuse of the pastoral or ministerial position using sexualized conduct to take advantage of the vulnerability of another. It includes criminal behaviors in some nations, states, or communities.

Sexual harassment is a form of sexual misconduct. The Social Principles define it as "any unwanted sexual comment, advance or demand, either verbal or physical, that is reasonably perceived by the recipient as demeaning, intimidating, or coercive. Sexual harassment must be understood as an exploitation and abuse of a power relationship rather than as an exclusively sexual issue. Sexual harassment includes, but is not limited to, the creation of a hostile or abusive working environment resulting from discrimination on the basis of gender"

To clarify further, it is unwanted sexual or gender-directed behavior within a pastoral, employment, ministerial (including volunteers), mentor, or colleague relationship that is so severe or pervasive that it alters the conditions of employment or volunteer work or unreasonable interferes with the employee or volunteer's performance. It can create a hostile, offensive environment that can include unwanted sexual jokes, repeated advances, touching, displays, or comments that insult, degrade, or sexually exploit women, men, elders, children, or youth.

Generally, anyone can be a target and anyone can harass-women, men, youth, interns, volunteers, all racial/ethnic groups, any level of employee, clergy, or laity. In the learning place, it affects any student of either gender, any grade, any teacher or professional, or any volunteer.

Businesses, governments, congregations, and organizations lose significant human and financial resources when harassment is permitted to devastate workers, customers, or members. It damages self-esteem, productivity, and ability to minister or earn wages. It can result in illness, absenteeism, poor performance, loss of promotions and opportunities. For students it can result in failure, absenteeism, isolation from peers, loss of self-esteem and learning potential, withdrawal from teams and groups, and illness. Families of the harassed and others in work, worship, and learning places are also victims of the hostile, intimidating environment harassment creates.

Harassment in the Church

In the church, harassment can occur between a staff person, pastor, committee or council chairperson, church school teacher or helper, student, camper, counselor, youth worker, volunteer, or chaperone, paid or unpaid. It can happen on the bus to camp, in a youth group or Bible study, on a church computer or in choir rehearsal. The devastating effects on persons when it happens in a faith community jeopardize spiritual life, theological meaning, and relationships. For some, the loss of a sense of safety and sanctuary can permanent.





But the most recent surveys of our progress in eradicating sexual harassment  are very troubling: sexual harassment remains a significant problem for women and men, lay and clergy in our church settings, programs, and with church property (including computers and the Internet):

Awareness of the denomination's policy on sexual harassment is relatively high (higher among clergy than laity), but awareness of the resources for victims and congregations is much lower.
While every local congregation is required to have a policy and procedure on sexual misconduct, including sexual harassment, in 2007 only 34 percent of small and 86 percent of largest membership churches report that they do.
Ninety percent of pastors have attended at least one sexual ethics training, but only one of four pastors has attended supplementary training.
More than three-fourths of the clergywomen and half of the laywomen had experienced sexual harassment in the Church (only a third of laymen had); the most commonly reported settings were church meetings and offices, and workplaces and social gatherings ........
Perpetrators are most often men and increasingly laypersons in the local church. Clergy commit over a third of reported offenses. A significant change since the 1990 study was significant increases in the number of laity harassing laity, and laity harassing clergy.
Local churches were most likely to trivialize reports/complaints while were more likely to result in action against offenders.
Personal friends and relatives were most helpful to victims....................
The most lasting negative effects were inability to work with the offender, emotional impacts, and worsened feelings about self and the church.
Smaller membership churches need resources and training specifically developed for their unique settings and dynamics.................A Vision of God's hospitable community

Sexual harassment destroys community. This alienating, sinful behavior causes brokenness in relationships-the opposite of God's intention for us. From the first biblical stories of human community in the garden to the letters of Paul to the first Christian communities, we learn that all of us, both female and male, are created in the image of God, and thus have been made equal in Christ. We are called to be stewards of God's community of hospitality where there is not only an absence of harassment, but also the presence of welcome, respect, and equality.....The Truth is within your grasp..just acknowledge it..........The question is not whether you ever hear the voice of false teachers. You do — probably every day. The question is whether you can discern which messages are false.

If you watch any television, listen to any radio or podcasts, keep up on the news, or interact at depth with just about anyone in modern society, you are being exposed to some form of false teaching. If you cannot identify any voices you hear as false, it’s not because you aren’t being exposed, but because you’re falling for it in some way.

For most of church history, it took extraordinary energy and effort to influence the masses. Messages had to be copied by hand, and teachers had to travel by foot or horseback. There were no cars or airplanes, and no printing presses, websites, or Facebook pages. But today just about every false teacher has a Twitter account.

How, then, does the church discern true teachers from false ones in a world like ours, where it’s easier than ever to spread false teaching?

False Teachers Will Arise
“If you cannot identify any voices you hear as false, it’s not because you aren’t being exposed, but because you’re falling for it in some way.”TweetShare on Facebook
We begin by acknowledging not just the possibility of false teaching, but the certainty of it. We should not be surprised to find false teaching in the church today. Jesus and his apostles are very clear that false teachers will arise. They promise it. As Jesus says,

“False christs and false prophets will arise and perform signs and wonders, to lead astray, if possible, the elect. But be on guard; I have told you all things beforehand.” (Mark 13:22–23; see also Matthew 24:24)

Likewise, Paul warns the Ephesian elders (Acts 20:29–31) and his protégé Timothy (2 Timothy 4:3–4) that false teaching is sure to come (also 1 Timothy 4:1 and 2 Timothy 3:1–6). If we had any doubts at this point, Peter joins the refrain to add another voice: “There will be false teachers among you” (2 Peter 2:1).

So, we should not be caught off guard that false teachers have arisen throughout church history and likely have multiplied in our day.

Watch Their Doctrine — and Lives
What we might find surprising — both from Jesus and his apostles — is how revealing the everyday lives of false teachers are about their falseness. They are not just false in their teaching, but also in their living.

Beneath their doctrinal error, however subtle and deceptive, we will find ethical compromises in tow. And those don’t usually come out overnight; they take time. But they will come. Here’s how Jesus prepares us in Matthew 7:15–20:

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.” (see also Luke 6:43–44)

Jesus says it twice so that we won’t miss it: You will recognize them by their fruits. His warning may sound clear and simple at first, but as we all know, trees don’t bear fruit overnight. Eventually, however, the fruit (or lack thereof) will be manifest. And so it is with ethical compromise. What may begin as mere whispers in a private room will soon enough be proclaimed from the housetops (Luke 12:3). And so Paul instructs leaders not only to pay careful attention to their people and to their teaching, but also to their own lives (Acts 20:28; 1 Timothy 4:16).

No doubt, false teachers may be difficult to recognize in the moment. If we don’t have access to their personal lives, or their doctrinal compromises haven’t yet been manifest publicly in their behavior, we may find it difficult to know whether they are true. But time will tell. They will be known by their fruit — not the fruit of ministry quantity and numbers, but quality and endurance — and ultimately the quality of their own lives.

Allure of Money, Sex, and Power
In particular, 2 Peter 2 is remarkable in how it fleshes out Jesus’s warning about the fruit of false teaching. Peter has very little to say about compromised teaching, but he gives a litany of descriptions about compromised lives.

“False teachers are not just false in their teaching, but also in their living.”TweetShare on Facebook
Verses 1 and 3 mention the generalities “destructive heresies” and “false words” — which indeed relate to teaching — but then, nothing further in this chapter focuses on their teaching. Everything else is about their lives.

We can boil it down to three essential categories — and all three are about character and conduct, not teaching:

Pride, or defying authority (verse 10) — verse 1: they deny “the Master who bought them” (also verses 12–13 and 18).

Sensuality, which typically means sexual sin — verse 2: “many will follow their sensuality” (also verses 10, 12–14, and 19).

Greed, for money and material gain — verse 3: “in their greed they will exploit you” (also verses 14–15).

Again and again, Peter’s descriptions relate to greed, sensuality, and pride — or money, sex, and power. What false teachers throughout history have shared in common is not the specific nature of their doctrinal error, but the inevitability of moral compromise in one of these three general areas.

Another way to see it is that their falseness comes out in sin against themselves, against others, or against God. In their greed, they fleece the flock for material gain. Or in their lust, they compromise sexually (whether fornication, adultery, or homosexuality, which 2 Peter 2 suggests). Or in their pride, they “despise authority” (2 Peter 2:10), and the greatest authority, who upholds all authorities, is God himself.

You Can’t Study All the Counterfeits
If false teaching, then, is not only about what our leaders say and write, but also how they live, how is the church to recognize and expose false teaching today? It’s easy to hear someone’s teaching online or at a large conference, but how can we know their lives are true?

The greatest defense against false teaching is a local church community that knows, enjoys, and lives the word of God — and holds its leaders accountable. Little, if anything, can be done to hold teachers accountable who are far away, but much should be realistic and actionable in the life of the local church.

“We need shepherds who know themselves first and foremost as sheep, and only secondarily as leaders and teachers.”TweetShare on Facebook
Our leaders need to be held accountable, and not held in such high esteem that we give them a pass on the normal Christian life. Pastors should be with the people. Shepherds should smell like sheep, because they live and walk among the sheep, and are not sequestered from the flock. We need pastors who know themselves first and foremost as sheep, and only secondarily as leaders and teachers — pastors who are manifestly more excited to have their names written in heaven than they are to be used as vessels in mighty ministry (Luke 10:20).

Jesus Will Rescue His Church
But you know what? We can have our systems of accountability (and we should), and we can do our best to watch both the lives and the doctrine of our leaders (and we should), but in the end there is no foolproof human system or effort. This is why 2 Peter 2:9, the apex of this chapter on false teaching, serves as such a sweet assurance — “the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials.”

No matter how twisted the teaching, no matter how publicly shamed the church may feel over the exposé of an unethical leader, no matter how dark the days become, no matter how helpless we may feel in guarding gospel doctrine and preserving gospel-worthy lives, we have this great sustaining hope: Jesus knows how to rescue the godly.

Jesus is not only the greatest and truest teacher who ever lived, but he also is the great rescuer, who has redeemed us from sin and will keep those who are truly his from soul-destroying error. No matter how small a minority the church becomes, and no matter how fragile we feel, the very one who is both the subject of true teaching and the model of true living is also our life-and-soul-preserver.

As God preserved Noah (2 Peter 2:5) and rescued Lot (2 Peter 2:7), so the Lord Jesus will rescue his true people from the false teaching — and false living — of false teachers.................................  Mark Darling - You now walk in the destruction..devastation..the ruins of what once was...the walls crumbling..stifling dust suffocates you...you choke..the tears billow out of the corners of your eyes..you walk in the ruins of your own destruction and chaos and mayhem you created and thrived on.....yes there is a god...a loving god..yet at the same time..a vengeful god..one who rights wrongs and injustices and those who take his name in vain and who are arrogant and not remorseful for their actions here on earth...you wrought destruction..devastation on those who worshipped you as a graven image and idolater for they followed you blindly....yes ..yours is in the now and present....for you have been cut down.........god be the glory
« Last Edit: May 03, 2020, 06:33:14 pm by Ghost » Logged
Huldah
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« Reply #386 on: May 03, 2020, 05:05:51 pm »

Wow, Ghost, that's a really great article. Lots of good insight.
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